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THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:26 am
by john68
We've all had them...the guy (or woman) near you who was a complete plank., who knew nothing about football, often nothing about City and ensured everyone around him found out how stupid he was.

Tonight I was blessed with the company of one such numpty who continuously complained that we were playing too narrow and all we had to do was play the ball wide, run at the Bolton defence and hey presto....we would score tons of goals...easy peasy.
He even pointed out that we had done it to good effect during the game, which sort of contradicted his rantings.
The funny bit was that he complained about this whilst on the pitch Jinky was going down the chalk and passing the Bolton defenders.
His eyes must have seen this happening but his brain failed to compute it.

He also loudly complained about Vieira...every time he touched the ball. Calling him an old C**T. There was never any mention of anything positive about his play, nor of the fabulous pass for Ade's goal.

Mancini was the butt of most of his ridicule and it reminded me of the early nonsense about Hughes.

WHO HAVE YOU HAD AS A NUMPTY NEIGHBOUR AT A MATCH?

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 4:22 am
by HeyMark
I had Original Dub as a neighbour during the Wolves match although I didnt realise until afterwards. What a tool he is!

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 5:56 am
by Niall Quinns Discopants
john68 wrote:We've all had them...the guy (or woman) near you who was a complete plank., who knew nothing about football, often nothing about City and ensured everyone around him found out how stupid he was.

Tonight I was blessed with the company of one such numpty who continuously complained that we were playing too narrow and all we had to do was play the ball wide, run at the Bolton defence and hey presto....we would score tons of goals...easy peasy.
He even pointed out that we had done it to good effect during the game, which sort of contradicted his rantings.
The funny bit was that he complained about this whilst on the pitch Jinky was going down the chalk and passing the Bolton defenders.
His eyes must have seen this happening but his brain failed to compute it.

He also loudly complained about Vieira...every time he touched the ball. Calling him an old C**T. There was never any mention of anything positive about his play, nor of the fabulous pass for Ade's goal.

Mancini was the butt of most of his ridicule and it reminded me of the early nonsense about Hughes.

WHO HAVE YOU HAD AS A NUMPTY NEIGHBOUR AT A MATCH?


That sounds like official match thread.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 6:42 am
by irblinx
We moved seats this season to avoid an arsehole that sat behind us and continually slagged all our players, used to start before kick off and had a really annoying voice. I was in serious danger of giving him a slap. Unfortunately the new seats have an even worse clown in the row behind, this guy knows frighteningly little about the game, slagged all the players off and must have extremely poor eyesight as he's constantly slagging the wrong player! Last night was an almost constant stream of "get him off, he's not a player", De Jong and Barry getting most of it!

I've come to the conclusion that we have a hell of a lot of negative idiots and that moving seats is pointless as you'll just end up with another one of them, I have also found that they are mostly old and particularly loud mouthed

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:36 am
by btajim
I've always preferred sitting around Seasoncard Holders because you're generally in with a chance of being in the company of people who watch City week in week out as opposed to some random.

I can't think of any particular moron but I've been next to someone who spent more time watching the Away Fans than he did the Match.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:44 am
by Alex Sapphire
happens a lot and as Antii says is just like this board on matchday.
I always take pleasure from praising the players they're slagging just as loud when they do something positive (these guys never see the positive so need it pointing out). If that fails I find a great big guffaw every time they comment helps.
Last resort, slip a mickey in his bovril.
The natural reaction is not advised as the stewards will turf you both out

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:50 am
by Buffalo Soldier
john68 wrote:We've all had them...the guy (or woman) near you who was a complete plank., who knew nothing about football, often nothing about City and ensured everyone around him found out how stupid he was.

Tonight I was blessed with the company of one such numpty who continuously complained that we were playing too narrow and all we had to do was play the ball wide, run at the Bolton defence and hey presto....we would score tons of goals...easy peasy.
He even pointed out that we had done it to good effect during the game, which sort of contradicted his rantings.
The funny bit was that he complained about this whilst on the pitch Jinky was going down the chalk and passing the Bolton defenders.
His eyes must have seen this happening but his brain failed to compute it.

He also loudly complained about Vieira...every time he touched the ball. Calling him an old C**T. There was never any mention of anything positive about his play, nor of the fabulous pass for Ade's goal.

Mancini was the butt of most of his ridicule and it reminded me of the early nonsense about Hughes.

WHO HAVE YOU HAD AS A NUMPTY NEIGHBOUR AT A MATCH?


Dont suppose you were sat in block 102 of the east stand were you John? If so then I know exactly who you're on about because he has sat in the row behind me for the last 10 years and it's the same EVERY single game.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:53 am
by Nickyboy
think i'm quite lucky - generally good crowd around me.

two brothers behind me are hillarious and when they do give players a bit of stick for a mistake its usually mixed in with a comical comment to difuse it.

there are a couple around who like a good whinge - but nothing bordering on 'abuse'.

The guy directly to my right constantly shouts abuse at the ref - and half the time i don't understand what he means....

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:56 am
by Niall Quinns Discopants
Buffalo Soldier wrote:
john68 wrote:We've all had them...the guy (or woman) near you who was a complete plank., who knew nothing about football, often nothing about City and ensured everyone around him found out how stupid he was.

Tonight I was blessed with the company of one such numpty who continuously complained that we were playing too narrow and all we had to do was play the ball wide, run at the Bolton defence and hey presto....we would score tons of goals...easy peasy.
He even pointed out that we had done it to good effect during the game, which sort of contradicted his rantings.
The funny bit was that he complained about this whilst on the pitch Jinky was going down the chalk and passing the Bolton defenders.
His eyes must have seen this happening but his brain failed to compute it.

He also loudly complained about Vieira...every time he touched the ball. Calling him an old C**T. There was never any mention of anything positive about his play, nor of the fabulous pass for Ade's goal.

Mancini was the butt of most of his ridicule and it reminded me of the early nonsense about Hughes.

WHO HAVE YOU HAD AS A NUMPTY NEIGHBOUR AT A MATCH?


Dont suppose you were sat in block 102 of the east stand were you John? If so then I know exactly who you're on about because [strike]he has sat in the row behind me for the last 10 years and it's the same EVERY single game[/strike] it's me you are talking about.


Nice one.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:00 am
by ant london
There are some proper cocks you have to suffer sometimes but, on the flip side, I have had some fucking hilarious folk near me over the years.

I remember once when I took my ex to Maine Road for her first visit. She was a bit of a princess so took her in the Main Stand and we were sat in front of these two jewish lads who were priceless.....non stop comedy for 90 minutes. Goater got a hat trick and one of them went from saying at the start that he was the worst striker he'd ever seen to claiming he had a lifesize poster of him on the back of his bedroom door....with all points in between. It was comedy gold

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:35 am
by Kladze
During the Steve Lomas with hunt days I went with my younger brother to a game, against Pompey if memory serves me right.
Only about 5 minutes had passed when a pass went astray and my bro piped up (loudly) "Fuck off Lomas!"

Lomas was sat on the bench - it was a priceless moment.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:34 pm
by john68
Buff,
Hahahahahaha...SPOT ON MATE.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 1:24 pm
by pepsi_dave
Turns out I was the Numpty last night, after the first few minutes when those inbred lot started singing about bridges "Wife", I responded by shouting back at them "There's only one Gary Cahill", and followed it up by "Where the fuck is he"..... at this point I must stress that in my mind, all I knew was, he was injured... it was only after a few people told me I was in the wrong, and I had asked why, that I realised what his injury actually was...... ooops!

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:12 pm
by simon12
I`ve got 2, 2 rows behind me and no matter who the manager is whoever is on the bench is a real footballer and they need to be on cos the wrong team started. Even when the subs come on...it`s the wrong sub!! never the player EVER. Singers for me next season.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:35 pm
by BetaManchester
"Get Bellamy on" was the worst I heard last night. And although I agree with playing Johnson on the left he DID create the pen from the RIGHT so Mancini's move did pay off.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:40 pm
by Mase
The only thing that used to do my head in was one guy who used to bring everyone's nationality in to it.
"Dunne you Irish twat, play the ball forward!"
"Hughes you Welsh prick bring ....... on!"

Funny how he never said anything about SWP or Micah.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:50 pm
by Alex Sapphire
MaseCTID wrote:The only thing that used to do my head in was one guy who used to bring everyone's nationality in to it.
"Dunne you Irish twat, play the ball forward!"
"Hughes you Welsh prick bring ....... on!"

Funny how he never said anything about SWP or Micah.


pair of English bastards

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:52 pm
by Mase
Alex Sapphire wrote:
MaseCTID wrote:The only thing that used to do my head in was one guy who used to bring everyone's nationality in to it.
"Dunne you Irish twat, play the ball forward!"
"Hughes you Welsh prick bring ....... on!"

Funny how he never said anything about SWP or Micah.


pair of English bastards


That's what I thought. Didn't want to say anything though.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:14 pm
by Goataldo
I used to sit in front of a guy who sprayed at least a quarter of a pint of alco-drizzle over the back of my head every time he ranted, which was about every five minutes. So glad to move from that. Needless to say the guy was a nob.

Re: THE GUY NEAR ME

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:21 pm
by Im_Spartacus
uwe's_skyblue_duvet wrote:I used to sit in front of a guy who sprayed at least a quarter of a pint of alco-drizzle over the back of my head every time he ranted, which was about every five minutes. So glad to move from that. Needless to say the guy was a nob.



Would a stern talking to followed by a crack for non-compliance not have sorted it.

Fucking hate those pricks who sit around you spouting off, and just talking nonesense. I dont mean nonesense like giving the manager or players shit, but those dicks who scream at every decision given against us when it is clearly a foul/offside/handball etc.

There are some of them on here, I am certain