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I was going to say "imagine the most fucked-up ways the rag bastards can cheat City out of a win", even weirder than a goal in Fergietime or a Frontzeck-Cantona penalty, as a way of exorcising such dire thoughts before they become real. But in the spirit of John68's wish to put all "typical City" stuff away, here's a few things I want for Saturday.

Above all for this to be the game that marks the turning of the tide, when it's plainly seen that it's City who are the best team in the land in all the world, the victory of heaven's blue over satanic red. Then more specifically:

1. City take the game to them like Arsenal did to us at the Emirates. Stun them with two in 15 minutes and shut the baying hordes up.
2. David Silva plays his best game for City, all deft little passes opening them up through the middle.
3. DeJong and Kompany both immense throughout the game, the way Richard Dunne was when he fought through the flu in the win at the swamp a few years ago.
4. Tevez scores a penalty at the Stretford End.
5. Balotelli comes off the bench and scores one more.
6. Only One Neil Young banner unfurled.
7. Surly Alec Ferguson gets so crazed he rants at the linesman and is sent to the stands.
8. Rags streaming out after an hour with "fuck off back to London" in their ears.
9. City supporters singing all the songs from "Uwe, Uwe Rosler" to "we love you grandma."
10. DeJong gets his first goal for City in the 89th minute, runs to the corner flag and blows his nose on it like Mike Doyle.

The red scum cant break down our defences and we break to score 3 or 4 goals thanks to Messrs Silva and Tevez, with Dzeko getting the last of the day.

Tevez
Tevez pen
Yaya right through the lot
Dzeko header

De Jong 30 yard screamer that kills Fletcher on the way into the goal because it goes right through his head.

Three points...

avoidconfusion wrote:De Jong 30 yard screamer that kills Fletcher on the way into the goal because it goes right through his head.

That's fucking ridiculous mate. How could a shot from Dejong be heading goalward?

Because it hits Fletcher on the way! :)

In the fifth minute Silva picks a through ball to Tevez who finds himself one on one with Van der Sar, chips him then takes the ball back and walks it into the open goal; we then stifle all their attempts at finding an equaliser until the 89th minute when a very dodgy penalty gets given to the filth. Rooney steps up confident of putting it past Joe, who instead pulls off a great save making all those plastic fans silent; there's an eerie silence from those red cunts as Kompany picks up the ball from Joe's save and starts our fast counterattack, with Yaya breezing through their midfield, an unstoppable force; he then widens the play on the left to the upcoming Kolarov who puts a beautiful cross in, Dzeko and Vidic battle for it in the air with the Bosnian clearly overjumping the cunt and powerfully heading it into the net for the 2-0.

My only wish is that we DO FUCKING NOT play for a nil nil draw.
Go for the win Bob, if we lose, we lose. Just go for it, we've got the team to murder them.

The 4-3 derby was the best derby ever, shame we lost, but after I didn't feel too bad.

Lets just see guts, hunger and passion.

Jo comes on in the 85th min, the match-day thread is full of pissed off posters who start posting pictures of Sideshow Bob.....90th min and there's a scramble in the rags area where the ball gets through to Jo who puts it in for the winner.

kolorov gets his first kill with a free kick. Please let it be rooney.

My biggest wish for this weekend is that Chelsa/tottenham/arsenal do not win:-)

Anything else for me is a bonus, think we got a great chance to win but it will be another tight game IMO

CuteMancs wrote:Three points...

and Nani & Rooney break a leg.

Jelly & Ice Cream
Bouncy Castle

Mase wrote:Jo comes on in the 85th min, the match-day thread is full of pissed off posters who start posting pictures of Sideshow Bob.....90th min and there's a scramble in the rags area where the ball gets through to Jo who puts it in for the winner.

He would be slagged off even then I suppose.

Three Points and Tevez to get the winner with his 50th

Nothing less than total commitment and effort.

Mase wrote:Jo comes on in the 85th min, the match-day thread is full of pissed off posters who start posting pictures of Sideshow Bob.....90th min and there's a scramble in the rags area where the ball gets through to Jo who puts it in for the winner.

Off his arse.

Controversial sixth minute of injury time winner.

Alioune DVToure wrote:Controversial sixth minute of injury time winner.

Nah, we are better than that... we don't need Fergietime;)

Bingo Lewis wrote:My only wish is that we DO FUCKING NOT play for a nil nil draw.
Go for the win Bob, if we lose, we lose. Just go for it, we've got the team to murder them.

The 4-3 derby was the best derby ever, shame we lost, but after I didn't feel too bad.

Lets just see guts, hunger and passion.

ive never felt more sick after a game than that one. but i was proud of city that day.