Has Shrek been up to somethin?

[BobbyJ1956]

Who thinks no City players have ever paid for sex? Anyone on here ever done it? Something about stones and glass houses comes to mind.

[brite blu sky]

simply brilliant Chinners

[david yearsley]

May also have to amend "arse" to the Americanised "ass" - unless you´re a southern blue of course ! Dirty braaaaas doesn´t sound the same though;)
It´s a humdinger and look forward to hearing it on Sat

[Ted Hughes]

Who cares if City players have ever paid for sex so long as we can take the piss out of Rooney?

Amended.

[blootoof]

Who thinks no City players have ever paid for sex? Anyone on here ever done it? Something about stones and glass houses comes to mind.

[DoomMerchant]

Who thinks no City players have ever paid for sex? Anyone on here ever done it? Something about stones and glass houses comes to mind.

After 20 years with the same woman i can tell you that it costs me a lot more than 1k/fuck to blow my load. Just sayin. Do the maths peoples.

Cheers

[brite blu sky]

Who thinks no City players have ever paid for sex? Anyone on here ever done it? Something about stones and glass houses comes to mind.

After 20 years with the same woman i can tell you that it costs me a lot more than 1k/fuck to blow my load. Just sayin. Do the maths peoples.

Cheers

you should try doing it more often then.. cost per load blow will decrease.

just sayin like

[Ted Hughes]

Who thinks no City players have ever paid for sex? Anyone on here ever done it? Something about stones and glass houses comes to mind.

After 20 years with the same woman i can tell you that it costs me a lot more than 1k/fuck to blow my load. Just sayin. Do the maths peoples.

Cheers

you should try doing it more often then.. cost per load blow will decrease.

just sayin like

I don't believe him. He spends half his time jizzing about stuff on here.

[sandman]

Who's that with another prossie
Who's that with another ho
Yes Rooney paying double
and its getting him in trouble
as he's waiting for the itchiness to go...

[sandman]

He paid to shag a dirty slag rooney... rooney
He paid to shag a dirty slag rooney... rooney
It cost a grand for dirty cunt
Now coleens itching in the front
Oh wayne rooney dirty fucking twat.

[Blue Toy]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/spo ... 009063065/

MANCHESTER United fans were celebrating last night after Wayne Rooney ended a six year prostitute revelation drought.


The Rooneys will soon begin the sad task of dividing up their mountain of ghastly possessions
The striker was back to his best after a series of spectacular £1200-a-night intercourse sessions with a money-grubbing tart who was obviously going to tell the News of the World the moment he crawled back into his childish car.

It is the England star's first competitive sex scandal since pumping some fat old skank in the changing room of a Merseyside shell suit boutique in 2004.

Manager Sir Alex Ferguson said: "A lot of people will say that a player of Wayne's extreme wealth and intense stupidity should be bedding greasy whores week in-week out.

"I think even Wayne would accept that they have a point, but the fact that this lad was able to do it while his wife was pregnant is genuinely world class."

Fabio Capello has also welcomed Rooney's return to whore-mongering form.
The England manager said: "The low point was in South Africa, after the Germany game, when Wayne attempted a reverse Dutch Steamboat with a local hooker and ended up fracturing his wrist, losing the remote control and scaring the sweet bejesus out of Peter Crouch.

"For a player of his abilities this was basic sex trade and I worried he'd have to hang up his Travelodge loyalty card for good. But that one in the papers? I would beat you to death with Clive Tyldesley's just to watch her clean the bathroom."

Adulterologist Dr Emma Bradford said it was still unclear how Rooney's wife Coleen would react but it would almost certainly involve a shameless amount of money, the repeated use of the words 'RAT' and 'TEARS' in massive capital letters and then some more money.

She added: "It's such a tragedy because they have been together since Wayne was thinking about having sex with prostitutes as a 14 year-old boy.

"But unfortunately this is the guaranteed outcome when you hitch your wagon to an arse-faced millionaire with the brain of a stuffed gibbon."

Meanwhile some England fans stressed the exposé had once again forced them to imagine what Rooney's orgasm face might look like.

Wayne Hayes, from Hatfield, said: "I reckon it's like an angry, sunburnt tortoise that's just stubbed its toe."

[Chopper]

Apparently, Alex Ferguson had an 80's themed party for his players. Giggs arrived in a Cavalier, Scholes in a Sierra and Rooney chose to come in an Escort

[Curlie]

I remember screaming at the TV several times during the world cup, "You useless fat scouse c~unt. You couldn't score in a brothel." How stupid do I feel now!

[gillie]

The lady at the centre of this media expose is set to make a fortune doing adverts for laser eye correction specialists optical express.

























































Only joking.

[john68]

Well that's the bandwidth eaten up for another month eh gillie!

[Wooders]

Coleens having it pretty shit at the moment to be fair to the lass... I do feel sorry for her

[gillie]

Coleens having it pretty shit at the moment to be fair to the lass... I do feel sorry for her

Yeah it must be hard wondering what to spend the millions from the divorce on.

[blootoof]

Divorce? I don't care, says shamed England and Manchester United star Wayne Rooney

The 24-year-old multimillionaire footballer is said not to care whether Coleen seeks a divorce after a prostitute claimed that he paid her thousands of pounds for sex while his wife was pregnant.
Rooney, who is to play for England against Switzerland tonight in Basle, is apparently adamant that he will not be criticised by Coleen and her parents.
A source said: 'Wayne is not prepared to take any s*** off the wife and her family, not least because they're all living a very nice life off the back of his talent.
'If she can't handle it and it's over, so be it. Seems he thinks he can pretty much do what the hell he likes because they'd all be nothing without him.'
According to vice girl Jennifer Thompson, Rooney never made any attempt to conceal their relationship.
She claimed that they met for sex at the five-star Lowry Hotel in Salford and that after one encounter Rooney summoned a member of the hotel staff demanding cigarettes, handing over £200 in exchange for a packet of 20 Marlboro.
Miss Thompson said that he had openly spoken to her in front of Manchester United team mates including Michael Owen in Rio Ferdinand's Italian restaurant, Rosso.
And tellingly, Rooney and his advisers made no legal move to gag Miss Thompson - in contrast to other members of the England squad who have spent tens of thousands obtaining court orders preventing their names and details of their alleged indiscretions being published.
The source added that Rooney 'is not enjoying the attention or embarrassment' but added: 'He's not going to be walking through the front door on Wednesday s****ing himself by the sounds of it.'

[gillie]

Divorce? I don't care, says shamed England and Manchester United star Wayne Rooney

The 24-year-old multimillionaire footballer is said not to care whether Coleen seeks a divorce after a prostitute claimed that he paid her thousands of pounds for sex while his wife was pregnant.
Rooney, who is to play for England against Switzerland tonight in Basle, is apparently adamant that he will not be criticised by Coleen and her parents.
A source said: 'Wayne is not prepared to take any s*** off the wife and her family, not least because they're all living a very nice life off the back of his talent.
'If she can't handle it and it's over, so be it. Seems he thinks he can pretty much do what the hell he likes because they'd all be nothing without him.'
According to vice girl Jennifer Thompson, Rooney never made any attempt to conceal their relationship.
She claimed that they met for sex at the five-star Lowry Hotel in Salford and that after one encounter Rooney summoned a member of the hotel staff demanding cigarettes, handing over £200 in exchange for a packet of 20 Marlboro.
Miss Thompson said that he had openly spoken to her in front of Manchester United team mates including Michael Owen in Rio Ferdinand's Italian restaurant, Rosso.
And tellingly, Rooney and his advisers made no legal move to gag Miss Thompson - in contrast to other members of the England squad who have spent tens of thousands obtaining court orders preventing their names and details of their alleged indiscretions being published.
The source added that Rooney 'is not enjoying the attention or embarrassment' but added: 'He's not going to be walking through the front door on Wednesday s****ing himself by the sounds of it.'

He really is a self centred bastard hope his boy grows up supporting us.

[Ted Hughes]

Divorce? I don't care, says shamed England and Manchester United star Wayne Rooney

The 24-year-old multimillionaire footballer is said not to care whether Coleen seeks a divorce after a prostitute claimed that he paid her thousands of pounds for sex while his wife was pregnant.
Rooney, who is to play for England against Switzerland tonight in Basle, is apparently adamant that he will not be criticised by Coleen and her parents.
A source said: 'Wayne is not prepared to take any s*** off the wife and her family, not least because they're all living a very nice life off the back of his talent.
'If she can't handle it and it's over, so be it. Seems he thinks he can pretty much do what the hell he likes because they'd all be nothing without him.'
According to vice girl Jennifer Thompson, Rooney never made any attempt to conceal their relationship.
She claimed that they met for sex at the five-star Lowry Hotel in Salford and that after one encounter Rooney summoned a member of the hotel staff demanding cigarettes, handing over £200 in exchange for a packet of 20 Marlboro.
Miss Thompson said that he had openly spoken to her in front of Manchester United team mates including Michael Owen in Rio Ferdinand's Italian restaurant, Rosso.
And tellingly, Rooney and his advisers made no legal move to gag Miss Thompson - in contrast to other members of the England squad who have spent tens of thousands obtaining court orders preventing their names and details of their alleged indiscretions being published.
The source added that Rooney 'is not enjoying the attention or embarrassment' but added: 'He's not going to be walking through the front door on Wednesday s****ing himself by the sounds of it.'

He really is a self centred bastard hope his boy grows up supporting us.

I hope he grows up supporting Liverpool.