amusing chants /songs

[Avalon]

Here's a belter I've just been sent, hot off the press

Man U Number 5 (sung to the tune of Mambo Number 5)
"A Little bit of Chico's broken toes
A little bit of Fergie's whiskey nose
A little bit of Evra crying Race
A little bit of Giggsy ugly face
A little bit of Evans seeing Red
A little bit of Rooneys baldy head
A little bit of Nani takin a dive
you can see it all on channel 5"

And repeat

This.

Hilarious

[Chinners]

I remember one game at Oxford and City fans singing to Alan Ball "Alan Ball's a wanker he wears a wankers cap and when he wears it back to front he looks a fucking twat".

I remember an away midweek game there and it pissed down non stop. City were just singing 'Maxwell buy us a roof, Maxwell Maxwell buy us a roof' all game

[rosbif cuisson 'bleu']

i liked the "alan, alan give us a wave"...... bet he didn't have a clue what the f*ck was going on

[Mase]

There was that funny one that season, when City fans actually thought Ireland was a superhero.

[1950]

There was that funny one that season, when City fans actually thought Ireland was a superhero.

Silly. Everybody knows Ireland's an island.

[Goataldo]

There was that funny one that season, when City fans actually thought Ireland was a superhero.

Silly. Everybody knows Ireland's an island.

No superman is an island.

[Goataldo]

There's a sort of loveable old nutcase who stands near us. Always pissed, late and in need of reminding which row he's on. Vs Bayern, he.started singing 'oh when the beans, come out the tin!' To the tune of Oh When The Saints the rest of it was, 'I wanna be, in that toaster, Oh when the beans come out the tin'

Properly weird.

[john68]

There's a sort of loveable old nutcase who stands near us. Always pissed, late and in need of reminding which row he's on. Vs Bayern, he.started singing 'oh when the beans, come out the tin!' To the tune of Oh When The Saints the rest of it was, 'I wanna be, in that toaster, Oh when the beans come out the tin'

Properly weird.

Talking of wierdos....some nutters were singing "This is 6-1" over and over again (tunelessly) in the pubs in Chorlton...Nutcase but not sure about loveable tho.

[Goataldo]

There's a sort of loveable old nutcase who stands near us. Always pissed, late and in need of reminding which row he's on. Vs Bayern, he.started singing 'oh when the beans, come out the tin!' To the tune of Oh When The Saints the rest of it was, 'I wanna be, in that toaster, Oh when the beans come out the tin'

Properly weird.

Talking of wierdos....some nutters were singing "This is 6-1" over and over again (tunelessly) in the pubs in Chorlton...Nutcase but not sure about loveable tho.

Wahey! Look who's back! The six one song was a triumph and well you know it mate! Every rag bastard that heard us sing it will be reminded of it every time that disgusting shower run out to This Is The One at The Death Star!

[mcfc/wire]

A big group of Blues I know sing the full version of Rolf Harris's "Two Little Boys" song, but with the chorus sang being "If you hate Man Utd clap your hands, if you hate Man Utd clap your hands etc etc" There's also a line in the song of out from the ranks so "Blue Blue Blue" which is also sang with gusto.

One for the real trainspotters here but I remember coming away from Hillsborough after the last game of the 94/5 season (I think) and being on a Bus packed with City fans and there was a song that began, "Do you take it up the arse Mrs Schmeichel" which I cant fuly recall - can any of the other older farts like me shed any light on that old blast from the past from the 90's?

This year at COMS I Iaughed at the Swansea fans song "He's Scotty Sinclair, He's Scotty Sinclair, he shags Rosie Webster and Sally dont care."

Also remember Newcastle fans away at Monaco in a European game and singing "In your Monaco slums" - class.

I was on the same bus back from Hilsborough mate and it went like this .

Do you take it up the arse Mrs Schmeichel ?
Cos it only weighs a quarter of a pound .
Its got hairs on its neck like a turkey .
And it squeeks when you rub it up and down .

Then it got followed up by

Ohh Ahh , Ohh Ahh , Ohh Ahh , Cunt n Half .
Ohh Ahh
The Cunt n Half .

Sung it in work for months after . hahahah . Does that make me a trainspotter / old fart then ???? lol .

[Invisible Man Fan]

You're just a shit Michael Jackson, shit Michael Jaaackson

Think this was spurs towards Nani

[Ted Hughes]

There's a sort of loveable old nutcase who stands near us. Always pissed, late and in need of reminding which row he's on. Vs Bayern, he.started singing 'oh when the beans, come out the tin!' To the tune of Oh When The Saints the rest of it was, 'I wanna be, in that toaster, Oh when the beans come out the tin'

Properly weird.

Talking of wierdos....some nutters were singing "This is 6-1" over and over again (tunelessly) in the pubs in Chorlton...Nutcase but not sure about loveable tho.

Chances are I probably know them.

Nice to have you back & about bloody time.

[The Maine Man]

Can't remember who we were playing but we were losing and heading for relegation to div 2 and the away fans sang 'you're going sown' with the north stand singing 'we're going down on your mothers and daughters'

[Nigels Tackle]

if/when carlos makes his return to the first team, i think 40,000 people singing 'who let the dog(s) out?' would be kinda amusing...

[ashton287]

if/when carlos makes his return to the first team, i think 40,000 people singing 'who let the dog(s) out?' would be kinda amusing...

Before I leave when he comes on I'm gonna have a go at starting this in 110. Would be hilarious.

This one isn't from the city fans, it's from the toon, but it was sung at shrek which gives it credibility here.

Coleen is a slapper
She wears a wonder bra
And when she's shagging Rooney
She thinks of demba

I loved hearing this.

[Goataldo]

if/when carlos makes his return to the first team, i think 40,000 people singing 'who let the dog(s) out?' would be kinda amusing...

Before I leave when he comes on I'm gonna have a go at starting this in 110. Would be hilarious.

This one isn't from the city fans, it's from the toon, but it was sung at shrek which gives it credibility here.

Coleen is a slapper
She wears a wonder bra
And when she's shagging Rooney
She thinks of demba

I loved hearing this.

Was gonna say - Feels like the last line needs an extra syllable, without wishing to be a pedant - But it's Demba ba innit.

Surely we could work Yaya in there...? Big Yaya? Sounds a bit camp. Our Yaya? Sounds like Johnny Weissmuller. I dunno. On a slightly different theme, there simply must be a word that rhymes with, or sounds like Kun, that could be used in a song mocking Rooney.

[dazby]

Hows about Toure Yaya?

[Chinners]

Ha ha Ashton. I was at some away game (Old Div 3 season) years ago and there were a few City fans in this pub singing versions of that about Posh Spice. They had one for every City player at the time a la ...

Posh Spice is a slapper
She's got a smelly Beaver
and when she's shagging Beckham
She thinks of Nicky Weaver

Posh Spice is a slapper
Her minge is very tight
and when she's shagging Beckham
She thinks of Shauny Wright .... Shauny Wrigh Wright Wright

Posh Spice is a slapper
She's got a big fat boil
and when she's shagging Beckham
She thinks of Joey Royle
etc etc etc

[ashton287]

If I knew which wag belonged to which player I would have a crack at some of them. There should be a thread for games that gives inspiration to new songs about players in the game because some of our songs are dying on there arse these days. People could post all the shit about a player and then everyone could have a go at coming up with new songs involving them and the aforementioned shit. Might help people through boring days at work aswell.

So someone go do that for me. Think I'm so foe'd that most people wouldn't be aware of it if I started it ha.