In a dramatic twist Manchester City players have issued a statement today demanding the club get rid of the oil riches of Abu Dhabi owner and get back to 'something realistic'. The collective statement was delivered in Spanish by Carlos Tevez at his home in Buenas Aires at 04.00 this morning. Roque Santa Cruz and Jo were present via Skype to lend their support to the statement which went on to say that players couldn't concentrate on football due to the ridiculous wages they were receiving and believed the problem lay right at the top. All the players have agreed to give back their excess earnings in order to take them back to a level comparable with players at Stoke, saying that the need to earn cash week in week out is a necessary demand to ensure performances on the pitch.
While welcoming the fact that the pies were now 30% bigger and this was helping speed up Micheal Johnson's recovery, the players still claimed that overall they had to sacrifice this benefit in order to 'get real'.
What will now ensue at the rollercoaster club is 'anyone's guess' it is believed was mumbled by Tevez's baby daughter while eating a larger than normal pie.
No-one at City was available for comment this morning, but this reporter managed to track down back room staffer Marco Pierre-White, who said that 'it is true that since injured Micheal and i worked everyday to perfect the size of the pies.. it is a sad day, but i guess we will just have to start all over again, I can accept that large pies at the same price is unsustainable and as symbol of the decadence now overwhelming the club they will have to be chopped, how Micheal will deal with this I really can't say'. Marco went on to say that he already had an idea for a new line of humble pies made with curried boots in Indonesian immigrant style gravy.
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