Tuesday's B*ll*x

Man City and Inter Milan 'in Carlos Tevez talks'
Both Milan clubs are keen on signing Manchester City striker Tevez Manchester City have opened talks with Inter Milan over the sale of striker Carlos Tevez.
City have held discussions with AC Milan but are frustrated with the Italian champions' insistence on a loan deal with an option to buy.
Tevez's representatives have yet to hold discussions with Inter and no fee has been agreed for the 27-year-old.
The Argentine prefers a move to AC Milan and his advisors want to finalise a deal before the window closes.
Inter Milan president Massimo Moratti said on Monday: "If you do something you don't do it as a joke but because you think it can be a good operation.
"We've acquired information on how things are going, there's room to act, we'll see if we can do it or not.
"There are still three weeks left. It's not about being optimistic but rather seeing how things are."
Fifth-placed Inter trail leaders AC Milan by 10 points having had a poor start to the Serie A season and the two teams face each other in the league at the weekend.
Tevez has not played for City since they beat Birmingham on 21 September.
City boss Roberto Mancini alleged he refused to come off the substitutes' bench in September's Champions League defeat at Bayern Munich, while the player maintained there had been a misunderstanding.
An internal club investigation concluded that Tevez, who joined City in July 2009, was guilty of five breaches of his contract and he was fined four weeks' wages, reduced to two following intervention from the Professional Footballers' Association.
David Beckham 'wipes nose' with Man City shirt after meeting Mario Balotelli
David Beckham was all smiles when he met Mario Balotelli at the Etihad stadium during Manchester United's 3-2 win over City, but after the polite exchange the 36-year-old seemed to wipe his nose with a Man City shirt.
Beckham is known for his polite nature and respectful attitude so it may have come as a surprise when the former England captain seemed to use a Man City jersey to blow his nostrils.
The LA Galaxy midfielder's son Brooklyn, 12, thrust the shirt into his dad's face, but instead of pushing the top away, Golden Balls smiled and may have taken the chance to quickly clean his nose.
Or maybe we misunderstood and the former Manchester United man was switching his allegiances and now declaring his love for City by kissing their badge?
Either way the move is bound to cause a stir in Manchester, something Becks' new friend Balotelli knows a thing or two about.
Not content with his Christmas shenanigans, the 21-year-old Italian has decided to continue his mischief into the new year.
The former Inter Milan striker recently challenged a Manchester United supporter to a game on a punchball machine, but the City hitman came off second best even though he took a run up to hit the machine.
OTHER BOLLOX
Chelsea and England midfielder Frank Lampard could end his career back at his first club West Ham. Daily Express
Manchester United are considering a move for Olympiakos right-back Vasilis Torosidis. Daily Mail
Owen Coyle's Bolton have made a surprise swoop on neighbours Blackburn for their midfielder Junior Hoilett. Bolton News
Meanwhile, Rovers manager Steve Kean says nothing should be read into the absence of Rovers' in-demand stars in the FA Cup on Saturday - as he looks to add new faces before their match against Fulham this weekend. Lancashire Telegraph
Stoke are giving a trial to Dutch Eredivisie side VVV-Venlo's striker Michael Uchebo, who is known as the Nigerian Peter Crouch. At 6ft 8in, Uchebo is even taller than the England international. Daily Mirror
Arsenal are believed to be planning a move for Chelsea striker Salomon Kalou. talkShiT
Lyon president Jean-Michel Aulas insists play-maker Yoann Gourcuff is going nowhere this month, despite continued speculation linking him with the Gunners. Sky Sports
Midfielder Mario Gotze has dealt a blow to his Premier League suitors by saying he may extend his Borussia Dortmund contract. the Sun
Striker Daniel Sturridge has alerted Premier League rivals as Chelsea stall on securing his long-term future at Stamford Bridge. Daily Mail
Chelsea target Hulk will not force a move away from Porto in the January transfer window - although his agent has hinted that a summer move for less than his £83m release clause could be a possibility. Metro
Tottenham defender William Gallas says he has turned down an offer from Paris Saint-Germain. Daily Mirror
Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho is believed to ready to make a £30m bid for Liverpool striker Luis Suarez. Caught Offside
Manchester United defender Nemanja Vidic is staying put at Old Trafford - and his agent says the chances of him leaving are as likely as Lionel Messi quitting Barcelona. talkSPORT
DFB (German Football Association) general secretary Wolfgang Niersbach is believed to be eager to rebuild bridges with former Germany captain Michael Ballack. The 35-year-old lost his place in Germany's 2010 World Cup squad due to injury and was later informed he was no longer in the plans of manager Joachim Loew. Bild
Former Aston Villa and Bolton defender Jlloyd Samuel has found a new club - in Iran. Daily Mirror
MORE BOLLOX SOON
Both Milan clubs are keen on signing Manchester City striker Tevez Manchester City have opened talks with Inter Milan over the sale of striker Carlos Tevez.
City have held discussions with AC Milan but are frustrated with the Italian champions' insistence on a loan deal with an option to buy.
Tevez's representatives have yet to hold discussions with Inter and no fee has been agreed for the 27-year-old.
The Argentine prefers a move to AC Milan and his advisors want to finalise a deal before the window closes.
Inter Milan president Massimo Moratti said on Monday: "If you do something you don't do it as a joke but because you think it can be a good operation.
"We've acquired information on how things are going, there's room to act, we'll see if we can do it or not.
"There are still three weeks left. It's not about being optimistic but rather seeing how things are."
Fifth-placed Inter trail leaders AC Milan by 10 points having had a poor start to the Serie A season and the two teams face each other in the league at the weekend.
Tevez has not played for City since they beat Birmingham on 21 September.
City boss Roberto Mancini alleged he refused to come off the substitutes' bench in September's Champions League defeat at Bayern Munich, while the player maintained there had been a misunderstanding.
An internal club investigation concluded that Tevez, who joined City in July 2009, was guilty of five breaches of his contract and he was fined four weeks' wages, reduced to two following intervention from the Professional Footballers' Association.
David Beckham 'wipes nose' with Man City shirt after meeting Mario Balotelli
David Beckham was all smiles when he met Mario Balotelli at the Etihad stadium during Manchester United's 3-2 win over City, but after the polite exchange the 36-year-old seemed to wipe his nose with a Man City shirt.
Beckham is known for his polite nature and respectful attitude so it may have come as a surprise when the former England captain seemed to use a Man City jersey to blow his nostrils.
The LA Galaxy midfielder's son Brooklyn, 12, thrust the shirt into his dad's face, but instead of pushing the top away, Golden Balls smiled and may have taken the chance to quickly clean his nose.
Or maybe we misunderstood and the former Manchester United man was switching his allegiances and now declaring his love for City by kissing their badge?
Either way the move is bound to cause a stir in Manchester, something Becks' new friend Balotelli knows a thing or two about.
Not content with his Christmas shenanigans, the 21-year-old Italian has decided to continue his mischief into the new year.
The former Inter Milan striker recently challenged a Manchester United supporter to a game on a punchball machine, but the City hitman came off second best even though he took a run up to hit the machine.
OTHER BOLLOX
Chelsea and England midfielder Frank Lampard could end his career back at his first club West Ham. Daily Express
Manchester United are considering a move for Olympiakos right-back Vasilis Torosidis. Daily Mail
Owen Coyle's Bolton have made a surprise swoop on neighbours Blackburn for their midfielder Junior Hoilett. Bolton News
Meanwhile, Rovers manager Steve Kean says nothing should be read into the absence of Rovers' in-demand stars in the FA Cup on Saturday - as he looks to add new faces before their match against Fulham this weekend. Lancashire Telegraph
Stoke are giving a trial to Dutch Eredivisie side VVV-Venlo's striker Michael Uchebo, who is known as the Nigerian Peter Crouch. At 6ft 8in, Uchebo is even taller than the England international. Daily Mirror
Arsenal are believed to be planning a move for Chelsea striker Salomon Kalou. talkShiT
Lyon president Jean-Michel Aulas insists play-maker Yoann Gourcuff is going nowhere this month, despite continued speculation linking him with the Gunners. Sky Sports
Midfielder Mario Gotze has dealt a blow to his Premier League suitors by saying he may extend his Borussia Dortmund contract. the Sun
Striker Daniel Sturridge has alerted Premier League rivals as Chelsea stall on securing his long-term future at Stamford Bridge. Daily Mail
Chelsea target Hulk will not force a move away from Porto in the January transfer window - although his agent has hinted that a summer move for less than his £83m release clause could be a possibility. Metro
Tottenham defender William Gallas says he has turned down an offer from Paris Saint-Germain. Daily Mirror
Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho is believed to ready to make a £30m bid for Liverpool striker Luis Suarez. Caught Offside
Manchester United defender Nemanja Vidic is staying put at Old Trafford - and his agent says the chances of him leaving are as likely as Lionel Messi quitting Barcelona. talkSPORT
DFB (German Football Association) general secretary Wolfgang Niersbach is believed to be eager to rebuild bridges with former Germany captain Michael Ballack. The 35-year-old lost his place in Germany's 2010 World Cup squad due to injury and was later informed he was no longer in the plans of manager Joachim Loew. Bild
Former Aston Villa and Bolton defender Jlloyd Samuel has found a new club - in Iran. Daily Mirror
MORE BOLLOX SOON