The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Mikhail Chigorin » Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:41 pm

Peter Doherty (AGAIG) wrote:
Nigels Tackle wrote:
Peter Doherty (AGAIG) wrote:Pictures of Lukaku's first training session have been posted on the rag website

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the classic dzonkey clip
one of the best on the internet

Apparently, part of the add-ons includes £10 thousand to Everton every time Lukaku traps the ball successfully. Everton are expecting to make as much as £20 thousand from this revenue stream over the course of Lukaku's 5-year contract.


:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Nigels Tackle » Mon Jul 10, 2017 10:07 pm

soon to be rebranded as mandem united
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby PrezIke » Tue Jul 11, 2017 2:32 am

Propaganda machine is in full swing...here in the states as well, of course because they are here now, and in LA, where ESPNFC is based....

It's like they've signed a proven, can't miss, world class, big game player.

Mourinho passed on Lacazette because he's not a big game player? Jose loves to take his digs at Wenger, but Lukaku has yet to show himself to be such a player at this point in his career. He was invisible in last years Euros and was what led him to stay at Everton another season when he was pushing to leave. Against big opponents I cannot really recall him coming up.

And then that he has approval from Ibrahimavic to wear no. 9. LOL. He played one season for them, and is gone for good. I guess that is all that is required today to attain legend status for their club nowadays...
Last edited by PrezIke on Tue Jul 11, 2017 2:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby PrezIke » Tue Jul 11, 2017 2:37 am

Oh right, and Shrek didn't want to go to China only because he wants to get back into the England team...hahaha

That's it. Nothing more to it, of course. Brilliant plan for him as well. :lol:
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby john@staustell » Tue Jul 11, 2017 4:52 am

I'm a little baffled. If Shrek is so anxious and keen to join Everton, if he loves the club so much, why did he fuck off to Scum in the first place?

Simply a case of another player desperate to get away from the no-longer-special one.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby patrickblue » Tue Jul 11, 2017 7:27 am

Everyone knows that Shrek's first and only true love is Everton.
Didn't he once say "Once a blue, always a blue"?
And didn't he sacrifice himself and move to the rags for big bucks to save his beloved Everton from going broke?
Hasn't he cried himself to sleep in his Everton jim-jams for the last 13 years?

And didn't he refuse to kiss the rag badge when he scored at Goodison

DID HE FULK.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Green & Blue » Tue Jul 11, 2017 8:00 pm

Michael Carrick the new captain of the Rags.

I'm shocked by that I'd of thought he'd be headed for the scrap heap.

90 mill for Lukaku, Carrick the captain, what's next?
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby CTID Hants » Tue Jul 11, 2017 10:44 pm

Green & Blue wrote:Michael Carrick the new captain of the Rags.

I'm shocked by that I'd of thought he'd be headed for the scrap heap.

90 mill for Lukaku, Carrick the captain, what's next?


35yr old handed captaincy shows Maureens short termism, certainly goes against the "Utd way"....
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby nottsblue » Wed Jul 12, 2017 7:22 am

Green & Blue wrote:Michael Carrick the new captain of the Rags.

I'm shocked by that I'd of thought he'd be headed for the scrap heap.

90 mill for Lukaku, Carrick the captain, what's next?

Mourinho is being praised for his handling of Shrek and his subsequent transfer. WTF
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Dimples » Sun Jul 16, 2017 9:56 pm

'...Everton have spent a lot of money but they appear to have spent wisely...'
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footba ... -mind.html

Rooney = money spent wisely - ha ha ha

This from an article slating us for the money we paid to get Walker.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby rosbif cuisson 'bleu' » Fri Jul 28, 2017 8:56 am

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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby john@staustell » Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:40 am

Sky have just woken up to Rags signing Matic.

I mean really? He's gone as a player and surely some daft fee involved
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Original Dub » Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:49 am

SSN reporting that the rags are close to signing matic.

But they don't seem to know the fee. Odd, because they always know the fee when it's us.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Mikhail Chigorin » Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:38 am

Original Dub wrote:SSN reporting that the rags are close to signing matic.

But they don't seem to know the fee. Odd, because they always know the fee when it's us.


There's a Sun headline on Google which is quoting £50 million, whilst the MuEN are understandably stating a better looking lower figure of £40 million.

Either way, excellent business from a Chelsea perspective, for a player who will turn 29 on Tuesday.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby nottsblue » Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:46 am

Original Dub wrote:SSN reporting that the rags are close to signing matic.

But they don't seem to know the fee. Odd, because they always know the fee when it's us.

Correction. They always think they know the fee. They don't. They usually include all the potential add ons and anything else they can dream up.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby john@staustell » Mon Jul 31, 2017 9:48 am

Mikhail Chigorin wrote:
Original Dub wrote:SSN reporting that the rags are close to signing matic.

But they don't seem to know the fee. Odd, because they always know the fee when it's us.


There's a Sun headline on Google which is quoting £50 million, whilst the MuEN are understandably stating a better looking lower figure of £40 million.

Either way, excellent business from a Chelsea perspective, for a player who will turn 29 on Tuesday.


I firmly believe Matic is 'gone' from the excellent player of 3 years ago or so. One of the main liabilities when it all went tits up for Maureen at Chelsea. The whole transfer is a mystery for me. Madness.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Justified logic » Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:28 pm

Jones & Blind charged by UEFA over doping violations after EL final. Jones banned for 2 games, Blind...?

DM wrote:Manchester United defender Phil Jones has been banned for two matches after he verbally abused officials at a drugs test following the club’s Europa League Final victory.

The defender, 25, will miss the Super Cup Final against Real Madrid and United’s first Champions League match. Jones was an unused substitute in the May final, a 2-0 victory over Ajax.

Sportsmail understands Jones gave blood and urine samples but expressed frustration to officials after he missed a dressing room photoshoot aimed at honouring the victims of the Manchester terror attack as a result.

Jones was also fined £4475 along with team mate Daley Blind, who was accompanied by a UEFA chaperone to the photoshoot, but was charged with not immediately reporting the doping control station.

United themselves were fined £8951. Jones was charged for insulting and directing abusive language towards the Doping Control Officer, as well as for a lack of cooperation and respect towards the doping control procedure’.

Fellow defender Blind was charged for ‘violation and non-compliance with Article 6.05 (a) of the UEFA Anti-Doping Regulations, which states that ‘every player designated to undergo as doping control is personally responsible for reporting immediately to the doping control station as notified’.

The rest of the squad, including Blind, posed for a photo to honour victims of the Manchester terror attack holding a banner which read: 'Manchester - A City United #PrayForManchester'.

The ban means Jones will be unavailable for United's European Super Cup final against Champions League holders Real Madrid, which takes place on August 8 in Skopje, Macedonia at the 33,000-capacity Philip II Arena.

He will also miss United's first match of the Champions League campaign, with their opponents yet to be determined. United have declined to comment on the ban.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Im_Spartacus » Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:37 pm

Justified logic wrote:Jones & Blind charged by UEFA over doping violations after EL final. Jones banned for 2 games, Blind...?

DM wrote:Manchester United defender Phil Jones has been banned for two matches after he verbally abused officials at a drugs test following the club’s Europa League Final victory.

The defender, 25, will miss the Super Cup Final against Real Madrid and United’s first Champions League match. Jones was an unused substitute in the May final, a 2-0 victory over Ajax.

Sportsmail understands Jones gave blood and urine samples but expressed frustration to officials after he missed a dressing room photoshoot aimed at honouring the victims of the Manchester terror attack as a result.

Jones was also fined £4475 along with team mate Daley Blind, who was accompanied by a UEFA chaperone to the photoshoot, but was charged with not immediately reporting the doping control station.

United themselves were fined £8951. Jones was charged for insulting and directing abusive language towards the Doping Control Officer, as well as for a lack of cooperation and respect towards the doping control procedure’.

Fellow defender Blind was charged for ‘violation and non-compliance with Article 6.05 (a) of the UEFA Anti-Doping Regulations, which states that ‘every player designated to undergo as doping control is personally responsible for reporting immediately to the doping control station as notified’.

The rest of the squad, including Blind, posed for a photo to honour victims of the Manchester terror attack holding a banner which read: 'Manchester - A City United #PrayForManchester'.

The ban means Jones will be unavailable for United's European Super Cup final against Champions League holders Real Madrid, which takes place on August 8 in Skopje, Macedonia at the 33,000-capacity Philip II Arena.

He will also miss United's first match of the Champions League campaign, with their opponents yet to be determined. United have declined to comment on the ban.


Fair play to them though. What does it matter that they are 5 minutes late to take a piss if they are chaperoned, don't blame Jones for going mad.
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Wooders » Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:49 pm

Yep - seems fair enough - suspect the term "jobs worth cunt" might have come into play
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Re: The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

Postby Hutch's Shoulder » Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:51 pm

Im_Spartacus wrote:
Justified logic wrote:Jones & Blind charged by UEFA over doping violations after EL final. Jones banned for 2 games, Blind...?

DM wrote:Manchester United defender Phil Jones has been banned for two matches after he verbally abused officials at a drugs test following the club’s Europa League Final victory.

The defender, 25, will miss the Super Cup Final against Real Madrid and United’s first Champions League match. Jones was an unused substitute in the May final, a 2-0 victory over Ajax.

Sportsmail understands Jones gave blood and urine samples but expressed frustration to officials after he missed a dressing room photoshoot aimed at honouring the victims of the Manchester terror attack as a result.

Jones was also fined £4475 along with team mate Daley Blind, who was accompanied by a UEFA chaperone to the photoshoot, but was charged with not immediately reporting the doping control station.

United themselves were fined £8951. Jones was charged for insulting and directing abusive language towards the Doping Control Officer, as well as for a lack of cooperation and respect towards the doping control procedure’.

Fellow defender Blind was charged for ‘violation and non-compliance with Article 6.05 (a) of the UEFA Anti-Doping Regulations, which states that ‘every player designated to undergo as doping control is personally responsible for reporting immediately to the doping control station as notified’.

The rest of the squad, including Blind, posed for a photo to honour victims of the Manchester terror attack holding a banner which read: 'Manchester - A City United #PrayForManchester'.

The ban means Jones will be unavailable for United's European Super Cup final against Champions League holders Real Madrid, which takes place on August 8 in Skopje, Macedonia at the 33,000-capacity Philip II Arena.

He will also miss United's first match of the Champions League campaign, with their opponents yet to be determined. United have declined to comment on the ban.


Fair play to them though. What does it matter that they are 5 minutes late to take a piss if they are chaperoned, don't blame Jones for going mad.


I bet the absence of Jones improved that photograph no end.
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