Monday's B*ll*x

[Chinners]

Valencia dreading Tevez winner
You’ll know about squeaky bum timeSmalling: Home is our fortressMan Utd eye £20m-rated WitselFergie hails his United fightersRob laughs off Fergie’s gamesIt is the horror scenario for the red half of a city that is already counting the days to April 30.
That is when the teams lock horns in the season's biggest clash at the Etihad and when the Premier League title will probably be decided.
Like Tevez for City, Valencia has just returned to the United team — and with a similar impact.
His goal at Wolves eight days ago after more injury woes was a stormer, while Tevez's assist for Samir Nasri helped beat Chelsea on Wednesday following his long break.
Valencia continues his comeback against Fulham tonight and is convinced United will win their 20th title. But he cannot stand the thought of Tevez spoiling the party.
He said: "If Carlos plays against us, I'm sure he'll be motivated. He's an excellent player, able to change a match in an instant. What he did against Chelsea was no surprise.
"But for Tevez to score the winner? I hope it doesn't happen.
"And for us to fail and lose the title will bring pain for months. But I'm confident in my team.
"But now we are focused on Fulham because our challenge is to win all our matches and to arrive with an advantage over City on derby day.
"I'm not saying whether that game will decide the title but it's clear the winners will deliver a morale blow to the other club. So I expect a big battle and for us to avenge our 6-1 defeat at Old Trafford."

MUNDANE BOLLOX
Chelsea are planning an £80m bid to snap up Real Madrid pair Cristiano Ronaldo and Gonzalo Higuain. Owner Roman Abramovich is also considering an £58.5m move for Napoli duo Edinson Cavani and Ezequiel Lavezzi. Daily Telegraph

The Blues are ready to take on Tottenham in the race to lure the highly sought-after Eden Hazard away from French club Lille this summer, with Arsenal, Manchester United and Manchester City also keen on the 21-year-old Belgium international. Metro

Martin Jol has revealed he may have to sell Fulham's best players in the summer - but insists he can find the right young replacements to fill their places. Daily Mirror

Norwich manager Paul Lambert is ready to make a bid for Nottingham Forest pair Chris Gunter and Garath McCleary as he looks to build on the Canaries' impressive Premier League form next season. Daily Mirror

PSV Eindhoven winger Dries Mertens is set to snub interest from Liverpool and head to Bayern Munich instead. The Sun

Former Wolves manager Mick McCarthy is not ruling out a dramatic return to Molineux this season to help his former charges beat the drop. talkShite

England could have one of their lowest followings at a major tournament at Euro 2012 as high costs deter fans from a trip to Ukraine and Poland. Daily Mirror

Rio Ferdinand may be set for a new contract at Manchester United as he overcomes injury problems to return to form for Sir Alex Ferguson's title-chasers. The Times

The deal could see 33-year-old Ferdinand take a £50,000-a-week wage cut. Daily Telegraph

Watching from his hospital bed, Fabrice Muamba saw his Bolton team-mates beat Blackburn Rovers from a recording of Match of the Day on Sunday. Daily Mirror

Winger Scott Sinclair has pledged his future to Swansea despite being linked to Liverpool. Daily Mirror

Everton captain Phil Neville believes his time with the Toffees will be a failure if they do not win a trophy as David Moyes's side prepare for their FA Cup quarter-final replay against Sunderland on Tuesday. Daily Mail

In Brazil they have found a different way to deal with players abusing match officials after a police dog bit Caxias forward Vanderlei on the leg. The striker and his team-mates harassed the assistant referee for overturning a decision to disallow a goal against them. Metro

more bollox later ....

[Nigels Tackle]

tevez scoring a fergie time winner to send us 6 clear with 2 to play is, for me, the dream ending to the game at the end of next month. i think that it would institutionalise baconface.

[Esky]

England could have one of their lowest followings at a major tournament at Euro 2012 as high costs deter fans from a trip to Ukraine and Poland. Daily Mirror

You'd think playing the tournament in two of Europe's cheaper countries would stem that somewhat.

Whatever happens on April 30, I just hope we're not 4-6 points behind going into it. Do not want them winning it at the Etihad.

[Tokyo Blue]

tevez scoring a fergie time winner to send us 6 clear with 2 to play is, for me, the dream ending to the game at the end of next month. i think that it would institutionalise baconface.

I'd prefer it to be 7 points but otherwise yes.

[Blue Since 76]

Ronaldo and Higuain for £80m? That prices Ronaldo at about Torres and a flat in Chelsea. Good luck with that bid.

[Ted Hughes]

Valencia hasn't read the script properly there has he ?

He's supposed to say "even if Tevez was to score the winner there, we will still win the league because of our experience "

Ferguson will be annoyed. Get Wio tweeting quick.

[Nigels Tackle]

Ronaldo and Higuain for £80m? That prices Ronaldo at about Torres and a flat in Chelsea. Good luck with that bid.

chelsea have got no chance.

juve will be signing those 2 along with

messi, robben, ribery, cavani, hamsek, iniesta, kompany, hart etc....

[avoidconfusion]

There is absolutely no way Chelsea can afford to spend that much money on players anymore, not with the Financial Fairplay bollocks taking effect now and not with the insane losses they still make year in year out.

[Blue Since 76]

chelsea have got no chance.

juve will be signing those 2 along with

messi, robben, ribery, cavani, hamsek, iniesta, kompany, hart etc....

They'll have to fight it out with Milan, who've already put in an offer to take Messi on loan, providing Barca continue to pay his wages.

[one man army]

England could have one of their lowest followings at a major tournament at Euro 2012 as high costs deter fans from a trip to Ukraine and Poland. Daily Mirror

You'd think playing the tournament in two of Europe's cheaper countries would stem that somewhat.

poland is not that cheap anymore, believe me.

[craigmcfc]

You know what would make your bollox less mundane Chinners?

[Goaters 103]

chelsea have got no chance.

juve will be signing those 2 along with

messi, robben, ribery, cavani, hamsek, iniesta, kompany, hart etc....

They'll have to fight it out with Milan, who've already put in an offer to take Messi on loan, providing Barca continue to pay his wages.

Its true, I saw a pic of Galliani hugging a Lionel Messi photo and stating he is confident Barca will agree to a loan deal, and that Milan are now prepared to pay 5% of his wages so he cant see why they wont agree to it.

Milan are even prepared to throw in one of Zlatan's used Alice bands to sweeten the deal.

[bigblue]

This made me laugh out of confusion:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/mar/25/kenny-dalglish-liverpool-philosophy

So they need to abandon all the good football they've been playing and just be more direct, eh? Fucking delusional scousers

[zuricity]

There is absolutely no way Chelsea can afford to spend that much money on players anymore, not with the Financial Fairplay bollocks taking effect now and not with the insane losses they still make year in year out.

you're missing the point, the media are only interested in ffp when it concerns City, any other non arab owned club can do what it likes.