Monday's B*l**x
Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:06 amTHE BOLLOX
Comedian charged over pitch invasion
A comedian accused of going onto the Goodison Park pitch and warming up with the Manchester City team before their game against Everton on Saturday has been charged.
Simon Brodkin, 35, who stars in BBC Three's 'Lee Nelson's Well Good Show', has been hit with a pitch encroachment charge under theFootball Offences Act.
A man took to the Goodison pitch in the build-up to the weekend's Premier League clash dressed in a City kit. The man, believed to be Mr Brodkin, will appear at Liverpool Community Justice Centre on April 3.
Stewards noticed a man on the pitch prior to kick-off, but police say they did not delay the start of the match as a result of the incident. Everton ran out 2-0 winners, thanks to goals from Leon Osman and Nikica Jelavic.
City draw up plans to revitalise team
The futures of up to 11 first-team Manchester City players is in the air as the Blues start the rebuilding proccess
City are planning a summer revamp of their squad, with the battle to win back the Premier League title already underway.
The Blues virtually handed the trophy to neighbours United with a tame, fragmented display in defeat at Everton.
And that confirmed the suspicion of chief executive Ferran Soriano that the Blues need an overhaul of their first-team squad – with the futures of as many as ELEVEN players up in the air – with top-class reinforcement planned.
High on the wanted list this summer are strikers Radamel Falcao and Edinson Cavani, with Malaga starlet Isco and Roma’s Brazilian defender Marquinhos also being tracked.
The Blues will also explore the strength of the link between Brazilian superstar Neymar and Barcelona.
City will move on Wayne Bridge and Roque Santa Cruz, while Kolo Toure is also still likely to go, despite being one of the Blues’ better players in recent weeks.
But some bigger names are also under threat, even though the decisions on who stays and who goes will not be finalised until later in the season.
Maicon, Samir Nasri, Edin Dzeko, Scott Sinclair, Aleks Kolarov, Gareth Barry, Dedryck Boyata and John Guidetti could all go.
Joleon Lescott – who was last night added to England’s squad for the World Cup qualifiers against San Marino and Montenegro after Spurs’ Michael Dawson pulled out through injury – could also leave the Blues despite being given reassurances in January that he is still part of the club’s plans.
Manager Roberto Mancini appears to be safe for the time being, although his performance will also come under scrutiny when the executive team report to chairman Khaldoon al Mubarak at the usual end-of-season summit in Abu Dhabi.
If City continue to under-perform as they did at Goodison Park, Mancini’s future will be in the balance, but an FA Cup triumph and second place in the league would be seen as a reasonable return.
Soriano and football director Txiki Begiristain, however, want an overhaul of City’s playing style in the summer, making them faster, more technical and more penetrative.
They are also looking closely at the structure of the academy, with few players coming through from the junior ranks, and some ordinary displays at under-18 and under-21 level.
Mancini did not do himself any favours by refusing to speak to any media, even the club’s own website, after Saturday’s defeat, the reason being that he was too ‘angry’.
He also did not travel back to Manchester with the team, speeding off to the airport to catch a flight back to Italy for a short holiday.
That left assistant manager David Platt to try to explain the tactical decisions and lack of effort which lost City the match.
But Platt also had to explain away Mancini’s absence, saying: “It’s tense, the stakes are high and you live that game for 90 minutes.
“Immediately afterwards you are expected to come out, have a cool head and speak because if you don’t you get into all sorts of mither.”
On the Goodison performance, Platt reminded everyone that since the last debacle, when the Blues put in a similarly half-cocked performance in a 3-1 defeat at Southampton, City have reached the FA Cup semi-finals with wins over Leeds and Barnsley, and beaten Chelsea and Aston Villa in the league.
“Since we got beaten at Southampton, we have performed admirably and continued to win football matches,” said Platt.
“We will continue to do that. The boys go away now and once we regroup after the internationals we will be prepared for the next game.
“We have drawn more games this season. We won football matches last year and have drawn a lot this season.
“We have got beaten, we have to put it away and have an obligation to go out and win football matches.
“People can start talking about league titles, but even if it becomes mathematically impossible, we can’t down tools.
“We have to continue to go out to win football matches until May 19.”
Platt refused to make the excuse that losing the influential Yaya Toure, who cried off with a migraine on the eve of the game, on top of the absence of injured Vincent Kompany and Sergio Aguero, had ripped the spine from City.
“We were without Yaya when he was at the African Nations Cup. He is a top player and any club would miss him,” he said.
“But we have a squad that is capable of performing, and we won enough matches without him. I don’t know how many we won when he was at the African Nations, but we won them.”
Platt re-affirmed that City need to finish the season as strongly as possible, and that the time to assess their performance as a squad is at the end of the campaign.
“There are too many games to go before you can start to turn round and say an FA Cup win or second place would mean success or failure,” he said. “It is a question we can answer with a lot more clarity and common sense around May 20."
Platt: Owners support Mancini
Manchester City first-team coach David Platt insists Roberto Mancini still has the backing of the club's owners and fans.
Mancini's future at City has been the subject of constant speculation and Saturday's disappointing defeat against Everton has fuelled rumours over his position at the Etihad Stadium.
City saw their title hopes all but ended by the defeat at Goodison Park, but Platt is adamant Mancini will not be affected by the rumours over his future and has offered a staunch defence of the Italian.
"There is an appreciation of Roberto from the supporters and the owners," said Platt.
"The expectancy levels of Roberto Mancini are a lot higher than what people think. If people want to talk about rumours and negatives that is up to them. We can't stop that.
"If people want to do things like that, they can. All I know is that during his career he has won things.
"That is what his focus, desire and intensity is about.
"He won't want stop wanting to win things. He will regroup from this and by the time we play Newcastle he will have 100 per cent focus."
Blues star Micah faces ban after Ferrari snapped speeding
The England international defender was due to appear at Tameside magistrates court charged with failing to respond to police documents
City star Micah Richards could face a ban from the road after his Ferrari was snapped speeding on Princess Parkway in south Manchester.
The England international defender was due to appear at Tameside magistrates court charged with failing to respond to police documents.
But he failed to turn up – and was found guilty in his absence.
The court heard the offence carries a penalty of six driving-licence points – and Richards already has six after twice being caught using his mobile phone behind the wheel.
He has been summonsed back before the court on April 12 to be sentenced for failing to give information regarding the driver's identity in response to letters sent on
September 21 and November 2 last year.
The court heard a Ferrari 458 Italia belonging to Richards, 24, had been captured on camera being driven at 51mph in a 40mph zone in September.
Becky Slate, prosecuting, said Richards – of Bowden, Altrincham – had already been slapped with three points and a £600 fine for driving while using a mobile on November 14, 2010, and a further three points for a similar offence on January 11 this year.
That means he could break the 12-point mark and face a six-month disqualification, the court heard. The court clerk said: “This could be bad news for Mr Richards – he will have to be here in the future before this court.”
His teammate Carlos Tevez was last week charged with driving while disqualified and driving without insurance.
The 29-year-old Argentinian striker, of Alderley Edge, was arrested on March 8 on the A538 in Macclesfield.
He answered bail at Cheshire Police’s custody suite in Middlewich.
Tevez has been bailed to appear before Macclesfield magistrates court on April 3
Why Jose Mourinho Would Be a Terrible Fit at Manchester City
It is that time of the year again when speculation as to which club Jose Mourinho will be in charge of next season reaches fever pitch, with the man himself more often than not behind the rumours and gossip in the first place. This campaign is no different from past episodes.
Whether it be 2004, 2007, 2010 or 2013, without fail, every three years the self-styled "Special One" will bring down the curtain on an often tumultuous and always memorable relationship with a major European footballing superpower and start making advances toward his next suitor.
On Planet Football at present, it is an open secret that the Portuguese will end his up-and-down association with Real Madrid when Los Blancos’ season eventually grinds to a halt at home to Osasuna in La Liga on June 6.
In fact, just this week respected Spanish radio station Cadena SER reported (via the Express) that Mourinho and the club would after all be sticking to the pre-agreement the two parties came to back in December to officially go their separate ways this summer, with Mou receiving a hefty payoff in the process, despite Madrid’s recent upturn in form.
All of which leaves us wondering just which team Mourinho will be coaching next season, as he has already been linked with a return to Chelsea (according to David Woods of the Daily Star), an inaugural spell in Ligue 1 with big-spending Paris Saint-Germain or even replacing under-pressure Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini at the Ethiad stadium.
Indeed, many observers feel that the latter option would be the perfect fit for both club and coach, but in actual fact, rather than being a match made in heaven, Mourinho at Eastlands would be a marriage made in hell, an unmitigated disaster from start to finish.
Firstly, it is important to remember just who is calling the shots now behind the scenes at the Premier League champions. Long gone is hapless chief executive Garry Cook, replaced by savvy European operators Ferran Soriano (chief executive) and Txiki Begiristain (director of football), both recruited from FC Barcelona (via The Guardian).
Now, this is the same pair who interviewed Mourinho (via The Sun) for the vacant managerial post at Camp Nou in the summer of the 2008, before opting instead to offer the job to a coaching novice by the name of Josep "Pep" Guardiola.
Not only that, but both men also have long associations with a club that not only has Mourinho been waging a war against since his days in charge at Stamford Bridge, but which also belittled the Portuguese by referring to him as a “translator” (via The Guardian) during his time assisting Bobby Robson and Louis van Gaal in Catalonia in the mid-to-late '90s.
Not exactly an ideal recipe for long-lasting success, peace and harmony then, is it? And that is even before we get on to Mourinho’s well-known dislike of any interference whatsoever from above, and especially when that involves a director of football telling the Portuguese who he can and cannot sign.
Such a scenario proved the beginning of the end of his highly successful three-year spell in West London, with Mou leaving the Bridge the moment that newly appointed Blues director of football Avram Grant started to stick his nose into first-team affairs. The Portuguese also fought a long-running personal battle with Jorge Valdano at the Bernabeu before eventually winning that particular contest when the Argentinian was forced to leave the Spanish capital in the summer of 2011.
And, earlier this week reports in the British press suggested that Mourinho would only return to Chelsea if director of football Michael Emenalo was sacked; so, you have to wonder just how smooth a working relationship he would have with Begiristain were he to replace Mancini this summer?
However, let’s say just for the sake of argument that Mourinho, Begiristain and Soriano are all able to bury the hatchet and work together in the collective interests of the club, then that still leaves the tricky issue of the baggage, the fights, the skullduggery and the Machiavellian plots and schemes that the Special One will without fail take part in while manager of City (or any other club for that matter).
That is simply just the way Mou works, whether it be starting a war with Liverpool by calling them just a cup team (2005), or accusing the Reading ambulance service of not doing their jobs properly by failing to respond quickly enough to treat Petr Cech’s head injury (2006), or poking Barcelona assistant manager Tito Vilanova in the eye (2011), this is the world according to Mourinho and these are the antics and games that he would bring with him to City.
Now just remember that this is a football club that under the ownership of Sheikh Mansour have been desperately keen to project as squeaky clean an image as possible throughout the world, hence the removal of the gaffe-prone Cook.
So in many ways, the brash, abrasive, cocky and cocksure Mourinho would be like a ticking time bomb at Eastlands, with every time the Portuguese opening his mouth resulting in ructions all the way to the UAE.
However, perhaps the biggest single reason as to why Mou would make a terrible manager at Man City is what was touched on at the very beginning, and that is Mourinho will always, always develop a three-year itch, no matter what, which runs totally against everything that Sheikh Mansour and City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak having been trying to instill since buying the club in 2008.
The City owner and his right-hand man have not entered English football simply to make a quick buck and then exit stage left; no, they are in this for the long haul, and as such, they want stability at their club, which means a manager that is also there for a long-term project.
And not only that, but with UEFA imminently set to implement their beloved financial fair play regulations, City are also after a coach who will focus on the club’s academy system, with a view to then promoting young up-and-coming prospects into the first team.
So just to recap, City will be wanting Mourinho to commit his long-term future to the club and at the same time focus part of his energies on making sure there is a regular conveyor belt of young English talent available so that the cub can start to scale back its enormous funding of ready-made world-class players. All this needs to be done in partnership with a director of football and with no negative publicity associated with the club along the way.
OK, that sounds like just the job for Mourinho then!
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
German side Wolfsburg are considering a summer move for 28-year-old Arsenal defender Per Mertesacker. Daily Express
Arsenal are ready to make Swansea an offer for their highly-rated goalkeeper Michel Vorm, 29, to solve their problems in that position. Metro
Reading striker Pavel Pogrebnyak, 29, could join Russian side Zenit St Petersburg in order to trim the club's wage bill should they be relegated from the Premier League. Daily Mirror
Liverpool have rejected loan bids from Championship sides Leeds, Cardiff and Bolton for struggling 18-year-old winger Raheem Sterling. Daily Mirror
Chelsea have said that Atletico Madrid will have to pay £17m for 20-year-old Belgian goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois, who has spent close to two seasons on loan at the Spanish club and is yet to play for his parent club. Daily Star
Arsenal are keen on St Etienne striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, 23, after receiving positive scouting reports from former player Gilles Grimandi. Sun
But the Gabon international is also attracting the interest of Chelsea, who may look to bolster their attacking options in the summer. DSSC
QPR boss Harry Redknapp may give the goalkeeping gloves to Robert Green after Julio Cesar's display in Saturday's 3-2 defeat by Aston Villa. DSSC
Arsenal's victories against Bayern Munich and Swansea came after the team's defence decided to sit down and review their poor performance against Tottenham on video. Daily Telegraph
The Metropolitan police is investigating incidents of coin-throwing by West Ham supporters at Chelsea, with captain John Terry and midfielder Frank Lampard both targeted. Guardian
Reading caretaker manager Eamonn Dolan is getting increasing support from the club's players to carry on as boss until the end of the season following Brian McDermott's sacking. Sun
Former Southampton manager Nigel Adkins is in line to take over at Leicester should under-fire boss Nigel Pearson lose his job at the Foxes. Daily Mirror
Real Madrid will offer midfielder Sami Khedira, 25, a three-year extension to his contract at the end of the season. His deal expires in 2015. ABC
Former Chelsea striker Dider Drogba has ruled out a return to Marseille, but said he will always have love for the club. Sport 24
Barcelona's Adriano Correia will miss the first leg of the Champions League quarter-final against Paris St-Germain with a torn hamstring. Marca
Play was interrupted during Blackburn's 1-1 draw with Burnley when fans let a chicken onto the pitch in protest against Blackburn owners Venky's, who own a poultry firm. It is the second time this has happened after a similar incident against Wigan last season. Sun
MORE BOLLOX LATER ...
Comedian charged over pitch invasion
A comedian accused of going onto the Goodison Park pitch and warming up with the Manchester City team before their game against Everton on Saturday has been charged.
Simon Brodkin, 35, who stars in BBC Three's 'Lee Nelson's Well Good Show', has been hit with a pitch encroachment charge under theFootball Offences Act.
A man took to the Goodison pitch in the build-up to the weekend's Premier League clash dressed in a City kit. The man, believed to be Mr Brodkin, will appear at Liverpool Community Justice Centre on April 3.
Stewards noticed a man on the pitch prior to kick-off, but police say they did not delay the start of the match as a result of the incident. Everton ran out 2-0 winners, thanks to goals from Leon Osman and Nikica Jelavic.
City draw up plans to revitalise team
The futures of up to 11 first-team Manchester City players is in the air as the Blues start the rebuilding proccess
City are planning a summer revamp of their squad, with the battle to win back the Premier League title already underway.
The Blues virtually handed the trophy to neighbours United with a tame, fragmented display in defeat at Everton.
And that confirmed the suspicion of chief executive Ferran Soriano that the Blues need an overhaul of their first-team squad – with the futures of as many as ELEVEN players up in the air – with top-class reinforcement planned.
High on the wanted list this summer are strikers Radamel Falcao and Edinson Cavani, with Malaga starlet Isco and Roma’s Brazilian defender Marquinhos also being tracked.
The Blues will also explore the strength of the link between Brazilian superstar Neymar and Barcelona.
City will move on Wayne Bridge and Roque Santa Cruz, while Kolo Toure is also still likely to go, despite being one of the Blues’ better players in recent weeks.
But some bigger names are also under threat, even though the decisions on who stays and who goes will not be finalised until later in the season.
Maicon, Samir Nasri, Edin Dzeko, Scott Sinclair, Aleks Kolarov, Gareth Barry, Dedryck Boyata and John Guidetti could all go.
Joleon Lescott – who was last night added to England’s squad for the World Cup qualifiers against San Marino and Montenegro after Spurs’ Michael Dawson pulled out through injury – could also leave the Blues despite being given reassurances in January that he is still part of the club’s plans.
Manager Roberto Mancini appears to be safe for the time being, although his performance will also come under scrutiny when the executive team report to chairman Khaldoon al Mubarak at the usual end-of-season summit in Abu Dhabi.
If City continue to under-perform as they did at Goodison Park, Mancini’s future will be in the balance, but an FA Cup triumph and second place in the league would be seen as a reasonable return.
Soriano and football director Txiki Begiristain, however, want an overhaul of City’s playing style in the summer, making them faster, more technical and more penetrative.
They are also looking closely at the structure of the academy, with few players coming through from the junior ranks, and some ordinary displays at under-18 and under-21 level.
Mancini did not do himself any favours by refusing to speak to any media, even the club’s own website, after Saturday’s defeat, the reason being that he was too ‘angry’.
He also did not travel back to Manchester with the team, speeding off to the airport to catch a flight back to Italy for a short holiday.
That left assistant manager David Platt to try to explain the tactical decisions and lack of effort which lost City the match.
But Platt also had to explain away Mancini’s absence, saying: “It’s tense, the stakes are high and you live that game for 90 minutes.
“Immediately afterwards you are expected to come out, have a cool head and speak because if you don’t you get into all sorts of mither.”
On the Goodison performance, Platt reminded everyone that since the last debacle, when the Blues put in a similarly half-cocked performance in a 3-1 defeat at Southampton, City have reached the FA Cup semi-finals with wins over Leeds and Barnsley, and beaten Chelsea and Aston Villa in the league.
“Since we got beaten at Southampton, we have performed admirably and continued to win football matches,” said Platt.
“We will continue to do that. The boys go away now and once we regroup after the internationals we will be prepared for the next game.
“We have drawn more games this season. We won football matches last year and have drawn a lot this season.
“We have got beaten, we have to put it away and have an obligation to go out and win football matches.
“People can start talking about league titles, but even if it becomes mathematically impossible, we can’t down tools.
“We have to continue to go out to win football matches until May 19.”
Platt refused to make the excuse that losing the influential Yaya Toure, who cried off with a migraine on the eve of the game, on top of the absence of injured Vincent Kompany and Sergio Aguero, had ripped the spine from City.
“We were without Yaya when he was at the African Nations Cup. He is a top player and any club would miss him,” he said.
“But we have a squad that is capable of performing, and we won enough matches without him. I don’t know how many we won when he was at the African Nations, but we won them.”
Platt re-affirmed that City need to finish the season as strongly as possible, and that the time to assess their performance as a squad is at the end of the campaign.
“There are too many games to go before you can start to turn round and say an FA Cup win or second place would mean success or failure,” he said. “It is a question we can answer with a lot more clarity and common sense around May 20."
Platt: Owners support Mancini
Manchester City first-team coach David Platt insists Roberto Mancini still has the backing of the club's owners and fans.
Mancini's future at City has been the subject of constant speculation and Saturday's disappointing defeat against Everton has fuelled rumours over his position at the Etihad Stadium.
City saw their title hopes all but ended by the defeat at Goodison Park, but Platt is adamant Mancini will not be affected by the rumours over his future and has offered a staunch defence of the Italian.
"There is an appreciation of Roberto from the supporters and the owners," said Platt.
"The expectancy levels of Roberto Mancini are a lot higher than what people think. If people want to talk about rumours and negatives that is up to them. We can't stop that.
"If people want to do things like that, they can. All I know is that during his career he has won things.
"That is what his focus, desire and intensity is about.
"He won't want stop wanting to win things. He will regroup from this and by the time we play Newcastle he will have 100 per cent focus."
Blues star Micah faces ban after Ferrari snapped speeding
The England international defender was due to appear at Tameside magistrates court charged with failing to respond to police documents
City star Micah Richards could face a ban from the road after his Ferrari was snapped speeding on Princess Parkway in south Manchester.
The England international defender was due to appear at Tameside magistrates court charged with failing to respond to police documents.
But he failed to turn up – and was found guilty in his absence.
The court heard the offence carries a penalty of six driving-licence points – and Richards already has six after twice being caught using his mobile phone behind the wheel.
He has been summonsed back before the court on April 12 to be sentenced for failing to give information regarding the driver's identity in response to letters sent on
September 21 and November 2 last year.
The court heard a Ferrari 458 Italia belonging to Richards, 24, had been captured on camera being driven at 51mph in a 40mph zone in September.
Becky Slate, prosecuting, said Richards – of Bowden, Altrincham – had already been slapped with three points and a £600 fine for driving while using a mobile on November 14, 2010, and a further three points for a similar offence on January 11 this year.
That means he could break the 12-point mark and face a six-month disqualification, the court heard. The court clerk said: “This could be bad news for Mr Richards – he will have to be here in the future before this court.”
His teammate Carlos Tevez was last week charged with driving while disqualified and driving without insurance.
The 29-year-old Argentinian striker, of Alderley Edge, was arrested on March 8 on the A538 in Macclesfield.
He answered bail at Cheshire Police’s custody suite in Middlewich.
Tevez has been bailed to appear before Macclesfield magistrates court on April 3
Why Jose Mourinho Would Be a Terrible Fit at Manchester City
It is that time of the year again when speculation as to which club Jose Mourinho will be in charge of next season reaches fever pitch, with the man himself more often than not behind the rumours and gossip in the first place. This campaign is no different from past episodes.
Whether it be 2004, 2007, 2010 or 2013, without fail, every three years the self-styled "Special One" will bring down the curtain on an often tumultuous and always memorable relationship with a major European footballing superpower and start making advances toward his next suitor.
On Planet Football at present, it is an open secret that the Portuguese will end his up-and-down association with Real Madrid when Los Blancos’ season eventually grinds to a halt at home to Osasuna in La Liga on June 6.
In fact, just this week respected Spanish radio station Cadena SER reported (via the Express) that Mourinho and the club would after all be sticking to the pre-agreement the two parties came to back in December to officially go their separate ways this summer, with Mou receiving a hefty payoff in the process, despite Madrid’s recent upturn in form.
All of which leaves us wondering just which team Mourinho will be coaching next season, as he has already been linked with a return to Chelsea (according to David Woods of the Daily Star), an inaugural spell in Ligue 1 with big-spending Paris Saint-Germain or even replacing under-pressure Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini at the Ethiad stadium.
Indeed, many observers feel that the latter option would be the perfect fit for both club and coach, but in actual fact, rather than being a match made in heaven, Mourinho at Eastlands would be a marriage made in hell, an unmitigated disaster from start to finish.
Firstly, it is important to remember just who is calling the shots now behind the scenes at the Premier League champions. Long gone is hapless chief executive Garry Cook, replaced by savvy European operators Ferran Soriano (chief executive) and Txiki Begiristain (director of football), both recruited from FC Barcelona (via The Guardian).
Now, this is the same pair who interviewed Mourinho (via The Sun) for the vacant managerial post at Camp Nou in the summer of the 2008, before opting instead to offer the job to a coaching novice by the name of Josep "Pep" Guardiola.
Not only that, but both men also have long associations with a club that not only has Mourinho been waging a war against since his days in charge at Stamford Bridge, but which also belittled the Portuguese by referring to him as a “translator” (via The Guardian) during his time assisting Bobby Robson and Louis van Gaal in Catalonia in the mid-to-late '90s.
Not exactly an ideal recipe for long-lasting success, peace and harmony then, is it? And that is even before we get on to Mourinho’s well-known dislike of any interference whatsoever from above, and especially when that involves a director of football telling the Portuguese who he can and cannot sign.
Such a scenario proved the beginning of the end of his highly successful three-year spell in West London, with Mou leaving the Bridge the moment that newly appointed Blues director of football Avram Grant started to stick his nose into first-team affairs. The Portuguese also fought a long-running personal battle with Jorge Valdano at the Bernabeu before eventually winning that particular contest when the Argentinian was forced to leave the Spanish capital in the summer of 2011.
And, earlier this week reports in the British press suggested that Mourinho would only return to Chelsea if director of football Michael Emenalo was sacked; so, you have to wonder just how smooth a working relationship he would have with Begiristain were he to replace Mancini this summer?
However, let’s say just for the sake of argument that Mourinho, Begiristain and Soriano are all able to bury the hatchet and work together in the collective interests of the club, then that still leaves the tricky issue of the baggage, the fights, the skullduggery and the Machiavellian plots and schemes that the Special One will without fail take part in while manager of City (or any other club for that matter).
That is simply just the way Mou works, whether it be starting a war with Liverpool by calling them just a cup team (2005), or accusing the Reading ambulance service of not doing their jobs properly by failing to respond quickly enough to treat Petr Cech’s head injury (2006), or poking Barcelona assistant manager Tito Vilanova in the eye (2011), this is the world according to Mourinho and these are the antics and games that he would bring with him to City.
Now just remember that this is a football club that under the ownership of Sheikh Mansour have been desperately keen to project as squeaky clean an image as possible throughout the world, hence the removal of the gaffe-prone Cook.
So in many ways, the brash, abrasive, cocky and cocksure Mourinho would be like a ticking time bomb at Eastlands, with every time the Portuguese opening his mouth resulting in ructions all the way to the UAE.
However, perhaps the biggest single reason as to why Mou would make a terrible manager at Man City is what was touched on at the very beginning, and that is Mourinho will always, always develop a three-year itch, no matter what, which runs totally against everything that Sheikh Mansour and City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak having been trying to instill since buying the club in 2008.
The City owner and his right-hand man have not entered English football simply to make a quick buck and then exit stage left; no, they are in this for the long haul, and as such, they want stability at their club, which means a manager that is also there for a long-term project.
And not only that, but with UEFA imminently set to implement their beloved financial fair play regulations, City are also after a coach who will focus on the club’s academy system, with a view to then promoting young up-and-coming prospects into the first team.
So just to recap, City will be wanting Mourinho to commit his long-term future to the club and at the same time focus part of his energies on making sure there is a regular conveyor belt of young English talent available so that the cub can start to scale back its enormous funding of ready-made world-class players. All this needs to be done in partnership with a director of football and with no negative publicity associated with the club along the way.
OK, that sounds like just the job for Mourinho then!
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]German side Wolfsburg are considering a summer move for 28-year-old Arsenal defender Per Mertesacker. Daily Express
Arsenal are ready to make Swansea an offer for their highly-rated goalkeeper Michel Vorm, 29, to solve their problems in that position. Metro
Reading striker Pavel Pogrebnyak, 29, could join Russian side Zenit St Petersburg in order to trim the club's wage bill should they be relegated from the Premier League. Daily Mirror
Liverpool have rejected loan bids from Championship sides Leeds, Cardiff and Bolton for struggling 18-year-old winger Raheem Sterling. Daily Mirror
Chelsea have said that Atletico Madrid will have to pay £17m for 20-year-old Belgian goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois, who has spent close to two seasons on loan at the Spanish club and is yet to play for his parent club. Daily Star
Arsenal are keen on St Etienne striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, 23, after receiving positive scouting reports from former player Gilles Grimandi. Sun
But the Gabon international is also attracting the interest of Chelsea, who may look to bolster their attacking options in the summer. DSSC
QPR boss Harry Redknapp may give the goalkeeping gloves to Robert Green after Julio Cesar's display in Saturday's 3-2 defeat by Aston Villa. DSSC
Arsenal's victories against Bayern Munich and Swansea came after the team's defence decided to sit down and review their poor performance against Tottenham on video. Daily Telegraph
The Metropolitan police is investigating incidents of coin-throwing by West Ham supporters at Chelsea, with captain John Terry and midfielder Frank Lampard both targeted. Guardian
Reading caretaker manager Eamonn Dolan is getting increasing support from the club's players to carry on as boss until the end of the season following Brian McDermott's sacking. Sun
Former Southampton manager Nigel Adkins is in line to take over at Leicester should under-fire boss Nigel Pearson lose his job at the Foxes. Daily Mirror
Real Madrid will offer midfielder Sami Khedira, 25, a three-year extension to his contract at the end of the season. His deal expires in 2015. ABC
Former Chelsea striker Dider Drogba has ruled out a return to Marseille, but said he will always have love for the club. Sport 24
Barcelona's Adriano Correia will miss the first leg of the Champions League quarter-final against Paris St-Germain with a torn hamstring. Marca
Play was interrupted during Blackburn's 1-1 draw with Burnley when fans let a chicken onto the pitch in protest against Blackburn owners Venky's, who own a poultry firm. It is the second time this has happened after a similar incident against Wigan last season. Sun
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