"top" players who are just shite

[Fidel Castro]

Phil Jones
Terry
Downing
Parker
Walker
Smalling
vd Vaart
Busquets
Luiz

[Fesan]

Are we talking about the Trezeguet who has had over 0.5 goals per game his entire career for both club and country? That is pretty decent if you ask me, and only marginally worse than Ronaldo (fat one) who is touted as best striker ever.

Yes. The one I just referred to as 'a good player'. I just never enjoyed watching him play I suppose. Darren Bent and Andy Cole have similarly wonderful goals-to-games ratios.

I see, taste is like the butt, divided:-)

[Ted Hughes]

Phil Jones
Terry
Downing
Parker
Walker
Smalling
vd Vaart
Busquets
Luiz

Busquets is a good shout. The feigned indignation from Barca about City potentially paying 10 times his value, is quite amusing.

I know Bob likes a dm, but I doubt we'll be signing a player whos main attribute is to collapse on his arse & win free kicks in centre mid. Imagine how successful that tactic would be, away at Goodison with Phil Dowd or Clattenburg reffing.

[walmai]

Downing
Suarez
Johnny Evans
John terry
De gea
Walcott

I thought, as I read through, that I'd nominate Suarez and assume that most others didn't go for him because they didn't see him as a 'top' player. His goal to chance ratio is probably worse than Iain Dowie's. He's also a contemptible sportsman.

Walcott is the dictionary definition of 'flatters to deceive' (although the fecker scored a beaut against us recently). He's just too one dimensional.

My vote goes to Torres. It can't be easy playing when you don't even care about the result, as he recently suggested about last season, but he has gone from almost robotic proficiency to some of the most ridiuculous mis-kicking I can recall seeing.

[Pretty Boy Lee]

I thought, as I read through, that I'd nominate Suarez and assume that most others didn't go for him because they didn't see him as a 'top' player. His goal to chance ratio is probably worse than Iain Dowie's. He's also a contemptible sportsman.

Walcott is the dictionary definition of 'flatters to deceive' (although the fecker scored a beaut against us recently). He's just too one dimensional.

My vote goes to Torres. It can't be easy playing when you don't even care about the result, as he recently suggested about last season, but he has gone from almost robotic proficiency to some of the most ridiuculous mis-kicking I can recall seeing.

He gets spoken about as a top player so I included him. He really does butcher done chances.

As for Torres another good shout. The definition of a purple patch earning you a reputation.

[Alioune DVToure]

I rate Suarez very highly. I think he'll get his eye in soon and start scoring for fun.

He is horrid though.

[Ted Hughes]

I rate Suarez very highly. I think he'll get his eye in soon and start scoring for fun.

He is horrid though.

He doesn't score for fun, he dives for fun. The scoring is just something he does to earn money.

[Alioune DVToure]

He doesn't score for fun, he dives for fun. The scoring is just something he does to earn money.

He's no fun to watch when he's being such a cunt, that's for sure.

I've just read that he's scored 20 in 52 for Liverpool in the league. That's not too bad and I'm sure he'll have had a hand in 20 more.

I think he'd be well respected as a player if it wasn't for the diving, biting, racism, ref-bating and other general cuntery. When he gets the ball at his feet and drives at centre-halves, squaring them up, he is an exciting player to watch. Plus he does work his bollocks off.

[Ted Hughes]

He doesn't score for fun, he dives for fun. The scoring is just something he does to earn money.

He's no fun to watch when he's being such a cunt, that's for sure.

I've just read that he's scored 20 in 52 for Liverpool in the league. That's not too bad and I'm sure he'll have had a hand in 20 more.

I think he'd be well respected as a player if it wasn't for the diving, biting, racism, ref-bating and other general cuntery. When he gets the ball at his feet and drives at centre-halves, squaring them up, he is an exciting player to watch. Plus he does work his bollocks off.

Totally agree. The Premier League would love him if he wasn't such a complete shitbag.

[Green & Blue]

He doesn't score for fun, he dives for fun. The scoring is just something he does to earn money.

He's no fun to watch when he's being such a cunt, that's for sure.

I've just read that he's scored 20 in 52 for Liverpool in the league. That's not too bad and I'm sure he'll have had a hand in 20 more.

I think he'd be well respected as a player if it wasn't for the diving, biting, racism, ref-bating and other general cuntery. When he gets the ball at his feet and drives at centre-halves, squaring them up, he is an exciting player to watch. Plus he does work his bollocks off.

Horrid little creep i can't stand watching him play.Surprised he has actually scored that many goals as he seems guilty of spurning so many clear cut chances.He is one player i would be delighted to see leave english football.

[Moonchesteri]

A few of my favourite useless twunts

Valdes(some collection of medals for a joke goalkeeper)

brilliant shout! I don't think I have ever seen anything from him which would suggest that he is top class. or anything above average. he just gets away with so much due to the fact he plays for Barcelona. How has he been in the Spanish national team ahead of keepers like Andres Palop, I will never know.

[usedtothespin]

As it comes to shit Dirk Kuyt is top shit. But it shows that talent in not enough and som mediocre players can be useful if they put on some effort.

[branny]

Downing a top player? Hilarious.

[I Just Blue Myself]

Per Mertesaker(bavarian donkey)

He's from northern Germany & actually a pretty decent player. Slow & stiff as fuck, but you'd expect that with his build. Ask Arsenal supporters who their best CB pairing is & 9/10 will say Mertesacker & Koscielny.

Even tho I don't think he's shite, I'd rater mention Vermaelen in this topic. Absurdly overrated (is it his goals/bursts forward?) by loads, I think he's distinctly average.

[Green & Blue]

Per Mertesaker(bavarian donkey)

He's from northern Germany & actually a pretty decent player. Slow & stiff as fuck, but you'd expect that with his build. Ask Arsenal supporters who their best CB pairing is & 9/10 will say Mertesacker & Koscielny.

Even tho I don't think he's shite, I'd rater mention Vermaelen in this topic. Absurdly overrated (is it his goals/bursts forward?) by loads, I think he's distinctly average.

Its all a matter of opinion mate and i think he is distinctly bootless.A big lug whos good in the air but trots around at an extremely slow pace.He looked as if he was going in slow motion as Grant Holt beat him for that goal last weekend.

[london blue 2]

SWP :(

[sheblue]

Nani who some clowns consider a top player is completely shite.

[Bluez]

Gareth Barry.

Funny guy.

How about Ashley fucking Cole?

John Terry, Choc ice's bum mate
Ashley Young
Wayne Rooney
Luka Modric
Steven Gerrard

Funnier guy.

Disagree on all except for Young, but then I don't think he's being touted as a top player per se.

Rooney is supposed to be world class, but doesn't have a single World Cup goal. That's less than Matthew Upson.

[Ted Hughes]

Per Mertesaker(bavarian donkey)

He's from northern Germany & actually a pretty decent player. Slow & stiff as fuck, but you'd expect that with his build. Ask Arsenal supporters who their best CB pairing is & 9/10 will say Mertesacker & Koscielny.

Even tho I don't think he's shite, I'd rater mention Vermaelen in this topic. Absurdly overrated (is it his goals/bursts forward?) by loads, I think he's distinctly average.

Yeah but the question itself is a bit like saying "who is your favourite genocidal dictator?". Somebody has to get the vote, however terrible their deeds.

[I Just Blue Myself]

Sure, was just pointing out that Vermaelen fits better in here compared to the other two, due to the fact that most neutrals consider him a genuine top CB, never mind the best out of the three jokers. If I'm not mistaken, some on this site suggested him as a Lescott replacement.