Monday's B*l**x

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Monday's B*l**x

Postby Chinners » Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:29 am

Hello and goodbye? Mancini ducks welcome ceremony at City training camp as speculation continues over his future

The squad arrived in Seefeld, Austria on Sunday night but the Italian manager disappointed local officials by snubbing a presentation in front of the crowds
[youtube]39qi7NrpzGg[/youtube]
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini ducked out of a ceremony to welcome his title-winning team to their pre-season training camp in Austria on Sunday night as speculation grows over his future.
However, Blues fans will be relieved that the Italian HAS travelled with the squad to the high-altitude base for the next two weeks after he was linked with quitting for the Russian national team job.
The title-winning players arrived in Seefeld tonight to cheers from locals and the boom of an oompah band, but Mancini avoided the crowds.
Sources suggested he may have used a private entrance round the back of the five-star hotel or even delayed his arrival altogether to escape attention.
The move disappointed local officials, who had planned to hand over a specially-made lederhosen to the Blues boss on the red carpet.
City players who have been on Euro 2012 duty have been given a break and will not be coming to the camp, during which the club will play three training matches.
A crowd of around 500 - one-sixth of the village's population - had turned out to welcome the latest Premier League club to stay in the spa resort in the Alps.
Players from AS Monaco are staying in the four-star hotel next door to City.

Bollox - shorts
ROBERTO MANCINI is very close to signing a new deal with Manchester City — despite the Russian FA lining up a mega-money deal to poach him.

MANCHESTER CITY hope David Silva will sign a new deal later this month

Barca ‘n PSG join RVP chase

Toure tells RVP to join City

Reports in Moscow suggest the Italian is to be offered around £6.5milliona year to succeed Dick Advocaat as Russia coach.

Former England boss Fabio Capello is also in the frame but Mancini tops the wanted list.

City and Mancini are putting the finishing touches to a four-year contract, with the manager’s lawyers going through the small-print before it is signed.

Mancini is set to fly out to Austria today with his squad as they step up pre-season preparations.

DAISY CUTTING BOLLOX
Who Manchester City Should Sign This Summer
I’m still finding it hard to describe the last 16 months as a fan of Manchester City – I’m not even one of the new glory-hunting types that suddenly discovered adoration for a team I’d never heard of as they started warming up their biceps to lift some silverware. And I suppose that’s what City have been doing ever since Sheikh Mansour took over – warming up their biceps. What has happened since we beat United at Wembley on April 16th, 2011, at 6pm, temperature 17°C – not that I’m obsessed or anything – has been both expected and unexpected at the same time. I saw Sergio Aguero walk five yards in front of me in a City shirt, I saw us lift the FA Cup and I saw us win the trophy I worried would always escape us. The most cathartic strike of a ball ever witnessed in the beautiful game sent an entire team in to orbit. To quote Martin Tyler, “This could be the start of a dynasty.” But this dynasty cannot start if there are still players from the old team hanging around like a bad smell. There are some incredibly aroused dogs attached to our leg and we can’t seem to shake them off. Wayne Bridge has only just been loaned out to Brighton, Emmanuel Adebayor seems to want to move to Tottenham but their managerial fuss has delayed any movement there, and Roque Santa Cruz still won’t seem to disappear off the face of our books – their wage bills being the biggest factor in their leech-like behaviour.

Once we’ve shaken the horny dog from our unfortunate leg, there’s the job of cleaning up the mess. The advantage of removing players such as Adebayor, Bridge and Santa Cruz is that there’s not going to be a mad rush to sign more players to occupy a column on the Excel document containing the players’ wages. Imagine Mancini walking around the club with a huge bin-bag looking for things to send to the charity shop and you’ll have an idea. When it comes to Carlos Tevez, however, Mancini pauses. He picks up an old, dusty trophy that he won when he was a small child. Unsure whether to place it in the bag along with the horny dogs, he places Tevez carefully in the maybe pile. A few charity shops have demanded he be paraded on their shelves, but Mancini can’t quite bring himself to do it – maybe the trophy is due a polishing. I do personally think Tevez still has a part to play in the Manchester City “dynasty”, but whether he feels that he’d like to is another story. Carlos Tevez is more of an enigma than Mario Balotelli, the media just haven’t recognised it yet.

I think our first eleven requires improvement, but it only requires slight improvement. From Hart to Aguero, the team oozes class now. Gone are the days of Paul Bosvelt and Antoine Sibierski, who have now become Yaya Toure and David Silva. But it is rotating these sorts of players that have has proven to be Mancini’s biggest problem, and biggest task to overcome. Stefan Savic was supposed to be the ideal replacement for when Vincent Kompany was suspended or injured, but it turns out he’s an accident waiting to happen. He’s the ice sculpture balanced on the thin pole. Reading through some City forums, it looks like he’s going to be loaned out to either Wolves or Besiktas which leaves us relatively short in terms of options at the back. Boyata has returned from Bolton, but after being part of a relegated defence that looked lost without Gary Cahill I’m not sure if he’ll be up to the standard we require to defend our title.
We also seem to suffer from Yaya Toure’s absence more than anything else. During the time Yaya Toure spent at the African Cup of Nations, we lost our grip on the title before he came back to full fitness and to our rescue along with Tevez. We’ve tried de Jong, Milner and even Zabaleta in Yaya Toure’s position but none of them seem to do Toure’s job with the same amount of finesse, grace or style. Toure has become a powerhouse in his time at City thanks to Mancini’s leadership, and is a strong contender for vice-captain. He’s scored four of the most important goals in our history against United, Stoke and Newcastle and has become arguably the best midfielder in the Premier League. He almost seems impossible to replace, along with Vincent Kompany at centre-back.

Javi Martinez
Rumours about us signing one of Europe’s most exciting young players in Javi Martinez have been doing the rounds ever since he signed a new contract at Bilbao about 18-months ago. His ability to hold on to possession and pass quickly has allowed him to mature in to a marauding centre-back, just as Vincent Kompany has done whilst at City. And after starting his career in central-midfield, the move to centre-back has given a new dimension to his game that could kill two birds with one huge Javi Martinez shaped stone. If Kompany were to miss a game, Javi Martinez could easily be moved in to the team in to a position he’s now capable of playing in, as well as replacing Yaya Toure if he were to miss a game or two. Martinez could also be used as a long-term replacement for Gareth Barry.
For any City fans interested or excited about this potential transfer, we can learn a bit more from my good friend Luke, a Valencia fan, who regularly watches Spanish football: “He is a very good defensive midfielder. Bilbao manager Bielsa converted him into a centre-back, but kept using him in defensive midfield as well at times. He was very close to Bielsa and bonded well with him, which means he could be on his way out if Bielsa’s fall-out with the club has serious problems for his future. He isn’t a very quick player, and not the most agile, but still is quite skillful and knows how to dictate a midfield well. He has a good passing ability and great vision. He is deadly from corners and good at creating chances for himself and others. He’s scored quite a few goals by running at defences like Yaya Toure. A proper engine of a player. Reads players well, tackles well, intercepts well, always in the right places. The only real weakness is that if you chuck a quick little shit like Aguero, Piatti or Messi up against him, he may struggle to deal with them because of his size.”
A fair and promising assessment for the City fans looking forward to seeing him in a blue shirt.
Estimated fee: £25m+

Robin van Persie
And now the transfer saga that I predict will last all summer. After refusing to sign a new contract at Arsenal, it appears that Robin has decided it’s time to move on after a seven-year stay at Arsenal. I imagine he’s grown impatient of Arsenal’s emphasis on financial stability, rather than trophies. In fifteen years’ time when Arsenal are fresh off the back of a treble of trebles we’ll look back and say they were right to sustain themselves financially first, but van Persie doesn’t have fifteen years left in his career and wants to win things now. It’s clear to see that van Persie is capable of being City’s main when it comes to striking forces in their team due to Balotelli’s unpredictability, Tevez’s foot always being halfway out the exit door and Dzeko’s inconsistency, but I do think title-winning hero Sergio Aguero will remain the poster boy of the City attack. Whether van Persie is willing to play second fiddle to Aguero after having such a fantastic season last time round is another question, but Mancini has tamed some of the larger egos in the team so I see no reason why he can’t do it with van Persie
I asked my friend Lewis, who seems to have a lot of experience when it comes to watching players and leagues from all around Europe, what he thought van Persie’s strengths and weaknesses were, or who we could go for instead if the van Perise deal never happens: “RVP works well in a system where the main point of play is a second striker. He links the attack and midfield and creates chances, as well as scoring frequently. But I don’t think City don’t need that as they have too many attacking midfielders that could potentially occupy his position. If I were to replace Tevez, I’d go for Huntelaar as Gomez isn’t available. He finished as the top scorer in the Bundesliga, he’s an aerial threat (something City don’t possess in abundance up-front) and he’s absolutely lethal inside the area. Aguero provides a more subtle, skillful approach to playing up-front but Huntelaar provides raw pace and strength as well as clinical finishing. Aguero and Huntelaar together would be perfect.”
So, should City go for van Persie or Jan Klaas Huntelaar? van Persie would be less of a risk, admittedly, because of his experience in the Premier League already but with Huntelaar seemingly finding form again at Schalke, would he be worth a try?
Estimated fee: £20m+

I asked Lewis about what he thought we’d require as a team to be able to take the next step and trouble Europe’s elite: “Every great team has the “deep lying playmaker” role that is was so well played by Pirlo in Euro 2012 – orchestrating a great Italian team majestically from that defensive midfield position. Barry plays a similar role for City but isn’t of the level that City want if they’re aiming for which is CL semi-finals. Every great team needs one: Frank Lampard was Chelsea’s last year in the CL, playing a deeper role, Liverpool had Xabi Alonso (and now Real Madrid do) and Barca have Xavi. Javi Martinez is a great player but currently flirting with Barca and is more of a box to box type player, a la Yaya Toure. I don’t think them two would work well together in centre-midfield. I think City need a world class “deep lying playmaker” to replace Barry to reach the heights they are aspiring to: somebody like a Nuri Sahin (who doesn’t get played at Real Madrid and is a very good player, despite his very young age) or Marco Verratti, who has been dubbed the next Andrea Pirlo and could turn out to be one of the best players of the future crop of young stars.”

To a certain extent, I would agree. Barry isn’t getting any younger or quicker so unless we can find the creative spark Milner seems to have lost during his time at City, we may need to invest in a player that played a similar role to David Pizarro. I do think we need to focus more on a wide-option in terms of finding an immediate fix. Adam Johnson has actually developed backwards – if that’s possible – and disappeared up his own arse (thanks, Capello) and needs to be replaced. We could consider a very cheap option and welcome back Vladimir Weiss from his loan spell at Espanyol, or look for Junior Hoilett who is now out of contract at relegated Blackburn after we lost out on Lavezzi, Hazard, Elia and Shaqiri. But I don’t see any reason why we can’t go for one of Swansea’s impressive two – Scott Sinclair and Nathan Dyer. Due to the confusion unfortunately surrounding Swansea at the moment after losing Gylfi Sigurdsson and Brendan Rogers, there could be a clear-out ahead of Laudrup’s time there. City could take full advantage of this situation and acquire on of the two for between £5m-£15m.

Whatever happens, we can all guarantee another summer at City will pass with rumour, speculation, money, promise and potential. Will we defend the title, who knows? If we acquire some of the names above then I fully expect us to do so, but Chelsea’s new-found youth in Marin and Hazard, along with United’s desire to prevent themselves from going two consecutive seasons without a trophy should be a cause for concern. I’m sure I’ll still be blue in the face and without nails by the end of it all – again.

[spoiler]My word!!!

[youtube]KIvPe6h0my0[/youtube][/spoiler]

OTHER BOLLOX
Bayer Leverkusen have turned down an offer from Chelsea for 21-year-old striker Andre Schurrle. The Guardian

Alan Pardew insists he is doing everything he can to keep striker Demba Ba, 27, at Newcastle. talkShit

Spurs are considering making a £5m bid for 22-year-old Chelsea striker Daniel Sturridge. Footy Latest

Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey, 21, admits he and his team-mates have no idea how the situation with striker Robin van Persie will pan out. Van Persie, who has a year to go on his current deal, has told the Gunners he will not sign a new contract. Daily Mail

Swansea City boss Michael Laudrup is trying to sign Bristol City's 24-year-old Ghanaian winger Albert Adomah, but it could cost around £3m to do so. The Mirror

Liverpool are understood to have had a bid rejected for 25-year-old Real Madrid midfielder Esteban Granero. Daily Mail

AC Milan are said to be considering a loan move rather than a permanent transfer for Liverpool striker Andy Carroll, 23. The Sun

Fiorentina have made a fresh bid for 28-year-old striker Marouane Chamakh, who looks set to leave Arsenal after two unsuccessful seasons. Daily Mail

Wigan boss Roberto Martinez wants Chicago Fire's Guatemalan winger Marco Pappa, 24, to replace Chelsea target Victor Moses. The Mirror

But Arsenal are said to be poised to make a move for Moses, 21, after uncertainty over the winger's future.

Victor Moses is wanted by both Chelsea and Arsenal. The Metro

Norwich are offering striker James Vaughan, 23, to Birmingham to help land central defender Curtis Davies, 27. The Mirror

Southampton want to sign Crystal Palace's highly-rated, 19-year-old winger Wilfried Zaha. The Sun

The Tottenham squad are fully behind new manager Andre-Villas Boas, according to midfielder Danny Rose, 22. talkSHIT

TERRY CAM BOLLOX
MCF.net THREAD: viewtopic.php?f=119&t=43443

GOLDEN MANAGER BOLLOX - Sept 2009
England boss Fabio Capello, who reportedly earns £6m a year, picked up a £1m bonus for guiding England to the World Cup in South Africa. The Sun

And Capello will earn a £2m bonus if England win the World Cup next summer. The Times <AHEM>

Scotland boss George Burley will hold talks with the president of the Scottish FA, George Peat, next week to discuss his future after Scotland failed to qualify for the World Cup. The Times

Meanwhile, Burnley boss Owen Coyle says he has no interest in replacing Burley as Scotland boss. Daily Express

However, three names in the frame for the Scotland job, should Burley get the sack, are Rangers boss Walter Smith, former Celtic manager Gordon Strachan and Dundee United boss Craig Levein. Daily Record

Bryan Robson is being lined up as the next Thailand national team boss to replace Peter Reid, who is Stoke's new assistant manager.
Daily Mail
Last edited by Chinners on Mon Jul 09, 2012 10:56 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Monday's B*l**x

Postby Crossie » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:29 am

Thank yooooou!
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Re: Monday's B*l**x

Postby ashton287 » Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:40 am

What kind of fucking clueless bellend does it take to actually think javi Martinez can step into the shoes of yaya or kompany, he isn't as good as either, never fucking mind both.

Glory hunting knob. Fuck off back to your cupboard full of barca, real, inter, arsenal(henry on the back obviously) and scum shirts.
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Re: Monday's B*l**x

Postby Avalon » Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:42 am

A naked video on youtube? Doubtful.
Still, this forum needs more Kate Upton. It's like one of those five a day things.
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Re: Monday's B*l**x

Postby Wooders » Mon Jul 09, 2012 10:34 am

so we could lose out on our manager because of FFP blocks us from being able to offer him the same salary as Russia, despite the fact we can easily afford it - that's FFP for you - fucking mental rule, well done Sepp
Citys new Motto "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women"
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Re: Monday's B*l**x

Postby craigmcfc » Mon Jul 09, 2012 4:53 pm

One is not amused Mr Chinners
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Re: Monday's B*l**x

Postby john68 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 5:48 am

craigmcfc wrote:One is not amused Mr Chinners


Dear Confused of Yarksher,
Just proves that didn't know her arse from her elbow Craig.

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I KNOW THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU THINK I WROTE, BUT I AM NOT SURE YOU REALISE THAT WHAT YOU READ IS NOT WHAT I MEANT
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