Welcome Erling Haaland

[CTID Hants]

The more we learn about Erling, the more i like him


Erling about his first date"All I think about is goals and a net all day long. This is why I failed my first date with an Austrian girl. During the dinner or lunch dates, I would talk goals to her. Things like 'how many goals do you think I will score tomorrow?'. She would be annoyed because she wanted me to forget about football and talk love when I am with her. But unfortunately, the love I have is football. So I told her to go find a good man who plays love, not football."

This boy is not an ordinary person.

[salford city]

The more we learn about Erling, the more i like him


Erling about his first date"All I think about is goals and a net all day long. This is why I failed my first date with an Austrian girl. During the dinner or lunch dates, I would talk goals to her. Things like 'how many goals do you think I will score tomorrow?'. She would be annoyed because she wanted me to forget about football and talk love when I am with her. But unfortunately, the love I have is football. So I told her to go find a good man who plays love, not football."

This boy is not an ordinary person.

Long may it continue he is putting the fear of god in everyone. Was talking about him in the boozer earlier and cannot temember the last time a striker was so feared - proper natural striker that you cannot mark or keep quiet

[zuricity]

The more we learn about Erling, the more i like him


Erling about his first date"All I think about is goals and a net all day long. This is why I failed my first date with an Austrian girl. During the dinner or lunch dates, I would talk goals to her. Things like 'how many goals do you think I will score tomorrow?'. She would be annoyed because she wanted me to forget about football and talk love when I am with her. But unfortunately, the love I have is football. So I told her to go find a good man who plays love, not football."

This boy is not an ordinary person.

Long may it continue he is putting the fear of god in everyone. Was talking about him in the boozer earlier and cannot temember the last time a striker was so feared - proper natural striker that you cannot mark or keep quiet

I think the biggest problem people in the media have, or other teams have with Erling is that firstly he is not from those "renowned" countries. Argentina, Brazil, Spain whatever. He's from Norway.

Sure his dad was a good professional footballer, but generally the Norwegians are not known for Football. They are a very well educated , advanced society. Of course , also very rich because of their good oil investments.

So knowing that their language is not global, they all learn English from day one. This helps Erling , being multilingual from a young boy.

So know you have a stable , behemoth of a player , who reads books in English as well as his native language, who probably has better Grammar than any of the English players in the City team , A foreign player that has an acerbic sense of humour and above all can't be ruffled by the dciks that interview him .

I don't think he is greedy , i think he wants to do the right thing every time, hence being pissed when Foden and Walker failed to make the correct pass. I don't think he thinks , "i would have had two more goals so far . had these two pratts squared the ball" rather than "They should have squared the ball , because that is the right thing to do in that situation and you must do it ,because there will be games when we really need the one goal ".

He's going to be one hell of a player and i am glad he's at City.

[Mase]

Watch on youtube.com

[johnny crossan]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and had four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

[nottsblue]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and had four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

Laughable

But Haaland will have the last laugh

[Dimples]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and had four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

Laughable

But Haaland will have the last laugh

Kane must be a donkey so

Harry Kane has failed to score in 39 of his 75 England appearances, 52% fail rate
Harry Kane has scored 51 goals in 75 England appearances. Strike rate 68%

Haaland has scored 21 goals in 23 Norwegian appearances. Strike rate 91%.
Haaland has failed to score in 10 of his 23 Norwegian appearances, 43% fail rate

[zuricity]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and had four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

Laughable

But Haaland will have the last laugh

Kane must be a donkey so

Harry Kane has failed to score in 39 of his 75 England appearances, 52% fail rate
Harry Kane has scored 51 goals in 75 England appearances. Strike rate 68%

Haaland has scored 21 goals in 23 Norwegian appearances. Strike rate 91%.
Haaland has failed to score in 10 of his 23 Norwegian appearances, 43% fail rate

Can you please separare Kane's goals into Goals achieved and Penalties taken on behalf of someone else's effort ?

[Dimples]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and had four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

Laughable

But Haaland will have the last laugh

Kane must be a donkey so

Harry Kane has failed to score in 39 of his 75 England appearances, 52% fail rate
Harry Kane has scored 51 goals in 75 England appearances. Strike rate 68%

Haaland has scored 21 goals in 23 Norwegian appearances. Strike rate 91%.
Haaland has failed to score in 10 of his 23 Norwegian appearances, 43% fail rate

Can you please separare Kane's goals into Goals achieved and Penalties taken on behalf of someone else's effort ?

To much like hard work.

Quick google:
Kane has scored 15 penalties for England. 15/51*100 = 29% of Kane's total are penalties
Haaland has scored 3 penalties for Norway. 3/21*100 = 14% of Haaland's total are penalties.

I have no idea who 'earned' the penalties.

Fun fact: When Kane was the same age as Haaland is now, he had 8 England caps and 3 goals!

[CTID Hants]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and https://buzzshot.co/t/w6254/ four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

First of all stop making our eyes bleed with that shitty colour.... secondly, put in context

Erling has played 23 games for Norwegian senior squad, scoring a total of 21 goals.... meaning if that stat by aunty is correct, he has scored in only
scored 13 games, scoring 21 goals.....or am i missing summat?

[johnny crossan]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and https://buzzshot.co/t/w6254/ four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

First of all stop making our eyes bleed with that shitty colour.... secondly, put in context

Erling has played 23 games for Norwegian senior squad, scoring a total of 21 goals.... meaning if that stat by aunty is correct, he has scored in only
scored 13 games, scoring 21 goals.....or am i missing summat?

Oh dear, poor old Hants misses the bus again - irony is not your strong suit is it?
Read it again after your cornflakes

[Nigels Tackle]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and https://buzzshot.co/t/w6254/ four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

First of all stop making our eyes bleed with that shitty colour.... secondly, put in context

Erling has played 23 games for Norwegian senior squad, scoring a total of 21 goals.... meaning if that stat by aunty is correct, he has scored in only
scored 13 games, scoring 21 goals.....or am i missing summat?

Oh dear, poor old Hants misses the bus again - irony is not your strong suit is it?
Read it again after your cornflakes

hants was posting at bear o’clock so presumably was about 10 stellas down

[CTID Hants]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and https://buzzshot.co/t/w6254/ four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

First of all stop making our eyes bleed with that shitty colour.... secondly, put in context

Erling has played 23 games for Norwegian senior squad, scoring a total of 21 goals.... meaning if that stat by aunty is correct, he has scored in only
scored 13 games, scoring 21 goals.....or am i missing summat?

Oh dear, poor old Hants misses the bus again - irony is not your strong suit is it?
Read it again after your cornflakes

hants was posting at bear o’clock so presumably was about 10 stellas down

Well observed NT, i didnt bother reading the link and i don't wife beater as it is too sweet, i stay loyal to a pint of numbers , 1664 to you....

[carl_feedthegoat]

From our raggy friends at the BBC in their match report of Norway v Serbia last night
"Manchester City striker Erling Haaland played the full 90 minutes for Norway, and https://buzzshot.co/t/w6254/ four shots, but failed to score for the 10th time in 23 international games."

the hurt is strong

First of all stop making our eyes bleed with that shitty colour.... secondly, put in context

Erling has played 23 games for Norwegian senior squad, scoring a total of 21 goals.... meaning if that stat by aunty is correct, he has scored in only
scored 13 games, scoring 21 goals.....or am i missing summat?

Oh dear, poor old Hants misses the bus again - irony is not your strong suit is it?
Read it again after your cornflakes

hants was posting at bear o’clock so presumably was about 10 stellas down

Well observed NT, i didnt bother reading the link and i don't wife beater as it is too sweet, i stay loyal to a pint of numbers , 1664 to you....

Can anyone translate Martian into English ?

[Scatman]

He prefers Kronenbourg to Stella because Stella is too sweet

[nottsblue]

It’s like playing football in cheat mode with Haaland. He gets into positions and finishes chances that most other players only dream about

[PeterParker]

It’s like playing football in cheat mode with Haaland. He gets into positions and finishes chances that most other players only dream about

I think he might be better than Darwin Nunez?

[Nigels Tackle]

copenhagen and soton both at home next - 2 more hat tricks??

[Mase]

Thought he was signing some big deal with adidas? He’s wearing Nike’s at the moment - hopefully he doesn’t change.

[Dimples]

I thought Haaland's assists yesterday were very impressive. With Pep there his game will evolve, it looks like this is only the start......