this is funny....well, it made me laugh! (see also the letter from today's Fiver at the bottom)
"High Society" Gary NevilleTHE INDUSTRIAL SLUMS OF BURYDespite the best attempts of Sir Alex Ferguson, Fingergate rumbles on like Mahatma Gandhi's stomach at the end of a hunger strike. The Manchester United manager struggled even more than usual to hide his irritation upon being asked about Gary Neville's spat with Carlos Tevez during his press conference today, adopting the confrontational forward-lean-with-hands-under-table pose instead of the more relaxed back-lean-with-hands-clasped-behind-head pose that generally signifies he's in a mood that's not so much good as less bad than usual.
"I'm no interested," he och-ayed wearily, rolling his eyes so far towards the heavens that they did a full 360-degree revolution in his skull. "[Tevez] is not our player anymore so I've nothing to say about it ... at all. Players argue with each other ... time and time again and it's not an issue for us." While Tevez's baiting of Neville, the one-fingered salute that greeted it and the Argentinian's subsequent description of his former team-mate as a "boot licker" and "a moron" may not be a big deal to Fergie, the Argentinian press have read rather a lot into it. One columnist, presumably Argentina's answer to Polly Toynbee, felt moved to declare that Tevez is "the prototype of the struggle against class inequality", which explained his gesture towards "high society Gary Neville".
Now far be it from the Fiver to tar all Argentinian columnists with the same brush, but is it really conceivable that there are people in Buenos Aires who believe that, when he's not jogging sideways up and down the sideline at Premier League grounds, Neville strides manfully from wing to wing of Neville Hall in a top hat and tails, white gloves and a monocle, savagely beating insolent servants with his silver-tipped cane? OK, so Tevez had a tough upbringing in the Barrio Ejército de los Andes, but compared to that endured by Neville in the industrial slums of Bury, his must have been an idyllic childhood.
Meanwhile at Eastlands, Roberto Mancini has also drawn a line under Fingergate, saying: "I think these things can sometimes happen after a match. The players are tired and sometimes they do not think what they are saying. It is important that this matter is finished now, as we need to focus on our next game." Sadly Tevez will sit out City's FA Cup game against Firewall FC on Sunday, in order to seethe ahead of the increasingly mouthwatering return leg of Lord Snooty v the Riff-Raff in the Struggle Against Class Inequality Cup next week.
"Re: Neville having a harder upbringing than Tevez (Friday's Fiver); I totally agree, unless Carlos's father is called Martin Martinez, the sons of Neville Neville must have endured a far worse time in their school playgrounds" - Sam Thomas.