Sunday's B*ll*x

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Sunday's B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Sun May 08, 2011 8:33 am

Injured Carlos Tevez rated '50%' for final
Tevez's return to the side would be a huge boost ahead of the Cup final Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini says Carlos Tevez has a 50% chance of being fit for the FA Cup final after his recent hamstring injury.
Tevez has not played since 11 April and Mancini says if the striker is not fit to train before Tuesday's game with Tottenham he is unlikely to face Stoke.
"He must train. In the next days we'll see if it is possible," he said.
"If he can play 20 minutes we can see if he can play or not. At the moment I think he's 50% for the final."
Mancini's team take on Stoke at Wembley on 14 May in their first FA Cup final appearance since 1981 and will they will be desperate for the talismanic club captain to be fit for selection.
Tevez missed the semi-final win over his former club Manchester United and was not involved in Saturday's 2-1 defeat at Everton, a result which places even more emphasis on Tuesday's game at Eastlands.
City and Tottenham are leading the race for the fourth and final Champions League place - although Liverpool are also still in the frame - a tussle which was kept alive when City lost at Goodison Park, despite having gone ahead.
"It was incredible we lost this game," said Mancini.
"We dominated in the first half and had four or five chances to score.
"But this is football. If you lose concentration, if you concede a yard to the other team, it is difficult.
"A game like today we should never lose. If we want to become a strong team, we cannot lose this game.
"We shouldn't lose it because we had more chances to score in the second half."

The Mail on Sunday paints it in a rather different way bollox ...

Tevez must face Spurs or miss the Cup final, warns Mancini
Manchester City captain Carlos Tevez has only a 50 per cent chance of playing in the
FA Cup final against Stoke.
City’s top scorer will be considered for the final only if he plays some part in their
Premier League game at home to Tottenham.
Manager Roberto Mancini said: ‘Carlos has done only two days’ training. The next couple of days will tell us more. I will try to put him as substitute against Spurs and see if he can play for 20 minutes. I think he has a 50 per cent chance for the final.’
Tevez suffered a hamstring tear against Liverpool a month ago and missed the semi-final win over Manchester United.
Gareth Barry did not play in yesterday’s defeat at Everton but Mancini expects him to face Spurs. ‘He had a little problem and we didn’t want to take any risks against Everton,’ he said.

Mancini and Neville at loggerheads in Goodison Park bust-up after elbowing row
FA Cup final manager Roberto Mancini was involved in a stormy bust-up between Manchester City and Everton players following the final whistle at hottempered Premier League game at Goodison Park.
Mancini was repeatedly sworn at by Everton skipper Phil Neville as the City manager rushed on to the pitch to drag away his player Aleksandar Kolarov, who squared up to Seamus Coleman following an alleged elbowing incident.
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Divide and conquer: Neville (left) and Mancini (far right) are seperated at the final whistle
Mancini’s assistant, Brian Kidd, who used to work with Neville at Manchester United, dived in as peacemaker and Neville was restrained from following Mancini and Kolarovinto the tunnel by Kidd and referee Phil Dowd.
The bad-tempered incident followed a 2-1 Everton win which seemed to hit City’s advance towards clinching fourth place and Champions League qualification. But rivals Tottenham, who visit Eastlands on Tuesday, were held 1-1 at home by Blackpool. A City victory over Spurs would clinch fourth before they meet Stoke in the FA Cup final at Wembley.
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Pointing the blame: City coach David Platt (right) vents his frustration towards Everton skipper Neville
Everton manager David Moyes said: ‘Someone said the City players felt Seamus[Coleman] had elbowed somebody. I don’t think it was anything but once the players gathered at the end, more people saw that and also came over.’
Mancini refused to throw any light on why Neville had turned on him.
‘I only went to get Kolarov away,’ he said.
The flashpoint occurred after the final whistle when Kolarov and Coleman, who was booked towards the end of the game for kicking the ball at a prostrate Joleon Lescott, had to be dragged apart by a bare-chested Tim Cahill as other players joined the fray.
Mancini’s attempts to calm the situation down was met with fury by Neville, who was forced to stay on the pitch until he had calmed down. The FA must wait to see if referee Dowd mentions the incident in his report.

Balotelli reveals how relationship with City’s manager reached breaking point
After seven months of tantrums, training ground bust-ups, red cards, countless parking tickets and a car crash, Roberto Mancini's patience with Mario Balotelli was finally exhausted.
His £23 million striker had been sent off - again - against Dynamo Kiev and this time it had cost Manchester City a lucrative place in a European quarter-final.
Mancini walked into the Eastlands dressing room, confronted his fellow Italian and gave him the mother of all dressing downs for the chesthigh challenge on Goran Popov that had earned him his dismissal and helped to end City's interest in this season's Europa League.
Even now, seven weeks later, Ballotelli winces at the memory.
'He called me an idiot,' he said. 'He shouted that he wished he'd never signed me.'
Oddly enough, though, the bust-up between manager and player appears to have marked a watershed in Ballotelli's City career.
And that, he says, is down to Mancini's leadership skills.
The contrast with his former boss, Jose Mourinho, could not, adds Ballotelli, be more marked.
'Mancini was angry, but I prefer someone to be direct,' he said. 'I hate people who say to my face "Mario, you are good" and then tell other people behind my back "Mario is s***".
'Roberto says what he has to say - he never lies and that is what I like about him.'
Last year at Inter Milan, Mourinho labelled Balotelli 'unmanageable' and dropped him from the squad for the Champions League final.
On Saturday, however, Ballotelli will doubtless get his chance to perform on another big stage, the FA Cup final at Wembley against Stoke City. 'Mancini is doing what Mourinho couldn't do,' said Balotelli. 'Mourinho couldn't understand me. They are both great managers, but they are different men. Mancini supports me, Mourinho was different.
'Whenever I had a problem, Mourinho always went against me. Maybe it is because we have the same character. Mancini savaged me after the Kiev game, but that was in private. In public, he has always supported me.'
Mourinho has been linked with replacing Mancini at City, as he once did at Inter.
It is little surprise that the prospect does not appeal to Balotelli.
'I don't know why somebody would want another coach at City. The club has never been in the Champions League and if we win the FA Cup, it will be the first trophy for 35 years,' he said.
'Roberto is doing well, so why should he be changed? I came to Manchester because I trusted him.'
Nobody who followed Balotelli's career in Italy will have been surprised by his ability to attract controversy like a moth to the light. Inter fans were incensed when he was photographed in the shirt of rivals AC Milan.
City were unimpressed by him throwing darts out of a window at the training ground and fined him for his dismissal against Kiev. Ballotelli is bright and has a quick wit in Italian or English. But he also appears to lack common sense.
Sometimes that has a humorous effect, as witnessed in the online footage of him trying - and failing - to put on a training bib.
On other occasions his naivety lands him in trouble.
Only Balotelli could manage to get himself sent off - and subsequently banned for three games - just minutes after scoring his first Premier League goals, against West Brom.
More seriously, he allowed his celebrations after beating Manchester United in the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley to overshadow his performance, when he led the line in Carlos Tevez's absence in exemplary fashion.
Celebrating in front of the United fans might not have been malicious, but it angered Rio Ferdinand and other United players enough for a heated exchange to take place and earn Balotelli more unwanted headlines.
Balotelli's saving grace is that he does not try to justify his misdemeanours with public relations hogwash.
He may feel harshly judged at times, but he does not deny making mistakes - including parking on too many double yellow lines.
'People don't always do the right thing, do they? I am 20 years old and sometimes I do the wrong thing,' he said.
'Wearing that AC Milan shirt was wrong. I regret it and City fans don't have to worry, I will never be photographed in a United shirt. Since I came to England, I have had a lot of parking fines, about 20, and I have been stupid, I have parked my car outside my favourite restaurant too often. But then I read that I have to pay £12,000 in parking fines. That's not possible - I would have to get 35 parking tickets every day!'
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He says that he understands why Ferdinand got upset about his behaviour at Wembley, although Balotelli insists that there was no malice intended.
'I celebrated by showing my shirt [to the United fans] but I didn't say anything. I didn't swear,' he said.
'It is normal to be upset, like United were, when you lose a game and if another player celebrates in front of your supporters, you'd be angry.
'But I didn't mean to disrespect anybody. I think the United players were too sensitive but I am sensitive as well. If that happened to me, maybe I would have reacted in the same way [as Ferdinand].'
On the pitch, Balotelli's performances have veered between world-class and hopeless - and he is just as much a contradiction away from football.
He describes himself as 'shy', then in the next breath admits to his fondness for 'having fun'.
He rails against the image portrayed of him in the media - 'I am a normal 20-year-old,' he says - but he seems secretly to enjoy the 'wild child' image, too.
Among his favourite pursuits back home in Italy were shooting with his friends, martial arts and go-karting.
Not for him the traditional English footballer's pastime of golf.
'I haven't tried it but I don't think I'd like it. Too quiet,' he said.
More seriously, he wants to move friends and family over to live with him permanently in Manchester next season, the surest sign yet that he is ready to pledge his long-term future to City after feeling homesick and lonely during his first few months in England.
'It has been difficult living in a new country, particularly at the beginning,' he admitted.
'After training, I stay at home and go on the PlayStation or sometimes I have to find some interests because in Italy I had lots and lots of friends.
'Next year, I think my friends will come over and it will be easier. My mum came over for one week, but next year I think my family will move here, my mum and my sisters and brothers also.
'Some of the things that are written about me make me laugh because they are not true. I am a regular 20-year-old. I like to go to places like Dukes (a Manchester bar) when I'm out, just like every other young guy in the city. That is normal for someone my age, but maybe not normal for a footballer.'
At City, his team-mate Patrick Vieira - 'My dad,' jokes Balotelli - is a calming influence and the visit both of them made this week to St Ann's Hospice, in Cheadle, Cheshire, may help to impress on a young man who is paid £120,000 a week to play football just what a privileged life he leads.
Tall, strong and athletic, with a good shot and blistering pace, Balotelli has all the attributes to follow in the footsteps of his favourite Premier League player, Chelsea's Didier Drogba.
'When I play at my normal level, I think I can be one of the best players in the game,' he said.
First off, however, there is an FA Cup final to win.
It would be typical Balotelli if he ended up becoming the centre of attention again at Wembley, but he is adamant that he will happily sacrifice himself for the team, as long as City fans end up with their long-overdue silverware.
'I am not selfish, I just want to see my team win,' he said. 'If you want to win something, some trophies for yourself, you have to make your team win because you cannot win on your own.
'The best thing about English football is the supporters, and our supporters are great. I like them and I want to win the Cup for them. I want to win it, and to win it I must be positive. But I don't have to be the hero.'

Emmanuel Adebayor has admitted his relationship with Mancini was non-existent before he was sent out on loan to Real Madrid. "At City I didn't exist. Mancini didn't talk to me and people had forgotten about me," he said.
News of the World

Star B*ll*x
EASTLANDS bosses are ready to off-load misfit striker Felipe Caicedo to Atletico Madrid.
Manchester City striker Caicedo is being lined up to replace Diego Forlan, who is expected to quit the club in the summer.
The Ecuador frontman has already hit double figures in the goal charts for La Liga side Levante while on loan this season.
Atletico Madrid are now planning to snap him up but they face competition from Levante, who claim they have an agreement to sign Caicedo. City spent £5million on Caicedo during the Sven Goran Eriksson reign but he bagged just five goals in 27 games for the Blues.

WAG OF THE DAY
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OTHER BOLLOX
Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho is considering using Brazil star Kaka as bait to lure Chelsea's Frank Lampard to the Bernabeu. Sunday Mirror

Mourinho wants to make a £10m bid for Blues striker Didier Drogba - but the Ivory Coast hitman is unsure whether to leave Stamford Bridge. Daily Star

Chelsea are in talks with Ajax over Dutch full-back Gregory van der Wiel and Denmark midfielder Christian Eriksen, who starred against England in February. Sunday Mirror

Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp may sell Rafael Van der Vaart in the summer because the Dutchman's lack of mobility places restrictions on the team's formation. the People

Aston Villa assistant manager Gary McAllister says the club must work hard to keep hold of England winger Stewart Downing, amid rumoured interest from Manchester United and Liverpool. Metro

United boss Sir Alex Ferguson continues to target Inter Milan's £30m Dutch midfielder Wesley Sneijder - and has urged his club's owners, the Glazer family, to bankroll the deal. Mail on Sunday

Italian striker Federico Macheda may be allowed to leave Old Trafford in the summer, with Sampdoria keen to make his loan deal permanent. News of the World

Arsenal remain interested in Everton left-back Leighton Baines, who could be a replacement for one or both of Gael Clichy and Kieran Gibbs if contract talks with the pair are not settled. Metro

The Gunners are chasing £15m-rated German wonderkid Mario Goetze after rave reviews from Arsene Wenger's German scout. The Borussia Dortmund midfielder could be a replacement for Samir Nasri if the Frenchman fails to agree terms on a new deal. Sunday Mirror

Spurs are lining up a new bid for Newcastle midfielder Cheik Tiote - but hope to fare better than they did with their January approach by offering Wilson Palacios in part-exchange. Metro

Aston Villa keeper Brad Friedel could be a target for Midlands rivals West Brom after Baggies' stopper Scott Carson and understudy Boaz Myhill failed to impress new manager Roy Hodgson. Mail on Sunday

Villa boss Gerard Houllier has been given the green light to plan for next season, with former Liverpool defender John Arne Riise among his top targets.News of the World

After initially saying they accepted the FA's decision not to deduct points from Championship winners QPR, third-placed Swansea have now refused to rule out an appeal against the ruling, according to chairman Huw Jenkins. Mail on Sunday

Thomas Vermaelen could make his long-awaited return for Arsenal on Sunday at Stoke, striker Robin van Persie has hinted on Twitter. The Dutchman posted a picture of Belgian centre-half Vermaelen travelling with the Arsenal squad, and claimed he was "back and sharp as a razor". Metro

Ahead of another big Sunday contest, Manchester United winger Nani has warned opponents Chelsea that they will be beaten "by skill" if they try to turn the title showdown into a physical affair. Mail on Sunday

Ferguson has decided to stay at Old Trafford for at least another season - and hopes Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti will do the same. Sunday Express

Chelsea's 22-man squad will share a relatively modest prize of £2.6m if they win the title after bonuses at Stamford Bridge were slashed. News of the World

Tottenham will launch a fresh legal challenge to West Ham's move to the Olympic stadium this week. News of the World

Rio Ferdinand says a fear of failure motivates him to continue winning trophies - that and not wanting to return to having to drive a 'beat-up Ford Fiesta'. Mail on Sunday
Last edited by Chinners on Sun May 08, 2011 9:00 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: Sunday's B*ll*x

Postby Im_Spartacus » Sun May 08, 2011 8:39 am

You really have to laugh don't you. Tevez won't play in the cup final unless he is in training by Tuesday according to the story. So essentially it is a total non-story, made up to fill column inches given that he has been back in training all this last week unless I have missed something?
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Re: Sunday's B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Sun May 08, 2011 10:13 am

I quite like the cut of this fella's jib ... especially his parting comment.

Stoke City's Kenwyne Jones prefers to do his talking on the pitch
The striker Tony Pulis says can be 'out of this world' on his day will be Stoke's main man at Wembley
Kenwyne Jones is Stoke City's record £8m signing but he hardly seems content at the prospect of performing before 90,000 at Wembley in Saturday's FA Cup final against Manchester City. The 26-year-old has scored 11 times since moving from Sunderland last summer, a return that shows he is still searching for the consistent finishing touch possessed by the elite 20-goal-a-season band some believe he can join.
Yet ask about Tony Pulis, his manager, who says that he can be "out of this world" on his day, and Jones offers what proves to be a regulation spiky response: "I might do interviews but I don't pay attention to journalists. Everyone [is] always trying to make somebody in the mould of someone else. I really and truly don't pay attention."
How about John Terry's declaration that he is the best header of the ball in the Premier League? "If he said that – I never read it, it was told to me. All you can do is play football. You can get that compliment and it's fine, but it's just words," he says.
What of taking on Roberto Mancini's side? "Again," Jones says, sighing, "Manchester City is a very big football club, they've a massive fan base, resources, and world-class players. So it is going to be a test. We're just looking forward to doing our bit."
Producing what is required has been Stoke's way throughout the current campaign. After securing a fourth Premier League season since returning the club to the big time, Pulis now plots how to win their first FA Cup final and take the old pot back to the Potteries. A 5-0 shellacking of Bolton Wanderers in the semi-final at Wembley was as resounding a result as could be hoped for. Yet, predictably perhaps, Jones is unsure if this has altered the "boring Stoke" label the team attracts.
"If we won every game 10-0 next season we'd still be called 'boring Stoke'. It's not going to make a difference," he says. "I don't know where it comes from, you tell me. Everyone says it, but the thing is you report it, it's always there to read. We won 5-0, so what does that say?" Jones then offers his own answer: "It's sometimes nice to watch paint dry, you know that?"
The back story of the boy from Trinidad's Point Fortin is worth a glance. Not that Jones is keen to discuss it. His father, Pamphile, and his uncle Philbert inspired him to play football. While Jones took his back-flip goal celebration from Philbert, who was a star for the Trinidad & Tobago squad that nearly qualified for the 1990 World Cup, Pamphille was in the army, a career Jones considered.
"That was a long time ago. I've told this story many times. It wasn't mandatory, just a personal choice, making decisions in life, either you do one thing or you do the next, just for the sake of it," Jones says.
What attracted you to the army? "Nothing attracts you to the army," he says, indignantly. "I don't think anyone grows up thinking: 'I love the army.' It's still a route into playing football in Trinidad while having job security. It's not like I wanted to fight. It has nothing to do with not liking uniforms. My dad was in the army, it wasn't like I hated or didn't like authority."
To make it as a professional Jones decided against a college scholarship in the United States and instead hawked himself around Europe on trial. "This is really going back in history, but I had a few [trials] in England and Scotland and another in Holland," he says.
Try-outs at Manchester United and Middlesbrough in 2002 and later at West Ham United and Rangers came to nothing before he landed at Southampton seven years ago. Yet suggest that Jones took the harder option in declining college and his ire is sparked again: "I don't think it's the harder road. Because if you go to college you tend to lose that fire for playing football."
Finally, Jones played for his country against England in the 2006 World Cup. How will the Cup final compare? "Making the World Cup is a great achievement, playing in the Premier League is a great achievement: they all rank in the same place."
Discussion over, a photographer inquires if he can take a quick snap. "No," Jones says. Then he explains he agreed only to speak to the written press. Otherwise, he adds: "I would have told that lot to fuck off."
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Re: Sunday's B*ll*x

Postby Dameerto » Sun May 08, 2011 11:05 am

I still can't get over how wide he is, without being fat. He's got a very strange body profile.
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Re: Sunday's B*ll*x

Postby ant london » Sun May 08, 2011 11:08 am

Dameerto wrote:I still can't get over how wide he is, without being fat. He's got a very strange body profile.



anyone in particular?
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Re: Sunday's B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Sun May 08, 2011 11:09 am

ant london wrote:
Dameerto wrote:I still can't get over how wide he is, without being fat. He's got a very strange body profile.


anyone in particular?


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Re: Sunday's B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Sun May 08, 2011 7:42 pm

Shrek gives Chelsea the finger
Wayne Rooney is being investigated after allegedly giving the V's to the away section at Old Toilet today. Surprisingly (or not) the incident was not captured by TV cameras there, however there are already phone photos in circulation (I couldn't find any yet)
Unless the ref reports it nowt will happen.
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