The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

[Nigels Tackle]

Current situation at United:

Greenwood issues
Sancho and Ten Hag spat
Antony allegations
Evans and Maguire as centre backs
Owners refusing to sell

Oh dear…

don't forget their stadium that's crumbling whilst ours is being upgraded.
also a training ground that's supposedly championship standard.

[Im_Spartacus]

By every news report, United have the global highest net spend of all clubs worldwide over the last 10 years.

How does this all become about the Glazers? What am I missing here, because from where I'm sitting they seem like they have been actually pretty fucking good owners.

1: Their strategy to buy through debt has worked like a charm, and they now sit on an asset with $1.2bn debt, that is worth allegedly anywhere upto $10bn from an original purchase price of $800m. Thats a pretty tidy return for ZERO capital deployed, and a good debt to asset ratio for any business and shows the strength of the club (and football's) brand.

2: The Glazers could very easily sell a $1bn stake in the club to repay the debt. But this would be stupid - for an asset that is appreciating in value as fast as United, it's far cheaper to keep the debt than give away 10-15% of the business - especially when the debt is easily serviced by revenue.

3: Even at 10% interest per year and no capital repayment, the debt would cost $1bn over 10 years. The value of $1bn of shares bought now, if we keep on the same valuations trajectory of top football clubs, will inevitably be worth $5bn+ in 10 years time, so meaning keeping the debt is comfortably more beneficial than selling $1bn shares in the club to repay it.

4: The club has the highest net spend in world football. Every manager has been backed to the hilt. What the fuck are they moaning about the owners for, when the issue is with the cretins and managers who are dealing with transfer strategy which seems non-existent - but how can anyone complain about the Glazers when the money has always been made available to managers. When do the managers get called out for bullshit like Anthony for 90m?

5: The only thing the Glazers should ultimately carry the can for, is not appointing a Txiki, resulting in them spaffing money on absolute shite for years. But if they were the horrific owners they are made out to be who only care about money, surely they would see the light that DoF and a more measured footballing strategy is the sustainable way that would result in them spending less money......but if they did this the fans would be in uproar.....the owners literally can't win!

So what are the rag hordes actually complaining about, who are they actually complaining about? Its funny that when they are on a good run we don't hear a peep from the rags, I can't help now but feel the glazers are just a convenient scapegoat.

It should be a salient lesson for us of what lies in store in the future. Eventually our era of dominance will end, and our fans, spoiled by and brought up on success will demand instant fixes to buy time, that the owners and managers can never make a sustainable improvement with......Quick fixes eventually lead to a shitshow and hotchpotch of decisions - exactly the same with Liverpool in the 90s.

[Nigels Tackle]

By every news report, United have the global highest net spend of all clubs worldwide over the last 10 years.

How does this all become about the Glazers? What am I missing here, because from where I'm sitting they seem like they have been actually pretty fucking good owners.

1: Their strategy to buy through debt has worked like a charm, and they now sit on an asset with $1.2bn debt, that is worth allegedly anywhere upto $10bn from an original purchase price of $800m. Thats a pretty tidy return for ZERO capital deployed, and a good debt to asset ratio for any business and shows the strength of the club (and football's) brand.

2: The Glazers could very easily sell a $1bn stake in the club to repay the debt. But this would be stupid - for an asset that is appreciating in value as fast as United, it's far cheaper to keep the debt than give away 10-15% of the business - especially when the debt is easily serviced by revenue.

3: Even at 10% interest per year and no capital repayment, the debt would cost $1bn over 10 years. The value of $1bn of shares bought now, if we keep on the same valuations trajectory of top football clubs, will inevitably be worth $5bn+ in 10 years time, so meaning keeping the debt is comfortably more beneficial than selling $1bn shares in the club to repay it.

4: The club has the highest net spend in world football. Every manager has been backed to the hilt. What the fuck are they moaning about the owners for, when the issue is with the cretins and managers who are dealing with transfer strategy which seems non-existent - but how can anyone complain about the Glazers when the money has always been made available to managers. When do the managers get called out for bullshit like Anthony for 90m?

5: The only thing the Glazers should ultimately carry the can for, is not appointing a Txiki, resulting in them spaffing money on absolute shite for years. But if they were the horrific owners they are made out to be who only care about money, surely they would see the light that DoF and a more measured footballing strategy is the sustainable way that would result in them spending less money......but if they did this the fans would be in uproar.....the owners literally can't win!

So what are the rag hordes actually complaining about, who are they actually complaining about? Its funny that when they are on a good run we don't hear a peep from the rags, I can't help now but feel the glazers are just a convenient scapegoat.

It should be a salient lesson for us of what lies in store in the future. Eventually our era of dominance will end, and our fans, spoiled by and brought up on success will demand instant fixes to buy time, that the owners and managers can never make a sustainable improvement with......Quick fixes eventually lead to a shitshow and hotchpotch of decisions - exactly the same with Liverpool in the 90s.

rag fans have a deluded belief that there is something special about the club...
their 2 periods of sustained success were down to individuals - busby and baconface who operated in an era when they could control everything
the world has moved on, the rags haven't

[nottsblue]

By every news report, United have the global highest net spend of all clubs worldwide over the last 10 years.

How does this all become about the Glazers? What am I missing here, because from where I'm sitting they seem like they have been actually pretty fucking good owners.

1: Their strategy to buy through debt has worked like a charm, and they now sit on an asset with $1.2bn debt, that is worth allegedly anywhere upto $10bn from an original purchase price of $800m. Thats a pretty tidy return for ZERO capital deployed, and a good debt to asset ratio for any business and shows the strength of the club (and football's) brand.

2: The Glazers could very easily sell a $1bn stake in the club to repay the debt. But this would be stupid - for an asset that is appreciating in value as fast as United, it's far cheaper to keep the debt than give away 10-15% of the business - especially when the debt is easily serviced by revenue.

3: Even at 10% interest per year and no capital repayment, the debt would cost $1bn over 10 years. The value of $1bn of shares bought now, if we keep on the same valuations trajectory of top football clubs, will inevitably be worth $5bn+ in 10 years time, so meaning keeping the debt is comfortably more beneficial than selling $1bn shares in the club to repay it.

4: The club has the highest net spend in world football. Every manager has been backed to the hilt. What the fuck are they moaning about the owners for, when the issue is with the cretins and managers who are dealing with transfer strategy which seems non-existent - but how can anyone complain about the Glazers when the money has always been made available to managers. When do the managers get called out for bullshit like Anthony for 90m?

5: The only thing the Glazers should ultimately carry the can for, is not appointing a Txiki, resulting in them spaffing money on absolute shite for years. But if they were the horrific owners they are made out to be who only care about money, surely they would see the light that DoF and a more measured footballing strategy is the sustainable way that would result in them spending less money......but if they did this the fans would be in uproar.....the owners literally can't win!

So what are the rag hordes actually complaining about, who are they actually complaining about? Its funny that when they are on a good run we don't hear a peep from the rags, I can't help now but feel the glazers are just a convenient scapegoat.

It should be a salient lesson for us of what lies in store in the future. Eventually our era of dominance will end, and our fans, spoiled by and brought up on success will demand instant fixes to buy time, that the owners and managers can never make a sustainable improvement with......Quick fixes eventually lead to a shitshow and hotchpotch of decisions - exactly the same with Liverpool in the 90s.

Great post

Try explaining that to Neville though.

And totally agree with last paragraph as well

[nottsblue]

By every news report, United have the global highest net spend of all clubs worldwide over the last 10 years.

How does this all become about the Glazers? What am I missing here, because from where I'm sitting they seem like they have been actually pretty fucking good owners.

1: Their strategy to buy through debt has worked like a charm, and they now sit on an asset with $1.2bn debt, that is worth allegedly anywhere upto $10bn from an original purchase price of $800m. Thats a pretty tidy return for ZERO capital deployed, and a good debt to asset ratio for any business and shows the strength of the club (and football's) brand.

2: The Glazers could very easily sell a $1bn stake in the club to repay the debt. But this would be stupid - for an asset that is appreciating in value as fast as United, it's far cheaper to keep the debt than give away 10-15% of the business - especially when the debt is easily serviced by revenue.

3: Even at 10% interest per year and no capital repayment, the debt would cost $1bn over 10 years. The value of $1bn of shares bought now, if we keep on the same valuations trajectory of top football clubs, will inevitably be worth $5bn+ in 10 years time, so meaning keeping the debt is comfortably more beneficial than selling $1bn shares in the club to repay it.

4: The club has the highest net spend in world football. Every manager has been backed to the hilt. What the fuck are they moaning about the owners for, when the issue is with the cretins and managers who are dealing with transfer strategy which seems non-existent - but how can anyone complain about the Glazers when the money has always been made available to managers. When do the managers get called out for bullshit like Anthony for 90m?

5: The only thing the Glazers should ultimately carry the can for, is not appointing a Txiki, resulting in them spaffing money on absolute shite for years. But if they were the horrific owners they are made out to be who only care about money, surely they would see the light that DoF and a more measured footballing strategy is the sustainable way that would result in them spending less money......but if they did this the fans would be in uproar.....the owners literally can't win!

So what are the rag hordes actually complaining about, who are they actually complaining about? Its funny that when they are on a good run we don't hear a peep from the rags, I can't help now but feel the glazers are just a convenient scapegoat.

It should be a salient lesson for us of what lies in store in the future. Eventually our era of dominance will end, and our fans, spoiled by and brought up on success will demand instant fixes to buy time, that the owners and managers can never make a sustainable improvement with......Quick fixes eventually lead to a shitshow and hotchpotch of decisions - exactly the same with Liverpool in the 90s.

rag fans have a deluded belief that there is something special about the club...
their 2 periods of sustained success were down to individuals - busby and baconface who operated in an era when they could control everything
the world has moved on, the rags haven't

The rags have only ever had 3 title winning managers.

[zuricity]

the Rags are not worth 1 billion, never mind the six or now 10 billion being bandied about in the press

[Paul68]

the Rags are not worth 1 billion, never mind the six or now 10 billion being bandied about in the press

They are as long as the cunts at Sly, British Bias Co, and other media outlets are still holding their shares.
Fucking Muppets can't sell without losing a fortune so have to hang on, so therefore the shite are worth..,. Oooohhhh.,,,,lots and lots of zeros.... Really.... Honestly... Want to buy some shares?
Once they can get rid of their shares..... THEN we may see what the fuckers are really worth

[johnny crossan]

This should preface every rag report in their client media - an excellent summary and salutary warning to us

By every news report, United have the global highest net spend of all clubs worldwide over the last 10 years.

How does this all become about the Glazers? What am I missing here, because from where I'm sitting they seem like they have been actually pretty fucking good owners.

1: Their strategy to buy through debt has worked like a charm, and they now sit on an asset with $1.2bn debt, that is worth allegedly anywhere upto $10bn from an original purchase price of $800m. Thats a pretty tidy return for ZERO capital deployed, and a good debt to asset ratio for any business and shows the strength of the club (and football's) brand.

2: The Glazers could very easily sell a $1bn stake in the club to repay the debt. But this would be stupid - for an asset that is appreciating in value as fast as United, it's far cheaper to keep the debt than give away 10-15% of the business - especially when the debt is easily serviced by revenue.

3: Even at 10% interest per year and no capital repayment, the debt would cost $1bn over 10 years. The value of $1bn of shares bought now, if we keep on the same valuations trajectory of top football clubs, will inevitably be worth $5bn+ in 10 years time, so meaning keeping the debt is comfortably more beneficial than selling $1bn shares in the club to repay it.

4: The club has the highest net spend in world football. Every manager has been backed to the hilt. What the fuck are they moaning about the owners for, when the issue is with the cretins and managers who are dealing with transfer strategy which seems non-existent - but how can anyone complain about the Glazers when the money has always been made available to managers. When do the managers get called out for bullshit like Anthony for 90m?

5: The only thing the Glazers should ultimately carry the can for, is not appointing a Txiki, resulting in them spaffing money on absolute shite for years. But if they were the horrific owners they are made out to be who only care about money, surely they would see the light that DoF and a more measured footballing strategy is the sustainable way that would result in them spending less money......but if they did this the fans would be in uproar.....the owners literally can't win!

So what are the rag hordes actually complaining about, who are they actually complaining about? Its funny that when they are on a good run we don't hear a peep from the rags, I can't help now but feel the glazers are just a convenient scapegoat.

It should be a salient lesson for us of what lies in store in the future. Eventually our era of dominance will end, and our fans, spoiled by and brought up on success will demand instant fixes to buy time, that the owners and managers can never make a sustainable improvement with......Quick fixes eventually lead to a shitshow and hotchpotch of decisions - exactly the same with Liverpool in the 90s.

[Tokyo Blue]

By every news report, United have the global highest net spend of all clubs worldwide over the last 10 years.

How does this all become about the Glazers? What am I missing here, because from where I'm sitting they seem like they have been actually pretty fucking good owners.

1: Their strategy to buy through debt has worked like a charm, and they now sit on an asset with $1.2bn debt, that is worth allegedly anywhere upto $10bn from an original purchase price of $800m. Thats a pretty tidy return for ZERO capital deployed, and a good debt to asset ratio for any business and shows the strength of the club (and football's) brand.

2: The Glazers could very easily sell a $1bn stake in the club to repay the debt. But this would be stupid - for an asset that is appreciating in value as fast as United, it's far cheaper to keep the debt than give away 10-15% of the business - especially when the debt is easily serviced by revenue.

3: Even at 10% interest per year and no capital repayment, the debt would cost $1bn over 10 years. The value of $1bn of shares bought now, if we keep on the same valuations trajectory of top football clubs, will inevitably be worth $5bn+ in 10 years time, so meaning keeping the debt is comfortably more beneficial than selling $1bn shares in the club to repay it.

4: The club has the highest net spend in world football. Every manager has been backed to the hilt. What the fuck are they moaning about the owners for, when the issue is with the cretins and managers who are dealing with transfer strategy which seems non-existent - but how can anyone complain about the Glazers when the money has always been made available to managers. When do the managers get called out for bullshit like Anthony for 90m?

5: The only thing the Glazers should ultimately carry the can for, is not appointing a Txiki, resulting in them spaffing money on absolute shite for years. But if they were the horrific owners they are made out to be who only care about money, surely they would see the light that DoF and a more measured footballing strategy is the sustainable way that would result in them spending less money......but if they did this the fans would be in uproar.....the owners literally can't win!

So what are the rag hordes actually complaining about, who are they actually complaining about? Its funny that when they are on a good run we don't hear a peep from the rags, I can't help now but feel the glazers are just a convenient scapegoat.

It should be a salient lesson for us of what lies in store in the future. Eventually our era of dominance will end, and our fans, spoiled by and brought up on success will demand instant fixes to buy time, that the owners and managers can never make a sustainable improvement with......Quick fixes eventually lead to a shitshow and hotchpotch of decisions - exactly the same with Liverpool in the 90s.

Superb post.

4. and 5. are particularly hard for united fans to deal with. It is easier for them to blame the non-football people than the football people but it is the football side of the club that has been spectacularly incompetent. I love it.

[zuricity]

the Rags are not worth 1 billion, never mind the six or now 10 billion being bandied about in the press

They are as long as the cunts at Sly, British Bias Co, and other media outlets are still holding their shares.
Fucking Muppets can't sell without losing a fortune so have to hang on, so therefore the shite are worth..,. Oooohhhh.,,,,lots and lots of zeros.... Really.... Honestly... Want to buy some shares?
Once they can get rid of their shares..... THEN we may see what the fuckers are really worth

Their share price is down below 20 again and has lost all gains made during the BS rumours.

[patrickblue]

Sparty, I totally concur with your post, but to me the important part is no 5, and that's the bit that makes it all so entertaining.
The Glaziers still don't seem to have twigged that it's a football club, only that it's a cash cow. The only director of football type person they've employed was Woodward (I don't remember what his title was, but he certainly was responsible for buying players). Woodward was a money man, not a football man, and was there to make money for the owners.
The day that the Glaziers start employing professional football people to run the football part of the club (assuming they don't sell it first) is the day that the rags become a threat again.
As it is at the moment, it's like an engineering business trying to be run with no engineers, just accountants.

[Outcast]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66726456

National headline had that been us.

[PeterParker]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66726456

National headline had that been us.

I don't quite believe the numbers at Madrid.
Bellingham, Hazard and Bale and you have 300 mil just from the top of my mind.

[BlueinBosnia]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66726456

National headline had that been us.

I don't quite believe the numbers at Madrid.
Bellingham, Hazard and Bale and you have 300 mil just from the top of my mind.

But they sold Ronaldo, Casemiro and Di Maria for comparable amounts. Also, Spanish clubs seem to be a lot more successful in getting loan fees (or report them in a different way for accounting purposes, making them more visible).

[PeterParker]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66726456

National headline had that been us.

I don't quite believe the numbers at Madrid.
Bellingham, Hazard and Bale and you have 300 mil just from the top of my mind.

But they sold Ronaldo, Casemiro and Di Maria for comparable amounts. Also, Spanish clubs seem to be a lot more successful in getting loan fees (or report them in a different way for accounting purposes, making them more visible).

Yes. they got some cash for those, to be fair. With Barcelona I agree, the numbers I reckon are correct.

[Mase]

Manchester United's Antony is facing further allegations of assault made by a woman in an interview with a Brazilian TV channel.

A police investigation has already been opened following allegations of domestic abuse against his former girlfriend.

[salford city]

Manchester United's Antony is facing further allegations of assault made by a woman in an interview with a Brazilian TV channel.

A police investigation has already been opened following allegations of domestic abuse against his former girlfriend.

Allo, allo, allo they're a club full of fucking weirdo's
Ronaldo's a rapist
Greenwood's a rapist
Scholes is sucking on toes

Looks like we have another one - allegedly

[nottsblue]

Manchester United's Antony is facing further allegations of assault made by a woman in an interview with a Brazilian TV channel.

A police investigation has already been opened following allegations of domestic abuse against his former girlfriend.

Allo, allo, allo they're a club full of fucking weirdo's
Ronaldo's a rapist
Greenwood's a rapist
Scholes is sucking on toes

Looks like we have another one - allegedly

https://news.sky.com/story/antony-manch ... n-12957273

Looks like matey boy over at the swamp has been very busy

[johnny crossan]

Manchester United's Antony is facing further allegations of assault made by a woman in an interview with a Brazilian TV channel.

A police investigation has already been opened following allegations of domestic abuse against his former girlfriend.

Allo, allo, allo they're a club full of fucking weirdo's
Ronaldo's a rapist
Greenwood's a rapist
Scholes is sucking on toes

Looks like we have another one - allegedly

https://news.sky.com/story/antony-manch ... n-12957273

Looks like matey boy over at the swamp has been very busy

Family man?

[Bluemoon4610]

Manchester United's Antony is facing further allegations of assault made by a woman in an interview with a Brazilian TV channel.

A police investigation has already been opened following allegations of domestic abuse against his former girlfriend.

Allo, allo, allo they're a club full of fucking weirdo's
Ronaldo's a rapist
Greenwood's a rapist
Scholes is sucking on toes

Looks like we have another one - allegedly

https://news.sky.com/story/antony-manch ... n-12957273

Looks like matey boy over at the swamp has been very busy

Family man?

Teaching them all he knows!