The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

[johnny crossan]

https://twitter.com/swifto78/status/1453297672161566727?s=21

[nottsblue]

https://twitter.com/swifto78/status/1453297672161566727?s=21

One of the rare sensible and true things Mills has ever contributed

[Scatman]

Haha talking of meltdowns, the rag meltdown continues as vibes coming from the toilet suggest ole has a stay of execution. We just need to be thankful and give praise for every day that he hangs on now, enjoy this while it lasts.

Two decent draws against Atalanta and Spurs should be enough to keep our friend Ole at the Wheel for the derby. In the Glaziers we trust.

Hmm, let's all not get hard ons just yet, I can't remember us beating rags in the league for a long time, that tactic of bus parking and hoofing up to players who can run fast has seen our demise on a few occasions against rags

The ability to make those slight tweaks to the way he approaches games is what marks him out from Guardiola and gives him the edge

[Beefymcfc]

One thing about Ole is he knows what a derby means to the fans. He’ll get the rags riled up for it.

Off topic, where is City64 these days, what have you done to him Mase?

Either just gone out for beer before the West Ham game or still on the beer from the Brighton one!?

That made me chuckle. Man after my own heart.

[carl_feedthegoat]

I see the dippers are trying to keep salah on a 200 k plus wage but will give him a zillion bounds as a signing on fee .

That way they don’t fuck up their”wage bill” as they don’t want to be slagged off for paying him 500 k a week ,which in theory ,they will do anyway , but in a different form .

Muppets .


Hilarious .

[salford city]

I see the dippers are trying to keep salah on a 200 k plus wage but will give him a zillion bounds as a signing on fee .

That way they don’t fuck up their”wage bill” as they don’t want to be slagged off for paying him 500 k a week ,which in theory ,they will do anyway , but in a different form .

Muppets .


Hilarious .

Shot themselves in the foot with Klopp's comment of him being the best in the world. If that's so, you have to pay him to reflect that. Agree with you on the bonus v wage increase - presumably, the bonus amount will be grossed up to cover his taxes as well. All ends with them having him stay on their books with nowhere for him to go and no massive transfer fee to keep them top of the non-existent net spend league

[Mase]

I see the dippers are trying to keep salah on a 200 k plus wage but will give him a zillion bounds as a signing on fee .

That way they don’t fuck up their”wage bill” as they don’t want to be slagged off for paying him 500 k a week ,which in theory ,they will do anyway , but in a different form .

Muppets .


Hilarious .

Shot themselves in the foot with Klopp's comment of him being the best in the world. If that's so, you have to pay him to reflect that. Agree with you on the bonus v wage increase - presumably, the bonus amount will be grossed up to cover his taxes as well. All ends with them having him stay on their books with nowhere for him to go and no massive transfer fee to keep them top of the non-existent net spend league

Haha, imagine Salah and his agent just turn up to negotiations with a video of Klopp saying he’s the best in the world and then a list of salaries including Ronaldo and Messi’s

[salford city]

I see the dippers are trying to keep salah on a 200 k plus wage but will give him a zillion bounds as a signing on fee .

That way they don’t fuck up their”wage bill” as they don’t want to be slagged off for paying him 500 k a week ,which in theory ,they will do anyway , but in a different form .

Muppets .


Hilarious .

Shot themselves in the foot with Klopp's comment of him being the best in the world. If that's so, you have to pay him to reflect that. Agree with you on the bonus v wage increase - presumably, the bonus amount will be grossed up to cover his taxes as well. All ends with them having him stay on their books with nowhere for him to go and no massive transfer fee to keep them top of the non-existent net spend league

Haha, imagine Salah and his agent just turn up to negotiations with a video of Klopp saying he’s the best in the world and then a list of salaries including Ronaldo and Messi’s

That's the problem for them isn't it? He actually said it out loud. If you're Salah's, Klopp has just done your negotiating for you

[Mase]

I see the dippers are trying to keep salah on a 200 k plus wage but will give him a zillion bounds as a signing on fee .

That way they don’t fuck up their”wage bill” as they don’t want to be slagged off for paying him 500 k a week ,which in theory ,they will do anyway , but in a different form .

Muppets .


Hilarious .

Shot themselves in the foot with Klopp's comment of him being the best in the world. If that's so, you have to pay him to reflect that. Agree with you on the bonus v wage increase - presumably, the bonus amount will be grossed up to cover his taxes as well. All ends with them having him stay on their books with nowhere for him to go and no massive transfer fee to keep them top of the non-existent net spend league

Haha, imagine Salah and his agent just turn up to negotiations with a video of Klopp saying he’s the best in the world and then a list of salaries including Ronaldo and Messi’s

That's the problem for them isn't it? He actually said it out loud. If you're Salah's, Klopp has just done your negotiating for you

Exactly. Klopp actually said, “Name someone better than Salah”. Fuckin idiot.

[Harry Dowd scored]

One thing about Ole is he knows what a derby means to the fans. He’ll get the rags riled up for it.

Off topic, where is City64 these days, what have you done to him Mase?

I heard he tried to sign up for the KKK, but they rejected him for being too racist

[PeterParker]

One thing about Ole is he knows what a derby means to the fans. He’ll get the rags riled up for it.

Off topic, where is City64 these days, what have you done to him Mase?

I heard he tried to sign up for the KKK, but they rejected him for being too racist

Heard he got stuck in the e-ticket system on the official site.
We will see him again in 26 years like in Jumanji.

[Dimples]

I see the dippers are trying to keep salah on a 200 k plus wage but will give him a zillion bounds as a signing on fee .

That way they don’t fuck up their”wage bill” as they don’t want to be slagged off for paying him 500 k a week ,which in theory ,they will do anyway , but in a different form .

Muppets .


Hilarious .

Shot themselves in the foot with Klopp's comment of him being the best in the world. If that's so, you have to pay him to reflect that. Agree with you on the bonus v wage increase - presumably, the bonus amount will be grossed up to cover his taxes as well. All ends with them having him stay on their books with nowhere for him to go and no massive transfer fee to keep them top of the non-existent net spend league

Haha, imagine Salah and his agent just turn up to negotiations with a video of Klopp saying he’s the best in the world and then a list of salaries including Ronaldo and Messi’s

That's the problem for them isn't it? He actually said it out loud. If you're Salah's, Klopp has just done your negotiating for you

Exactly. Klopp actually said, “Name someone better than Salah”. Fuckin idiot.

Politics.
Klopp is supporting Salah in public and sending a warning to the owners.
It is a clear indication that the owners are reluctant to stump up the cash required to keep a 29 year old Salah.
You get paid for what you can deliver, not what you have delivered (that is water under the bridge).
The owners will not want to hand out a top $$$ 4 or 5 year contract to a 29 year old.

From a business perspective the owners stance makes perfect sense.

[Beefymcfc]

I see the dippers are trying to keep salah on a 200 k plus wage but will give him a zillion bounds as a signing on fee .

That way they don’t fuck up their”wage bill” as they don’t want to be slagged off for paying him 500 k a week ,which in theory ,they will do anyway , but in a different form .

Muppets .


Hilarious .

Shot themselves in the foot with Klopp's comment of him being the best in the world. If that's so, you have to pay him to reflect that. Agree with you on the bonus v wage increase - presumably, the bonus amount will be grossed up to cover his taxes as well. All ends with them having him stay on their books with nowhere for him to go and no massive transfer fee to keep them top of the non-existent net spend league

Haha, imagine Salah and his agent just turn up to negotiations with a video of Klopp saying he’s the best in the world and then a list of salaries including Ronaldo and Messi’s

That's the problem for them isn't it? He actually said it out loud. If you're Salah's, Klopp has just done your negotiating for you

Exactly. Klopp actually said, “Name someone better than Salah”. Fuckin idiot.

I think Klopp was saying to pay him whatever he wants because without him, and without the board wanting to spend and rebuild the squad, they will be going backwards very soon.

[Two's Kompany]

The Liverpool board face a real predicament with this one.
Salah is rightly being touted as the best player in the world at the moment, which means he'll want a contract to reflect that.
Now of course he isn't going to get £500k a week but he will definitely be looking for something beginning with a 3.
So they will have to pay it.
If they refuse the message to supporters and the rest of the squad is very clear. If he signs then Mane and Van Dijk will want some of it also.
Salah holds all the aces and his agent knows it. With every wonder goal/hat trick comes even greater exposure and greater pressure to tie him down. His agent will be having all sorts of offers thrown at him, so will be counting his commission as I write!

[Mase]

The Liverpool board face a real predicament with this one.
Salah is rightly being touted as the best player in the world at the moment, which means he'll want a contract to reflect that.
Now of course he isn't going to get £500k a week but he will definitely be looking for something beginning with a 3.
So they will have to pay it.
If they refuse the message to supporters and the rest of the squad is very clear. If he signs then Mane and Van Dijk will want some of it also.
Salah holds all the aces and his agent knows it. With every wonder goal/hat trick comes even greater exposure and greater pressure to tie him down. His agent will be having all sorts of offers thrown at him, so will be counting his commission as I write!

I think of Salah hasn’t re-signed by next summer then whichever teams don’t get Haaland will 100% go after Salah very strongly.

[carolina-blue]

I think of Salah hasn’t re-signed by next summer then whichever teams don’t get Haaland will 100% go after Salah very strongly.



How Fukin funny would that be if he rocked up here
The smell of piss boiling and candles burning would come up the M62 like a tornado

[PeterParker]

I think of Salah hasn’t re-signed by next summer then whichever teams don’t get Haaland will 100% go after Salah very strongly.



How Fukin funny would that be if he rocked up here
The smell of piss boiling and candles burning would come up the M62 like a tornado

We should talk with his agent just to piss off those miserable cunts.

[nottsblue]

I think of Salah hasn’t re-signed by next summer then whichever teams don’t get Haaland will 100% go after Salah very strongly.



How Fukin funny would that be if he rocked up here
The smell of piss boiling and candles burning would come up the M62 like a tornado

We should talk with his agent just to piss off those miserable cunts.

He is going nowhere. He will get his money, one way or another. It may not be the eye watering 500k per week being mooted but as the “best player in the world” it’s a figure he would warrant. A point which won’t have been lost by Salah, his entourage and the boardroom at Anfield. It could be compromised of a hefty signing on bonus, sponsorship deals, goals bonus etc. there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

Back in the days of maximum wage the players would have been given ‘bonuses’ by the club chairman and board. Things like best meat from the butcher from the board, holidays, furniture and the like. Back when the owners and stakeholders in the clubs were rich, local businessmen!

No way are the dippers going to let him run his contract down and at 29, this is his last chance at a payday. He basically holds four aces and the dipper board are gonna need to be inventive with how they pay Salah what he wants whilst keeping to their “wage budget”

But I don’t see any benefit in us trying to go him. We won’t get him as we ourselves are not gonna pay those figures and all that would happen is the stories of how Salah snubbed us will be rubbed in our noses. Great player who would make us even better mind, but it’s simply a non starter

[Scatman]

I think of Salah hasn’t re-signed by next summer then whichever teams don’t get Haaland will 100% go after Salah very strongly.



How Fukin funny would that be if he rocked up here
The smell of piss boiling and candles burning would come up the M62 like a tornado

We should talk with his agent just to piss off those miserable cunts.

If we do that the United will sign him

[zuricity]

I think of Salah hasn’t re-signed by next summer then whichever teams don’t get Haaland will 100% go after Salah very strongly.



How Fukin funny would that be if he rocked up here
The smell of piss boiling and candles burning would come up the M62 like a tornado

We should talk with his agent just to piss off those miserable cunts.

If we do that the United will sign him

That's alright, United have a habit of ruining the careers of footballers.