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Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 3:48 pm
by guv111
Right. I went and did my weekly shop at 9am after getting up at 6.45 and drinking coffee for two hours.

I then went for a bike-and-pub outing between 10am and getting home at about 2.30pm.

So, now I'm a bit pissed (hic!) and have got some rather jolly music blaring.



What do I do for the next THREE hours, then?

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 3:50 pm
by john68
Start with your fingernails and work your way up towards the elbow....repeat other arm

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 3:51 pm
by lets all have a disco
Ohhhhh it's a hard life eh?

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 3:51 pm
by Mike J
crack one out.

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 3:52 pm
by guv111
lets all have a disco wrote:Ohhhhh it's a hard life eh?


THREE hours!!!!!

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:06 pm
by Scatman
three hours is two lots of 90 minutes. I'd start with the 5-1 then maybe the 4-3.

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:08 pm
by Kyle
You can try chugging a bottle of nyquil and see if you can jack off before you fall asleep...

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:09 pm
by Fidel Castro
I wasn't nervous at all all morning and afternoon, hardly thinking about the game really. Palpatations have just set in now though so think I'll just start getting a bit pissed before heading off to town

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:18 pm
by guv111
Fidel Castro wrote:I wasn't nervous at all all morning and afternoon, hardly thinking about the game really. Palpatations have just set in now though so think I'll just start getting a bit pissed before heading off to town


Sounds good.

Unfortunately, most of the others have suggested masturbation, and I'm now at the "tears" stage (seriously)...

Boo Hoo!

Hic.

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:20 pm
by The Man In Blue
greenage mate.

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:22 pm
by Original Dub
I'm heading down to get drink now and I'll be drinking on my own, so while I'm not pissed already like you, I was wondering what way to tackle the waiting...

Cracking one off wouldn't kill much time, nor would a shit.

Order a take away mate and by the time that arrives, you've eaten it and you get over it, you'll be right to start throwing more drink into you for an hour before kick off.

Food is a bastard to get over mid session, but it slows you down nicely and gives you second wind after a little while.

Either that or have a fist fight with some cunt. That always sobers drunk folk out :)

Re: Your tips, please

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:31 pm
by guv111
Original Dub wrote:I'm heading down to get drink now and I'll be drinking on my own, so while I'm not pissed already like you, I was wondering what way to tackle the waiting...

Cracking one off wouldn't kill much time, nor would a shit.

Order a take away mate and by the time that arrives, you've eaten it and you get over it, you'll be right to start throwing more drink into you for an hour before kick off.

Food is a bastard to get over mid session, but it slows you down nicely and gives you second wind after a little while.

Either that or have a fist fight with some cunt. That always sobers drunk folk out :)


Due to having become a fat bastard of late, food is out. Diet for me. Anyway, waiting for food would surely have given me something else to worry about? - Will he find the house? - Will he NOT find the house and give it to someone else? - Will he eat it himself? -

Gah! That's another 15 minutes killed.


Maybe I should start posting in Off Topic? I do fancy a fight. GRRR!!!! See?