Thursday's B*ll*x

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Thursday's B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:41 am

THE BOLLOX

Manchester City defender Benjamin Mendy opts for high-tech pulse massage patterning to speed up rehab for nasty knee ligament injury
Manchester City defender Benjamin Mendy is turning to high-tech remedies when it comes to his knee ligament injury, hoping cutting edge science will speed up his return to the football pitch.
The £52million signing from Monaco was dealt a blow earlier in the season when he crumpled under a challenge during a Premier League clash with Crystal Palace.
Scans showed the news Mendy and City feared most - rupturing of the anterior cruciate ligament in the right knee - but the Frenchman has been doing his utmost since to get back to action.
Benjamin Mendy has been using pulse massage patterning to speed up his knee recovery
Mendy took to social media this week to share an image of himself lying on a bed with his legs wrapped in what at first glance appeared to be inflatable trousers.
The smiling defender captioned the Instagram snap in comical fashion, writing: 'Bionic legs coming soon.'
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What the picture actually showed was the high profile star undertaking Normatech pulse massage patterning.
The procedure is a scientifically engineered method of moving blood-flow around the legs in order to best maximise recovery from injury.
Following the pattern zone four then pulses higher up the leg, while one, two and three take up the duties of holding the leg - and so forth until zone five at the top of the thigh pulses as the remainder of the leg is held.
Despite Mendy's absence City have been flying in both the Premier League and in Europe
City will be hoping to have Mendy back in action sooner rather than later, though have been faring quite nicely without the Frenchman in the meantime.
Pep Guardiola's side built upon their recent 7-2 Premier League demolition of Stoke City with a fine performance in the Champions League, beating high-flying Italian side Napoli 2-1 at the Etihad Stadium.
The sky blue side return to action on Saturday when they play host to Sean Dyche's Burnley, with the chance to further extend their lead at the summit of England's top flight division.

Pep Guardiola dedicates win to jailed separatists
Manchester: Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola dedicated his team's 2-1 win over Napoli in the Champions League on Tuesday to the two Catalan separatist leaders detained in Spain.
"This win is dedicated to them," Guardiola told reporters at the Etihad Stadium, in response to a question on the matter from a Spanish journalist. "We have shown in Catalonia that citizenship is bigger than any ideas. We hope they will be released soon."
Tens of thousands of people took to the streets of Barcelona on Tuesday to protest against the Madrid-based National Court's ruling to keep Jordi Cuixart and Jordi Sanchez behind bars pending investigations into sedition charges. It follows the bitterly contested Catalan independence referendum which was ruled illegal by Spain's Constitutional Court.
Guardiola, a Catalan, is one of the most famous figures associated with Barcelona Football Club, having won multiple trophies there as both player and coach.

WAG OF THE DAY
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Manchester City Desperate For Spanish Ace To Sign New Deal: Why Pep Needs To Get It Done
Manchester City are marching their way to the Premier League title having won all their matches but one so far this season. In their last match against Stoke City, the Citizens decimated the Potters with an outstanding cohesive effort, scoring seven goals without much fuss.
The dominating display saw all the players contribute with their individual efforts, making it a pretty forgettable day for Stoke City in the Premier League. They outdid the Potters in every department, making it a cakewalk for them to grab three more points and affirm their spot at the top of the table.
Since the start of the season, Pep Guardiola has befuddled all his critics by marshalling his troops in the right way and his main minion has been the captain of his side, David Silva.
The wily Spaniard has held the midfield together with his brilliant ball playing ability and his ball distribution has been perfect, setting his teammates to score goals. He is also in goal-scoring nick for his side and has led them to glory in both domestic as well as European competitions.
To reward his commitment towards the Manchester club, Guardiola wants to tie him down with a new contract at the Etihad. He is well aware of the fact that Silva is one of City’s most important players and is a very important element in the present team composition. Guardiola will need him badly if he is to win silverware with the Citizens in the near future.
However, the fact that the player is already 31 years old might be a factor that might not go in favour of the Spaniard in receiving a renewed contract but his guile and experience at the top level might make the ball fall in his favour. A veteran of more than 300 matches, David Silva has seldom been out of form and has been the secret weapon for the Citizens to rescue them from the most adverse of situations.
The Spanish midfielder signed a new five-year deal in 2014 after he came into the side in 2010 from the La Liga club Valencia. Though the Citizens have brought in Bernardo Silva during the summer transfer window, who is a similar sort of player, it might be a good decision to keep their man in form at their disposal with a new contract.

OTHER BOLLOX
Tottenham striker Harry Kane, 24, and playmaker Christian Eriksen, 25, were being closely watched by Barcelona during Spurs' match against Real Madrid. (Mundo Deportivo via TalkSport)

Jose Mourinho has held talks with Manchester United about a new contract but is in no rush to sign a new deal. (ESPN)

Leicester City will not rush to appoint a new manager after sacking Craig Shakespeare as they seek a big name. (Daily Mirror)

Sam Allardyce has ruled himself out of the running for the vacant Leicester job but is interested in taking charge of the USA team. (TalkSport)

Southampton were the first club to bid for Naples defender Kalidou Koulibaly, 26, this summer despite interest from Serie A and other Premier League clubs. (Calcio Mercato - Italian)

Juventus have joined Barcelona and Manchester City in the race for 22-year-old Borussia Dortmund midfielder Julian Weigl. (CalcioNews24 via TalkSport)

Reading manager Jaap Stam has confirmed the club are interested in signing 21-year-old Manchester United striker James Wilson in the summer. (Reading Chronicle)

Arsenal and Liverpool have been boosted in their pursuit of Monaco forward Thomas Lemar, 21, after Bayern Munich ended their interest. (football.london via Kicker)

Newcastle and Stoke have sent scouts to watch French non-league side FC Martigues's 19-year-old striker Nordine Ibouroi. (The Sun)

Arsenal and Chelsea target midfielder Rafinha, 24, has no interest in leaving Barcelona. (TalkSport)

Aston Villa offered to pay Paris St-Germain defender Thomas Meunier, 26, more money than the French champions when he switched clubs in 2016. (Birmingham Mail via SportFoot)

West Ham goalkeeper Adrian San Miguel, 30, is looking for a move away from the club in January having lost his place to Joe Hart. (Marca - English)

Manchester United have opened contract talks with defender Phil Jones, 25. (ESPN)

Crystal Palace have increased their interest in Besiktas striker Cenk Tosun, 23, after he impressed in the Champions League. (Daily Mirror)

Tottenham striker Fernando Llorente, 32, failed to deny he would be interested in a return to Juventus. (Calcio Mercato - Italian)

Twenty-year-old striker Henry Onyekuru's immediate Everton future remains in doubt after claims the summer buy from Eupen will not be allowed to move to Goodison in January. (Liverpool Echo via owngoalnigeria)

Jurgen Klopp says summer signing Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, 24, is not ready for a central midfield role at Liverpool despite signing with the intention of playing there. (Daily Mail)

West Ham could soon have a royal following after the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were given replica football shirts for their young children. (Telegraph)

But despite being the right colours, Aston Villa fan Prince William was not too keen on the shirts in question... (Birmingham Mail)

Northern Ireland, who play their World Cup play-off match against Switzerland in three weeks, produced a video displaying their qualifying campaign so far in the form of a Super Mario game. (Twitter)

British musician Stormzy voiced his opinions on the hearing which involved the FA following allegations from Chelsea Ladies striker Eniola Aluko. (Twitter)

Liverpool legend Steven Gerrard admitted he "couldn't believe it" when Chelsea let Nemanja Matic join Manchester United this summer. (Mirror)

more bollox later!
Last edited by Chinners on Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Friday's B*ll*x

Postby carl_feedthegoat » Thu Oct 19, 2017 1:25 am

Thursday.
THEY SAY SWEARING IS DUE TO A LIMITED VOCABULARY. I KNOW THOUSANDS OF WORDS, BUT I STILL PREFER "FUCK OFF" TO "GO AWAY"
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Re: Friday's B*ll*x

Postby dazby » Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:44 am

Haha, Chinners must be on a real bender.
Attack the argument of the person, not the person of the argument- except Carl.
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Re: Friday's B*ll*x

Postby City64 » Thu Oct 19, 2017 6:56 am

Wish it was fuckin friday just sayin !
Not really here

Fuck VAR
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Re: Friday's B*ll*x

Postby Grandad Rosler » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:22 am

Got my hopes up that I had the wrong day. Ah well
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Re: Friday's B*ll*x

Postby Wonderwall » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:45 am

I read all the bollocks and it wasn't until someone said it's not Friday that I realised. I must have been out with chinners too!!!
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Re: Friday's B*ll*x

Postby Hutch's Shoulder » Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:29 am

Bloody hell, I thought I’d lost a day and I only had two glasses of wine last night.

I see Mr or Ms Wordy is back with the Silva article.
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Re: Thursday's B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:10 am

Ha ha bloody darts night wasn't it, always a bit messy . . . . . shyte, that means I'm now late for work!
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Re: Thursday's B*ll*x

Postby blues-clues » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:49 am

Every day is Friday in Stalybridge
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Re: Thursday's B*ll*x

Postby Mikhail Chigorin » Thu Oct 19, 2017 10:05 am

Klipperty probably doesn't know what day it is as well, hence his decision to buy dynamic central midfield maestro Oxtail Chamberpot......
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Re: Friday's B*ll*x

Postby Swales4ever » Thu Oct 19, 2017 10:44 am

City64 wrote:Wish it was fuckin friday just sayin !

:lol: :lol:
beat me to that, mate!
I'd would be on my flight to missus h arms, by then.
that look by the perfectly linked wag didn't help either :oops:

Great Techno Phisician B*ll*x, Chinners. very interesting for average ignorant likewise me.

1. "unintelligible language"
2. "ACID QUEEN"
3. "never once fails to turn a football thread into a himseelf thread"
4. "thumbs stalker often resulting in repetitive thumb strain"
5. ignore the cunt. he's on permantent wum mission. only TIDs may know City

You'd need to make a very good psychiatrist in order to guess what next in a eight yrs long line of hatred...


In Roger Ailes/Donnie Drumpf's words: "don't know it for a fact, but many people say so..."
there must be some truth, then!
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