Friday's B*ll*x

[Chinners]

Roberto Mancini jokes about 'punching' Mario Balotelli
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini says he jokingly told Mario Balotelli he might have punched him in the head every day if he was his team-mate.
Mancini said he could understand why his squad sometimes got frustrated with the enigmatic 21-year-old striker.
The City boss said: "I told him, if you played with me 10 years ago I would give you every day maybe one punch in your head.
"There are different ways to help a guy like Mario."
Mancini added: "I don't speak with him every day, otherwise I would need a psychologist, but I speak with him because I don't want him to lose his quality.
"If Mario is not one of the best players in the world it will be his fault, because he has everything.
"Mario can be one of the top players in Europe. I don't want him to lose his talent."
Reports suggested Balotelli and team-mate Kolo Toure had a half-time fight in the 3-3 Premier League draw against Sunderland, which saw City lose further ground on leaders Manchester United.
Toure said he was upset by "untrue" claims
Mancini believes Balotelli's behaviour on and off the pitch is blown out of proportion.
The striker has scored 17 goals in 29 appearances for City this season.
"There are some people who think bad things against other people, like Mario," he said.
"Every time Mario does something, [it] is like a war.
"There are other people on and off the pitch that do worse than Mario and no-one says anything because maybe they play for an important team or are not like Mario."

We're still Inter Mario! Balotelli could be offered Milan escape route in summer
Inter Milan could swoop to end Mario Balotelli's tumultuous spell at Manchester City, but are not prepared to announce any move until the summer.
The Italy striker, 21, has been dogged by a number of high-profile controversies since his move to the Barclays Premier League last summer.
Most recently following revelations that he had a fling with a prostitute linked to Wayne Rooney which came just days after he argued with team-mates during the match with Sunderland.
Balotelli has clashed with manager Roberto Mancini recently and admitted that his knowledge of the story had been a heavy burden.
But he could be offered a route out of the Etihad Stadium in the summer and back to the club who released him for £26million in August last year.
The Serie A club will not give it thought until the summer at the earliest, as their sporting director, Marco Branca, insisted at a press conference to unveil new signing Fredy Guarin.
Asked about Balotelli, Branca said: 'I don't want to be rude and I will respond briefly.
'Balotelli is not a topical interest issue. Today, we talk about Guarin and about the pleasure to have him among us.
'As for Mario, there will be time to speak about in one or two months.'

Controversial Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli managed to make the headlines again as this time he managed to escape unhurt after being involved in a car accident.
According to Manchester City, who revealed that the collision was not Batotelli's fault, the former Inter Milan forward's car (a Bentley) was involved in an accident with another car in Medlock Street, Greater Manchester (near Deansgate). The 21-year-old striker was unhurt but the person in the other car (who was also unhurt) was rushed to hospital as a precaution.
"Shortly after 3:15pm on Thursday 5 April, 2012, police were called to Medlock Street, Manchester City Centre, to report of a collision between two cars. The passenger of one of the cars was taken to hospital for precautionary measures. Inquiries are ongoing,'' read a statement by Greater Manchester Police, according to an ESPN report.
Meanwhile, on Thursday, Balotelli revealed that he had been involved with a prostitute named Jennifer Thompson, who had been earlier linked to Manchester United star striker Wayne Rooney. Thompson had claimed that Rooney had offered her £1,200 to sleep with him during his wife Coleen's fifth month of pregnancy.

City carpet starlet over pro-Man United tweets
A Manchester City youth-team player has been forced to apologise for celebrating arch-rivals Manchester United’s win over Blackburn.
Sam Jones posted gleeful messages on Twitter as goals by Antonio Valencia and Ashley Young sent United five points clear of City at the top of the Premier League.
The defender kicked off with: “Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh united united united”, before following it up with: “yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what a goal!!!!!”
After Monday’s game, he said: “Game over! Ashley Young you king!”
But Blues fans were less than impressed, and sharp-eyed City officials gave him a dressing down.
Jones, from South Wales, has now tweeted: “I am sorry for causing offence. I shouldn’t have said those things. The club has reminded me of my responsibilities.”
City are thought to have signed schoolboy Jones from Welsh side Cardiff last month.

OTHER BOLLOX
Liverpool forward Dirk Kuyt is interested in making a move to Italian side Roma, according to his agent. The Dutch international, 31, has only a year left on his Anfield contract. talkShite

Blackburn boss Steve Kean has warned Sir Alex Ferguson off making an approach for highly-rated central defender Grant Hanley. The 20-year-old is said to have impressed during United's 2-0 defeat of Rovers earlier in the week. the Sun

West Brom goalkeeper Ben Foster has told club officials that he wants to make his loan deal from parent club Birmingham a permanent one. Daily Mirror

Real Madrid are on the hunt for an England international right-back, and are prepared to spend £16.5m to sign either Spurs' Kyle Walker, 21, or Liverpool's 27-year-old Glen Johnson. Daily Star

Danish international Nicklas Bendtner will wait until after Euro 2012 to decide on his future. The 24-year-old forward is on a season-long loan deal at Sunderland from Arsenal and could leave the Gunners for as little as £4m in the summer after falling out of favour. the Sun

Aston Villa are preparing to offer a deal to Hearts outcast Marian Kello. The Slovakia goalkeeper, 29, is a free agent after parting company with the Edinburgh side. Daily Mirror

Arsenal are preparing a £10m summer swoop for Fulham's American striker Clint Dempsey. The 29-year-old has been in fine form this campaign at Craven Cottage, netting 19 goals. Daily Express

Teenage Sao Paulo star Lucas Moura has spoken to both Chelsea and Manchester United over a transfer in the off-season, according to the player's agent. The 19-year-old midfielder has already picked up 11 caps for Brazil in his short professional career. Metro

Mid-table La Liga side Rayo Vallecano have opened talks with Rangers' 23-year-old Nigeria winger Sone Aluko. Daily Record

The Football Association could make approaches for a number of big-name coaches within a week. Harry Redknapp is understood to be a strong contender, but the FA refuse to narrow down their shortlist to just one target. Daily Mail

Former Blackburn Rovers and Notts County manager Paul Ince says he is keen to take over from interim boss Terry Connor as manager of Wolves. talkShite

Salomon Kalou has pinpointed Barcelona's defence as a weakness that Chelsea can target and expects them to defeat the European champions in their Champions League semi-final. Daily Telegraph

Chelsea chief executive Ron Gourlay has praised interim first-team coach Roberto Di Matteo for guiding the club into the Champions League semi-finals and helping save their season. London Evening Standard

Ex-Sunderland boss Steve Bruce says his Newcastle roots made his time in charge at the Stadium of Light a nightmare. A boyhood Toon supporter, Bruce said: "I must admit that being a Geordie came back to haunt me. The hatred I suffered was unbelievable. It was brutal, it really was." the Sun

Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba is just a week away from being able to check out of hospital and head home. The player celebrates his 24th birthday today and is making such good progress after his cardiac arrest last month that he is just a few checks away from being released from the London Chest Hospital. Daily Mirror

Swansea boss Brendan Rodgers says on-loan Icelandic midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson is the new Frank Lampard. "He's that type of goalscoring midfield player," explained the Swans boss of the 22-year-old. Daily Express

Arsenal's England international midfielder Jack Wilshere could be back and playing within three weeks. The Gunners are said to be organising a series of friendly games in a bid to get the 20-year-old back to match fitness. Metro

Highly-rated West Ham youngster Ravel Morrison, who joined under a cloud from Manchester United in January, has knuckled down and worked hard since his move to Upton Park. However, there is frustration among some of the Hammers hierarchy that the 19-year-old hasn't featured more for the first team. Daily Telegraph

Stoke boss Tony Pulis says he hopes midfielder Jermaine Pennant has learned his lesson after the 29-year-old took to Twitter to complain about his team selection. Pennant was "talking to a bunch of Herberts", according to Pulis. the Guardian

Fulham boss Martin Jol is keen for club captain Danny Murphy to sign a contract extension with the club. The veteran midfielder, 35, is yet to put pen to paper on a new deal that will keep him in west London before the end of the campaign. the Independent

Midfielder Karl Henry admits Wolves need a "miracle" of five wins out of seven to stay up - but reckons the pressure is off because everyone thinks they're down. Wolverhampton Express & Star

[Ted Hughes]

Thanx Chinners.

Blackburn boss Steve Kean has warned Sir Alex Ferguson off making an approach for highly-rated central defender Grant Hanley,( who will then be known as 'the new Bobby Charlton' if he plays a game in midfield in training ).

[Goaters 103]

Translation of Blackburns "warning off" is - Please come and buy him, please please. Any bid over £2m will do it.

[mcfc/wire]

Am i over reacting by saying that Sam Jones can fook right off .

[Sideshow Bob]

who the fuck is sam jones and why is the cunt on our payroll???

[Blue Since 76]

"person in the other car (who was also unhurt) was rushed to hospital as a precaution."

Do they normally rush unhurt people to hospital? Was it full blues and twos and everything, before declaring the perfectly alright?

[Blue Since 76]

Thanx Chinners.

Blackburn boss Steve Kean has warned Sir Alex Ferguson off making an approach for highly-rated central defender Grant Hanley,( who will then be known as 'the new Bobby Charlton' if he plays a game in midfield in training ).

Surely they should have approached him before they played them. What's the point of doing it afterwards?

[craigmcfc]

Am i over reacting by saying that Sam Jones can fook right off .

Not in the slightest, those were my exact thoughts when I read it too

[ashton287]

"person in the other car (who was also unhurt) was rushed to hospital as a precaution."

Do they normally rush unhurt people to hospital? Was it full blues and twos and everything, before declaring the perfectly alright?

Some cunt obviously looking for a claim.

[Beefymcfc]

"person in the other car (who was also unhurt) was rushed to hospital as a precaution."

Do they normally rush unhurt people to hospital? Was it full blues and twos and everything, before declaring the perfectly alright?

Some cunt obviously looking for a claim.

For crashing their car into Mario's? If I was the insurance company I'd tell them to feck right off.

[ashton287]

For crashing their car into Mario's? If I was the insurance company I'd tell them to feck right off.

Ever driven in town? Fucking stop start stop start. We're talking bout some dildo that has crashed doing 10mph.

[Beefymcfc]

For crashing their car into Mario's? If I was the insurance company I'd tell them to feck right off.

Ever driven in town? Fucking stop start stop start. We're talking bout some dildo that has crashed doing 10mph.

Sure have mate, daily until of late. Never felt the need to do a U-turn into a car going the other way though.

[gillie]

For crashing their car into Mario's? If I was the insurance company I'd tell them to feck right off.

Ever driven in town? Fucking stop start stop start. We're talking bout some dildo that has crashed doing 10mph.

Sure have mate, daily until of late. Never felt the need to do a U-turn into a car going the other way though.

If you get out of 2nd gear driving through town your doing extremely well imo.

[Beefymcfc]

For crashing their car into Mario's? If I was the insurance company I'd tell them to feck right off.

Ever driven in town? Fucking stop start stop start. We're talking bout some dildo that has crashed doing 10mph.

Sure have mate, daily until of late. Never felt the need to do a U-turn into a car going the other way though.

If you get out of 2nd gear driving through town your doing extremely well imo.

The centre is a nightmare, so is Deansgate but if you know where to go, you're fine. Still not tried smashing someone though.

Don't tell me, you two fuckers have crashed in town, ain't ya ;-)

[gillie]

For crashing their car into Mario's? If I was the insurance company I'd tell them to feck right off.

Ever driven in town? Fucking stop start stop start. We're talking bout some dildo that has crashed doing 10mph.

Sure have mate, daily until of late. Never felt the need to do a U-turn into a car going the other way though.

If you get out of 2nd gear driving through town your doing extremely well imo.

The centre is a nightmare, so is Deansgate but if you know where to go, you're fine. Still not tried smashing someone though.

Don't tell me, you two fuckers have crashed in town, ain't ya ;-)

Beefy mate touch wood i have never crashed anywhere.

[Beefymcfc]

Ever driven in town? Fucking stop start stop start. We're talking bout some dildo that has crashed doing 10mph.

Sure have mate, daily until of late. Never felt the need to do a U-turn into a car going the other way though.

If you get out of 2nd gear driving through town your doing extremely well imo.

The centre is a nightmare, so is Deansgate but if you know where to go, you're fine. Still not tried smashing someone though.

Don't tell me, you two fuckers have crashed in town, ain't ya ;-)

Beefy mate touch wood i have never crashed anywhere.

I touched my head as I written that!