The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

[john@staustell]

Six points behind us and LvG saying they're back in the title race...

Well six points is nothing. But he obviously hasn't actually watched them.

[Bianchi on Ice]

Six points behind us and LvG saying they're back in the title race...

They, and their shit shovelling mates in the media cant help themselves. They then wonder why almost all other football fans despise them.

[dave watson's perm]

Six points behind us and LvG saying they're back in the title race...

They, and their shit shovelling mates in the media cant help themselves. They then wonder why almost all other football fans despise them.

It only serves to make it all the more funny when they go on another losing streak..................not bad enough to risk Agent Van Ghoul losing his job hopefully!

I saw a bit of the second half yesterday and it was woeful - Sunday league stuff

[john@staustell]

The Daily Fail fires another blast at the RAGs, this time the wreckage that was the academy. I've tried to filter out all the picture links but it wont be a perfect copy.

In the words of Percy Bysshe Shelley:

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footba ... paign=1490

In the main corridor leading to the academy changing rooms at Carrington, images of some of Manchester United's greatest players leap out at the youngsters.
As they tie up their boots before training, they can look up to pictures of David Beckham, Duncan Edwards, Ryan Giggs, Sir Bobby Charlton and Norman Whiteside. All of them progressed through United's academy.
On Friday evening, seven miles down the road from the Theatre of Dreams, the studs will rattle the corridors of Altrincham's Moss Lane ahead of an FA Youth Cup fourth-round tie against Chelsea.

United's academy at Carrington has been neglected in recent years, leaving the club behind their rivals
Ryan Giggs (left) and David Beckham both progressed from United's youth ranks to the first-team .

Under 18s manager Paul McGuinness sees his side second-bottom in the Premier League Northern Division.

United Under 18s will travel to Altrincham's Moss Lane to face Chelsea in the FA Youth Cup on Friday
Paul McGuinness, son of former United manager Wilf, is in charge of an Under 18s team who have lost their last 10 matches in the Premier League Northern Division. Nobody gives them much of a chance against the defending champions Chelsea.
United's academy is in bits, with chronic under investment one of principal reasons that the Under 18s are a staggering 30 points behind Manchester City in the league.
The Under 21s, coached by Warren Joyce, are still on course for the Premier League title, but the deeper concerns lie with the younger age groups.

United's academy costs £3.5million a year to run, woefully shy of the £12m pumped into City's set-up and the £7m Chelsea invest in their lavish academy system.
Coaches are paid £20,000 a year at United, around half of that being paid to the very best at City.
They have allowed their rivals to steam ahead, to pick up the best young talent in the North West and beyond.
At huge expense, City put them through independent grammar school, preparing them for a future outside of the game in case they do not make it.
United are labouring, with an air of apathy sweeping the academy after years of neglect.
Louis van Gaal is well aware that standards have slipped, standing up at a recent Premier League managers' meeting to demand better coaches in this country. Arsene Wenger, critical of the standards at Arsenal's Hale End academy, seconded him.
United's academy has become an afterthought, with the emphasis on sponsorship and marketing deals to fund the massive transfer fees and wages that are swallowed up by the first team.

To get so much as a new set of balls, bibs and cones, the purchase order needs to be seen by that many sets of eyes at Old Trafford that academy staff have given up pleading for investment.
The club's technical board, executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward and the club's owners, the Glazer family, are across every item of expenditure. A new order can take three months to be signed off, a ludicrous amount of time for a club ranked third in the Deloitte money list on Wednesday with annual revenues of £400.3m.
The shadow of the Class of '92 hangs heavy over this club, a one-off generation who went on to win countless Premier League titles before finally landing the big one, the Champions League, under Sir Alex Ferguson in 1999.


To bring this academy back into line will take years of planning and funding, something United have started to look at after poking their noses over the neighbours' fence.
Tottenham's academy director John McDermott, a childhood United fan, turned down the position in December because he is on to a good thing at White Hart Lane.
Tottenham's youth team were well beaten by Middlesbrough in the FA Youth Cup last week, a reminder that the competition can still spring the occasional surprise. On Friday, it is down to United to pull off a shock.

[City64]

Breaking News !!!
All over the radio now ..... claims that Man Utd have held talks with Pep Guardiola last week , all over twitter aswell .
This has to be utter bullshit of the highest order ???

[Wonderwall]

Breaking News !!!
All over the radio now ..... claims that Man Utd have held talks with Pep Guardiola last week , all over twitter aswell .
This has to be utter bullshit of the highest order ???

Strap yourself in. You don't think their going down without a fight do you.

[dave watson's perm]

Breaking News !!!
All over the radio now ..... claims that Man Utd have held talks with Pep Guardiola last week , all over twitter aswell .
This has to be utter bullshit of the highest order ???

Strap yourself in. You don't think their going down without a fight do you.

They've denied it according to BBC. Probably generated the story themselves to show that they are in the mix as regards Pep.

Seriously though, why the fck would he want to go to that shit heap especially given the story about the state of their "academy"?

[john@staustell]

Breaking News !!!
All over the radio now ..... claims that Man Utd have held talks with Pep Guardiola last week , all over twitter aswell .
This has to be utter bullshit of the highest order ???

You get out of bed late mate.

Or this this one of those SKY 'breaking news' tickers where they have it up for about 2 days?

[Mase]

Can't remember which rag top it was, but I read this morning that Pep would 'prefer to manage United' than City according to 'sources close to him'. I read the article and there were no quotes from anyone, just the line that he would 'prefer to manage United'. Haha! How can they get away with such bullshit?!

[AG7]

And this lot was "genuine title contenders" after our game at Etihad ... Ha, losing at Norwich now and remain smack mid table where they belong.

I really want us to thrash them in the CapitalOne cup final ...

[john@staustell]

Youth Cup result

Scum 1 Chelsea 5

As predicted in the article

Ha. ha. ha

[Bianchi on Ice]

scum in dire need of an experienced full back. ratboy is looking trim and will be available on a free very soon

[carl_feedthegoat]

[john@staustell]

LVG quit rumours are circulating in certain areas.

Damn.

[CTID Hants]

LVG quit rumours are circulating in certain areas.

Damn.

BBC web site have top story lvg admits failings

"They have or had great expectations of me which I cannot fulfil them... I am very frustrated because of that..... we have a lot of injuries"

[john@staustell]

Yeah but I can only quote a comment on Teamtalk right now where this bloke is saying that severance terms are being discussed. Might be crap but then again..........

[dave watson's perm]

LVG quit rumours are circulating in certain areas.

Damn.

BBC web site have top story lvg admits failings

"They have or had great expectations of me which I cannot fulfil them... I am very frustrated because of that..... we have a lot of injuries"

Well it was fun while it lasted.

Maureen in now or the family man until the end of the season??

[john@staustell]

Roll up roll up, get your tickets. This could be a record score for an U18 match. United haven't won since Noah was a lad so could be one worth popping into.

http://www.mcfc.co.uk/News/Tickets-and- ... 53726021?#

[Piccsnumberoneblue]

LVG quit rumours are circulating in certain areas.

Damn.

BBC web site have top story lvg admits failings

"They have or had great expectations of me which I cannot fulfil them... I am very frustrated because of that..... we have a lot of injuries"

Well it was fun while it lasted.

Maureen in now or the family man until the end of the season??

I really wanted them to wait until the end of the season and then appoint The Family Planning Officer. That would be an extra season down the toilet. Sadly if he gets the chance as an interim boss they'll realise that they need a manager with more than two sparking neurones rather than 'Giggsy'
Shame.

[john@staustell]

LVG quit rumours are circulating in certain areas.

Damn.

BBC web site have top story lvg admits failings

"They have or had great expectations of me which I cannot fulfil them... I am very frustrated because of that..... we have a lot of injuries"

Well it was fun while it lasted.

Maureen in now or the family man until the end of the season??

I really wanted them to wait until the end of the season and then appoint The Family Planning Officer. That would be an extra season down the toilet. Sadly if he gets the chance as an interim boss they'll realise that they need a manager with more than two sparking neurones rather than 'Giggsy'
Shame.

What's the matter with you? Don't you know Giiggsy played more games than anyone else, so he must be the best choice of manager.

Just think of other great players like Alan Ball, Ruud Gullit, Bobby Charlton, Graham Souness etc etc etc and another load of monumental failures.

Daft cunts.