Tuesday's B*ll*x (updated)

[Chinners]

Manchester City hope to have Samir Nasri deal tied up by weekend
Arsenal midfielder on brink of move to Manchester while Evra dismisses challenge of neighbours
Manchester City's attempts to lure Samir Nasri to the Etihad stadium could be complete by the end of the week.
The French newspaper L'Equipe reported yesterday that the Arsenal midfielder had already agreed personal terms of £185,000 per week ahead of a prospective move to the Etihad Stadium later this month, and Mancini's disjointed side certainly looked in need of another playmaker at Wembley when they were beaten by Manchester Unietd in the Community Shield.
Arsène Wenger had been reluctant to let Nasri go but the midfielder's contribution in pre-season has suggested that he will not be committed to the club if Arsenal take a £20m gamble on him walking away when he is out of contract next summer. Sources in France suggested that Nasri's package has been in place for some time.

Patrice Evra declared yesterday that United do not even need to consider the threat City might pose to them.
The French full-back echoed Wayne Rooney's comments about United's 3-2 win in the two clubs' first Wembley match for silverware, when he said the "important team" next season would be his own. "We played much better than them, but we did it the Man United way and came back to win it right at the end," Evra said.
"It's too early to say whether it will give us an edge. We just played well. We showed that we are the champions. We don't need to look at City or anyone else. If we want to retain our title, we just have to play the Man United way – and that's what we did.
"I always say I respect every opponent, City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool – anyone. But the most important team will be United. If we play the way we can, we've shown everyone we should win the title. We'll be difficult to beat."

City goalkeeper Joe Hart, 24, who admitted that his side's 2-0 half-time lead was "against the run of play", has signed a new five-year contract keeping him at the club until 2016. "I think we needed a kick up the backside before the season started," he said. "We've done really well this pre-season but we have to learn that we're not quite there yet – but we will be. I don't think we had the right mindset when we came back out [for the second half at Wembley]. I thought we defended a bit deep. It's hard when you're playing against a top-quality side like [United]. They had nothing to lose in the second half."

City captain Vincent Kompany said of Sunday's result: "We were not caught like this last season at all, and at 1-0 or 2-0 up I couldn't see how we would give something away. It's part of this period of pre-season and it's maybe good for us that it's happened now, because now we're focused on Monday [against Swansea in the League] and we're the kind of team that can usually bounce back. On Monday we'll be hungry to go out there and win the game."

Inter Milan prepare bid for wantaway Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez ... zzzzz
Inter Milan are preparing to make a cash offer for Carlos Tevez as City step up their own attempts to bring in Samir Nasri.
Boss Roberto Mancini has made it clear to the Blues board he wants a deal done for Nasri quickly. Reports suggest a deal for the Frenchman could be wrapped up by the weekend.
City are ready to offer Arsenal around £21m for Nasri, who has a year left on his contract and so could leave for nothing next summer, with Mancini determined to strengthen his midfield ahead of City’s Premier League opener at home to Swansea next Monday.
And the Blues boss is also in the market for a winger, with Fiorentina youngster Alessio Cerci still on his radar.
The Blues have made it clear to Inter that they will not budge from their £50m valuation of Tevez, who returned to Carrington yesterday for the first time since stating he wanted to leave the club.
And with Mancini making it clear over the weekend that he is not looking to sign Inter midfielder Wesley Sneijder, any kind of player exchange deal appears out of the question.
The Italians need to sell in order to find the cash to sign Tevez, and their offer is still likely to fall short of the Blues’ price tag. Inter have mooted the possibility of offering either Brazilian full-back Maicon or Cameroon striker Samuel Eto’o in part exchange.
But while Mancini has indicated an interest in Eto’o, the City board are not keen on a swap.
Tevez had been given 21 days off by City following his exertions at the Copa America.
He wore a grey hooded jumper with his name and squad number emblazoned on the front when he arrived at Carrington in a Hummer.
After embracing a security guard, he entered the training complex before taking part in a fitness session for about 20 minutes.
Tevez will continue to train with the first-team squad, unlike outcasts Craig Bellamy, Emmanuel Adebayor and Wayne Bridge.
Blues coach David Platt has indicated that there is an outside chance Tevez could play a part against Swansea

Tottenham will make one last attempt to sign Manchester City striker Emmanuel Adebayor, with boss Harry Redknapp desperate to sign the former Arsenal striker. While, Real Madrid are ready to offer midfielder Fernando Gago to Manchester City in exchange for Adebayor.footie-online

[spoiler][/spoiler]

OTHER BOLLOX
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will look to sign Bolton defender Gary Cahill following Thomas Vermaelen's injury. Metro

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish will make a move for £8m­-rated Birmingham defender Scott Dann. Daily Star

Spurs boss Harry Redknapp's bid to bring Real Madrid midfielder Lassana Diarra to Tottenham has hit a snag in a row over the ex-Chelsea man's £20m price tag. the Sun

Chelsea are facing a battle with big-spending Paris Saint-Germain over Porto wing-back Alvaro Pereira. Daily Mail

Aston Villa and Fulham are preparing to make an offer for Ghana international defender Samuel Inkoom. Daily Mail

West Brom are set to smash their transfer record after Roy Hodgson made a £7m swoop for Reading forward Shane Long. the Sun

Newcastle have been told they will have to stump up £14m if they want to sign Tottenham's Russian striker Roman Pavlyuchenko. Daily Mail

Chelsea-bound striker Romelu Lukaku described Monday as the "most beautiful day of my life" as he arrived to complete his £20m move from Anderlecht. Daily Mail

Joey Barton has expressed his desire to come in from the cold and play for Newcastle this season. Daily Mirror

Arsenal fans have voiced their displeasure at Arsene Wenger's decision to buy "another kid" - 17-year-old Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Daily Mirror

Real Madrid have beaten rivals Barcelona to the signing of a seven-year-old Argentine prodigy. caughtoffside.com

WELSH BOLLOX Pt 238

SO WE are just days away from Swansea City’s mouth watering Premiership debut against Manchester City.And the tantalising prospect is not just about football.
The game will be an heroic David v Goliath battle in which hard work, good planning, skill and above all team spirit and city pride will line up against sheer money power.
Manchester City struck oil in August 2008 when it was bought by The Abu Dhabi United Group for Development and Investment owned by Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, brother of the ruler of Abu Dhabi, the biggest of the United Arab Emirates.
With a family fortune estimated at $1trillion (£555bn) he has made the £11.7bn spending power of Chelsea’s Russian owner Roman Abramovich look like chickenfeed.
On the other hand, Swansea City is 20% owned by local people via the club’s trust and partly owned by the club itself, the local council through a management company and the Ospreys rugby region.
The players still shower alongside the public after training at Llandarcy.
Just a few weeks ago, the loadsamoney Mancunians lashed out £85m in wages, transfer money and add-ons on Sergio Aguero – enough to buy 10 new training centres.
But money does not necessarily bring happiness and all is not rosy at Manchester City’s Etihad Stadium.
Their eccentric £100,000-a-week star Mario Balotelli and their outspoken former talisman, the £200,000-a-week Carlos Tevez have both made it clear that, salaries aside, they do not like living in Manchester.
Poor things.
And the mind-boggling purchase of Aguero is reminiscent of another big Manchester City buy which fell flat, that of Brazilian star Robinho.
Aguero and Robinho are both South American, moving to England from Spanish clubs at a similar age – Robinho was 24 when he signed and Aguero is 23.
If Aguero does not score pretty quickly with that price tag the Manchester rain might not be the only thing falling on his head.
So the pressure is all on super rich Manchester City to bless their new home and its £400m airline sponsorship deal with a win.
The Swans however have shown that success does not come overnight and sometimes you have to build slowly but surely.
And many stars who come to Swansea not only like its magnificent beaches and warm people during their playing days, they often stick around.
Yugoslavian international Dzemal “Jimmy” Hadziabdic who helped Swansea rise to the old First Division has travelled the world coaching the likes of Qatar and, yes, the United Arab Emirates. And he still has his family home in Swansea’s Birchgrove.
Let battle commence.

BOLLOX BOLLOX
Liverpool And Man City Fans Left ‘Screenless’ By Gary Neville
TV repair companies yesterday reported their busiest trading day in over 10 years as shops across Leeds, Liverpool and Manchester were inundated with smashed plasma screens.
One shop owner reported queues around the block and said that it would take weeks, if not years to deal with the backlog.
“I would like to say a big thank you to Sky Sports” said Bill Adams, owner of Plasma Plus in Liverpool“as long as Gary Neville is on TV we’ll never be out of work.”
Official estimates put the number of damaged screens at over 475,000, with one report claiming that Neville’s own wife rang for assistance mid way through the Community Shield match.
Neville, 36 had always been a controversial choice to take over from Andy Gray but assured Sky TV bosses that he would remain impartial at all times.
However viewers jammed complaint lines after just 15 seconds of his appearance as the ex Manchester United fullback called for Manchester City to be docked points for wearing ‘stripey socks’ and claimed that their stand up shirt collars made them look like a ‘bunch of fairies’.
‘It was as if he was talking to a room full of United fans’ complained one viewer, whilst others claimed that the beard like growth around his chin made watching the match in 3D almost impossible.
“It was awful, it looked like a talking rat” said Adam Johnson from Rochdale, “the kids were really looking forward to the game but Neville spoiled everything.”
Neville later angered Manchester City fans by calling Mario Balottelli an embarrassment but one eyewitness said that his off camera behaviour was even worse.
“We had to turn off the sprinkler system because he kept setting fire to Liverpool and City scarves” said one unnamed source “God help him when he does the games at Eastlands or Anfield.”
Ex Liverpool player Jamie Redknapp, Neville’s co-summariser appeared visibly upset as Neville mooned unsuspecting Manchester City fans but later claimed that he had no problem with his co-commentator.
“As far as I’m concerned Gary did a decent job, he got through the game without asking me whether I’d smash the sound technician and that’s good enough for me” said Redknapp.
Sky Sports released a statement apologising for any damage caused and said they were considering putting Mike Summerbee or Jamie Carragher alongside Neville in the interests of impartiality.

[ashton287]

I would have gago as part of an ade deal

[Wooders]

I would have gago as part of an ade deal

I don't know about that - her outfits do my head in and I doubt she's any good at football. She would probably wear a kit made out of meat to make some sort of misguided statement

[bobby brows]

Tuesday's Rumour Mill

Sitting in the charred remains of its King's Cross crawlspace, the Rumour Mill is finding it difficult to concentrate on the peddling of baseless football speculation in the wake of last night's horrors, when we played a lengthy rendition of When the Saints Go Marching In (to the Emirates) on our own trumpet, then treated ourselves to a celebratory brandy and cigar for nailing yesterday's speculation about Southampton tyro Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain going to Arsenal, only to pass out mid-revel and cause our non-fire-resistant, classic double-ended chaise longue in cream regency stripe on mahogany ball and claw legs to ignite.


In Liverpool, it seems Alberto Aquilani's dreams of signing for Milan may also be about to go up in smoke, with the midfielder's agent having declared that the Serie A side have yet to make a concrete offer, despite their vice president Adriano Galliani stating that a bookish-looking Italian international with a touch of the Harry Potters about him is exactly what the club needs.


"The Rossoneri, for now, haven't stepped forward for him," said Franco Zavaglia. "There were the words of Galliano, but no other signal. As a result I can't tell you what kind of offer the club could potentially make for my client – in regards to a loan or a permanent switch. We'll just have to wait."


Sibneft will go head to head with the Qatar Investment Authority in what's likely to be an unseemly cash-soaked scrap, if Daily Mail reports that Chelsea are "facing a battle" with Paris Saint-Germain in the race to sign Porto's Uruguayan wing-back Alvaro Pereira are anything to go by. A first-team staple at the Portuguese club when André Villas-Boas was in charge, Pereira had been valued at £15m, but that's all changed now he's found himself in the enviable position of being coveted by two clubs currently positioning their money-cannons outside the Estádio do Dragão and preparing to fire.


Having made his position at the Bernabéu untenable a couple of weeks ago by telling an ESPN interviewer that Barcelona are not just better than Real Madrid, but one of the best sides in history, Fernando Gago is available to interested parties, despite not having pulled up too many trees during his time in the Spanish capital. The Argentina midfielder did not say anything that isn't true, but Real Madrid fans quickly took to cyberspace to register their disapproval at what they perceived as an outrageous act of treachery by a bitter ingrate, when in fact the interview in question was conducted in a fairly jovial and lighthearted manner.


The upshot is that Senor Gago is now being offered to Manchester City in part exchange for Emmanuel Adebayor, who is diplomacy itself and would obviously never dream of upsetting fans of any club he plays for with disaparaging, ill-advised remarks or, indeed, goal celebrations. Should Gago end up at Eastlands or any other Premier League club, he can at least relax safe in the knowledge that English football fans generally don't take things too seriously and would never waste their time scrutinising the most bland remarks in search of offence where none is intended.

Adebayor is also wanted by Harry Redknapp at Tottenham Hotspur, as is Real Madrid's £20m-rated French international midfielder Lassana Diarra, even if Spurs are reported to be reluctant to shell out that much dosh.


This morning's super soaraway Sun reports that West Bromwich Albion are about to "smash" their transfer record to bring Shane Long to the Hawthorns. One of the Rumour Mill's spies reports that the Reading striker missed training with the Republic of Ireland on Monday to conduct a medical with the Baggies, who are hoping he'll put pen to paper in time for their Premier League opener against Manchester United this Sunday.


And having seen his porous defence ship 15 goals in six admittedly meaningless pre-season friendlies, Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is concerned enough to line up an £8m bid for Scott Dann, whose current club Birmingham City might still be a Premier League side if their 24-year-old centre-half hadn't missed the second half of last season with a twanged hamstring.

[Mikhail Chigorin]

I would have gago as part of an ade deal

I don't know about that - her outfits do my head in and I doubt she's any good at football. She would probably wear a kit made out of meat to make some sort of misguided statement

Surprisingly, she's a half decent keyboard player. Don't think, however, that she's a twenty goals a season striker.

[Slim]

I would have gago as part of an ade deal

I don't know about that - her outfits do my head in and I doubt she's any good at football. She would probably wear a kit made out of meat to make some sort of misguided statement

Surprisingly, she's a half decent keyboard player. Don't think, however, that she's a twenty goals a season striker.

No wonder, she is a defensive midfielder and left footed, something we have been missing.

However my concern is, does she have any pace?

[Tokyo Blue]

Might be useful if we want to up the tempo.