Your tips, please

[guv111]

Right. I went and did my weekly shop at 9am after getting up at 6.45 and drinking coffee for two hours.

I then went for a bike-and-pub outing between 10am and getting home at about 2.30pm.

So, now I'm a bit pissed (hic!) and have got some rather jolly music blaring.



What do I do for the next THREE hours, then?

[john68]

Start with your fingernails and work your way up towards the elbow....repeat other arm

[lets all have a disco]

Ohhhhh it's a hard life eh?

[Mike J]

crack one out.

[guv111]

Ohhhhh it's a hard life eh?

THREE hours!!!!!

[Scatman]

three hours is two lots of 90 minutes. I'd start with the 5-1 then maybe the 4-3.

[Kyle]

You can try chugging a bottle of nyquil and see if you can jack off before you fall asleep...

[Fidel Castro]

I wasn't nervous at all all morning and afternoon, hardly thinking about the game really. Palpatations have just set in now though so think I'll just start getting a bit pissed before heading off to town

[guv111]

I wasn't nervous at all all morning and afternoon, hardly thinking about the game really. Palpatations have just set in now though so think I'll just start getting a bit pissed before heading off to town

Sounds good.

Unfortunately, most of the others have suggested masturbation, and I'm now at the "tears" stage (seriously)...

Boo Hoo!

Hic.

[The Man In Blue]

greenage mate.

[Original Dub]

I'm heading down to get drink now and I'll be drinking on my own, so while I'm not pissed already like you, I was wondering what way to tackle the waiting...

Cracking one off wouldn't kill much time, nor would a shit.

Order a take away mate and by the time that arrives, you've eaten it and you get over it, you'll be right to start throwing more drink into you for an hour before kick off.

Food is a bastard to get over mid session, but it slows you down nicely and gives you second wind after a little while.

Either that or have a fist fight with some cunt. That always sobers drunk folk out :)

[guv111]

I'm heading down to get drink now and I'll be drinking on my own, so while I'm not pissed already like you, I was wondering what way to tackle the waiting...

Cracking one off wouldn't kill much time, nor would a shit.

Order a take away mate and by the time that arrives, you've eaten it and you get over it, you'll be right to start throwing more drink into you for an hour before kick off.

Food is a bastard to get over mid session, but it slows you down nicely and gives you second wind after a little while.

Either that or have a fist fight with some cunt. That always sobers drunk folk out :)

Due to having become a fat bastard of late, food is out. Diet for me. Anyway, waiting for food would surely have given me something else to worry about? - Will he find the house? - Will he NOT find the house and give it to someone else? - Will he eat it himself? -

Gah! That's another 15 minutes killed.


Maybe I should start posting in Off Topic? I do fancy a fight. GRRR!!!! See?