by Fidel Castro » Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:44 am
I love Negouai. This is a great read
UNFORGETTABLE - CHRISTIAN NEGOAUI
Say what you like about Kevin Keegan. But, when he described Christian Negouai as “the most exciting player” he’d ever signed, he could scarcely be accused of over-egging the pudding.
Agreed, ‘exciting’ is not how all fans expressed Christian’s arrival. But, subsequent events have proved KK right.
Of course, one makes these extravagant claims during moments of excitement - KK made a career out of it. And, let’s be honest, he’s hardly a man given to understatement. On this occasion though, our former manager could possibly have gone further.
Because, with the best will in the world, ‘exciting’ doesn’t even begin to describe Christian Negouai. It doesn’t come close. Would it be immodest to claim that he’s the most exciting player of all time?
Sure, there have been ‘great’ players. ‘All Time Greats’, even. But you will search in vain for anyone who’s generated as much God-knows-what-this-guy’s-going-to-do-next exhilaration with such little effort? Who else has crammed so much breathtaking lunacy into so few minutes of football?
For sheer amusement, you’d have to go a long, long way to find a player with a career as wincingly magnetic as our current No. 13.
My own curiosity in Christian Negouai was kick-started by what remains the most blatant ‘hand of God’ moment connected with the club since Bobby MacDonald punched one in against Peterborough United in the 1980-81 FA Cup run.
It would be difficult to exaggerate how badly Christian played during his home debut versus Rotherham. There was, for some, a question mark against his passing. Frankly, it wasn’t all it could have been.
Realising immediately that passing (long or short range) was not within his field of reference, those present wondered if crunching tackles might be his thing instead. An ‘Enforcer’, perhaps? Sadly not. The spirit seemed willing enough. The body less so.
Stricken by indecision, little came off for our hero as he failed to adjust to Maine Road’s wide open spaces. He had the air of having just jumped up from a heavy meal. The game seemed to pass him by. Incredibly, he went on to ‘score’ by palming the ball over the line (a skill in itself) from a corner.
All right so far then? Off to a nice start.
Of course, it couldn’t last. And, after a long run (by Christian’s standards) of uninterrupted football, the boom finally fell (three days later!) away at Blackburn in the Worthington Cup.
Remember, by this point, Christian had already amassed around two hours in a City shirt (he’d made his actual debut the week before at Portsmouth). As anyone will tell you, that kind of punishing schedule can only be maintained for so long. And so it proved. Following two of his, now trademark, lunges he was sent off for two bookable offences. Harsh.
There followed the first of Christian’s notorious - and numerous - ‘quiet’ periods.
Little is known of the artist’s movements during these mysterious absences. But they have become a feature of his time with the club. Suffice it to say that, after the success of his ‘early work’, not much was seen of the ‘leggy’ midfielder for a while as he got down to the serious business of skiving.
Cruelly, injury deprived him of any further cameos during the remainder of his debut season.
Even in extremis though, Christian has always retained the happy knack of being able to let things go from bad to worse, to even worse, to all time low.
For, where Christian leads, controversy follows - even into the Treatment Room. Operations on both knees were soon diagnosed. A devastating blow. Rest and relaxation prescribed. Christian knew better, of course, and ignored the club’s medical advice.
Needless to say, his recovery took longer than expected. KK went berserk. And, by the time he finally re-emerged (for the Reserves in the Senior Cup Final - during the last game of the second year of his contract) he’d fallen way down the midfield batting order. Difficult times.
If there was a thin shard of sunlight poking through that gloomy period though, it was the news that Christian intended to apply for Belgian citizenship in an effort to advance his international aspirations - modestly, he accepted that Zidane had got a stranglehold on his coveted French No. 10 shirt.
His hopes were boosted when he netted (again!) on his return to the first team. Astonishingly, this time it was in Europe. The UEFA Cup, no less!
Dizzy with expectation, by now, many of us had persuaded ourselves we had a real cult hero in our midst. If anything, his credentials were enhanced even further when he unwittingly became embroiled in a ‘doping’ scandal that later became tangled up in the FA’s president-setting treatment of forgetful Rio Ferdinand.
The fact that Christian’s failure to be tested (he claimed he had to nip to the airport to pick his mum up) was met with a mere slap on the wrists - Ferdinand went on to receive a high-profile six-month ban - only increased his share price amongst Blues.
But if his stock was rising off the pitch, he was no closer to securing regular football on it. Frustration.
Another quiet period followed – this time in, of all places, Austria, where he set up camp on loan to Sturm Graz.
Ahead of schedule though, Christian was back at his beloved City. His self exile over, Christian continued his purposeful slide into degradation by turning out for the Reserves. That he ended up opening the bowling for Asa Hartford’s young side, operating as Centre Forward was hardly a matter of choice. One has the impression the club’s coaches felt they’d tried him everywhere else (midfield, in ‘the hole’, central defence). Why not up front? Feed off his flick-ons. Could work…
With bewildering speed he was back in a first team shirt again.
There are times when the occasion seems to demand Christian Negouai. And a meaningless October Carling Cup tie at home to an under-strength Champions Select XI appeared a perfect arena for another comeback.
Those of us, who, by now, were hooked on Negouai, could have been forgiven for expecting things to go wrong. But not quite to the extent they did. Let’s just say the result was not altogether the success we had anticipated.
Clearly, he was rusty and couldn’t be risked for the full 90. The plan was to hold the Champions for as long as possible. And then unleash Christian, late on, to exploit Arsenal’s tired legs. He came on with 20 minutes to go.
Within minutes though, 13 to be precise, he was back on more familiar territory - the bench. The sub had been subbed! To be fair, he’d been involved in a horrible injury. Taking his courage in both hands, our no. 13 had charged after a loose ball. Stretching for it (in the midst of a cold snap, remember) he found he’d arrived at the touchline without changing down the requisite number of gears. And, having failed to make provision for a pitch-side puddle, he crumpled to the ground – in stages.
I swear the wind died for a moment or two, before, with his dignity in motion, Christian signalled for the physio. And that was that.
His next soon-to-be-abandoned match featured another run out as sub. Boxing Day, 2004. Away at Everton. And the slapstick continued. This time he only lasted 3 minutes. A record? Intent on more mayhem, Christian ran straight into problems - more accurately, Marcus Bent. Straight red. Unbelievable.
He stood around being devastated for what seemed the appropriate length of time. And then folded his bat.
That capped it. Something snapped within KK. And Christian was, literally, sent to Coventry – with largely disappointing results. To no-one’s surprise, injury (a recurring theme) cut short his stay in the Midlands. And Christian was back in the stands by the time Keegan gave way to Pearce and the proverbial slate was wiped clean.
How our hearts danced when Christian was named as a sub for the Liverpool game. I shudder to think what he’d have cooked up for us if he’d been let off the leash that day. But it wasn’t to be. No yellow cards. No straight red. No controversy. No nothing really. A huge disappointment - and what is known, in Negouai terms, as a ‘collector’s item’. Certainly a sad way to bow out.
It seems unlikely we will ever see his like again. At the time of writing he appears to have been confined to barracks - once again, held hostage by his past. Cut adrift.
After a series of failures, each more dismal than the last, a recall now looks unlikely. And yet, many Blues maintain that Keegan has been more or less exonerated – and I would suggest more rather than less.
In an age of rush and hurry, Christian always did things his own way. Utterly unsuited to the task of playing football, I maintain that Christian Negouai is still the ‘most exciting player’ I have ever seen.
To end with this.
When researching this piece, I looked up Christian’s career stats on the club’s official site. My jaw dropped when I saw he wasn’t listed under ‘midfielders’ in the official squad run-down. Panic.
Then I noticed our midfield had been sub-divided into ‘defensive’ and ‘attacking’ midfielders. I scanned the ‘attacking’ nominees. Not there either. Momentarily flustered, I began casting around amongst other hiding places. Central defence? Striker?
Nothing.
On the brink of giving up, I scrolled down. And there he was. Filed simply under ‘Midfielder, Christian Negouai.’ Alone. In a class of his own. To the last, utterly unique.
Forward with Negouai!
