Joe Hart's Face

[Ted Hughes]

Just been reading the kit thread a bit & that kind of made me think about my views on the whole modern football/matchday experience etc etc, then I remembered the Joe Hart interview from a week or two ago. Was dead busy & out of the country a fair bit, so didn't mention it.

Basically, it looked like someone had started with about 500 grade wet & dry paper, possibly done a pore fill, then gradualy worked upto 1000, 1500, upto about 3,000 grade for a super smooth finish, buffed to a deep shine then, after painting on the eyebrows, sprayed on a few coats of polyeurothane laquer, of course with suitable hanging time inbetween.

In short, he was a fucking plastic fucking doll. It made me want to throw up.

He made Ronaldo look like Danny fucking Tredjo.

I'm sorry, I don't care how much money he gets from image rights etc; anyone who wants to look like that for a fucking football interview, has got a problem.

I love football but I'm starting to wonder if the whole modern day football thing just isn't really 'me' anymore.

[dazby]

Interesting.

[clevblue]

maybe he's just not very photogenic. I'm very handsome in real life, but on photos I look like a turd

[Hutch's Shoulder]

maybe he's just not very photogenic. I'm very handsome in real life, but on photos I look like a turd

I'm the same except I dont look good in real life either.

[Kiss_The_Goat]

I think someones got a little crush on England's #1! ;)

[lets all have a disco]

Picture or it didn't happen.

[MilnersJaw]

Joe has got to go. Not wash and go, just gone.

[Benjay]

According to the London Metro today Pellers wants to swap Hart for Lloris.

[Alioune DVToure]

Weirdest topic for a while, which takes some doing on here.

[Moonchesteri]

I think someones got a little crush on England's #1! ;)

deffo sounds like a big man crush which somebody is still afraid to admit! ;o)

[DoomMerchant]

deffo sounds like a big man crush which somebody is still afraid to admit! ;o)

Seriously. Who is that obsessed with how pretty a keeper is?

Bizarre stuff. What's next?

[Foreverinbluedreams]

deffo sounds like a big man crush which somebody is still afraid to admit! ;o)

Seriously. Who is that obsessed with how pretty a keeper is?

Bizarre stuff. What's next?

Yaya's heart? No, we've had that!

Demichelis' hair? No, we've had that too!

Vinnie's fivehead?

[Hutch's Shoulder]

Hart's face's distribution is rubbish as welll

[Ted Hughes]

It's not about how pretty he looked, it's about how fucking plastic he looked. I've never seen any fucker anywhere so fucking plastic headed as Joe Hart on that programme. It was fucking horrible & the bloke must have sat there for ages, whilst they basically fucking varnished his face, then gone "yeah that looks great".

When they showed it from an angle, it looked like there was a 2mil film of fucking varnish stuck over him.

Beckham has basically never even got close to this level of smarm. And wouldn't do as it was just really weird & plastic looking.

I can only assume most haven't seen this, as he looked like I fucking Robot, & it was actually disturbing.

[DoomMerchant]

It's not about how pretty he looked, it's about how fucking plastic he looked. I've never seen any fucker anywhere so fucking plastic headed as Joe Hart on that programme. It was fucking horrible & the bloke must have sat there for ages, whilst they basically fucking varnished his face, then gone "yeah that looks great".

When they showed it from an angle, it looked like there was a 2mil film of fucking varnish stuck over him.

Beckham has basically never even got close to this level of smarm. And wouldn't do as it was just really weird & plastic looking.

I can only assume most haven't seen this, as he looked like I fucking Robot, & it was actually disturbing.

And he digs a deeper, 5- paragraph hole.

Related, I kinda wish I was Ryan Gosling for a weekend sometimes. It's cool brah!

[LookMumImOnMCF.net]

No wonder he doesn't save every fucking shot that he faces. The twat.

[Nigels Tackle]

ted... is this you???
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WaYI7Y-Yotc

[PeterParker]

Does the Mafia have any involvment in this?

[Original Dub]

Does the Mafia have any involvment in this?

Jesus I hope not.

I moved over here after the last story about them.

[Herb]

deffo sounds like a big man crush which somebody is still afraid to admit! ;o)

Seriously. Who is that obsessed with how pretty a keeper is?

Bizarre stuff. What's next?

The keeper is obsessed with how pretty the keeper is . . . and that's the problem - he should be focused on being a keeper but his hair and skin-tone foundation occupy his every thought.

We should swap him for Lloris (who doesn't give a fuck about his looks - obviously).