Monday's B*ll*x

[Chinners]

FORMER Everton defender Joleon Lescott is set to miss Manchester City’s game against his former club on Wednesday after suffering a hamstring injury and will have a scan to determine the extent of the problem manager Roberto Mancini has confirmed.
Lescott – who was also injured for City’s 2-0 defeat at Goodison Park in January – picked up the problem during the warm-up of the 2-1 Premier League win at Fulham and is the latest player to give Fabio Capello a fitness scare.
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Manchester City fans are considering erecting their own counter within their stadium to monitor the rising debt for their cross town neighbours. The Old Trafford club famously has a counter for each year that City go without a trophy, whereas the City one is expected to be updated on a weekly basis.

Buy British if managerial merry-go-round goes into overdrive bollox
It is not beyond football's mad parameters to forecast regime change at Chelsea, Manchester City and Liverpool during the summer audit.
You never know, another Champions-Premier League double could persuade Sir Alex Ferguson that his work is done at Manchester United.
How long before a British manager is called to fill the next vacancy at the top of the English club game? Jose Mourinho can't manage them all. Besides the myth of the foreign guru is eroding.
With the obvious exceptions of Arsène Wenger and Mourinho, imported expertise appears no better than the domestic alternative. Carlo Ancelotti is roasted by Roman Abramovich and Roberto Mancini's stock dives at Manchester City with every point surrendered.
English success in European club football has gradually downgraded the idea of continental superiority in all aspects of the game. Wayne Rooney has bulldozed the upper echelon of world-ranked players achieving a notional rating higher than any Brazilian. Fancy that. Only the lack of an elite platform, Sir Alex apart, denies British coaches wider visibility abroad.
Roy Hodgson, a poster boy at 63, comes close. He was an outstanding operator before Fulham beat Juventus. The Europa League win lifted him into the glamour slot that his inventive, day-in, day-out husbandry by the Thames does not warrant.
There are others like him. They have one thing in common. They carry a British passport. Hodgson sits in a beautiful bracket that frames seventh to 10th places in the Premier League and includes default standard bearers Martin O'Neill and David Moyes.
Also in the group of four is Alex McLeish, who despite Saturday's reverse at Sunderland, has steered Birmingham into eighth place through nimble midfield feet and pace up front.
The point about midfield geometry is not made lightly. The Birmingham aesthetic – no longer a contradiction – approximates to an orange template that goes by the name of total football.
McLeish cannot call on a Cruyff, a Neeskens or a Krol, but those he does have, marshalled by Rangers exile Barry Ferguson, know how to keep the ball on the deck.
O'Neill and Moyes are established members of the management aristocracy. The latter has shortened Everton's game, recorded wins over Chelsea and Manchester United at Goodison Park and chased Chelsea and Arsenal around their London fields sharing six goals on each occasion.
O'Neill, too, is less inclined to the style book's longer version the better his Aston Villa team becomes. Someone up there is staging an audition.
This week's fixture list sees Moyes take on Mancini in Manchester on Wednesday and on Saturday McLeish hosts Wenger and O'Neill occupies Mourinho's seat against Ancelotti at Stamford Bridge.
The usual impediments are placed before our boys, bigger squads and deeper pockets. My guess is that neither Arsenal, Chelsea nor Manchester City would be overly diminished by association with any of the British quartet above.
The British beauty contest must include Harry Redknapp, a man of deep footballing intelligence who might have been appointed at White Hart Lane earlier, were it not for a foreign fad that saw greater merit in the exotic nomenclature of Jacques Santini, Martin Jol and Juande Ramos.
At least Jol could speak a language that his players understood. Whatever ideas Ramos might have had were locked beneath a tongue that could not express itself. The Spaniard was demonstrably out of his depth and had to go.
That is not the case with others presently answering to overbearing owners. Ancelotti is asked to justify himself following Chelsea's Champions League exit to Inter Milan, which is absurd.
The reaction of Abramovich to that defeat can be attributed to hysteria on the part of an omnipotent owner whose judgment is warped by status, ignorance and disappointment.
It was in this withered mental state that he laid into Ancelotti last Thursday, holding him accountable for the humiliation orchestrated by Mourinho. No fault attached to Abramovich, of course, for appointing Ancelotti, or Luiz Felipe Scolari in the first place.
Another Rasputin brought in from overseas to marshal the mysterious arts of continental success, Mancini, found himself similarly assailed the moment balls began collecting in the Manchester City net.
Two wins in four days, albeit against Portsmouth and Lille, eased the lot of Rafael Benítez,, who is spared persistent harassment by a punitive clause in his contract that will reportedly clobber Liverpool's owners for £16 million within 24 hours of his removal.
It is not for us to pick apart the lunacy of intolerant owners, only to recognise its force. Mourinho tops any sane shopping list should heads roll. Beyond him there is no outstanding candidate. Jurgen Klinsmann? He would not get a reference from Bayern Munich. Laurent Blanc? Fine player and shaping up well at Bordeaux, but not proven.

TRANSFER BOLLOX
Barcelona President Juan Laporta claims Lionel Messi is the "best player in the history of football" after the Argentine forward's hat-trick against Real Zaragoza. IMScouting

Arsenal striker Robin van Persie has told Dutch television he is now "medically fit" and will return to training this week following his long injury lay-off. IMScouting

Midfielder Joe Cole, 28, will be the first victim of a "purge of older players" at Chelsea now that their Champions League dream has ended for another season.The Times

Birmingham manager Alex McLeish concedes a move for Tottenham striker Roman Pavlyuchenko has been shelved because of the ­striker's red-hot form. Daily Mirror

Derby boss Nigel Clough wants to sign former Rams striker Tommy Smith from crisis-club Portsmouth on loan for the rest of the season.Daily Mirror

Blackburn are keen on 24-year-old Egyptian playmaker Shikabala. Daily Mail

Roma and Celtic are lining up to swoop for Portsmouth full-back Nadi Belhadj, thought to be available for £2m. Daily Mail
OTHER BOLLOX
Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney raised concerns over his fitness as he limped away from Old Trafford after his side's 2-1 victory over Liverpool.Daily Mail

Wigan manager Roberto Martinez has hit out at England boss Fabio Capello for not looking to keeper Chris Kirkland. Daily Mail

West Ham boss Gianfranco Zola paid Arsenal the ultimate tribute by claiming they are a better footballing team than his beloved Chelsea. Daily Mirror

Lionel Messi underlined the Champions League task Arsenal face with a hat-trick in Barcelona's 4-2 away win over Real Zaragoza - but Manchester United fans may take heart from Bayern Munich's 2-1 defeat by Eintracht Frankfurt, the former's first Bundesliga loss in 20 games. The Times

If England reach the 2010 World Cup final, fans watching them go all the way could pay as much as £6,400 - or £3,000 just to see one group game.The Sun

A band of 180 Rochdale fans walked the 14 miles to see their side face Accrington Stanley on Saturday, to be rewarded with six goals and two sendings-off in a 4-2 victory. Daily Mail

Reading's Matthew Mills, under fire having gestured obscenely at a section of the club's own supporters in their midweek victory over QPR, vaulted advertising boards to hand his shirt to fans as a peace offering after their 1-1 draw at Middlesbrough. Daily Expres)