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Headlines in the SUN or STAR could have been-
Something like- "LOONEY ROONEY SEES RED WHEN HE SPOTS THE MOONIE" reference to the blue moon before the game, anbody got any more

"Uni*ed dicked all over the park as true gulf in class shows what a bunch of gypsy twats Sir Bacon has to contend with each day"

MANCINI: BACON BOTTLED IT BIG TIME

GAME'S OFF, IT'S MICHAEL SNOWIN






I'll get me coat

UNITED COACH FORCED TO RETIRE...

..after losing control on an icy patch on the way to the City of Manchester stadium - killing everyone on board.

"I was one of the lucky ones. I was on that coach. We got as far as Manchester when we hit a bump. I fell out of the fire escape and my un used FA cup tickets went everywhere. Not one was left as the locals sprinted off with them"




Said Bobby Charlton

United in 9 goal thriller





City 8 Utd 1

LookMumI'mOnMCF.net wrote:GAME'S OFF, IT'S MICHAEL SNOWIN






I'll get me coat

thats fuckin great mate !

Lol'd so I did.

Plane crash kills the entire rag squad on way to ground for derby.







It's very bad taste I know but....you know.

"it was whacky races getting to the game last night" said Dick Dastardly as he was the only person at eastlands after spread stupid rumours about the game being off!

blootoof wrote:U***d COACH FORCED TO RETIRE...

..after losing control on an icy patch on the way to the City of Manchester stadium - killing everyone on board.

"I was one of the lucky ones. I was on that coach. We got as far as Manchester when we hit a bump. I fell out of the fire escape and my un used FA cup tickets went everywhere. Not one was left as the locals sprinted off with them"




Said Bobby Charlton

Loving your work hehe!!!

United Robbed by Ref
Manchester United were robbed by the referee in the first leg of their semi final at the City of Manchester last night. Unbelievably, the referee, who cannot be named for legal reason due to an impending lawsuit from the Trafford club, allowed 4 perfectly good goals to stand much to the anger of United manager Demento ...

"Nothing between the legs"

After a comfortable win in their home leg, City can look forward to a weekend off and a bye to the final after several Scum players failed a random post match gender test.

"Nothing between the legs"

After a comfortable win in their home leg, City can look forward to a weekend off and a bye to the final after several Scum players failed a random post match gender test.

Diggerman wrote:"Uni*ed dicked all over the park as true gulf in class shows what a bunch of gypsy twats Sir Bacon has to contend with each day"

ha ha how much wouldn't i pay for that paper!

Oh my..

Rags to Riches

The soon-to-be-bankrupt United squad were unable to afford addmission to the ground forcing them to abandon the match, the richest club in the world wins in a walkover. United Manager Sir Alex was seen panhandling at the nearby Tesco for loose change to purchase tickets (and for some reason a hairdryer). He left in tears after being being mistaken by several people for an out-of-work Mark Hughes begging for scraps of meat.

Tempers soar as temperatures plunge in derby grudge match
Sir Alex Ferguson was left so incensed and enraged at full time at the City of Manchester Stadium that he could have melted the snow with this stare alone.

The heat was turned up in the 10th minute when Paul Scholes, famous for this tackling ability, lunged in 25 yards out of his own box. Whilst everyone in the ground was expecting nothing more than a yellow, Mike Dean had other ideas and sent him off for violent conduct.

The resulting freekick added insult to injury as Tevez curled the ball over the top of the wall and past the floundering dive of Ben Foster. Tevez ran to the North Stand and proceeded do his now customary "dance" celebration. All this went unnoticed by Ferguson as he was still assaulting fourth official Clattenburg. It was left to Mike Phelan to give the bad news that United were 1 nil down.

The second half burst into life on 76 minutes, a wonderful flowing move by City cut apart United's shaky defence with Barry provding the perfect final ball for Tevez to run onto and smash it into the roof of the net from 8 yards out.

As 6000 United supporters looked on at their former hero shaking his booty right in front of them all that could be heared ringing in their ears was 36,000 delirious City fans singing "Fergie Sign Him Up, Fergie, Fergie Sign Him Up" at such a volume that the snow was shaken from the roof!

A bad tempered game was coming to its conclusion with the United players outclassed in midfield and resorting to kicking tactics the biggest controversy of the night unfolded. Clattenburg put the board up and a considerable groan went around the ground as a quite frankly bizarre 7 minutes of injury time now dubbed FergieTime was to be played.

However, United, as shadow of their former self, could not muster up a single attack in injury time - instead the glory fell to one Carlos Tevez. 6 minutes and 30 seconds into stoppage time the diminutive Argentinean robbed Fletcher 20 yards into his own half and went on a searing run past Carrick and Valenica. A lovely timed one-two with Bellamy around Wes Brown and Tevez was through on goal. A delightful lob over Foster ended the perfect night for Tevez and Manchester City.

However, their could be repercussions for the Eastlands outfit from the FA in similar vein to Adebayor incident against Arsenal. After scoring Tevez raced half the length of the pitch and into the Manchester United technical area and screamed in the face of Ferguson from less than 6 inches away. In shock, the aging manager slipped on ice and feel over. Roberto Mancini helped Sir Alex back to his feet by extending his scarf to the floor.

In the post match interview when questioned about what was said to Ferguson Tevez simply replied "Que?"

So I wished would happen very, very, very much :-)