Thursdays B*ll*x

[Chinners]

Sorry guys, pressed for time at the mo so heres a 'short' round up of Bollox

German sides Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund will battle for Manchester City striker Edin Dzeko, 26, this summer. Daily Mail

Manchester City are chasing Le Havre's French midfielder Jules Ntcham, 16, who has been compared to Marcel Desailly. Inter Milan, Juventus and Arsenal are also interested. Daily Telegraph

City are also planning a £20m swoop to bring Chelsea striker Daniel Sturridge back to the club. The 22-year-old left the Etihad-outfit three-years ago. Manchester Evening News

Manchester City are closing in on a £30million deal to sign Athletic Bilbao's Spain international striker Fernando Llorente.Daily Mail

OTHER BOLLOX
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has made £40m-rated Tottenham playmaker Luka Modric, 26, his top summer target. Daily Star

Manchester United are sending their top scout to watch Athletic Bilbao's £26m-rated midfielder Oscar de Marcos, 22, in Thursday's Europa League semi-final against Sporting Lisbon. Daily Mirror

Fiorentina midfielder and long-time Arsenal target Riccardo Montolivo, 27, has agreed a pre-contract deal to join AC Milan on a free transfer this summer. talkSHIT

Russian outfit Anzhi Makhachkala are ready to kickstart a summer fire sale at Blackburn Rovers, by attempting to pip Arsenal and Chelsea to the signing of midfielder Steven N'Zonzi, 23. Metro

On-loan Liverpool midfielder Joe Cole, 30, says he would rather stay with French club Lille than return to Anfield.Daily Mirror

Liverpool are lining up a move for Chelsea forward Salomon Kalou, 26, whose contract at Stamford Bridge expires at the end of the season. caughtoffside.com

Tottenham are also planning a summer swoop for Kalou, but Chelsea intend to offer the Ivory Coast international a new contract. Daily Mail

Italian side Roma are planning a £7m move for Fulham striker Clint Dempsey, 29. the Sun

QPR players will hold a team meeting to discuss whether to shake Chelsea captain John Terry's hand when the two sides meet a week on Sunday after allegations that he racially abused Anton Ferdinand. Daily Mail

Reading chairman Sir John Madejski has insisted that there will be no spending spree this summer following the Royals' promotion to the Premier League. Metro

The new Russian owners of Reading are setting their sights on European qualification next season. the Sun

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger says his native France should pick Newcastle winger Hatem Ben Arfa against England at Euro 2012.Daily Mirror

Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo was presented with three pairs of Bavarian shoes after reportedly having his boots stolen before Real's Champions League defeat by Bayern Munich. the Sun

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew has made discrete enquiries about Icelandic midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson, 22, who has scored seven goals for Swansea since joining on loan from Hoffenheim in January.Daily Mirror

The Magpies have also handed a 10-day trial to 19-year-old Melbourne Heart centre-back Curtis Good. Daily Express

Manchester United are considering a move for FC Copenhagen left-back Bryan Oviedo. The 22-year-old Costa Rica international would provide cover for Patrice Evra.Daily Mail

West Brom want £3m for striker Simon Cox, 24, who is wanted by both Ipswich and Cardiff.Daily Mirror

Lazio playmaker Hernanes, 26, is set to snub interest from big-spending Russian outfit Anzhi Makhachkala and join Arsenal in the summer. talkShit

Newcastle midfielder Yohan Cabaye has told Lille's Belgian forward Eden Hazard, 21, to choose Arsenal over Tottenham.Daily Mirror

Aston Villa target Bas Dost has been in talks with German side Wolfsburg. The 22-year-old Heerenveen striker is currently the top scorer in the Netherlands. talkShit

Cesc Fabregas has increased the pressure ahead of Barcelona's meeting with Chelsea by accusing Roberto di Matteo's side of playing "long ball football". Daily Mail

Aston Villa manager Alex McLeish faces a fight to hold onto his job as owner Randy Lerner plans a summer shake-up. The American wants to appoint a director of football, and is considering naming a new manager to work underneath him. Daily Star

Mikel Arteta has made 38 appearances so far in his first season at Arsenal

Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere, 20, will accept the advice of Arsene Wenger and turn down the chance to play in the Olympics in order to be fit for the start of the new season. Daily Telegraph

Wigan goalkeeper Ali Al Habsi has hit back at claims from Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger that he wasted time during the Latics' 2-1 win at the Emirates Stadium on Monday. The Sun

Arsenal will find out today if Mikel Arteta, 30, will play again this season. The midfielder will have a scan this morning on the ankle injury he picked up in Monday night's 1-0 defeat by Wigan Athletic.Metro

Blackburn defender Gael Givet, 30, has angrily denied Steve Kean's claims that he refused to play in the 3-0 defeat at Swansea. The Sun

Hayes midfielder Harry Agombar has been handed a trial by Partizan Belgrade. The 19-year-old, who plays in Ryman League Division One North, will spend a week in Serbia with Partizan, managed by ex-West Ham boss Avram Grant.The Sun

[lets all have a disco]

So were spending 50 million smackaroonies on Lorente and Sturridge.

I can smell it.

[littlebig]

Thought some may enjoy a gander, from a journo from Ireland.



Mourinho-ish soundings: Brazil will not be following in Barcelona's footsteps


“What is this bullshit saying that we have to follow Barcelona? Are Real Madrid then just a bunch of morons? If the Barcelona system is so flawless why did they not win anything 10 years ago? Xavi, Messi and Iniesta do not appear every year.”

– Brazilian Football Confederation director Andres Sanchez, sounding a bit Mourinho-ish. Although, the fella probably has a point.


“Two or three years ago Liverpool beat us 4-1 at Old Trafford and that genius Benitez said they had planned to beat us by playing long balls in behind. Remember that? Clown.”

– You can tell, Alex Ferguson still pines for Rafa.


“I sent them because I am a big City fan and I love Roberto and I wanted to send him something to cheer him up because he has a really tough job.”

– Eight-year-old Manchester City devotee Megan Kinghorn explaining why she sent Mancini a four-pack of Fruit Pastilles. Ah, bless.


“I didn’t think he would get the job initially. Neither did he, to be honest with you.”

– Stephen Hunt, still almost as stunned as Terry Connor on the latter’s elevation to Wolves’ sizzling hot seat.


“Bus driver performing as well as me today.”

– After Motherwell’s team coach (left) was driven in to a bridge, their striker Henrik Ojamaa conceded on Twitter that he’d been a bit off target himself that day.


Radu says . . . Reja says no

WAS Stefan Radu saying “hi” or “heil” to Lazio supporters after the team’s 3-1 win over Napoli?

“The guy doesn’t even know what fascism is – if you talk to him, you’ll realise that,” insisted Lazio coach Edy Reja.

The Italian Football Federation are investigating, though. It wouldn’t be the first time a Lazio player was spotted greeting the club’s supporters in such a fashion – Paolo di Canio, for example, was banned for one match in 2005 for also saying “hi”.


Dude: looks like a lady

WHICH manager told Playboy: “I would love to be a woman for 24 hours so that I can really understand them . . . the visual attributes of a woman’s eyes, face, breasts, legs, buttocks and her charisma.”

(a) Sam Allardyce

(b) Giovanni Trapattoni

or (c) Christoph Daum

Well done, yes, it was the German manager of Club Brugge. We were afraid to read on after that extract, to be honest, at Yahoo’s football blog Dirty Tackle. We’ll leave the mind to boggle.


PELE v MARADONA: Part 876

Pele: “Now everyone is talking about Messi, he is a star. But (to be the best) he must first become better than Neymar. At the moment Messi is just more experienced.”

Maradona: “My God, that is just stupid. Maybe Neymar is the best player in the world, but only if you say that Messi is from a different planet.”



Little Andrey: Comes alive

ANDREY Arshavin has been keeping himself busy on and off the pitch since he joined Zenit St Petersburg on loan from Arsenal, his latest venture a new ad for Pepsi.

Alas, judging by the photo of him at a studio in Moscow, that appears on his website, he doesn’t look like he’s cheered up much.

Alexander Klimov, marketing manager for PepsiCo Russia, appeared to acknowledge that Andrey found it all a bit of an ordeal.

“We would like to say many thanks to Andrey for his endurance and self-control demonstrated during quite a long session,” explained Klimov.

Fortunately for Pepsi, the little fella came to life once the camera started clicking.



Burying the head in exotic Bahrain: Don't bore Peter with human rights issues

PETER Taylor’s managerial CV is a touch on the extensive side, featuring spells with . . . deep breath . . . Dartford, Southend United, Dover Athletic, England under-21, Gillingham, Leicester City, England (caretaker), Brighton, Hull City, England under-21 again, Crystal Palace, Stevenage Borough, Wycombe Wanderers and Bradford City.

His most exotic appointment, though, even more than Wycombe, came in July of last year when he took over as coach of Bahrain, the timing of his arrival seemingly not ideal, it coming five months after the start of the pro-democracy uprising.

But that didn’t worry him too much, Taylor telling the Guardian: “The federation told me that the country was calm and it has been. Since I have been here, there have been more problems in England than there have in Bahrain.”

By then, though, two members of the national team, brothers A’ala and Mohamed Hubail, had been arrested by the Bahraini authorities after they joined other sports people in the protests, both subsequently banned by their clubs.

Last week, of course, there was more controversy about Bahrain hosting a Formula One Grand Prix, and for his response to questions about that particular issue, Taylor was made “Man of the Week” by yesterday’s Observer.

“I apologise to anybody if I’m missing the point, but for me sport should rise above it. That’s the beauty of sport: it brings people together,” he said.

What about “the nation’s record for arresting and torturing up to 150 sports people last year, including three of his players”?

“Don’t go there. You’re getting boring.”


Sing a sad song

HOW upset were the players of Crawley when manager Steve Evans moved on to Rotherham United last week?

(a) Were they so tearful they refused to play in their next game?

(b) Did they agree to play, but with T-shirts sporting Evans’s face under their jerseys?

or (c) Did a video of them appear on YouTube showing them celebrating by crooning “We’re singing a song, ’cos the fat man’s gone” and “Let’s twist again”?

Yup, (c).


Aldo misses striker: As much as Jovanovic misses Anfield

IT would be accurate enough to say that Serbian striker Milan Jovanovic’s brief stay at Liverpool was a less than productive one, the player moving on to Anderlecht last year after appearing just 10 times for the club. He never settled in the city, seemingly surprised by the native language: “If I didn’t have my wife and my kids I just couldn’t speak Serbian with anybody.”

So, he’s with Anderlecht now and seems to be happier, apart from that hiccup in November when he was threatened with a five-year ban after celebrating a goal by firing an imaginary machine gun at Bruges fans. Other than that, though, all’s well.

John Aldridge, for one, doesn’t miss the fella. “I couldn’t believe it when I read that Jovanovic has been slaughtering Liverpool,” he wrote in his Liverpool Echo column. “Apparently he has told his Anderlecht team-mate Matias Suarez not to ever consider moving to Anfield. Jovanovic said he spent most of his time crying when he was at Liverpool and felt unhappy every day in the city. Well, I shed a tear every time I saw Jovanovic walk out on that pitch.”

Ooooh.

[paulmclaren]

That Jovanovic was on over 100k a week, that Rafa Benitez should be in prison seriously, some of the mad signings he done were terrifying and would of sent other clubs under.
And Jovanovic has the cheek to slag Liverpool?
I now it's Liverpool but why doesn't the bum fuck off home to his 'SLUM IN SERBIA'?
Because i guarentee you this that the situation is Serbia ids over 10x worse then that in the uk.
Deluded fuck.

[Bianchi on Ice]

That Jovanovic was on over 100k a week, that Rafa Benitez should be in prison seriously, some of the mad signings he done were terrifying and would of sent other clubs under.
And Jovanovic has the cheek to slag Liverpool?
I now it's Liverpool but why doesn't the bum fuck off home to his 'SLUM IN SERBIA'?
Because i guarentee you this that the situation is Serbia ids over 10x worse then that in the uk.
Deluded fuck.

I dont think Jovanovic was a benitez signing Paul, Hodgsons choice