Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

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Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby Chinners » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:05 am

TEVEZ CATCHES A PLANE BOLLOX
http://www.3news.co.nz/VIDEO-Carlos-Tev ... fault.aspx

Tevez had ‘slipper thrown at him every time he licked his genitals’
Manchester City outcast Carlos Tevez has spoken out against the treatment he received from the club, after being physically struck with a house shoe for trying lick his own genitals in front of the fire.
Tevez claimed that being treated like a dog also extended to having his nose rubbed in it whenever he shat on the changing room floor.
He told reporters, “They dragged me over to the turd by my collar, and kept shouting ‘bad Carlos, BAD Carlos’- it was very humiliating.”
“It’s not like I put in the middle of the floor – I put in a corner out of the way.”
“They have to remember that I am a human, not a dog, and going around urinating on stuff at the training ground should not make you think otherwise.”
Tevez treated like a ‘dog’
Manchester City officials have denied the claims, insisting Tevez was not treated like a dog, but like any other wild animal in desperate need of house training.
“He was not treated like a dog, as dogs tend to form a loving bond with their owners, and don’t fly to the other side of the world to sulk because they’re not happy being paid a quarter of a million pounds a week.”
“That said, christ, you should see the fuss he kicked up when we tried to get him the team bath.”

WE DON’T WANT YOU BACK, MANCHESTER CITY STARS TELL CARLOS TEVEZ
CARLOS TEVEZ'S return to Manchester City is set to cause anarchy in the ­dressing room.
Rebel striker Tevez jetted back to Manchester via Heathrow last night and will bring an end to his ­ self-imposed exile from the Blues.
The first thing he can expect is a ­dressing down from City boss Roberto Mancini after he blasted the Italian and accused him of treating him “like a dog”.
But to make matters worse, Starsport can reveal his return to the fold will split Mancini’s squad down the middle, with some players furious he could be ­handed a second chance in the wake of his recent behaviour.
Tevez’s verbal attack in a TV ­interview last night will do nothing to ease the tension between both camps as he heads back to the ­Premier League leaders looking to get back into the team.
The Blues refused to comment on Tevez’s outburst but were said to be seething, not least because the former Manchester United star is still not ­willing to apologise.
Tevez, 28, has not played for City since his bust-up with Mancini during his side’s 2-0 Champions League defeat to Bayern Munich last September.
He refused to warm up during the ­second half and was fined following a club investigation.
Mancini vowed never to let Tevez play for the Blues again and the player promptly jetted off to Argentina without permission before refusing to return.
Then, last month, he failed to secure a move out of the Etihad.
Tevez’s decision to go on strike has cost him £10m in lost image rights, ­bonuses and fines.
In his absence, City have charged to the top of the table and they remain on course to land the club’s first ­ Premier League title.
A club insider said: “The lads who have played in the first team for a ­couple of years have no problem whatsoever with Carlos because at the end of the day, he carried us for a long time and we relied on his goals week in, week out. However, those who are still ­ relatively new are put out by the ­prospect of him coming back and ­potentially upsetting the apple cart.
“They feel reaching the top of the ­table has been down to a huge team ­effort and he could now swan back into the team, despite disappearing into the sunset and abandoning the project.
“It could all be irrelevant ­anyway ­because, unless Carlos comes back and licks the manager’s boots, he won’t get a game and will find himself training alone without a sniff of a match.
“This is an ego thing. People on the outside think it is all about Carlos ­apologising to the supporters and his team-mates.
“But as far as the manager is ­concerned, he was humiliated in ­ Munich and wants Carlos to basically bow down in front of him this week.”
The chances of that happening looked more remote than ever last night and Mancini will order Tevez to do double training sessions to get fit before he can even think about a playing return.
He has not played competitive ­football since September and the Blues have ­serious reservations about the state of his fitness.
Tevez’s agent Kia Joorabchian insists the player is returning to City with good intentions.
He said: “What Carlos is explaining in his interview is how he felt back then.
“The club and Carlos have been ­talking about things in a positive way, and he has said that he is ready to apologise if he has done something wrong.
“He sincerely never felt that he was ­doing something wrong, but understands his actions might have implied that.
“Mancini and Carlos have been ­working through the issues and they have pretty much done it behind closed doors.
“I think it is important that the ­football takes over from here. He is in a totally different mode now.
“He wants to come back and thinks City have been very good to him in the last ­couple of months. His main objective is to come back and help City win the title.”

Manchester City are interested in Athletic Bilbao central defender Javi Martinez, 23, who is valued at £25m. Sun

Manchester City poised to match rivals United and take treble
As Manchester City prepare for a clash with FC Porto in the Europa League on Thursday night, the Premier League leaders are in position to be rewarded for their off-field performance.
City, currently three points clear of Manchester United at the top of the Premier League, have been nominated for two Sport Industry Awards - website of the year and sport brand of the year - with one of the club's key partners, EA Sports, nominated in the best sponsorship category for its partnership with the club.
The only other soccer club to have previously won the brand of the year award is Manchester United ten years ago. UK Premier League media rights holders Sky Sports and Talksport are nominated in the same category as City for this year’s award.
The nominations follow a sustained effort by Manchester City to build the club's brand both in the UK and abroad, in the wake of the takeover by Abu Dhabi United Group in September 2008 and the significant investment in all areas of the club since.
"At a very high level, we see ourselves as a media entertainment company, not just a football club," explained Ian Cafferky, Manchester City's chief brand and commercial officer in an exclusive interview with SportsPro earlier this season.
"At a very high level, we see ourselves as a media entertainment company, not just a football club"
"We're trying to build a sustainable football club of the future. Now, within that we think along multiple axes," he added. "We're trying to double our revenues approximately by 2017. It's quite a tightly run machine - five year plans, one year plans, 90-day objectives - so it's probably not typically what i would say most sports entities are. Most probably have an inherited way of behaving; ours has definitely been driven by best practice in business."
In the same interview, which was published in the December/January edition of SportsPro, Cafferky also explained how Manchester City intend to continue building its brand globally. "A brand as it translates internationally, some pieces that are local naturally start to fall away and other pieces come to the top. The way we've gone internationally is to replicate our community identity as much as we can."
Cafferky pointed to the work done by City on last summer’s pre-season tour to the United States where community initiatives have taken place to support underprivileged children in New York and Los Angeles through soccer schools. Similar projects are being rolled out in Abu Dhabi, in conjunction with Etihad. “As long as you stay true to who you are, the different pieces will dial up and down,” Cafferky said. “There’s a whole ability to bring people in that we hope will translate internationally.”
The 2012 Sport Industry Awards will take place in London on Wednesday 2nd May, 11 days before the end of the Premier League season.

[spoiler]Valentine WAG
Image[/spoiler]

OTHER BOLLOX
Liverpool's American owners will fly into England this week after the club's main sponsors, Standard Chartered, expressed their dissatisfaction over the storm caused by Luis Suarez. Liverpool's global reputation has been badly damaged by the Suarez race saga that culminated in the Uruguayan striker refusing to shake Patrice Evra's hand at Old Trafford on Saturday.
http://www.sportingpreview.com/football ... 120634.php

Dutch legend Marco van Basten will make a return to management in the summer when he takes over as coach at Eredivisie side Heerenveen.
The 48-year-old, a former hero of Ajax, AC Milan and the Netherlands national team, will replace current boss Ron Jans, who has chosen not to extend his deal when it expires at the end of the season.
Van Basten's last management position was at Ajax, where he spent a year before departing in 2009 after failing to guide the Dutch giants to UEFA Champions League qualification.

Shoulder injury leaves Dunne dusted for eight weeks
Giovanni Trapattoni will hope Richard Dunne’s recovery goes according to plan following confirmation that the rock of the Republic of Ireland defence could be out for up to two months after he fractured a collarbone in Aston Villa’s 1-0 defeat to Manchester City on Sunday.
Dunne was undergoing surgery in Birmingham yesterday, after sustaining the injury when he fell heavily on his right shoulder while challenging City keeper Joe Hart for a high ball in the dying moments of the game at Villa Park.
After the FAI had revealed the nature of the injury, Aston Villa confirmed it in a statement, saying: "Richard Dunne sustained a fracture to his right clavicle in the game against Manchester City. He will undergo an operation today in Birmingham. It is anticipated that he will be sidelined for up to eight weeks."
That prognosis would bring Dunne’s recovery period through to mid-April and, barring any further complication arising from the injury, it means that he should be fully fit for the European Championship finals in June.
Trapattoni reacted to news of Dunne’s lay-off by calling up a player he’d only last week deemed one for the future, for the friendly game against the Czech Republic in Dublin at the end of this month.
Shane Duffy has his own remarkable recovery story to tell, of course, the U21 cap having suffered a freak injury when he ruptured his hepatic artery during a senior training game in May of last year, following which the 20 year old required life-saving surgery.
Happily, the defender recovered and is now a rising star at Everton, his call-up to the senior Ireland squad a statement of Trapattoni’s belief in the player’s potential given that he could have opted to stick with the familiar by recalling Paul McShane.
Duffy was thrilled with his call-up, writing on his Twitter page: "Can’t thank everyone enough for all the tweets still buzzing!! Thanks cant wait now!’’
Although he was very much an outside bet to make the Euros plane, Dunne’s fellow Villa defender Ciaran Clark is also in the wars after sustaining a knee injury in training that will keep him out for a few weeks, according to Villa boss Alex McLeish.

Wayne Rooney laughs at Toure brothers on Twitter after cup exit
Wayne Rooney seemed to have little sympathy for rivals Kolo and Yaya Toure when he tweeted 'Haha' after the brothers had suffered a cruel African Cup of Nation's final defeat to Zambia on penalties.
Earlier it had appeared Rooney was in support of the Ivory Coast team when he tweeted a positive message about Drogba following his penalty miss.
He wrote: 'Wow just seen drogbas pen. Awful. He is a great player though. I think he will score winner.'
But the England striker soon showed his true allegiance when Zambia won the game 8-7 on penalties after the match had finished 0-0 following extra-time.
When responding to Manchester United teammate Tom Cleverly, who had congratulated Zambia on their victory, he wrote: 'zzzzzzzzzzz pga golf is on. Come on boys. Funny that 2 toures was there all the way and lost. Haha.'
This would of especially angered Kolo Toure who missed a penalty for Ivory Coast in the shootout.
Twitter users were also displeased with the 26-year-old's tweet, as many believed Rooney should be last one to criticise others for international failure.
@RealYoungGunner tweeted: 'Funny that Rooney's mocking the Touré brothers for not winning the African Cup. Has he even played in an international final?'
@NickMillerF365 added: 'I do hope that when England next lose on penalties, the Toure brothers are there to unleash gales of laughter in Wayne Rooney's face.'

Lille winger Eden Hazard, 21, has decided to join Tottenham at the end of the season, turning his back on interest from Manchester United, Manchester City, Arsenal and Chelsea. However, a fee has yet to be agreed between Spurs and the French side.
Hazard has refused to be drawn on reports linking him with a move to White Hart Lane. "Maybe it will be Tottenham," he said of his summer destination. Hazard has been linked with a host of Premier League sides RTBF

Arsenal have Benfica striker Rodrigo lined up as a possible replacement should Robin van Persie leave The Emirates Stadium. The 20-year-old had a loan spell at Bolton last season. Daily Mail

Udinese are preparing to cash in on highly-rated goalkeeper Samir Handanovic. The 27-year-old Slovenia international was a target for Manchester United before they opted to sign David De Gea in the summer. talkShite

Manchester United will face competition from CSKA Moscow and Juventus for the signature of Basel midfielder Granit Xhaka. talkShite

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich addressed manager Andre Villas-Boas and the Blues squad at the club's Cobham training ground after Saturday's 2-0 defeat by Everton. the Guardian

Villas-Boas's future is in increasing doubt after his players openly criticised his tactics and team selections. They questioned the Portuguese's methods after he had blamed poor attitude and application for a run of poor recent results. Daily Mirror

Former Tottenham striker Jurgen Klinsmann has played down speculation that he could take over as Tottenham manager if Harry Redknapp leaves to take the England role. London Evening Standard

Former Wolves manager Mick McCarthy is set to be offered the Leeds United job vacated by Simon Grayson. Daily Mail

Wolves chairman Steve Morgan has backed former Charlton and West Ham boss Alan Curbishley as having the necessary credentials to take over at Molineux, but warns that there are a number of well-qualified candidates. Express & Star

Sunderland will triple the wages of winger James McClean, 22, after his superb run of form under manager Martin O'Neill. Daily Mirror

Ledley King hopes he has done enough to convince Tottenham he is worth a new two-year deal. the Sun

Peter Odemwingie wants West Brom to tie manager Roy Hodgson down on a new contract in order to maintain stability at the club. Daily Star

The break in protocol before Manchester United's league meeting with Liverpool at Old Trafford on Saturday - in which the visitors walked along the line of United players during the pre-match handshakes rather than vice-versa - was an attempt by referee Phil Dowd to keep Luis Suarez out of trouble. Daily Mail

Manchester United's Ryan Giggs, who is poised for his 900th game for the club, believes Premier League players do not need a staged pre-match handshake to prove their respect for each other. Daily Telegraph

Last edited by Chinners on Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:51 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x

Postby Ted Hughes » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:32 am

Cheers Chinners.

If Hazard goes to Spurs, either Bale or Modric will be going elsewhere. No way would they fork out for him without getting a big wad of money in. Seeing as Harry probably won't be there though, who would be signing him ?
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Well I heard that the Sheikh... bought Carlos Tevez this week...& you fuckers aint gettin' nothin..
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x

Postby Lev Bronstein » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:49 am

Modric to the Rags
"You sir, will either be hung as a traitor or die of the pox"
"That sir, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress"
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x

Postby halnone » Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:01 am

Rooney is a cunt





We need to get Hazard before Spurs.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x

Postby dazby » Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:35 am

McCarthy at Leeds would be an inspired signing.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x

Postby kinkylola » Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:47 am

well, did anyone not already know that rooney is a huge cunt?

as for hazard ... he will be a star wherever he goes, and i would much rather it us than a rival in the prem.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby ashton287 » Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:07 am

Rooney is a racist. Would enjoy someone official accusing him of it.

Would be fucking hilarious watching him squirm and would probably get the thick cunt off twitter at minimum.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby Im_Spartacus » Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:10 am

So of those who have not been around whilst Carlos carried us, that would be Dzeko, Aguero and Nasri.

I would have thought that Dzeko would (and should) feel under threat, as should Nasri. If it is at all true about unrest, (which I doubt), then Nasri and Dzeko should consider upping their own contributions, so if Tevez returning to the squad has that effect, even if he never plays, happy days, we should piss the league.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x

Postby Yffi_88 » Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:24 am

halnone wrote:Rooney is a cunt





We need to get Hazard before Spurs.



Both of these things. ^^^

Really excited to see Hazard in the prem, but i wish it was in blue.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby ashton287 » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:33 pm

Yffi_88 wrote:
Both of these things. ^^^

Really excited to see Hazard in the prem, but i wish it was in blue.


One thing is for sure. He won't ever be playing for spurs. Will cost too much. When was the last time spurs spent 35 million? Never thats when. If they did he would have to turn down a huge pay rise to fit in with their pay structure. £150,000 a week will be the STARTING mark for contract negotiations and will end up higher. He isn't going to join the third best team in England for half the wages he could get at 4 others.

Doubt he will end up in the prem atall if I'm honest.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x

Postby trout man » Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:54 pm

dazby wrote:McCarthy at Leeds would be an inspired signing.


Agreed, I think McCarthy is a good honest manager and would be a good signing for leeds
Hoping our new rollercoaster gives us the thrill of our lives.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby Wooders » Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:06 pm

we don't need hazard if we're getting bale
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby Sideshow Bob » Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:11 pm

Wooders wrote:we don't need hazard if we're getting bale


no chance. the inflatable bananas would drive him mad.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby paddyblue » Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:17 pm

" The break in protocol before Manchester United's league meeting with Liverpool at Old Trafford on Saturday - in which the visitors walked along the line of United players during the pre-match handshakes rather than vice-versa - was an attempt by referee Phil Dowd to keep Luis Suarez out of trouble. Daily Mail "

how was that supposed to keep suarez out of trouble ?
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby geepeetee » Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:58 pm

Sideshow Bob wrote:
no chance. the inflatable bananas would drive him mad.


Like this very much chimpy bale made me chuckle
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby Ted Hughes » Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:05 pm

paddyblue wrote:" The break in protocol before Manchester United's league meeting with Liverpool at Old Trafford on Saturday - in which the visitors walked along the line of United players during the pre-match handshakes rather than vice-versa - was an attempt by referee Phil Dowd to keep Luis Suarez out of trouble. Daily Mail "

how was that supposed to keep suarez out of trouble ?


If he's stood still, people can come past & do snidey things to him whilst smiling & pretending to be cracking a joke etc. Thats what I'd do, smile & put my full weight right on his big toe whilst crushing his hand.
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby Im_Spartacus » Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:09 pm

Ted Hughes wrote:
paddyblue wrote:" The break in protocol before Manchester United's league meeting with Liverpool at Old Trafford on Saturday - in which the visitors walked along the line of United players during the pre-match handshakes rather than vice-versa - was an attempt by referee Phil Dowd to keep Luis Suarez out of trouble. Daily Mail "

how was that supposed to keep suarez out of trouble ?


If he's stood still, people can come past & do snidey things to him whilst smiling & pretending to be cracking a joke etc. Thats what I'd do, smile & put my full weight right on his big toe whilst crushing his hand.


United players would never dream of such things. They are model professionals
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby DoomMerchant » Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:49 pm

geepeetee wrote:
Sideshow Bob wrote:
no chance. the inflatable bananas would drive him mad.


Like this very much chimpy bale made me chuckle


apist.

cheers
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby DoomMerchant » Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:52 pm

Im_Spartacus wrote:
Ted Hughes wrote:
paddyblue wrote:" The break in protocol before Manchester United's league meeting with Liverpool at Old Trafford on Saturday - in which the visitors walked along the line of United players during the pre-match handshakes rather than vice-versa - was an attempt by referee Phil Dowd to keep Luis Suarez out of trouble. Daily Mail "

how was that supposed to keep suarez out of trouble ?


If he's stood still, people can come past & do snidey things to him whilst smiling & pretending to be cracking a joke etc. Thats what I'd do, smile & put my full weight right on his big toe whilst crushing his hand.


United players would never dream of such things. They are model professionals


someone's probably done this to death, and i'm not defending the bucktoothed racist-wannabe in Suarez, but Evra kinda doesn't exactly make himself available for selection in the handshake line, does he? if i'm Suarez and i see him balk a little and i believe in my heart of hearts that the guy has unjustly accused me i'd probably have a "fuck you then" moment as well and not stick my hand out first.

Childish i know, but i kinda saw something like that in the footage i saw. Has that been done to death in some thread i missed? i don't read them all, just the smart ones.

cheers
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Re: Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

Postby Blue in the face » Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:54 pm

DoomMerchant wrote:
geepeetee wrote:
Sideshow Bob wrote:
no chance. the inflatable bananas would drive him mad.


Like this very much chimpy bale made me chuckle


apist.

cheers



Funny as fuck.

Thanks for the laugh.
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