Monday's B*ll*x (Updated)

[Chinners]

Tevez back in "expensive" Manchester and its wet weather

Unsettled striker Carlos Tevez returned to Manchester City on Monday and the English city he had sworn he would never return to.
The Argentine has made no secret of his desire to leave the big-spending Premier League club, complaining of home sickness and saying there was nothing to do in Manchester and that the weather was bad.
Television pictures showed Tevez arriving at the club's training ground after a holiday following his spell on international duty at the Copa America, having missed City's 3-2 defeat by Manchester United in the Community Shield on Sunday.
There has been daily speculation in the newspapers about the future of Tevez, who had seemed poised for a move to Corinthians before the Brazilian club pulled out last month.
The 27-year-old, whose work ethic and goals had made him a popular figure among City supporters, upset fans with scathing comments on an Argentine chat show in June.
Manchester "has nothing" and is "very expensive," he said on the show according to local media, adding: "I'm never going back to Manchester, not even on holiday, not for anything."
Tevez, who joined City from United in 2009, had said last December that he wanted to quit the club, before withdrawing his transfer request a few days later and setting about helping the side win the FA Cup, their first trophy for 35 years.
The forward, joint top scorer in the Premier League last season with 20 goals as City finished third, then issued a statement last month saying he wanted to leave, saying he was finding it hard living without his children in Manchester.
His return to City seems unlikely to stop the transfer rumour mill, particularly since the recent arrival of national team mate Sergio Aguero, seen as a natural replacement for him.
City kick off their league season at home to promoted Swansea City next Monday and assistant manager David Platt has said Tevez was unlikely to start.
"I think it'll be tight," Platt told Sky Sports News. "But Carlos is a strange one, in the sense he doesn't need a lot of time to get back fit... so we'll see.

OFFICIAL TEVEZ RETURNS BOLLOX
http://www.mcfc.co.uk/News/Team-news/20 ... ez-returns

Milan midfielder Wesley Sneijder reveals he is for sale
Sneijder helped the Netherlands to the 2010 World Cup final in South Africa Dutch midfielder Wesley Sneijder believes Inter Milan are willing to sell him for "the right amount".
The 27-year-old has been linked with a move to Manchester clubs United and City, although both have denied having made an approach for the player.
"All I know is that Inter need money and apparently I'm for sale for the right amount," he told Voetbal International.
"I've not spoken with City or United so I cannot say anything about my future."
He added: "Next week I play with the Oranje [Dutch national side] against England and then I have five days off. I hope that then everything will be cleared up."
Italian newspaper La Gazzetta dello Sport reported on Friday that City had signed the midfielder.
City boss Roberto Mancini dismissed the reports following his side's 3-2 defeat to United in the Community Shield on Sunday.
"No," he said. "It is not true. He is an Inter Milan player. We never spoke about him."
However, the former Inter manager did state that he was looking to add to his personnel before the close of the summer transfer window.
"We need to complete our squad," said the Italian.
"We have another 23 days until the end of the market in order to achieve the target we had at the start of pre-season."
In July, United manager Sir Alex Ferguson said his club had "no real interest" in signing Dutchman Sneijder.
His comments followed reports that claimed a deal of around £35m had been agreed between United and Inter, with Sneijder accepting terms on a £190,000-a-week contract.
Sneijder scored from a free-kick at the weekend in his side's 2-1 defeat by city rivals AC Milan in the Italian Super Cup.

Roberto Mancini: Mario Balotelli has left me needing a psychologist
Mario Balotelli's bizarre antics have left Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini feeling like he needs to see a psychologist himself.
The Italian striker is likely to lead City's attack when they take on bitter rivals Manchester United in the Community Shield this afternoon and Mancini will be hoping he sees Balotelli at his brilliant best - rather than having one of his mad moments.
Balotelli delighted the Citizens' coaching staff with his performances in the semi-final and final of the FA Cup last season, but has all too often hit the headlines for the wrong reasons.
The 20-year-old's latest indiscretions include a training ground bust-up with Aleksandar Kolarov and being substituted before half-time in a friendly against Los Angeles Galaxy following a failed attempt to score with an outrageous back heel.
Mancini, who also coached Balotelli at Inter Milan, has been working hard to help the player improve his behaviour, but isn't sure his efforts have been successful.
The City boss told the People: 'I have to speak to Mario every single day - and I need a psychologist!
'I don't know why he does the things he does, except to say that he is a young guy who will eventually grow up.
'But I have known him since he was 17 and he is even worse now than he was then.'
Mancini wants to see a big improvement in Balotelli's attitude and behaviour, but is willing to give him time to change.
'I think that Mario has everything to become a top player,' he added.
'Sometimes I have been disappointed with him but I understand his behaviour. It's important that I'm patient with Mario.'

Man City desperate to land Arsenal star after losing out on Ajax wonderkid
Manchester City believe they can land Samir Nasri – after being rejected by Ajax wonderboy Christian Eriksen.
City distanced themselves from reports in Italy that they had agreed a £32million deal for Inter Milan’s Wesley Sneijder. But City have failed with a £20million bid for Danish teenager Eriksen.
Ajax were willing to sell the attacking midfielder and Eriksen even visited Manchester.
But the 19-year-old decided against taking up the chance to move to the FA Cup holders because he feared he would not play regularly.
Now City will step up their efforts to prise Nasri away from Arsenal after having a £21million offer rebuffed for a player who is entering the final year of his contract.
Arsene Wenger is desperate to keep Nasri with Cesc Fabregas top of Barcelona’s wish-list.
City boss Robeto Mancini wants three more signings before the Premier League opener against Swansea next Monday.
He thought he had landed Eriksen, who was man-of-the match when England beat Denmark in Copenhagen last February.
But the midfielder’s agent Martin Schoots said: “Christian was very flattered by the interest from City, but at the moment it is not the step he wants to make.
“The feeling has to be right. It’s not about the money.”
Reports in Italy claimed a deal for Manchester United target Sneijder had been done.
But a City insider said: “Sneijder isn’t an option at the moment, but Nasri still is.
“It is simply being viewed inside the club as a bit of mischief-making by Inter because they are hoping to swap players for Carlos Tevez.”
Mancini, meanwhile, has put pressure of Emmanuel Adebayor, Craig Bellamy, Wayne Bridge and Roque Santa Cruz to all find new clubs after warning them they will not be named in the 25-man squad to be submitted to the Premier League on September 1.
Mancini said: “These players will not be in the squad because I have made it clear they are not part of my plans.
“We can only have 25 players in the squad – and it is the same for the Champions League.”
Mancini has also told Shaun Wright-Phillips he can leave, with Stoke now hoping that the offer of Europa League football will make them a more attractive proposition than Sunderland, Bolton and Wigan.

Bolton set for talks with Man City winger
Bolton boss Owen Coyle has been given the go-ahead for talks with Manchester City winger Shaun Wright-Phillips.
City chiefs say he can leave immediately but Roberto Mancini wanted to keep him until he can make a move for Tottenham’s Aaron Lennon.
Wright-Phillips’s camp are looking for a four-year deal on his current £60,000-a-week but Coyle hopes to persuade him a switch will be good for his career if not his bank balance.

[spoiler][/spoiler]

OTHER BOLLOX
Arsenal are set to complete £12m signing of midfielder Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain from Southampton. Daily Telegraph

Manchester United target Wesley Sneijder says he will leave Inter Milan if the right offer comes in. Daily Mirror

The Gunners have pushed on with their pursuit of Bolton's Gary Cahill after Thomas Vermaelen was injured in Saturday's 2-1 friendly defeat by Benfica. Daily Mail

Tottenham's pursuit of a new striker could lead them to 25-year-old Costa Rican international Bryan Ruiz, who plays for FC Twente. Daily Mail

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew has made a personal check on Holland international Erik Pieters as he lines-up a replacement for left-back Jose Enrique. Daily Mirror

Swansea are considering an ambitious move for former France striker David Trezeguet. Daily Mirror

Newcastle United are considering a bid of £3.5m for Norwich City striker Grant Holt. footybunker.com

Tottenham have been linked with a move for £8m-rated Celtic playmaker Ki Sung-Yueng. fanatix.com

Blackburn Rovers are trying to sell a handful of players in a secret list that reveals the salaries of manager Steve Kean's unwanted men. Daily Mirror

Striker Peter Crouch is determined to remain with Tottenham Hotspur and has urged midfielder Luka Modric to do likewise. the Guardian

Stoke are set to make a £3.5m bid for Marseille midfielder Charles Kabore. Daily Mirror

Manchester United defender Chris Smalling has backed team-mate David de Gea to recover from an underwhelming debut in goal during their 3-2 win over Manchester City in the Community Shield. talkSHIT

Tottenham fear riots could threaten opening Premier League match against Everton. Daily Mail

Russia takes steps to eradicate racism in football by banning BNP logo. Daily Mail

Arsenal are waiting on the fitness of striker Robin van Persie and defender Thomas Vermaelen, who were both injured in the pre-season friendly against Benfica. the Times

Striker Peter Odemwingie is doubtful for West Brom's league opener this weekend. the Sun

Tottenham's Kyle Walker is expected to make his full England debut against the Netherlands on Wednesday at right-back. the Daily Telegraph

Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas has donated a signed Chelsea shirt to a charity auction for the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation. Robson took a 16-year-old Villas-Boas on as a coaching trainee at Porto in the mid 1990s. the Times

Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas is prepared to give up more than £4m in bonuses to secure a move to Barcelona. Daily Mail

The Gunners are expected to complete the signing of Southampton's teenage sensation Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain in a £12m deal this week and remain in contention to sign defenders Chris Samba and Gary Cahill. Sunday Mirror

Reading manager Brian McDermott admits he is expecting a host of clubs to bid for his highly-rated Republic of Ireland international striker Shane Long. talkSHIT

Everton manager David Moyes will make a late £10m move for Tottenham striker Peter Crouch - and could offer midfielder Jack Rodwell in a swap to land him. the People

Liverpool have finally agreed a £5.5m fee for Newcastle defender Jose Enrique. Daily Star Sunday

Chelsea, Tottenham and Arsenal are ready to fight it out for £10m-rated Shakhtar Donetsk attacking midfielder Douglas Costa. footybunker

Tottenham midfielder David Bentley is being offered the chance to return to Blackburn Rovers and rebuild his career after a frustrating two seasons at White Hart Lane. the People

Newcastle boss Alan Pardew has confirmed he will sign Gabriel Obertan from Manchester United for £3m on Monday. Sunday Express

Tottenham are weighing up an approach for Liverpool midfielder Lucas Leiva. fanatix

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew admits the club who once broke the world transfer record to sign Alan Shearer can no longer afford to compete for the top players. Sunday Mirror

Real Madrid and French international striker Karim Benzema has emphatically declared his intention to remain in Spain with Real and has denied ever even speaking to representatives of Arsenal. Footie Online

The Glazers are preparing to sell a stake in Manchester United but intend to remain in control of the Premier League champions. Daily Mirror

Chelsea teenager Oriol Romeu, who joined last week from Barcelona on a four-year deal, has revealed he would like to return to the Spanish giants in the future. Metro

England manager Fabio Capello has said that although Joey Barton is a good player, the Newcastle midfielder is not in line for an international call-up because he is too likely to be sent off. (Various).

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will name striker Robin van Persie skipper this season, once Cesc Fabregas completes his move to Barcelona. (Daily Star Sunday).

Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas showed his players he may not be the modern man they thought he was by performing a Portuguese folk song at his initiation ceremony. Metro

BOLLOX BOLLOX
Roberto Mancini defends Mario Balotelli after Gary Neville criticism
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has defended Mario Balotelli after the striker was branded an 'embarrassment' by Gary Neville during the Community Shield.
Roberto Mancini has once again been forced to defend Mario Balotelli after Manchester City's defeat in the Community Shield
Working as a Sky Sports pundit during Manchester United’s 3-2 victory over City at Wembley on Sunday, Neville described Balotelli as an ‘embarrassment to his club’ after the Italian appeared to storm down the tunnel after being substituted in the second half of the game. ‘He has seemingly stormed off today and he's a bit of an embarrassment to his club and he needs to sort himself out because to be honest with you Mancini just sort of needs to get settled team, a group of players who are moving in the right direction,’ the former Manchester United captain declared.
However, Mancini was quick to defend the 20-year-old after his side’s defeat but did admit he thought Balotelli could play better. ‘None of my staff told him to come back [from the dressing room]. I was concentrating on the game. Every time Mario does something people read things into it,’ the Manchester City boss said on Sunday.
‘I think he can do his job better. He can play better than he did today. But it’s important he works for the team like the other players.’ Neville, however, was not so complimentary during the post-match analysis on Sky, saying: ‘Every club has problems and sometimes there players who have problems during a season but this player is a continual problem.
‘Roberto Mancini spends half of his press conferences talking about this player and I don't get it, to be honest with you.’
Wayne Rooney was also happy to have a dig at City following United’s win at the weekend, taking to Twitter after the final whistle to declare: ‘Have to say. I think today was a footballing lesson. Great win for the champions.’
United kick off the defence of their Premier League title against West Brom on Sunday, while City take on newly-promoted Swansea on Monday.

Manchester Airport bid to make Carlos Tevez and Mario Balotelli stay at City
Staff at Manchester Airport have put up wanted posters with a difference - featuring unhappy City stars Carlos Tevez and Mario Balotelli.

Rather than being part of an effort to hunt the duo down after they made disparaging comments about Manchester, they are intended to help the players understand that they are wanted in the city.
Tevez is keen to leave City to be closer to his family and recently told an Argentine television station he didn't like living in Manchester, as it rains a lot, there are 'only two restaurants' and there is nothing to do.
Italian striker Balotelli has shown no signs of demanding a move, but recently admitted Manchester was 'not to his taste'.
Natalie Kelly, head of the airport's runway visitor park, is now hoping to persuade the duo that the north-west city is not that bad, reports the Manchester Evening News.
She has put up posters around the airport to ensure staff know who Tevez and Balotelli are and give them the full VIP treatment.
Ms Kelly has also written to the players via the club to tell them there is lots to 'fall in love with' in Manchester.
'We find it hard to believe when people say they don't like Manchester because we think it's simply that they don't know everything the city has to offer, including hidden gems like the runway visitor park,' she wrote.
'We all know about what places like Barcelona and Milan have to offer, but there's more to Manchester than meets the eye.'
Tevez may find it heart-warming to be wanted by someone, after City boss Roberto Mancini revealed there had been very little serious interest in signing the ex-Manchester United forward.

[Martinez]

It's weird about Sneijder, Baconface says they're not in for him, Bobby says we're not in for him, still the rumours keep surfacing. Someone is trying to flog him off, either Inter or an agent or both.

The italian clubs seem to have a strange Machiavellan way to go about their transfer policy, they claim to have all this dosh and get linked with the best players in the world constantly, but nothing materializes. Meanwhile, they're secretly spreading (allegedly) rumours about they're own players leaving for crazy amounts, while they publically denies it and claim they wouldn't part with this or that player, even for 100M £.

[CityGer]

I think Inter want rid of Sneijder. They're making the noises imo. He's on a ridiculous package and I think it's hampering them from strengthening. They could pay two top class players with what they're giving Sneijder and perhaps they've realised that they need to move him on in order to build their squad.

I can't see us matching his package at Inter, we'd need to pay him in the region of £260K-£290K a week for him to net what he's getting at Inter (allegedly). There's no way we'll do that.

It will be interesting to see how this pans out.

[Lev Bronstein]

I think that part of the problem is that Rooney and Tevez have clauses in their contract that says that they are the highest paid players at the club. Sign Schnieder, pay his wages and the wages of others have to go up accordingly. Something that grates at both clubs it appears.

[Ted Hughes]

Both City & Utd have clearly enquired about Sneijder, even the player has mentioned it. Bob & Shaky Bacon are lying.

[bobby brows]

Rumour Mill

FC Twente's Costa Rican striker Bryan Ruiz claims that Tottenham Hotspur have approached his agent with a view to bringing the player to White Hart Lane. "Spurs are a great club. I'd say that the chance that I'll leave Twente is 50%," said Ruiz, fiddling about on his abacus. In the wake of those riots in north London over the weekend, Tottenham's opening Premier League fixture of the season against Everton has been thrown into doubt, possibly as a result of police concerns that looters will storm White Hart Lane and make off with Luka Modric or Tony Hibbert.

Arsène Wenger wants to sign posh sounding Southampton midfielder Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who will swap life in the Championship for a more glamorous existence sitting on the bench at the Emirates, possibly wearing a top hat and monocle, and occasionally playing in Carling and FA Cup matches. With Thomas Vermaelen having pulled up lame in Arsenal's pre-season run out against Benfica, the Gunners are even more in the market for a centre-half than they were this time last week, and dispatched their chief scout Steve Rowley to the Reebok Stadium over the weekend to watch Gary Cahill play in Bolton's friendly against Spanish side Levante, stroke his chin occasionally and write things in a little notebook.

Wenger is also interested in Scott Dann and Christopher Samba, but according to the Daily Mail has had Cahill "watched" more than 20 times, which sounds like the kind of behaviour that could earn him an injunction. Along with Tottenham and Chelsea, Arsenal are also being linked with FC Koln striker Lukas Podolski, whose side was on the wrong end of a 3-0 hiding at the hands of Wolfsburg in the Bundesliga on Saturday.

Wesley Sneijder is set to sign for whichever Premier League club from Manchester offers Inter the most money and pays him £200,000 per week. "All I know is that Inter need money and that I'm for sale if the right offer comes in," he said coyly. "I can be very brief about the interest from Manchester United and City: I haven't spoken with either of those two clubs, so I can't really say much about my future at the moment." City it is, then.

The Mirror claims to have got its hands on "a secret list" that details the salaries of assorted Blackburn Rovers players the club's Indian owners Venky's want to get off their payroll. El Hadji Diouf is on £30,000 per week plus an additional £5,000 per game, a sum Rovers expect West Ham to pay in full if Sam Allardyce follows up his interest in taking the Senegalese miscreant to the Boleyn Ground on loan. Providing an intriguing insight into just how bonkers football has become, the "no holds barred document" apparently outlines that Blackburn's Irish midfielder Keith Andrews is on £21,000 a week basic, earns a further £2,000 per match played, gets a pay rise every time he plays five Premier League games and "an annual extra payment" of £21,667. Beats working.

With his South Korean winger Lee Chung-Yong out of commission with a broken leg for at least nine months, Bolton Wanderers manager Owen Coyle is ready to talk turkey with pint-sized Manchester City winger Shaun Wright-Phillips. According to the Mirror, the player's representatives are looking for a four-year deal on his current wedge of £60,000 per week, "but Coyle hopes to persuade him a switch will be good for his career if not his bank balance". Good luck with that.

The possibility of World Cup-winning former France international striker David Trezeguet standing on Kilvey Hill surveying his adopted home city of Swansea is not as ludicrous as it sounds. Meanwhile in Newcastle, Alan Pardew will stop worrying about things his players write on Twitter for long enough to bring PSV Eindhoven's Dutch international left-back Erik Pieters in as a replacement for José Enrique, who hasn't gone anywhere yet, but soon will. The Magpies are also counting out £3.5m in used tenners, which they will offer to Norwich City in exchange for East Anglian cult hero Grant Holt.