The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby Beefymcfc » Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:36 pm

AG7 wrote:
Beefymcfc wrote:
nottsblue wrote:
Beefymcfc wrote:Neymar, Edison, still pmsl.

Cunts!

I know mate.

Neymar for £165m + wages of £75m over five years had me pissing myself. And we ruined football. Lol

It's just the absolute bullshit that is written, whether by the Rags or the media.

A few years back you could get it, quite believe it, but things have changed. Otamendi & Pedro have proved that. 'Istreee no longer matters.

It's fucking hilarious ;-)


Well, "History is on our side" given the guys we are buying ... lets take Sterling as an example ... he is what 20? 4/5 years ago, he was 15/16, and that's when Agueroooooo happened ... and since then we have been in top 1 or 2 ... he didn't give a fuck to Liverpool's history, because he didn't see jack shit about them. Give it another couple of years and players coming through in their early 20s wouldn't remember Scum winning anything either ...

It's only the old cunts in media, all ex liverpool players and now pundits or the executives from the era of Scum dominating the league that keep upping them. Ask the youngish players coming up and they really don't care about either of those two "istree" clubs.

Spot on pal and they are becoming more and more irrelevant as the days go by.

It'll take a while but I'm confident in saying that our time will come, and come, and come.

Just imagine the day when the Rags are punditting on MotD to City's 20th? That's how Lawro felt a few years back.

Wonderful.
In the words of my Old Man, "Life will never be the same without Man City, so get it in while you can".

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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby CTID Hants » Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:53 pm

I like this lad Jack Lang....

Why would Neymar want to join Manchester United


It would take a huge leap of faith to imagine the Brazilian being keen on a transfer to Old Trafford, writes Jack Lang

If you've been keeping even half an eye on the all-consuming behemoth that is the summer transfer window, you'll know that there's a hot new rumour doing the rounds.

It involves Manchester United and Neymar, whose international agent, Pini Zahavi, was spotted at Old Trafford at the weekend. It supposedly involves a bid of €190million, the value of the striker's buyout clause at Barcelona.

Mainly, though, it involves the kind of suspension of belief that would put the world's most ardent Scientologists to shame.

Not because it is hard to imagine United harbouring ambitions of signing Neymar – heaven knows Ed Woodward is a dreamer – but because it is difficult to see why on earth Neymar would harbour ambitions of playing for Manchester United.

Let's compare and contrast
The Brazilian plays for a team who secured a historic treble last season and must be considered the best side in the world. Manchester United are not even the best team in their city.

He lines up alongside Luis Suarez, Andres Iniesta and Lionel Messi, for whom his admiration has been obvious dating back to his time at Santos. At Manchester United, he would play alongside Wayne Rooney, a man who forgot how to play football three years ago and whose potential educational value – aside from as a cautionary tale about the perils of burnout – is probably minimal.
Then there are the coaches: would this most enigmatic, instinctive of players willingly trade the freedom afforded to him by Luis Enrique for a taste of Louis van Gaal's pass-pass-turn-around-pass-rinse-repeat human jigsaw puzzle?

It is not as if Neymar's progress has been anything less than stellar at Barcelona, either. Since arriving in Catalonia, he has made a mockery of those who had him down as a flighty YouTube trickster. His goal record last season – 39 in 51 games – speaks of a player growing in stature, while all evidence points to his being settled in Spain. His former girlfriend and his son, Davi Lucca, are considering moving to Barcelona to be closer to him.

Why would he possibly forego all of that?
Really, there are only two possible reasons he would even consider it. The first is money: Neymar's dad/agent/puppet master has already proven himself to be a wheeler-dealer of the most depressing sort and it would be little surprise if he pressed for a move it was financially beneficial.

But then... come on. According to Forbes, Neymar earns over $30million a year between wages and sponsorship deals, a figure that will only rise as his career goes on. Surely even Neymar Sr's nefarious influence could not convince the forward to sacrifice so much for an extra few million pounds over the length of a contract.

The second thing is prestige: the certainty that he would be the main attraction rather than a member of the supporting cast. Perhaps he fancies stepping out of Messi's shadow.
Ah yes, the hardship of playing – and thriving – alongside the best player of all time. How hard it must be to get up in the morning, knowing you're destined to score only hundreds of goals and make hundreds of assists for a team that is more or less guaranteed to remain among Europe's top few clubs over the next decade.

Neymar has never indicated that he is unhappy with his situation at Barça. On the contrary, he has repeatedly stressed his admiration for Messi and his other team-mates. "I learn so much from him every day," he said in May. The Brazilian, for all the glitz and glamour, appears to have his head screwed on tightly. He knows it's better to play bass for the Beatles than be the lead singer of Nickelback.

The crux of the matter is this: if Neymar does want to leave Barcelona for Manchester United, he is either greedy beyond belief or an egotist of the highest order. Unfortunately for hopeful Red Devils supporters, there has been little evidence that he is either of those things.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/ ... er-6314957
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby nottsblue » Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:46 am

Van Gaal announced the rags new forward last night.

Bogbrush.

You seriously could not make this shit up.

So, if the rags need a goal, just lump it up to bogbrush. Money well spent at the swamp indeed
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby AG7 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:00 am

nottsblue wrote:Van Gaal announced the rags new forward last night.

Bogbrush.

You seriously could not make this shit up.

So, if the rags need a goal, just lump it up to bogbrush. Money well spent at the swamp indeed


I had just turned on TV and Mark on Sky morning was saying LvG has announced a midfielder will play up front alongside Rooney in an attacking role tonight and this change won't only be for tonight but for the whole season ... coming up next ... and then they have gone on break and I was thinking who would it be ... then I opened this, literally fell off my chair laughing ... sky's still on break btw!
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby AG7 » Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:36 pm



@PeteSpencer007: Is that an Austin travelling north to OT? Betfred slash odds from 25/1 to 1/2 on Charlie to Reds rescue. Big bets in last hour
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby AG7 » Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:38 pm

Müller X
Cavani X
Pedro X
Neymar X
Bale X
De Bruyne X
Robben X
Ibrahimovic X
Lewandowski X
Dybala X
Lacazette X
Benzema X

Charlie Austin YES, finally!!!!!

(Hope QPR charge £20m and not a penny less now for coming in this late)
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby nottsblue » Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:41 pm

Looking forward to deadline day and the players they will first be linked to, then snubbed.
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby Slim » Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:47 pm

I made this as a joke to a rag mate of mine ages ago. OMG if this comes true he'll never hear the end of it.
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby Chopper » Sun Aug 30, 2015 11:29 pm

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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby bigblue » Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:36 am

I can easily see them finishing 3rd in their champs league group and playing in the Europa Leage, which would be incredibly funny

a few years ago we got endless shit from scum fans for 'playing on a thrusday night in a fake cup'. Now they've spent 300 million quid in the past 2 years and look more at home vs mid-table sides. If you had to pick out who was the top 4 team last night, almost everyone would have guessed Swansea, as the rags were playing hoofball for the last 20 mins to a lumbering giant.

What they fuck have they and red scouse spent all their money on? Loads of completely average players for 20 million a pop. Forget signing Pedro/Neymar/Muller... just picing up someone like Andre Ayew for free would have added a huge amount to their piss poor team
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby City64 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:05 am

SSN slaughtering Van Oblong head this morning . Showing the after match presser at Swansea where he walked out in a rage . Wedderburn loving it all ......... top class viewing , fuck me life is good lol
Not really here

Fuck VAR
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby sheblue » Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:04 pm

What the fuck is van eel face doing with all those folders and notebooks at games? Are they for X's and O's?
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby Dwaring » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:03 pm

which gives a better laugh Austin or Adebayor? PANIC at OT.
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby nottsblue » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:05 pm

Dwaring wrote:which gives a better laugh Austin or Adebayor? PANIC at OT.

Adebayor would be by far the funnier. Not even Carlsberg could arrange that
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby ENIAM NAM » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:00 pm

sheblue wrote:What the fuck is van eel face doing with all those folders and notebooks at games? Are they for X's and O's?

Crosses and nought's. Never heard of that one.!
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby AG7 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:29 pm

So confirmed so far is Hernandez (Chicarito) and Januzaj are confirmed out ... oh and so is De Gea ...

Who's confirmed in? Navas as part of the De Gea deal and that's it? And someone I haven't heard of before teenager for €50m is 'in advanced talks'??

Never thought this laughing thread will still be alive but after tomorrow this might be the longest thread of recent times ...
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby Bianchi on Ice » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:42 pm

AG7 wrote:So confirmed so far is Hernandez (Chicarito) and Januzaj are confirmed out ... oh and so is De Gea ...

Who's confirmed in? Navas as part of the De Gea deal and that's it? And someone I haven't heard of before teenager for €50m is 'in advanced talks'??

Never thought this laughing thread will still be alive but after tomorrow this might be the longest thread of recent times ...


I hope the press add the twix and latte woodward buys him during the talks onto the overall transfer fee. If the press do it with us, they should do it with them, only fair
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby AG7 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:45 pm

Biggest joke of the day is now LvG saying he didn't fancy De Gea and that's why it was he who stopped talks on his new contract and always fancied Navas ... ROFL.
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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby AG7 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:52 pm



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Re: The Laughing Thread

Postby Blue Since 76 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:08 pm

No idea how to post a proper twitter link, but I liked this:

Wayne Rooney has now scored the same number of league goals this season as Hart, Courtois, Cech and Mignolet combined.
What drought?
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