The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

[Beefymcfc]

http://news.sky.com/story/wayne-rooney-arrested-for-drink-driving-11015598

Not that drink driving is funny, but hope its true

Now reported on BBC. They describe him as 'Everton's Rooney'. Had it been us, would be ex-City Rooney. Rags not mentioned till last two words of report.

The police were going to throw the book at him. Until someone pointed out the thick fucker can't read

Feel sorry for his missus. Pregnant with another one of the dickhead kids. Just fucking divorce the horrible fucker and take his money

Really?

She accepted him back after he was found knobbing a Grandma when she was pregnant and now he's pissed, driving back from wherever, in her car, in the early hours of the morning. I wonder why they pulled him over, and now?

Let's not forget, the Dibble know who they are pulling over before they even get out of the car. They knew who the car belonged to, maybe they were waiting for him to change clubs.

[Nigels Tackle]

http://news.sky.com/story/wayne-rooney-arrested-for-drink-driving-11015598

Not that drink driving is funny, but hope its true

Now reported on BBC. They describe him as 'Everton's Rooney'. Had it been us, would be ex-City Rooney. Rags not mentioned till last two words of report.

The police were going to throw the book at him. Until someone pointed out the thick fucker can't read

Feel sorry for his missus. Pregnant with another one of the dickhead kids. Just fucking divorce the horrible fucker and take his money

Really?

She accepted him back after he was found knobbing a Grandma when she was pregnant and now he's pissed, driving back from wherever, in her car, in the early hours of the morning. I wonder why they pulled him over, and now?

Let's not forget, the Dibble know who they are pulling over before they even get out of the car. They knew who the car belonged to, maybe they were waiting for him to change clubs.

was it his car? or did it belong to the bird he was driving 'home'?

[Beefymcfc]

Bwaahhhhhh!

[Beefymcfc]

Now reported on BBC. They describe him as 'Everton's Rooney'. Had it been us, would be ex-City Rooney. Rags not mentioned till last two words of report.

The police were going to throw the book at him. Until someone pointed out the thick fucker can't read

Feel sorry for his missus. Pregnant with another one of the dickhead kids. Just fucking divorce the horrible fucker and take his money

Really?

She accepted him back after he was found knobbing a Grandma when she was pregnant and now he's pissed, driving back from wherever, in her car, in the early hours of the morning. I wonder why they pulled him over, and now?

Let's not forget, the Dibble know who they are pulling over before they even get out of the car. They knew who the car belonged to, maybe they were waiting for him to change clubs.

was it his car? or did it belong to the bird he was driving 'home'?

I was sort of inferring the same, if you know what I mean.

He's a little cunt, and his Mrs is just there for the money. Wonder if she'll get another M&S gig after this latest event?

[johnny crossan]

Watch on youtube.com

[nottsblue]

Watch on youtube.com

The lad at the end whipping off his shirt to reveal a Chelsea shirt

[nottsblue]

http://news.sky.com/story/wayne-rooney-arrested-for-drink-driving-11015598

Not that drink driving is funny, but hope its true

Now reported on BBC. They describe him as 'Everton's Rooney'. Had it been us, would be ex-City Rooney. Rags not mentioned till last two words of report.

The police were going to throw the book at him. Until someone pointed out the thick fucker can't read

Feel sorry for his missus. Pregnant with another one of the dickhead kids. Just fucking divorce the horrible fucker and take his money

Really?

She accepted him back after he was found knobbing a Grandma when she was pregnant and now he's pissed, driving back from wherever, in her car, in the early hours of the morning. I wonder why they pulled him over, and now?

Let's not forget, the Dibble know who they are pulling over before they even get out of the car. They knew who the car belonged to, maybe they were waiting for him to change clubs.

Not his first time getting caught in an old banger after a few drinks

[Mikhail Chigorin]

Just been thinking; as far as I'm aware, the new traffic fines/punishment system also takes some account of the income of the transgressor, insofar as the bigger the income, potentially the heavier the punishment.

Because of his monster salary, apart from the seriousness of the offence, I wonder if it's theoretically possible for Shrek to incur a prison sentence over this ??

[Mikhail Chigorin]

Just been thinking; as far as I'm aware, the new traffic fines/punishment system also takes some account of the income of the transgressor, insofar as the bigger the income, potentially the heavier the punishment.

Because of his monster salary, apart from the seriousness of the offence, I wonder if it's theoretically possible for Shrek to incur a prison sentence over this ??

Scratch that; I'm getting 'cross-hoppled' with my facts and I'm spouting garbage......please ignore.

However, if Shrek were to incur a fine over this, he'll find it easier to pay it than the average man in the street so, in such cases, the question arises as to how to make the punishment one which will seriously affect the miscreant ??

[nottsblue]

Chelsea sign Danny Drinkwater
Everton sign Wayne Drinkdriver

[Mikhail Chigorin]

Chelsea sign Danny Drinkwater
Everton sign Wayne Drinkdriver

Nice one NB.

[patrickblue]

In typical daily fail fashion it goes on and on, but it is funny.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... shame.html

[Hutch's Shoulder]

In typical daily fail fashion it goes on and on, but it is funny.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... shame.html

If true, his chat-up technique is a bit basic: What size are they. Are they real? I'd like to get my hands on them.

But I suppose being worth 30m adds extra lustre.

[CTID Hants]

In typical daily fail fashion it goes on and on, but it is funny.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... shame.html

If true, his chat-up technique is a bit basic: What size are they. Are they real? I'd like to get my hands on them.

But I suppose being worth 30m adds extra lustre.

you'd have thought with his cash, he'd learn how to be discreet, I'm sure there are 'service providers' who can accommodate the likes of Rooney.

Thick fucker deserves everything coming his way

As for her wanting a sugar daddy, she earns 40k a year, is that not enough? She wouldn't have given him a second look if he wasn't rich and famous the skanky little hoar.

Sad thing is, his missus won't kick him out after yet another pants down moment by the ugly cunt

[Mikhail Chigorin]

In typical daily fail fashion it goes on and on, but it is funny.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... shame.html

If true, his chat-up technique is a bit basic: What size are they. Are they real? I'd like to get my hands on them.

But I suppose being worth 30m adds extra lustre.

you'd have thought with his cash, he'd learn how to be discreet, I'm sure there are 'service providers' who can accommodate the likes of Rooney.

Thick fucker deserves everything coming his way

As for her wanting a sugar daddy, she earns 40k a year, is that not enough? She wouldn't have given him a second look if he wasn't rich and famous the skanky little hoar.

Sad thing is, his missus won't kick him out after yet another pants down moment by the ugly cunt

She might get up to similar escapades herself, although perhaps a little more discreetly than Shrek. Who knows ??

'Saving' herself in bed, solely for big lugs' pleasure, might be a very difficult proposition indeed.

[Justified logic]

Latest picture of Ms Simpson & Wayne...

[Mikhail Chigorin]

In typical daily fail fashion it goes on and on, but it is funny.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... shame.html

You're right PB, it's rivalling War and Peace in its tome like length.

[iwasthere2012]

Tome is right.

Quick version.

Headline: Pissed as a fart, Caught with a tart.
Subtext: Colleen away, Rats will play.
Man Utd. Reject Wayne Rooney, gets caught offside at home, again.

And in line with JC's valuation piece;

Not only had Mr. Rooney drank more than he should have, but it looks like he ate more than his fare share of the Mars Bars too......

Apparently!

[Mikhail Chigorin]

Tome is right.

Quick version.

Headline: Pissed as a fart, Caught with a tart.
Subtext: Colleen away, Rats will play.
Man Utd. Reject Wayne Rooney, gets caught offside at home, playing away, again.

And in line with JC's valuation piece;

Not only had Mr. Rooney drank more than he should have, but it looks like he ate more than his fare share of the Mars Bars too......

Apparently!

Just edited it a little further IWT, for slightly more accuracy; otherwise, an excellent synopsis.

[carl_feedthegoat]

Watch on youtube.com

I have to put this clip in this thread as its fucking hilarious.