Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

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Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Patrick » Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:01 am

According to reports Chinners could not get it up this mornings so its Mountain Bollox time - Yeee Hawww


Roberto Mancini will offer £15million to prise Samir Nasri away from Arsenal.

The Manchester City manager agreed a £7m deal with the Gunners for defender Gael Clichy yesterday.

And now he is threatening to decimate Arsene Wenger’s midfield with an offer that would take Nasri to Eastlands just as Arsenal skipper Cesc Fabregas moves to Barcelona for a fee approaching £40m.

Clichy will arrive on £65,000 a week, but City are believed to be ready to offer Nasri a massive £180,000 a week to reject overtures from Manchester United and AC Milan.


Liverpool are reportedly taking an interest in Man City star Jamer Milner as reports circulate that the England international may not be happy at Eastlands. Speculation has been rife in recent weeks about possible interest in the 25 year old from his former club Aston Villa and apparently Kenny Dalglish is now monitoring the situation with a view to making a possible bid for the attacking midfielder.

Milner arrived at Eastlands last August after a long drawn out battle between the two clubs, which came just days after Martin O’Neill left Villa Park. The £26m deal also saw Stephen Ireland move in the opposite direction and should have seen the former Leeds and Newcastle United man continue his progression but in many ways his first season at Man City has been a stop/start one that has been punctuated by periods of poor form.

Roberto Mancini had begun the season with Milner as a first team regular but then started to bring the intelligent midfielder on from the bench and it was this end of season treatment that is said to have disappointed the adaptable talent which in turn has led to rumours of a possible departure from the City of Manchester Stadium.

Man City’s ongoing pursuit of Alexis Sanchez has also not pleased £20m rated Milner and now Liverpool have joined Aston Villa in the chase for the England regular.

Kenny Dalglish is eager to add more quality signings this summer and has already brought in Sunderland youngster Jordan Henderson and will be greatly interested in Jamer Milner’s ability to ply his trade in an advanced central midfield role but perhaps more usefully, out wide, where he could fill one of Liverpool’s problem areas.

Liverpool’s owners are ready to fund substantial moves in the transfer market and have an eye to the future and Milner at 25 is nearing his peak years and has already amassed an impressive 300 plus top level apperances.

Dalglish is keen to bring in some creative talent that can help provide the ammunition for strike pairing Luis Suarez and Andy Carroll and Milner’s ability to consistently deliver quality crosses into the box will be a much needed boost to the club’s attack.

Liverpool are also said to be interested in Blackpool playmaker Charlie Adam and Aston Villa winger Stewart Downing, but moves for both players have become lengthy drawn out affairs and perhaps a move for James Milner would trump those potential additions.


Aston Villa are looking to Manchester City as they begin to make repairs to a squad that has already lost Ashley Young to Manchester United and possibly still lose Stewart Downing to Liverpool.

New Villa manager Alex McLeish wants an immediate attack minded replacement for Young and see’s Shaun Wright-Phillips as an ideal player to join the Villans. Wright-Phillips has not enjoyed much playing time at Manchester City and he may prefer a move this summer although there is also interest from Bolton Wanderers.

McLeish is also aware that a good quality goalkeeper is required after losing American Brad Friedel to Tottenham Hotspur earlier this month and the former Birmingham City manager has highlighted Shay Given’s name as the man to step into the previous number one’s shoes.

Manchester City already have plenty of talent on their books and are looking to add quality this summer, however, a lack of first team action for both players could see them requesting a transfer if enough interest is shown by Villa who are expected to make a bid for both in early July.

Whats on in Chatel this weekend

http://www.zapiks.com/chatel-mountain-s ... 10--1.html

Mountain Wag of the day

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OTHER B*LL*X

Arsenal are poised to pip rivals Tottenham to land 24-year-old Ivory Coast striker Gervinho from French club Lille in an £11m deal.

Arsenal have also been linked with a surprise move for Manchester United's Republic of Ireland international John O'Shea.

Liverpool have been told by Blackpool they will have to part with £9m to bring Scotland midfielder Charlie Adam to Anfield.

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson will look to continue his summer of spending with a move for Rennes' France international midfielder Yann M'Vila.

Chelsea have offered £45m for Palermo playmaker Javier Pastore, according to his club.

The Blues will turn their full attention to Porto midfielder Moutinho should they fail in their attempts to land Udinese winger Alexis Sanchez and Brazil forward Neymar from Santos, both of whom they have been linked with recently.

However, Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas's first signing at Stamford Bridge will be 17-year-old Barcelona striker Gael Etock.

This summer, the Catalan club have turned down "substantial" offers from England for midfielder Thiago Alcantara, says his father, who is also his agent. Arsenal, Manchester United and Bolton were all understood to be interested in signing the Spain Under-21 player this summer.

Arsenal are lining up a club record bid for Anderlecht's highly rated teenage striker Romelu Lukaku.

The Gunners remain keen on Bolton defender Gary Cahill. Wanderers want £17m for the player but Arsenal may offer Henri Lansbury or Ignasi Miguel in part exchange.

Tottenham want £20m-rated Athletic Bilbao and Spain striker Fernando Llorente, but Harry Redknapp has been told he must sell two of Robbie Keane, Roman Pavlyuchenko, Peter Crouch and Jermain Defoe first.

Tottenham are ready to rekindle their interest in Villareal's £35m-rated striker Giuseppe Rossi after his agent said a proposed move to Barcelona was "definitely off".

Everton are lining up Tottenham Hotspur midfielder Niko Kranjcar as a possible replacement for Mikel Arteta, who could be heading to Spain this summer.

Everton are favourites to land former Cardiff City striker Jay Bothroyd. He left Cardiff on 23 May after failing to agree a new deal with the Welsh side and has been linked to numerous clubs in the past few weeks.

Italian side Lazio are poised to make a move for West Ham midfielder Julien Faubert.

Sunderland boss Steve Bruce wants to continue his summer spending by signing defender Wes Brown from Manchester United. The Black Cats have already recruited five players in the close season.

Bolton are considering a move for Rangers' Spanish striker Nacho Novo.

QPR manager Neil Warnock has conceded that the club are struggling to sign players for the upcoming Premier League season. "We've targeted a number of players during the last few weeks and although we've missed out on some, the board are continuing to work hard to assist me in bringing new additions to the football club," said Warnock.


Liverpool coach Steve Clarke admits the Reds may have to start the season without striker Luis Suarez and midfielder Lucas. The duo are on international duty in Argentina at the Copa America, which does not finish until 24 July, meaning they may need time to recover ahead of the Premier League kick-off on 13 August.


Midfielder Phil Neville is on the verge of a signing a contract that is set to keep him at Everton for the rest of his career. The former England international, 34, has 12 months left on his current deal.



AND FINALLY

Liverpool midfielder Lucas has been enjoying a rather unusual summer break by spending time on his cattle ranch. A picture of the Brazilian enjoying his holiday has gone viral on the internet.

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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby mr_nool » Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:13 am

Nothing beats a good Husqvarna - the king chain saws. Great pic!
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Crossie » Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:17 am

One big transfer will set everything rolling. The world waits for us and Barca to make our moves.

I feel abit sorry for QPR, all that money, but know one knows who the fuck they are. Gonna have to sign some controversial foreigners or Joey Barton, some ageing Beckhams and Owens, and pray that they stay up and have a cup run.
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby lets all have a disco » Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:37 am

mr_nool wrote:Nothing beats a good Husqvarna - the king chain saws. Great pic!


Chainsaws are too gay.

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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby craigmcfc » Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:53 am

Not with her holding it they're not LAHAD
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby DoomMerchant » Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:56 am

Dear Patrick,

well done. i like your bollox. Do you think in the future you could tell us more about your mountain lifestyle and include more flannel and more tools? Also, when i say tools i don't mean it like the kids mean it, meaning you can't just mention Noolie or Craigmcfc and have that count in the tool count for the bollox, know what i mean?

Again, thank you for your really huge and also informative bollox.

cheers
viVa el ciTy!

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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:06 am

Cheers for doing that Patricia .... and I did get it up!
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby craigmcfc » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:11 am

DM -
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Craig-
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Just sayin

Thanks
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:12 am

Ha ha, cap doffed
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Rag_hater » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:18 am

The Dippers want our James for his crossing ability.
I think they have a point and to me I think him Zabba and Micah are all more than reasonable at it.
I don't agree with the argument that we don't cross the ball enough.
To make the ball fly in a threatening trajectory every time is not gonna happen.
I think playing James out wide uses him to his best abilites as to me he is the best crosser on the side and although he is not lightening he isn't a slow coach.
The stuff that he should be played more centrally I don't think is right.

I like that Wag by the way
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby craigmcfc » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:23 am

Welcome to the Tool Club RH
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby DoomMerchant » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:26 am

craigmcfc wrote:DM -
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Craig-
Image

Just sayin

Thanks


i prefer the actual tool to the tiny little "do it all" devices. You can keep your inspector gadget. I'll take the Channellock.

cheers
viVa el ciTy!

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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Mikhail Chigorin » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:47 am

Liverpool now seem to be prepared to offer silly amounts for players these days; wonder if we could get £30+ million out of them for Milner ?? If we could, should we let him go ??

Ludicrous thought but I wonder if Arsenal would consider exchanging Adebayor for Nasri ??
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby avoidconfusion » Fri Jul 01, 2011 10:50 am

15m pounds for Nasri? Fuck me what a signing that would be.
so now as every enemy circles our city
sour and sore, we swear war
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Slim » Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:08 am

avoidconfusion wrote:15m pounds for Nasri? Fuck me what a signing that would be.


1 year left on contract, it would be Sanchez saga all over again if he was on 3+.
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Scatman » Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:10 am

Rag_hater wrote:The Dippers want our James for his crossing ability.
I think they have a point and to me I think him Zabba and Micah are all more than reasonable at it.
I don't agree with the argument that we don't cross the ball enough.
To make the ball fly in a threatening trajectory every time is not gonna happen.
I think playing James out wide uses him to his best abilites as to me he is the best crosser on the side and although he is not lightening he isn't a slow coach.
The stuff that he should be played more centrally I don't think is right.

I like that Wag by the way


You need to make a few more of the lines rhyme but it is a good first effort
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby bobby brows » Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:31 am

Friday's Slightly Stale Rumour Mill

As avid readers of this column will have noticed from the fact that it makes the same joke about John O'Shea being big boned every day, the Mill doesn't like change. So the prospect of Cesc Fábregas actually moving to Barcelona fills us with dread. What's the Mill to do without its staple rumour? Leave the office? Make some phone calls? Do some research?

Luckily, Chelsea are here to save the day. Yep, according to the Mirror they've signed Barcelona's 17-year-old striker Gael Etock from the Catalans' finishing school – the Mill imagines this is a place in the Swiss Alps where you learn how to pass dead good and develop a massive sense of self-satisfaction – which means we can all look forward to "Etock: I want to return to Barça" rumours for the next seven years.

Chelsea aren't finished there, though. They're after the greatest playmaker this side of Sir Trevor Nunn, Javier Pastore. Here's Palermo president Maurizio Zamparini, who is in no way trying to push up Pastore's price. "Pastore is a phenomenal player and there are three or four clubs interested in him," Zamparini said. "I am a businessman and I will not lose my cool, but it is clear that clubs who want Pastore must have the economic power to submit a proposal. Chelsea are one of the clubs concerned."

Arsène Wenger is planning what to do with the cash he generates from proposed deals for Fábregas, Gaël Clichy and Samir Nasri and the Sun reckons they've all but signed Gervinho from Lille. He's also said to be after Anderlecht's 11-year-old striker Romelu Lukaku for £18m and, wait for it, Manchester United's big-boned utility man John O'Shea. An unproven striker and John O'Shea, that will appease the angry focaccia-munching hordes in north London then.

Wenger should sign someone good, like Charles N'Zogbia. But Alex McLeish – who's probably quite happy he's not at Birmingham City right now – has already thought of that one and hopes to wrap up a £9m deal in the next 114 hours.

Spurs have got strikers on the brain like they were a radical teachers' union. Or just a normal teachers' union. Anyway, they'll sell Robbie Keane and Roman Pavlyuchenko and, using that cash and a little bit of charm, they'll snap up Athletic Bilbao striker Fernando Llorente for £20m. If that bid fails they'll go for Villarreal's Giuseppe Rossi, the man with the most Italian name in football.

Staying in the striking world, Fulham, Stoke, Sunderland and QPR are all in the frame to buy DJ Campbell from Blackpool. The Seasiders are also offering a Charlie Adam for £9m if you're interested.

West Brom are looking to fill a Scott Carson-shaped hole – think of a large hole sucking tame shots into a net – by signing Tomasz Kuszczak from Manchester United for £2.5m. Fulham don't really have that many holes but that won't stop them buying Leeds winger Max Gradel.

Leicester are about to sign former footballer Jonathan Woodgate. Then they'll sign Craig Mackail-Smith for £3m. Oh and Lazio will sign West Ham midfielder and author of Madame Bovary, Julien Faubert. The Mill's done that joke before too but, as we say, change is a terrible thing.
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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Niall Quinns Discopants » Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:33 am

mr_nool wrote:Nothing beats a good Husqvarna - the king chain saws. Great pic!


Typical Swede.
Sometimes we're good and sometimes we're bad but when we're good, at least we're much better than we used to be and when we are bad we're just as bad as we always used to be, so that's got to be good hasn't it?


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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Slim » Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:47 am

Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:
mr_nool wrote:Nothing beats a good Husqvarna - the king chain saws. Great pic!


Typical Swede.


Idiot, this is a swede...

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Re: Patricks Mountain B*ll*x

Postby Scatman » Fri Jul 01, 2011 11:58 am

Slim wrote:
Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:
mr_nool wrote:Nothing beats a good Husqvarna - the king chain saws. Great pic!


Typical Swede.


Idiot, this is a swede...

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that's three swedes
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