Managers Christmas present list

[Bianchi on Ice]

Well, its that time of year again, all preparations complete, all gifts purchased and wrapped ready for the wife, kids and family on Friday. Now, all I need to do is finalise my list of pressies for the men who make or break the fans season...THE MANAGERS

Now, lets see, what do we have in this box...

ALLARDYCE.............a neck brace
ANCELOTTI.............just for men(chestnut brown)
BENITEZ.................nothing. whatever you got him he'd just moan and take it back to exchange
BROWN..................karaoke microphone
BRUCE...................2 Trunki suitcases
COYLE...................Rescue remedy travel sickness pack
FERGUScunt............an abacus, count the beads thats what youve got to spend pal
GRANT..................Halloweens been and gone so I'm stumped
HODGSON..............norwegian porn, in case you find yourself pining over Christmas.
McCARTHY.............Muppets christmas carol on second hand VHS (dont want to wear out a new DVD eh Mick?)
McLEISH................a framed photocopy of the current league table. To remind you of the good times.
MARTINEZ..............Dave Whelan's autobiography(you can get it signed you know where to find him)
MEGSON................Years supply of wrigleys spearmint(put them in a wrapper when you've finished please Gary)
MOYES..................Botox injections(Christmas AND birthday Dave, I'm not made of money)
O'NEILL.................Comedy nose and moustache, ANYTHING to liven the fucker up
PULIS...................fuck all. He can borrow sam's neck brace, I'll pay to get the dribble stains removed, but thats it
REDKNAPP..............a hacksaw and a marginally too short length of rope
WENGER................a slap up meal for two with a recently sacked welsh manager of your choice
ZOLA....................Ann Summers vouchers and a pair of cuban heels
MANCINI................what can you give a man who's got everything?

Anyone else got some goodies for these heavyweights of the prem?

[The Man In Blue]

designer hat for moyes - just needs a couple of observation holes cut in it.