Tuesday's B*ll*x

[Chinners]

Official Bollox
Tevez trumps Clichy in headline stakes
That buzzing sound you can hear is the sound of keyboards going into meltdown the world over in reflection of two big City-related stories breaking out.

We will have pleased football scribes by buying Gael Clichy after weeks of speculation, but the statement from Carlos Tevez leads, inevitably, to a huge number of headlines this morning.

There are literally dozens of versions of the same story to choose from, with Sky giving it to you straight with “Tevez seeks City departure". The Telegraph goes for the more cynical "Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez issues another transfer request", and Mark Ogden adds that we are already weighing up a replacement:
"It is understood that City will respond quickly to Tévez’s request by stepping up their pursuit of Sergio Agüero, the coveted Argentina forward at Atlético Madrid."

Our exclusive with new boy Gael Clichy has naturally been picked up by all and sundry, and again you'll see pretty much the same thing in many places.
We won't repeat what Gael told us - you'll already have read it and seen it on mcfc.co.uk anyway - but the Independent's Ian Herbert has also been scrutinizing what we posted.
"City's website, which screened an interview with Clichy, pointed out that the arrival of the 25-year-old, who has 45 Champions League appearances under his belt but has scored only twice in his eight years in north London, presented a challenge to the current £16m left-back Aleksander Kolarov."

The return to pre-season training "ramps up" the transfer speculation, with Stoke said to be vying for Craig Bellamy's services along with Celtic, according to The Guardian among others. But Celtic's Joe Ledley would like to see Craig back at Parkhead and cites a memorable Manchester derby:
"Craig Bellamy would also be a great signing," said Ledley on the UTV web site.
"Craig has been here before and he enjoyed his time here. On his day he can be one of the greatest.
"I remember the derby game a couple of years ago away to Manchester United where he was totally fantastic for City."
mcfc.co.uk

Gael Clichy’s turn to bait Manchester United after joining City ... zzz
GAEL CLICHY has become the latest Manchester City new recruit to settle in at Eastlands by launching a sarcastic swipe at United.
In January, Edin Dzeko made the point he had been told most football fans in a divided city support the Sky Blues.
The jibe did not go down well at Old Trafford, especially as memories were still fresh of the inflammatory ‘Welcome to Manchester’ poster that proclaimed the capture of Carlos Tevez and led to Alex Ferguson’s condemnation as “stupid and arrogant”. Now Clichy has come out with a similar statement to Dzeko, raising the temperature of a Mancunian duel which now involves the clubs who hold the most important two domestic trophies and will contest the Community Shield at Wembley next month.
“I understand that the people who live in Manchester are the true fans. They are from City,” Clichy said.
“That is a good point. I won’t be bothered by United fans.”
Not that Clichy lacks respect for the Red Devils. It is just that, after eight years at Arsenal, he is intent on doing something the Gunners have not managed in the past six – winning something.
“There is no limit at Manchester City,” he said.
“Of course, you have to be realistic but there is no limit. Where they have come from in three years is phenomenal. And I want to win things.”
Observations issued through the medium of an interview with the club he has just joined are unlikely to be too revealing about the failings of the team he has left behind.
Compared to Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri, who is also on City’s wanted list and has been tipped to be reunited quickly with Roberto Mancini’s first summer signing, Clichy may not be quite as important to most Gunners fans.
However, if the star duo also quit, big questions will be asked of the Londoners’ future direction.
“My season was a bit like the team’s,” reflected Clichy on another barren campaign at the Emirates.
“We started well and collapsed at the end of the season after the (Carling Cup) final.
“These things happen in football. That is why you can see the importance of having a big squad.
“We had a few players out at the same time. It was difficult to cope with that. We lost Fabregas and (Robin) van Persie at the same time. Sometimes it is difficult to have a lot of players because you have to leave some out. But you need to have a big squad.”
Clichy has penned a lucrative four-year contract and is now in direct competition with Aleksandar Kolarov for the left-back berth.

Stoke City may lose out to Celtic in race for Craig Bellamy
Manchester City forward set for another loan deal • Bellamy fits Tony Pulis's profile of experienced recruit
It is highly unlikely that Craig Bellamy will return to Cardiff City for another loan spell. Photograph: Stu Forster/Getty Images Europe
Stoke City have joined the race to sign Craig Bellamy from Manchester City, with Celtic, Sunderland and Blackburn Rovers also exploring the possibility of taking the Welshman on a season-long loan.
Bellamy has one year remaining on his contract at Eastlands but there is also a 12-month option that is in the club's favour, meaning that City can still ask for a significant fee for the 31-year-old. There is certainly no chance of Bellamy remaining at City, with Roberto Mancini, the club's manager, having made it clear last summer that the striker is not part of his plans.
The most likely outcome is that Bellamy, who spent last season on loan with Cardiff City, where he scored 11 goals in 36 appearances, will be allowed out on loan for another campaign. City, however, have no intention of sanctioning another deal where they cover the majority of the player's wages, which was the case with Cardiff.
Tony Pulis would be keen to take Bellamy on a season-long loan as he seeks to add more firepower to his forward line. The Stoke manager also retains an interest in Birmingham City's Cameron Jerome and West Ham United's Carlton Cole, and it may well be that signing either of those players is more straightforward than Bellamy, who stated last season that he would not play for another Premier League club other than Manchester City.
At that point, Bellamy was talking in terms of returning to Cardiff for a second season, as part of his dream to lead his hometown club into the Premier League, although he now appears to accept that it is highly unlikely that will happen. Celtic, where Bellamy spent the second half of the 2004‑05 season, appears his most likely destination, with the Scottish Premier League club keen to secure his services for a second time.
Pulis, nonetheless, would like the opportunity to test the water with Bellamy. The Stoke manager is keen to add experience and quality to his squad ahead of a season that will place greater demands on his players because of the club's participation in the Europa League. Bellamy fits that profile.

Hamsik favours AC Milan move over Manchester City
Manchester City target Marek Hamsik says he wants to join AC Milan if he leaves Napoli this summer.
Roberto Mancini is interested in the Slovakian midfielder, who was one of the stars as Napoli qualified for the Champions League last season.
But the 23-year-old says his preference would be to move to the San Siro rather than Eastlands.
"Why AC Milan? Because they have won everything there is," he told Gazzetta Dello Sport. "They would help me develop.
"Also because they won the League last year and they are the most successful club in the world. And [Clarence] Seedorf is the greatest

Manchester City are after highly regarded Atletico Madrid and Argentina striker Sergio Aguero - but they face strong competition from Juventus.the Times



OTHER BOLLOX
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is to make Lyon's Aly Cissokho his prime target to fill the vacant left-back position after the departure of Gael Clichy to Manchester City. footybunker

Wenger also wants to sell Samir Nasri to an overseas club, rather than to Manchester United or Manchester City, if the midfielder cannot be persuaded to sign a new contract with the Gunners. Italian giants Inter Milan are one of the clubs said to be interested. Daily Mirror

Midfielder Cesc Fabregas is to confirm his desire to leave the north Londoners for Barcelona in a meeting with Wenger on Tuesday. the Guardian

However, Wenger will aim to show Arsenal fans that the Gunners still have ambition by making big-money offers for Lille playmaker Eden Hazard and Valencia forward Juan Mata. caughtoffside

Premier League newcomers QPR are reported to be interested in both Newcastle United winger Wayne Routledge and Liverpool midfielder Joe Cole as they look to secure their future after returning to the top flight. footybunker

Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas is weighing up Real Madrid defensive midfielder Pepe. The interest in the Portugal international may signal the end of John Mikel Obi's time at Stamford Bridge and he has been linked with a move to Italy. footbunker

Tottenham face a battle with Juventus to sign Villarreal striker Giuseppe Rossi after his agent refused to rule out a move to the Italian giants. talksport

Paris St Germain are interested in Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka and Manchester United forward Dimitar Berbatov as new boss Leonardo looks to spend big this summer. caughtoffside

Frustrated Bolton manager Owen Coyle has urged clubs tracking £17m-rated defender Gary Cahill to pay up or shut up. Daily Mirror

Newcastle have offered about £7m for Paris St Germain striker Mevlut Erdinc. the Telegraph

Jose Enrique has returned to pre-season training with Newcastle but his agent has refused to rule out the defender leaving the club this summer. talksport

Midfielder Rafael van der Vaart fears Tottenham team-mates Luka Modric and Gareth Bale could leave the club in an attempt to win silverware. Daily Mirror

Pep Guardiola is already planning to take inspiration from Johann Cruyff to accommodate Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas. It is understood the Barca boss may switch to a 3-4-3 formation - the tactics Dutch master Cruyff used at Barca when Guardiola was his captain - so the 24-year-old can be used at the top of a four-man midfield diamond. Daily Express

Liverpool owner John W Henry has taken to social networking site Twitter to discuss the club's transfer and stadium plans. fanatix

He says he is bemused over the Premier League season being so short. Ahead of the Reds' pre-season tour of China, the American says: "Unbelievable. A month-and-a-half after the season ends, the first day of LFC 2011-2012 training begins. MLB [Major League Baseball] has four months off." (Daily Mail)

Little-known Argentine Dario Conca has joined the world's highest-paid players list. The 5ft 5in midfielder has signed a three-and-a-half-year contract, said to be worth £6.4m, with Chinese Super League side Guangzhou after leaving Brazilian giants Fluminense.Metro

[Niall Quinns Discopants]

Liverpool owner John W Henry has taken to social networking site Twitter to discuss the club's transfer and stadium plans. fanatix

He says he is bemused over the Premier League season being so short. Ahead of the Reds' pre-season tour of China, the American says: "Unbelievable. A month-and-a-half after the season ends, the first day of LFC 2011-2012 training begins. MLB [Major League Baseball] has four months off." (Daily Mail)

Doesn't really sound like he is bemused does it?

[avoidconfusion]

Holy crap who is that WAG?

[lets all have a disco]

Lovely WAG despite having a few slices of Trannys meat.



Ermmm hello Bobby lad.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Wenger will aim to show Arsenal fans that the Gunners still have ambition by making big-money offers for Lille playmaker Eden Hazard and Valencia forward Juan Mata. caughtoffside

[Chinners]

Holy crap who is that WAG?

The dirty Letizia Filippi

[guv111]

I'm fed up of players coming here, and before they have even kicked a ball they are having a pop at the Rags. Last season, it was just about the most notable thing Dzeko did. I don't want to see City defined by United.

[bobby brows]

Tuesday's Yellow Submarine Mill

Today's Sun has an exclusive. TEVEZ: I'VE GOT TO LEAVE. Really. That's the scoop, an 'exclusive' that's right up there with the Mill claiming to have written Yellow Submarine, or invented the internet, or been the first person ever to do the YMCA dance. Real Madrid, Internazionale, Juventus and Chelsea are "on red alert for the £25m hitman," the Sun reports. The only quote from Tevez accompanying the main story is: "Living without my children has been incredibly challenging." The Mill must therefore assume his children live in Madrid, Milan, Turin and west London.


Also in the Sun, after all that interminable faff Barcelona have finally "baulked" at paying £40m for Cesc Fábregas, like a family who have just spent 45 minutes trying to leave the house, packing the boot with picnic blankets, trying to find their flip-flops, bickering over who lost the sun cream and accusing each other of always - every time - taking absolutely ages before finally getting inside the car and just deciding they can't face it, the kids are crying and it's nearly lunchtime anyway.


Paul Scholes thinks Samir Nasri should join Manchester United. "Arsenal play the best football to watch at times. But what is the point if you are not winning anything?" he said, going in late and with just a bit of stud showing.


Kenny Dalglish is in a swoon over Newcastle's José Enrique after failing to sign Gaël Clichy. Enrique will cost £8m. "The Anfield chief is also chasing Aston Villa winger Stewart Downing and Blackpool skipper Charlie Adam," the Sun says. The Mill imagines this pursuit taking place in zany fast-forward to a manically parping soundtrack, Dalglish's plastic overcoat tails flapping as he pursues his giggling quarry in an amusingly zig-zagging pattern around an ornamental garden before pausing briefly to repeatedly slap the top of Jonjo Shelvey's pate.


Tony Pulis wants to sign Craig Bellamy, though Celtic are also sniffing around. Aston Villa have offered £4m for Shay Given. Villarreal may "end Denilson's misery at Arsenal", meaning they either want to buy him or have him humanely put down. And André Villas-Boas may bid for surprisingly effective Birmingham defender Scott Dann, but only after he has watched videos of 10 Birmingham City matches from last season. Good luck with that, André. Just maybe don't watch it all in one go, take regular breaks and now and then just fast forward to the bits where Nicola Zigic comes on for the last five minutes and everyone goes wild.


According to the Daily Mail, Roy Hodgson is "a long-term admirer" of Andy Johnson and may finally declare himself in the manner of a courtly, stammering Jane Austen hero by trying to sign him for West Brom. Leicester and QPR are also keen. Midfield fouler Nigel Reo-Coker will not be joining Johnson at the Hawthorns. Bayern Munich have agreed a £1.7m fee for teenage Tranmere sprite Dale Jennings. "Bayern have made us a very good offer for Dale and we don't want to stand in his way of making this incredible move," Tranmere manager Les Parry said, rolling around on top of a mattress covered in high denomination notes and singing along to the "la-la-la-la la-la-laaa-da-da" bit in "Loving You" by Minnie Riperton. West Ham are also interested, but Jennings is leaning towards the brilliantly successful, classily-run Bavarian superpower for some reason or other. Saint-Etienne have "slapped a £13.3m price tag" on midfielder Blaise Matuidi. Liverpool, Arsenal and Newcastle have all previously expressed an interest.


And finally, in today's Daily Mirror, Chelsea have been "linked" with Real Madrid defender and mid-1980s baggy snow-washed denim suit magnate Pepe. Villas-boas sees the Portuguese centre half as "the first brick in his Stamford Bridge revolution", which makes it sound like he's going to throw him through the window of a parliamentary building or a bourgeoisie coffee house.

[Tokyo Blue]

I'm fed up of players coming here, and before they have even kicked a ball they are having a pop at the Rags. Last season, it was just about the most notable thing Dzeko did. I don't want to see City defined by United.

I am glad I am not the only one who finds it a bit pointless. It was worth doing when we had nothing to shout about.

Just play football, lads.

[CityFanFromRome]

I'm fed up of players coming here, and before they have even kicked a ball they are having a pop at the Rags. Last season, it was just about the most notable thing Dzeko did. I don't want to see City defined by United.

I am glad I am not the only one who finds it a bit pointless. It was worth doing when we had nothing to shout about.

Just play football, lads.

Agree. Gives us a bit of a small mentality look, almost as if we had to constantly compare us to them and see who's bigger. Who fucking cares, let's ignore them and trash them on the pitch, that's the only thing about the Rags we should care about.

[bobby brows]

I'm fed up of players coming here, and before they have even kicked a ball they are having a pop at the Rags. Last season, it was just about the most notable thing Dzeko did. I don't want to see City defined by United.

I am glad I am not the only one who finds it a bit pointless. It was worth doing when we had nothing to shout about.

Just play football, lads.

Agree. Gives us a bit of a small mentality look, almost as if we had to constantly compare us to them and see who's bigger. Who fucking cares, let's ignore them and trash them on the pitch, that's the only thing about the Rags we should care about.

metro hated it, they used there entire back page for it! they used the word 'sarcastic', i've never seen that before in a paper

[JonnyAsh]

I'm fed up of players coming here, and before they have even kicked a ball they are having a pop at the Rags. Last season, it was just about the most notable thing Dzeko did. I don't want to see City defined by United.

I am glad I am not the only one who finds it a bit pointless. It was worth doing when we had nothing to shout about.

Just play football, lads.

Agree. Gives us a bit of a small mentality look, almost as if we had to constantly compare us to them and see who's bigger. Who fucking cares, let's ignore them and trash them on the pitch, that's the only thing about the Rags we should care about.

I'm wondering if someone from City media briefs the new players on this before their first interview. It all sounds a bit old hat. OK for one to do it, after that it becomes too choreographed, as though it's what the fans wants to hear, but as you say it's all a bit small mentality now.

[Niall Quinns Discopants]

Hamsik favours AC Milan move over Manchester City
Manchester City target Marek Hamsik says he wants to join AC Milan if he leaves Napoli this summer.
Roberto Mancini is interested in the Slovakian midfielder, who was one of the stars as Napoli qualified for the Champions League last season.
But the 23-year-old says his preference would be to move to the San Siro rather than Eastlands.
"Why AC Milan? Because they have won everything there is," he told Gazzetta Dello Sport. "They would help me develop.
"Also because they won the League last year and they are the most successful club in the world. And [Clarence] Seedorf is the greatest

Eh?

What is he, seven? Eight at a push perhaps. "Seedorf is the greatest and AC Milan are the bestest club I know, I think".

Something tells me that A) we are not after him B) that whole thing was completely made up.