Tuesday's B*ll*x

[Chinners]

Ronaldo snub for Man City (yawnnnnnn)
CRISTIANO RONALDO last night told Manchester City: I'm not going to sign for you.
The Real Madrid superstar dismissed talk of an astronomical £150million switch to Eastlands despite the lure of a jaw-dropping £21m a year in wages.
Ronaldo joked at the start before giving a confounding answer when told of the salary on offer.
He said: "It's not bad huh? We have to think about it well. I'm not going to City. I give you my word. I'm not going. Money is not the most important thing.
"If it was for money I could have the double of what I have.
"If it was for money I would leave. The most important thing is the behaviour of the people and they treat me tremendously here and I am very happy in Madrid."
Ronaldo, 26, on £13.5m a year, has bagged 54 goals in a record-breaking season and smashed the winner in the Copa Del Rey final against Barcelona.
He's banged 87 goals in 89 matches since his £80m world-record switch from Manchester United two summers ago.
The Portugal ace who has four years left on his contract insisted he'd sign for life for the Spanish giants to end all talk of a move to City. Speaking to Cope radio he added: "I would sign for 10 years for Madrid, until the end of my career. Why not sign for life?" Sun

Chelsea and Manchester City 'to target David Villa' if Barcelona decide to sell
Manchester City and Chelsea will file bids for David Villa if Barcelona choose to cash in on the Spanish international in order to fund a move for Arsenal’s Cesc Fabregas.
The former Valencia man scored in the Champions League final win over Manchester United, but may be shipped out in order to make way for fresh new faces at the Nou Camp.
Gunners captain Fabregas tops their wanted list, while Barca also have Villarreal striker Giuseppe Rossi, and Udinese winger Alexis Sanchez on their radar.
Villa was only signed last summer for £35million, and after scoring 18 goals in La Liga last season, it’s unlikely Pep Guardiola will want to part with the Spanish international.
But after Barca revealed they only have £40million to spend in the transfer market, the manager might be forced to sacrifice one of his star forward line if he wants to finance deals for his other targets, and a £40million bid from Chelsea or City for Villa may be too much to refuse.

Man City move closer to signing Argentinian hit man
Man City continue to scour the global transfer markets looking to add to their already abundant squad and the latest player strongly linked with Roberto Mancini’s outfit is Napoli striker Ezequiel Lavezzi.
The striker, nicknamed El Pocho, apparently has knowledge of Man City’s strong interest and representatives for the player and Manchester City, according to reports, are already in contact with a view to broker a deal that will eventually take Lavezzi to Eastlands.
Lavezzi has been at Napoli since 2007, has made 126 appearances, scoring 27 times and represented Argentina 11 times, however he was left out of Diego Maradona’s 2010 World Cup squad selection, which in itself may see some questions asked about the real quality the 26 year old would bring to Man City, especially if he is seen as some sort of replacement for Carlos Tevez.
Reports suggest that Manchester City are looking at paying around €18 million for the Argentine striker, a figure that would normally raise highbrows, not with Man City though.

City winging it! Big spenders up bid for Sanchez to £27m but star favours United
Manchester City finally stamped their mark on the summer transfer market by opening talks over a £27million deal for Udinese winger Alexis Sanchez.
The Barclays Premier League's big spenders have remained surprisingly quiet while rivals Manchester United have lined up deals worth almost £50m for Ashley Young, Phil Jones and David De Gea.
Vital Statistics...
Name: Alexis Sanchez
Born: December 19, 1988
Birthplace: Tocopilla, Chile
Height: 5ft 6in
36 Caps for Chile
53 Total career goals for club and country
2 Chilean league titles with Colo-Colo in 2006 and 2007
2 trophies with Argentinian side River Plate in 2008 — league and cup
3rd place in FIFA U20
World Cup in 2007
United have also been linked with Sanchez, but City raised their offer for the Chile winger, 22, on Friday and chief executive Garry Cook and football administrator Brian Marwood flew to Italy over the weekend in the hope of capturing their long-time target.
City bid £21m for Sanchez in March but Udinese value one of the most exciting talents in Serie A at £30m. However, club president Giampaolo Pozzo, whose son Gino is heading the negotiations, said City are favourites to sign him ahead of Barcelona, Inter Milan and Juventus.
'If Sanchez were to leave I would give City the highest percentage to sign him because English football is rich and it knows how to value young talent,' said Pozzo. 'Inter, Juventus, Barca and City are all after Sanchez but no concrete offers reflecting the value of the player have arrived.
Target: Sanchez is wanted by Barcelona and top Italian sides as well as City
So, who is Alexis Sanchez? He’s the 22-year-old Chile star who has caught the eye of scouts across Europe this season — particularly in the blue half of Manchester. He plays as a winger-cum-forward for Italian club Udinese.
Is he worth all the cash?
The Italians have been raving about his skills and dribbling ability all season, and have compared him to a young Cristiano Ronaldo. Last season he scored four goals in a 7-0 victory against Palermo.
Which position suits him best?
Hard to say. He started out as a traditional right winger, but his manager, Francesco Guidolin, has tinkered with his position to great effect. He has regularly been used in the middle, playing off a striker. For City, Sanchez could be used in several attacking positions.
What’s his story?
He was born in the city of Tocopilla in Chile and started at local team Cobreloa before being snapped up by Udinese as a 17-year-old. However, before he was ready for European football, he enjoyed two productive loan spells with Colo-Colo in his homeland and Argentinian giants River Plate. He has represented Chile 36 times and scored 12 goals. He was an integral part of the exciting team which reached the last 16 at last summer’s World Cup before losing to Brazil.
Will he replace Carlos Tevez at City?
No. He isn’t a natural striker and is not yet a prolific goalscorer. Last season was his best in front of goal, with 12 in 31 games in Serie A. So do not expect Sanchez to be leading the line if he signs for City.
'I've already spoken with Alexis and his agent and I think they will understand I can't give him away.'
City face a battle to persuade Sanchez to move to England with the Spanish-speaking player said to favour Barcelona. The European champions looked set to sign him last month but also fell well short of Udinese's asking price despite suggestions Bojan and Thiago Alcantara could be part of the deal.
Barca's transfer budget is limited to £40m and they are reluctant to spend such a large portion of it on Sanchez when Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas and Villarreal's former United striker Giuseppe Rossi remain top targets.
Inter and Juve joined the bidding for Sanchez, who moved to Udinese from Chilean side Club de Deportes Cobreloa for £2m in 2006. But the Serie A rivals were put off by Udinese's tough negotiating stance and that brought City back to the table after Cook and Marwood had watched Sanchez towards the end of the season.
They have raised their bid significantly and are considering the option of a player-plus-cash deal, with Slovakia winger Vladimir Weiss mentioned as a possible makeweight.
City are well aware, however, they could yet face competition from United. Sir Alex Ferguson hijacked Jones's move from Blackburn to Liverpool last week and Sanchez is believed to favour Old Trafford to Eastlands if he was to move to England. There are even suggestions in Spain Ferguson has already spoken to Sanchez.
After three years of heavy spending, City sources claim they plan to make only two big signings this summer. There has been some disagreement between manager Roberto Mancini and his bosses over the club's transfer plans, but it is thought the number of players arriving will depend on City's ability to off-load the likes of Emmanuel Adebayor, Craig Bellamy, Shay Given, Roque Santa Cruz and Wayne Bridge.

OTHER BOLLOX
Barcelona will make a big push to sign Cesc Fabregas while the Arsenal midfielder is on holiday in the city this week. The Catalan side value the 24-year-old at £35m and are ready to offer the Gunners their choice of players in return. Daily Mirror

Liverpool may face another battle with Blackpool this week over their valuation of Charlie Adam, 25, with the Seasiders looking for £10m for the Scottish international midfielder. Daily Mail

Centre-back Younes Kaboul, 25, wants to quit Tottenham and join Marseille in an £8.5m deal. the Sun

Didier Drogba, 33, has emerged as a potential pawn in Chelsea's bid to land £30m-rated midfielder Luka Modric, 25, from Tottenham. Daily Mirror

Chelsea are ready to offer Modric £130,000-a-week to defect to Stamford Bridge. the Sun

But Spurs manager Harry Redknapp is ready to battle it out with Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger to sign Blackburn defender Chris Samba, 27. Daily Mirror

Arsenal are set to face a transfer fight with Paris St Germain for the signatures of Lille ace Gervinho and St Etienne midfielder Blaise Matuidi, who are both 24. Metro

The Gunners are heading the chase for £3.5m-rated left-back Alexander Milosevic, 19, who plays for Swedish side AIK Solna. the Sun

Wigan are expecting a scramble for £9m-rated striker Charles N'Zogbia after granting the 25-year-old his wish to leave. the Sun

Burnley winger Chris Eagles, 25, wants to join Everton this summer after the Toffees failed to lure the former Manchester United star to Goodison Park during the January transfer window. talkSport

Inter Milan have emerged as the latest club to eye up a move for Arsenal midfielder Samir Nasri, 23, who has been linked with a shock switch to Manchester United. talkSport

The Italian club is also looking into signing 28-year-old midfielder Michael Essien from Chelsea, with Wesley Sneijder, 27, moving in the opposite direction. Footybunker.com

Real Madrid midfielder Mesut Ozil, 22, insists he has no intention of joining Manchester United after his agent revealed Red Devils boss Sir Alex Ferguson had made an enquiry. Metro

Sunderland have offered £5m for Birmingham's 24-year-old midfielder Craig Gardner. Daily Mail

The Black Cats are also keen on Paris St Germain striker Mevlut Erding. Newcastle are also interested in the 24-year-old Turkish forward, who is valued at £9m. the Sun

Blackpool midfielder David Vaughan, 28, is eyeing a Premier League return with Sunderland after rejecting a new contract offer, believed to be in the region of £10,000-a-week. Daily Express

Ipswich striker Connor Wickham, 18, will snub Sunderland in the hope of landing a move to Liverpool. the Sun

Leeds winger Elliot Kebbie, 16, has joined European champions Barcelona on trial in the hope of securing a permanent switch to the Catalan side. the Sun

Fulham are pushing former Newcastle boss Chris Hughton for an answer on whether he wants to become Martin Jol's assistant manager. Hughton has delayed his decision because he is waiting to hear if he has landed the managerial position at Cardiff.Daily Mail

However, 52-year-old Hughton has emerged as a front-runner to succeed Alex McLeish as Birmingham manager. Daily Mirror

Newly-retired Paul Scholes, 36, has revealed that Sir Alex Ferguson begged him to continue playing for Manchester United. the Sun

Guus Hiddink, who is set to be confirmed as Chelsea manager this week, wants owner Roman Abramovich to swallow his pride and let sacked Ray Wilkins return to the coaching staff after the former England captain parted company with the club in October. Daily Mirror

[Ted Hughes]

Cheers Chinners.

I suddenly want us to sign Lavezzi, purely on the strength of his nickname 'El Pocho'.

[Dameerto]

I want to sign him purely because he's Argentinian.

[bobby brows]

Today''s mill confirms how in accurate the guardian can be when it comes to football news:

Despite the weariness brought on by constantly having to jockey with his manager for the position of Real Madrid's preening show-pony in chief, Cristiano Ronaldo has dismissed talk of a move to Manchester City for £150m, on an eye-watering salary of £21m per annum. "I'm not going to City," he told the Spanish radio station Cope, although that hasn't stopped the Sun billing the story as its own "exclusive". "I give you my word. I'm not going. Money is not the most important thing. If it was for money I could have the double of what I have. If it was for money I would leave. The most important thing is the behaviour of the people and they treat me tremendously here and I am very happy in Madrid."


With the Arsenal chief executive, Ivan Gazidis, having reassured supporters with the astonishing revelation that "some new signings will be coming in and some of our existing squad will be going out" during the current period of transfer activity, now seems as good a time as any to rub the gelled-up defibrillator paddles together, shout "clear!" and apply them to the chest of that Cesc Fábregas-to-Barcelona rumour that's been doing the rounds for the past three years. In a story backed up by no quotes of any kind, today's Mirror reports that the Spanish champions are on the verge of offering Arsenal £35m and their pick of Camp Nou whelps Thiago Alcântara, Martín Montoya, Jonathan dos Santos or Andreu Fontàs in exchange for their captain, who is apparently holidaying in his Catalonian home town this week.


On the subject of tired transfer speculation you've almost certainly heard before, Tottenham may attempt to hijack Arsenal's bid to bring Christopher Samba to the Emirates from Blackburn, Liverpool still want Blackpool's Scottish playmaker Charlie Adam but will have to pay £10m to get him, and Manchester City have become the latest moneybags outfit to express an interest in signing this summer's transfer target du jour Alexis Sánchez from Udinese, probably for no other reason than every other big club in Europe wants him too. The figure being bandied about there? £24m, which might sound like a lot of money but isn't really when you consider we now live in a world where Sunderland can offload fairly bogstandard young box-to-box midfielders for £20m without anyone batting an eyelid. City are also being linked with Ezequiel Lavezzi, having apparently earmarked Napoli's Argentinian striker as a replacement for their own disaffected Argentinian striker Carlos Tevez, whose picture now appears alongside the word 'unsettled' in Countdown's Dictionary Corner.


On the subject of pictures of chippy strikers, the blueprint for managerless Chelsea's fiendishly clever plan to sign Luka Modric from Tottenham now features photographs of Didier Drogba, Stamford Bridge, White Hart Lane and the Croatian midfielder, with a selection of strategically placed arrows to help make things clearer for John Terry whenever he gets back from that nice holiday he's trying to enjoy with his wife, if only those annoying photographers into whose paths they keep 'accidentally' stumbling would leave them alone.


The Arsenal winger Samir Nasri has taken time out from his hectic Being Linked With Manchester United schedule to be linked with Inter, according to talkSPORT. The Serie A side are also interested in offering the Chelsea midfielder Michael Essien a new home and may send Wesley Sneijder to Stamford Bridge in exchange should their efforts to sign either Luka Modric or the Palermo midfielder Javier Pastore hit the skids.


The Tottenham defender Younès Kaboul is set to change his name by deed poll to the Marseille defender Younes Kaboul, subject to the French side paying their north London counterparts £8.5m.


As unlikely as it might sound, in a snippet of transfer speculation likely to get pulses on Wearside racing even more quickly than those rumours about the imminent arrival of Wes Brown, John O'Shea and Darron Gibson at the Stadium of Light, the Sunderland manager, Steve Bruce, has bid £5m of his Jordan Henderson-to-Liverpool windfall on the Birmingham midfielder Craig Gardner. In other decidedly underwhelming transfer tittle-tattle, the Mackems are also being linked with the wantaway Blackpool midfielder David Vaughan and PSG's Turkish striker Mevlut Erding.


And finally, if all that's not exciting enough for you, you'll almost certainly be donning your crash helmet, fastening your seatbelt and bracing yourself for the news that Chris Eagles wants to leave Burnley for Everton and doesn't care who knows it.

[Douglas Higginbottom]

Brilliant B*ll*x as ever Chinners but what b*ll*x it really is!

I really did take up the wrong career because it does seem writing drivel is seen as a job nowadays and I have always been good at that. Is anybody supposed to believe that we offered that much money for tranny plus those wages? I rarely read all the crap that is written and never believe it when I do but it does get to ridiculous levels.I am sure Mancini has a laugh every day.

It's almost like play battleships.Just lobbing bombs out all over the place and eventually hitting on something. A bit of peace and quiet would be nice so I can carry on my summer cricket hibernation.

[lets all have a disco]

Brilliant B*ll*x as ever Chinners but what b*ll*x it really is!

I really did take up the wrong career because it does seem writing drivel is seen as a job nowadays and I have always been good at that. Is anybody supposed to believe that we offered that much money for tranny plus those wages? I rarely read all the crap that is written and never believe it when I do but it does get to ridiculous levels.I am sure Mancini has a laugh every day.

It's almost like play battleships.Just lobbing bombs out all over the place and eventually hitting on something. A bit of peace and quiet would be nice so I can carry on my summer cricket hibernation.

Not much of that to be had in June so far.