The Man United fan who ran onto the pitch during the Manchester derby has been banned from football for three years.
Which isn't so bad, when you realise it's just one home game plus injury time.
Two lads in Man Utd tops have just smashed my windscreen.
I could of swerved but thought -Fuck Em
Why do astronauts do their training at Old Trafford?
Because there's no atmosphere.
To the tune of 'The animals went in two by two':
He's half a boy, he's half a girl
Torres, Torres,
He looks just like a transvestite,
Torres, Torres,
He wears a frock, he loves the cock,
he sells his ass on Albert dock
Fernando Torres,
Carraghers bit on the side.
His armband proved he was a red,
Torres, Torres,
we fucked him off and signed Tevez,
Torres, Torres,
now he's playing for the Scouse,
the fans are gonna rob his house,
Fernando Torres, Liverpool's number 9.
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Carlsberg don't do debt ridden football Club's...
... oh, hang on, yes they do!
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Why do so many housewives love Liverpool?
Because they stay on top for ages then come second.
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A woman goes into the doctors and says "Doc, everytime i open my legs i hear the song 'You'll never walk alone' "
The doctor says "Don't worry, you hear a lot of cunts singing that"
loads more scouse ones here :) http://www.sickipedia.org/get.php?categ ... rpool%20FC
