The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

[Clowncrete]

I have never understood why every kit launch has the players grimacing as if they have constipation. Do smiling players sell less kits or something?

[littlebig]

I have never understood why every kit launch has the players grimacing as if they have constipation. Do smiling players sell less kits or something?

Smiling is just not epic enough

[john@staustell]

75m for Lukaku? Unbelieveable.What a waste of money, he aint no Zlatan. Shades of Ted Macdougal

[Scatman]

75m for Lukaku? Unbelieveable.What a waste of money, he aint no Zlatan. Shades of Ted Macdougal

I am led to believe that Rooney is off to Everton as part of the deal with them paying half his wages.

[Justified logic]

75m for Lukaku? Unbelieveable.What a waste of money, he aint no Zlatan. Shades of Ted Macdougal

I am led to believe that Rooney is off to Everton as part of the deal with them paying half his wages.

From the Mail transfer breaking news...

MATT LAWTON: Manchester United have agreed a £75million fee for Romelu Lukaku and expect to wrap up a deal in time for the Everton striker to join them on their US tour.

United manager Jose Mourinho has moved quickly to hijack Chelsea's pursuit of Lukaku and has now aborted his pursuit of Real Madrid's Alvaro Morata.

Lukaku's move is not linked to that of Wayne Rooney, but United will waive a transfer fee as their captain nears a return to Everton in a separate deal.

Unbelievable!

Greizmann
Ronaldo
Bale
Morata
Lukaku

So, he may be going on a free but who'll be paying what of Rooney's £250,000 or £300,000 per week wage bill?

And from the Telegraph...

Rooney still has two years to run on his current contract, but United are so keen to get him off the wage bill that they are said to be willing to allow Rooney to leave on a free.

Those same reports also suggest that Everton will then move to add Arsenal forward Olivier Giroud to their ranks, as they try to create the slowest strikeforce ever seen in football.

[nottsblue]

Ed Woodward has pulled a blinder. £75m for Lukaku? And they may still have to sub Shreks wages if he goes to Everton. Not Christmas already is it?

[Justified logic]

ALEX MARTIN: Manchester United have agreed to waive a transfer fee for Wayne Rooney, allowing their captain to seal an emotional return to Everton on a free transfer.

The Toffees were willing to pay a fee in the region of £10million for the 31-year-old and have offered him wages of £150,000 a week, which represents a significant cut from his earnings at Old Trafford.

United's decision to allow Rooney to leave for nothing is not connected to the £75m deal agreed for Everton striker Romelu Lukaku, who looks set to move in the opposite direction, but will further ease negotiations between the two clubs.

So Everton will pay Rooney £15.6m over the remaining 2 years of his contract and United will stump up the outstanding £10.4m.

So Lukaku cost United £65m cash and £10m to get Rooney off their books

[Scatman]

ALEX MARTIN: Manchester United have agreed to waive a transfer fee for Wayne Rooney, allowing their captain to seal an emotional return to Everton on a free transfer.

The Toffees were willing to pay a fee in the region of £10million for the 31-year-old and have offered him wages of £150,000 a week, which represents a significant cut from his earnings at Old Trafford.

United's decision to allow Rooney to leave for nothing is not connected to the £75m deal agreed for Everton striker Romelu Lukaku, who looks set to move in the opposite direction, but will further ease negotiations between the two clubs.

So Everton will pay Rooney £15.6m over the remaining 2 years of his contract and United will stump up the outstanding £10.4m.

So Lukaku cost United £65m cash and £10m to get Rooney off their books

Or Lukaku cost £85M

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

75m for Lukaku? Unbelieveable.What a waste of money, he aint no Zlatan. Shades of Ted Macdougal

Sounds like a perfume. I remember that bouffanted twat, he turned out to be almost as appalling as Gary Birtles.

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

Everton denying the price is agreed.

[CTID Hants]

The majority of the rags are going mental over this, he's not a name.... I hope we still get morata.... He's got a shit first touch among many other complaints

[Wonderwall]

No need for a midfield at the swamp next season. Fellaini and lukaku up top and the ball hoofed 80yds for every attack.

[john@staustell]

The majority of the rags are going mental over this, he's not a name.... I hope we still get morata.... He's got a shit first touch among many other complaints

I think they are right.

[City64]

Woodward is the gift that keeps giving pmsl , don't forget Lindlehoff cost £40 million !

[PrezIke]

£75 + add ons, so we will see what real fee is if finalised.

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

Woodward is the gift that keeps giving pmsl , don't forget Lindlehoff cost £40 million !

Who?

[london blue 2]

75million

[City64]

So let's get the ammunition right ......
Woodward is spunking Rooneys 2 year existing deal @ 300K a week ? paying it up ? that's around £25 million isn't it ? Wonder what the media will be saying ? Woodward also paid Paid Pogba,s agent £25 million last season aswell ? Yet rag fans get fleeced ? not as I give a fuck about rag fans but they won't be happy will they ?

[City64]

Woodward is the gift that keeps giving pmsl , don't forget Lindlehoff cost £40 million !

Who?

Exactly ! £40 million for a cunt no fucker has ever heard of !

[Mikhail Chigorin]

No need for a midfield at the swamp next season. Fellaini and lukaku up top and the ball hoofed 80yds for every attack.

No change there then WW.