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Just seen a post match interview with the granny shagger on skysports news. Is it just me that thinks that he is getting uglier and more retarded by the day? I would suggest calling him Shrek is actually an insult to shrek. He has a face even a mother can't love.

Gobsmacked he can actually string a coherent sentence together. Maybe he was once hit in the head by a football at Swansea?

nottsblue wrote:Gobsmacked he can actually string a coherent sentence together. Maybe he was once hit in the head by a football at Swansea?

Coherent? I never understood a word he said.

What's worse than Shrek? John merrick?

MilnersJaw wrote:What's worse than Shrek? John merrick?

Steve Bruce.

What chance on earth is there that Rooney won't also be one big fat pile of shite within about 6 months of retiring from football ?

What a mess he will be. He'll end up on Jeremy Kyle's show.

Think you're being optimistic there. 6 months after retirement? Suspect if he actually had a bad injury that laid him off for 6/9 months he would be finished. He's a fat fuck now, a year of eating & not training & he'd be like a prop forward without the pace. No doubt the dumb rag lovers at Sky would find a job for him. If Carragher, Merse & Crerand can get gigs there theres hope for him

nottsblue wrote:Think you're being optimistic there. 6 months after retirement? Suspect if he actually had a bad injury that laid him off for 6/9 months he would be finished. He's a fat fuck now, a year of eating & not training & he'd be like a prop forward without the pace. No doubt the dumb rag lovers at Sky would find a job for him. If Carragher, Merse & Crerand can get gigs there theres hope for him

Good player though isn't he?

The guy fits more "erm's" into a sentence than Adrian Chiles, that is some achievement.

Douglas Higginbottom wrote:
Good player though isn't he?

Aye. I'll give the ugly twat that. He is a game changer in the Tevez mould & always puts a shift in. Would love a player of his calibre here. Just not him.

He'll be worse than this guy:

WC 1994:


Now:

Douglas Higginbottom wrote:

nottsblue wrote:Think you're being optimistic there. 6 months after retirement? Suspect if he actually had a bad injury that laid him off for 6/9 months he would be finished. He's a fat fuck now, a year of eating & not training & he'd be like a prop forward without the pace. No doubt the dumb rag lovers at Sky would find a job for him. If Carragher, Merse & Crerand can get gigs there theres hope for him

Good player though isn't he?

average at best. 90% of his goals come from tap ins, watch him 'graft' he runs around like a headless chicken and gives the ball away countless times.

i've yet to see him beat a defender without skying it or passing it like a little bitch.

MilnersJaw wrote:

Douglas Higginbottom wrote:

nottsblue wrote:Think you're being optimistic there. 6 months after retirement? Suspect if he actually had a bad injury that laid him off for 6/9 months he would be finished. He's a fat fuck now, a year of eating & not training & he'd be like a prop forward without the pace. No doubt the dumb rag lovers at Sky would find a job for him. If Carragher, Merse & Crerand can get gigs there theres hope for him

Good player though isn't he?

average at best. 90% of his goals come from tap ins, watch him 'graft' he runs around like a headless chicken and gives the ball away countless times.

i've yet to see him beat a defender without skying it or passing it like a little bitch.

If his England header had fallen to Wellbeck he would have fluffed it, if any of Wellbeck's numerous chances (not just the open goal miss) had fallen to Rooney he would have been more likely to score than to not score. Obviously Wellbeck is shite (and fits your description of average at best) but Rooney isn't as bad as you want to believe.

MilnersJaw wrote:

Douglas Higginbottom wrote:

nottsblue wrote:Think you're being optimistic there. 6 months after retirement? Suspect if he actually had a bad injury that laid him off for 6/9 months he would be finished. He's a fat fuck now, a year of eating & not training & he'd be like a prop forward without the pace. No doubt the dumb rag lovers at Sky would find a job for him. If Carragher, Merse & Crerand can get gigs there theres hope for him

Good player though isn't he?

average at best. 90% of his goals come from tap ins, watch him 'graft' he runs around like a headless chicken and gives the ball away countless times.

i've yet to see him beat a defender without skying it or passing it like a little bitch.

Absolute bullshit.
90% of his goals come from tap ins? any proof for that? No thought not. Yeah that goal at our place was a tap in wasn't it?
He's scored 219 goals in 486 games or something, which is a fantastic record.
There's rivalry and then there's just plain bitterness and delusion.

Bridge'srightfoot wrote:Absolute bullshit.
90% of his goals come from tap ins? any proof for that? No thought not. Yeah that goal at our place was a tap in wasn't it?
He's scored 219 goals in 486 games or something, which is a fantastic record.
There's rivalry and then there's just plain bitterness and delusion.

Maybe but he also shags grannies and is a total rag cunt. The sooner he fucks off the better.

Breks wrote:

Bridge'srightfoot wrote:Absolute bullshit.
90% of his goals come from tap ins? any proof for that? No thought not. Yeah that goal at our place was a tap in wasn't it?
He's scored 219 goals in 486 games or something, which is a fantastic record.
There's rivalry and then there's just plain bitterness and delusion.

Maybe but he also shags grannies and is a total rag cunt. The sooner he fucks off the better.

I don't think anyone can reasonably argue with that.

Breks wrote:

Bridge'srightfoot wrote:Absolute bullshit.
90% of his goals come from tap ins? any proof for that? No thought not. Yeah that goal at our place was a tap in wasn't it?
He's scored 219 goals in 486 games or something, which is a fantastic record.
There's rivalry and then there's just plain bitterness and delusion.

Maybe but he also shags grannies and is a total rag cunt. The sooner he fucks off the better.

Which is why I didn't want him to stay at the Rags. They'll be far weaker when he leaves.

Bridge'srightfoot wrote:Absolute bullshit.
90% of his goals come from tap ins? any proof for that? No thought not. Yeah that goal at our place was a tap in wasn't it?
He's scored 219 goals in 486 games or something, which is a fantastic record.
There's rivalry and then there's just plain bitterness and delusion.

Sorry don't know how to find Rooney tap in statistics but everytime I watch the rags and if Shrek scores more often than not it's an easy tap in that any prem league striker would score bar wellshite.

Even my rag mates agree he scores a lot from them. Don't get me wrong his positioning is good , but it's more the team and service he gets than his amazing ability.

Also this isn't the first time you've wanked over Shrek, you praise far to often.
You're even referring to that one goal that Rooney himself never shuts up about. There is a reason Shrek never shuts up about it, because he can't believe he did it someone of his 'ability'.

Breks wrote:
Maybe but he also shags grannies and is a total rag cunt. The sooner he fucks off the better.

Ted Hughes wrote:
I don't think anyone can reasonably argue with that.

Bridge'srightfoot wrote:Which is why I didn't want him to stay at the Rags. They'll be far weaker when he leaves.

Interesting though that in summer when all was not well only Chelsea showed a modicum of interest & that was probably gamesmanship from Mourinho trying to upset the applecart. Suspect he had no real intention of actually buying the player. The offer was a low one & a win/win in that if it was accepted they have got him on cheap & if it isnt they have really lost anything.

Shrek will remain at Rags as no other club in UK can afford/will want him. Suspect Europe is out of equation. Realistically would he even fit in as a person into a different culture/lifestyle. Continental players probably dont go out to brothels fucking grannies then stop off a kebab shop on way home. Thats before his missus wouldnt want to leave country as shes close to her family. Lastly, is his style of play even suited to Barca, Real, Munich, Juventus et all?

MilnersJaw wrote:

Bridge'srightfoot wrote:Absolute bullshit.
90% of his goals come from tap ins? any proof for that? No thought not. Yeah that goal at our place was a tap in wasn't it?
He's scored 219 goals in 486 games or something, which is a fantastic record.
There's rivalry and then there's just plain bitterness and delusion.

Sorry don't know how to find Rooney tap in statistics but everytime I watch the rags and if Shrek scores more often than not it's an easy tap in that any prem league striker would score bar wellshite.

Even my rag mates agree he scores a lot from them. Don't get me wrong his positioning is good , but it's more the team and service he gets than his amazing ability.

Also this isn't the first time you've wanked over Shrek, you praise far to often.
You're even referring to that one goal that Rooney himself never shuts up about. There is a reason Shrek never shuts up about it, because he can't believe he did it someone of his 'ability'.

So let's do some research. This season Rooney's scored 7 goals. 3 of them were free kicks. One was a one on one and the other was a volley from a cross. Included in the 7 is 2 for England, one was a good header last night and one was you could say a 'tap in' against Montenegro. Where he reacted quickly to score.
So 1 'tap in' in 7 goals. Just under 15%. A mere 75% under your estimate. Is this just an anomaly? So you don't know how to find his statistics yet you've made a claim that 90% of his goals are tap ins? You've made a ridiculous claim now back it up please? But here's something for you mate. The only way he'll end up this season with 90% of his goals being tap ins, is if he scores another 53 goals, all of which being tap ins. If he scores that many more however, I don't think anyone will mind that they weren't amazing goals.
It's an absolute bullshit statistic you made up. And average at best? Well how high are your standards?
And yes he does score a lot of simple goals. But so does any top striker. Quick reactions and positional play are hugely important for a striker. Better to score ten tap ins a season than 5 amazing goals.
But that's a moot point anyway because he scores plenty of good goals.

As I've said Im all for rivalry and calling him an ugly granny shagger etc but if you think he's an 'average at best footballer' and pull out 'stats' from thin air based on 'your Rag mate' You need your fucking head checked.

He's a very good player but also a massive cunt...one of those 'you'd rather him on your side then up against you' types...but still a massive cunt nonetheless.

Think that just about sums it up for me.