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Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:27 am
by chips
This gave me a massive smile today. I though I'd share it with you.

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has recounted the pain of losing the Premier League title to rivals Manchester City on the final day of the 2011-12 season.

Roberto Mancini's team scored two injury-time goals against QPR at the Etihad Stadium to dramatically claim the top flight crown on goal difference.

Rooney and his team-mates had already beaten Sunderland and thought they had retained the title when they learned of City's comeback by the reaction of the crowd at the Stadium of Light.

"Our fans are losing it, the players can sense the league is coming back to Old Trafford," reads an extract of Rooney's new book, 'My Decade in the Premier League', published in the Daily Mirror. "I can't make out what's going on, nobody can. Is it over? Have City blown it?

"When the final whistle goes there's complete confusion. I'm looking to the bench, trying to work out whether we're champions. Everyone's staring at one another, shrugging their shoulders.

"Then the Sunderland fans start cheering. They're turning their backs to the ground and bouncing up and down. That's 'The Poznan' – the celebration that City do whenever they score.

"Oh God, City are champions. The manager is walking towards us. He's telling us to thank the fans. My heart sinks. I can see it's done, finished.

"Someone shouts, 'City scored two in injury time' and I feel sick. Our fans look heartbroken. Then I look towards the Sunderland supporters and they're made up, laughing.

"What, because we've lost out on the title at the last minute? Why are they so bothered about us?

"I think about playing Sunderland next season, beating them, because focusing on anything other than City, however small, goes some way to making me feel better. That night, I live through the pain again – Match of the Day on the telly.

"City get their title. I turn the TV off. Silence. Gary Neville was right. There's nothing worse than having the same points as the champions, but being second best."

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:31 am
by Green & Blue
That was a satisfying read i must say, cheers for sharing it.

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:32 am
by london blue 2
Brilliant, made me smile.

Bitter cunt

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:46 am
by sheblue
Surprised to see he can read and write.......here's hoping he feels the same in May.

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:00 am
by chips
Cheers guys. I do however think he should've mentioned phil jones...

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:11 am
by Chinners
I can't understand his atitude, he was so keen to join us and no doubt will be keen to do so again one day. Mind at least it will mean he can update his book for more sales I suppose ... fcum

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:15 am
by Avalon
sheblue wrote:Surprised to see he can read and write.......here's hoping he feels the same in May.


I genuinely doubt he did. Aside from the usual fact that most biographies have others write it for them, I don't think he's the fastest gun in the west. I guess it comes with the job when you work with the camel.

chips wrote:Cheers guys. I do however think he should've mentioned phil jones...


Yeah, the look on his face was priceless.

As for the read, good to see that we've hurt them. Not just hurt them. Beaten them in their own game. We did what they've been doing for years and they hated it. Us and the neutrals, we loved it. It was a fanastic moment.

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:21 am
by Bianchi on Ice
wooney wites a book? hmmm coming to a charidy shop near you. Why would anyone want to read about what this complete cunt thinks? Hes overpaid, overrated and overweight...and underendowed in the thatch department...thats all there iss to know...i despise him

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:22 am
by Bianchi on Ice
wooney wites a book? hmmm coming to a charidy shop near you. Why would anyone want to read about what this complete cunt thinks? Hes overpaid, overrated and overweight...and underendowed in the thatch department...thats all there iss to know...i despise him

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:29 am
by Piccsnumberoneblue
When I read the title of this thread, I thought perhaps somebody had bought him one.

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:37 am
by PeterParker
This is a real surprise for me. I didn't knew that Shrek knows how to read or spell.

Now i know why he is a fan of 'arry!

Regarding the article, great reaction for the Sunderland's fans, but i think that reaction is more as a payback for every pathetic display that the club had playing scum, when the elephant man was their manager.

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:05 am
by Crossie
Wow its like he actually wrote every word himself, as though he can actually emote and articulate himself........

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:03 am
by london blue 2
the fact that he mentions the Sunderland fans and avenging their piss taking shows how pathetic the boy is. Seriously Wayne your 200k a week should help you get over it. Twat.

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:13 am
by Dronny
"What, because we've lost out on the title at the last minute? Why are they so bothered about us?



Because fatboy everybody hates you and your wank team

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:15 am
by Chinners
Coleen reviewing the first edition of 'My Decade in the Premier League' earlier ...

Image

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:29 am
by Dameerto
(female) gingers in green dresses are hot. FACT.

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:36 am
by Chinners
Dameerto wrote:(female) gingers in green dresses are hot. FACT.


It's in capitals so it must be one ... I'm with you on that then

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:40 am
by dario2739
I thought 50 Shades of Grey was Shrek's book, referring to the grannies he's shagged!

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 12:20 pm
by Bianchi on Ice
dario2739 wrote:I thought 50 Shades of Grey was Shrek's book, referring to the grannies he's shagged!


Nah thats "50 shades of varicose veins"

Re: Shrek and his Book

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 1:20 pm
by Yffi_88
"So there we were.... Champions. City with seconds to go. Our fans were cheering, we could see the spare trophy being polished in the tunnel, Phil Jones had taken his top off revealing his hideous fucking alien body. The Sunderland fans started cheering. 'Get your fucking top back on Phil', i thought - you're embarassing us'. But it wasn't him they were laughing at... then the news filtered down... City had done it. NOOOOOOOOOO"

[spoiler]Image[/spoiler]