As the bible fortells

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As the bible fortells

Postby coxy » Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:17 pm

I would love to take the credit for this but it was penned by Ian Barton from the west yorkshire branch,enjoy.
Since there is all this slashing of wrists on the other side I’ve composed an epitaph for them And the prophet SAF did lead the ManU out of the wilderness to reside in splendour in the land of Old. For 20 years the SKY god did favour them above all others with gold and they did feast on the prawns, and they grew greedy and fat. And foreign suitors came to worship in shirts of many colours and the seasons were not enough to satisfy there greed. Behold the people of the An field the Eastlands, the Bridge and the Emirates did grieve. But arrogance and greed did overcome the ManU as there warriors grew old and feeble the riches were squandered on turkeys. And the SAF not liking turkey desired a sacred cow and enticed the Berber from the Lane of the Spuds with promises of wealth and glory and the Levy did take the shekels for old rope and was pleased.

Then out of the east came Princes of the desert to the Eastlands and they saw the Manc and said you are the Manc and the only Manc and a chosen people who have suffered greatly in your loyalty and bestowed them with riches beyond measure and it was without interest and it was good. Slowly the lands that had been oppressed and ridiculed began to rise again and the ManU did smell the coffee. From the distant west the Nomads of the Glazer did covet the wealth of the Old and so it came to pass that there harvest was claimed and famine did descend and the SAF did have his magic rug yanked away. Verily there sons began to forsake there blighted Old. The magic pony desired to become Real and it did happen and the mighty TeVez grew weary of being out in the cold and wanted to become a Manc and the Eastlands did grow in power.

So the Prophet SAF misplaced the plot by entrusting the safety of the Old to the Wes the Nani and r son and they were found wanting and he took sanctuary in the wine and all the ManU did suffer. Alone and unsure the Berber did endlessly wander the swamp of the Old seeking the pass of killer but it was always beyond him and he was unable to find it in the dark side. So the SAF declared that all should be oppressed and did travel to the turf moor with his hoard but he was sorely vexed and there defences were breached and there asses were whipped and kicked. Then in great anger he desired that the Villa, the Craven Cottage An the field would be scored over but once again they were found wanting and more asses were kicked. With wisdom the desert princes did grace a new leader for the Manc who was not clueless and did not speak in the tongue of the Manc but was learned in the tactics of warriors and he should be a Manc ini. And the Princes commanded that he should lead the Manc and conquer all before and smite the ManU as they are unworthy Shiites. So they did smite the Wolves and the Rovers and cleanse the riverside and plan for the future. Descending once again from the west came the Glazer demanding more gold, discarding their hoards of silverware as worthless and fear did envelope the ManU that the sacred Roo would be sold into bondage and wailing was heard as grannies feared for going without. Fear did paralyse the ManU and unsure in the old dispensation journeys to the e wood and the west of ham did strike terror and they were feared of St Andrew.

Even the men of the long throw-in were unafraid because the time was over and there was nought added on. So it came to pass that the land of the Old became the land of Owe and descended into ruin and the Eastland’s did rejoice. Great joy was unbound when it did occur that the League of the Champions would no longer accept them among there ranks as there flush was busted and there trophies of war were lost in the past and there debt was such that no new warriors could be found to bail out the swamp. So the SAF did descend to the bottle haunted by the Barca and plagued by his Neville fool and his stories of the goat. Verily the last remnants’ of the ManU did foresake the Old to wander for ever to new miseries amongst the wanderers in the lower lands plagued by wolves, tigers and the black cats. And the waters did rise and the world became blue.
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Re: As the bible fortells

Postby ENIAM NAM » Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:26 pm

He obviously has too much time on his hands!!
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Re: As the bible fortells

Postby lythamblue » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:06 pm

That is one of the funniest things i have read in a long time!
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