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Reading through the articles this morning on Aguero got my mind working.....whats the most stupid injury thats you've ever given yourselves??

Mine is giving myself whiplash a day after passing my CBT when I floored my bike straight into my dads house.....clever like that you see

In 1972, I did the most stupid thing you could ever imagine. The ultimate and most unbeatable self harming injury that anyone could ever imagine.
For 15 years, I was unable to go out socially, drink much alcohol or have good sex with women...it cost me more money than I actually earned, and caused me abject and horrific physical and mental torment.
It was all my own stupid fault.

On 22nd April 1972, when the priest asked "Do you take this woman...etc". I replied "I DO."

15 years later I had to have extremely costly but effective surgery called a divorce, in order to get this 'orrible painful lump off my back for ever. I have felt well ever since.

Drove a chisel through my wrist severing every arterie while trying to fit a new mortice lock.

Oh how we laughed!

Got hit with an arrow in my leg...luckly it was a point head and not jagged---my mates thought it was funny...so I shot him in the back with air rifle.

I think that was fair.

Broke load of ribs after swerving to avoid a dog whilst on a bicycle & landing in a ditch. When I had almost recovered, smashed up a lot of the little bones in my hand after riding over a dog whilst on a bicycle. Second injury was particularly stupid, as slowing down would have been the sensible option.

Ruptured my spleen jumping a road on a KX 250 whilst in 500 km race Enduro in S.Africa.

I lasted 2 kms and went to hospital....showing off in front of huge crowd.

I can write a million pages on my fuckign stupid injuries.

Ted Hughes wrote:Broke load of ribs after swerving to avoid a dog whilst on a bicycle & landing in a ditch. When I had almost recovered, smashed up a lot of the little bones in my hand after riding over a dog whilst on a bicycle. Second injury was particularly stupid, as slowing down would have been the sensible option.

Fido said,
Went to attack this cyclist, the bastard managed to swerve but I pissed myself when he rode into a ditch and busted his ribs badly.

Saw him again and thought I'd have another go. Stupid thing to do really and I should have quit while I was winning. The bastard didn't bother swerving, just rode right over me...Hilarious when he fell off and fucked his hand up but really stupid as I got bike tyre marks right along my back.

carl_feedthegoat wrote:Ruptured my spleen jumping a road on a KX 250 whilst in 500 km race Enduro in S.Africa.

I lasted 2 kms and went to hospital....showing off in front of huge crowd.

I can write a million pages on my fuckign stupid injuries.

And you've been venting it ever since.

Ted Hughes wrote:

carl_feedthegoat wrote:Ruptured my spleen jumping a road on a KX 250 whilst in 500 km race Enduro in S.Africa.

I lasted 2 kms and went to hospital....showing off in front of huge crowd.

I can write a million pages on my fuckign stupid injuries.

And you've been venting it ever since.

My anger management course told me to vent it in one almighty outburst.....and then find calmness for the rest of the day.

This really works.

carl_feedthegoat wrote:Ruptured my spleen jumping a road on a KX 250 whilst in 500 km race Enduro in S.Africa.

I lasted 2 kms and went to hospital....showing off in front of huge crowd.

I can write a million pages on my fuckign stupid injuries.

imagine all the fucking editing LookMum would have to do to correct spelling, grammar and consistency of tone?

still, it would be a fanciful read i'm sure.

[youtube]q4roxM8hUMk[/youtube]

Lay under a jacked up motor and let it down on the jack before getting out from underneath..luckily(or not,depending on point of view) i managed to reach it and crank it up before my chest collapsed.Stepped off a weir pool sill in chest high waders wasn't very clever, either. Walked out through 12 feet of water and lived to catch some bigguns.

I was slicing up an avocado
When you came up behind me
With your quiet brand new sneakers
Your reflection i did not see
It was the hottest day in august
And we were heading for the sea
For a second my mind started drifting

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
You put your arms around

Blood sprayed on the kitchen sink
What's this? I had time to think
I see the tip of my index finger
My mind is slowly creating a link
From your mouth speaks your lovely voice
The best comments i've ever heard
Oh honey, you've cut off your finger
I bet that's gotta hurt

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
You put your arms around

I must've passed out on the porch
I'd never seen so many bright stars
When i wake up im in the waiting room
Of the local e.r.
My hand is wrapped in toilet paper
And my shirts all blood red
I see you standing there like an angel
And i say baby, i must be dead

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
you put your arms around me

That's pretty much what happened to me, but the blood sprayed every fucking where. I even had splatter on the kitchen ceiling.

And once I broke my toe, trying to step over an open suit case, and getting one of my toes stuck on the side of the suit case when putting down my foot.

i've got 2!

#1
Playing at being a samurai with my newly sharpened katana, trying to imitate the 'quick draw' technique, pulled the blade out very quickly, but didn't notice my finger from the hand holding the scabbard had slipped onto the blade when i drew it out. Pulled the entire length of the sword through my finger in one go. Nearly took my finger off, cut through to the bone and through all my nerves and tendons. right hand pointer finger.

#2
riding on my motorcycle with the missus on the back, she says she wants to steer from sitting behind by wrapping her arms around and grabbing the handles. Stupidly i say go for it! she grabs the handles, jerks the accelerator which unbalances us, she freaks out and I try to grab the handles back ... but too late as we slam into the side of a parked construction truck. Luckily I had been able to hit the brake ... unfortunately the hand brake which stops the front tire ... so we flew over the handle bars and I hit the side of the truck hard and the ole lady slammed into my back and bounced off into the street. I then landed on her and the bike landed on me. We both got pretty scrapped up. Surprisingly the bike was not totaled, though I was then hit by a car some months later and it was (this was not my fault and I got a nice settlement! and no major injuries).

I've decided to put down swords and motorcycles for a while.