Friday's B****x

[Chinners]

THE BOLLOX



Eliaquim Mangala: Manchester City website shows 'signing' video
BBC Sport Manchester City have released a video that appears to show Porto defender Eliaquim Mangala signing for the club.
The France international, 23, has been linked with a £32m move to City and was spotted in Manchester this month but no official announcement has been made.
However, a clip on the club's website - which has since been taken down - shows the player having a medical.
City say their system was hacked, that the video should not have gone out and that the deal has not been completed.
A spokesman said: "Our video storage system for City TV has been hacked and the video was leaked. The deal is not done or officially confirmed on our website."
The footage, shot for City TV, shows a private jet touching down at Manchester Airport accompanied by the caption "9am: French international defender Eliaquim Mangala arrives in Manchester."
The player then disembarks and is met by club officials. "City's newest signing en route to his medical," proclaims the next caption.
Mangala joined Porto in 2011 from Belgian club Standard Liege and has made 92 appearances in total
Mangala, dressed in a black leather jacket, black jeans and a white shirt, is then taken in a chauffeur-driven Mercedes to the club's Carrington training ground where he is shown the gym.
He is asked to give a message to City fans.
"I am here to help the team win titles, the league, the cup and the Champions League," he says. "I am ambitious and this is why I am here."
He is then asked what his ambition is with City.
"To play as many games as possible and to help the team the best I can to be champions of England."
Mangala, who was in the France squad for the recent 2014 Fifa World Cup but remained an unused substitute throughout the tournament, came close to joining City in January.

Juventus midfielder Arturo Vidal has dealt a blow to Manchester United by ruling out a switch to Old Trafford. DSSC

And Liverpool are now poised to move for the 27-year-old Chile international with a £42.5m bid. Metro

Celtic defender Virgil van Dijk, 23, is keen on a move to Southampton - but the Scottish club want at least £10m for the Dutchman. Daily Mirror

Atletico Madrid have made a fresh approach to sign unsettled Manchester United striker Javier Hernandez, 26. Times (subscription required)

Chelsea's German midfield misfit Marko Marin, 25, is in talks over a loan move to Turkish side Besiktas. Sun

Everton are on the brink of clinching a deal for 21-year-old Bosnian midfielder Muhamed Besic. Guardian

Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert says that 29-year-old captain Ron Vlaar - who has been linked with Tottenham - is not up for sale. Sun

Spurs defender Vlad Chiriches, 24, could be heading for the exit after just one season, with Roma weighing up a move for the centre-back. Daily Mirror

Jose Mourinho is close to completing a reunion with former Chelsea striker Didier Drogba, 36, as goalkeeper Petr Cech, 32, warns the Chelsea manager not to leave him on the bench next season. Sun

Arsenal are in pursuit of Real Madrid's veteran goalkeeper Iker Casillas. The Gunners have offered the 33-year-old Spain international a five-year deal worth £1.4m a year. Daily Express

Andy Carroll's ankle injury means Newcastle United will not attempt to bring the 25-year-old back to St James' Park. Newcastle Chronicle

Manchester United are planning a move for Dutch youngster Memphis Depay, 20. Metro

Leicester City have joined QPR and Crystal Palace in the race for Tottenham midfielder Lewis Holtby, 23, on loan. Daily Star

Arsenal's World-Cup winning trio of Per Mertesacker, 29, Mesut Ozil, 25, and 29-year-old Lukas Podolski will miss the start of the Premier League season after being granted an extended break. Daily Mirror

Ryan Giggs has described Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal as "the new Sir Alex Ferguson". Telegraph

Hull's new signing Tom Ince, 22, says he expects no favours from manager Steve Bruce just because he has known him all his life. Daily Mirror

New York City FC's latest signing Frank Lampard, 36, says he turned down offers from clubs in England to move to the United States. Manchester Evening News

Lampard has apologised to fans in New York for his drunken behaviour on the night of the 9/11 attacks. Daily Mail

Former Liverpool defender and New England Revolution coach Steve Nicol has criticised AS Roma full-back Ashley Cole, 33, for claiming the USA's MLS is "an easy ride". DSSC

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard, 34, is set to sign a 12-month contract extension. Liverpool Echo

Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho will keep both his goalkeepers Petr Cech, 36, and Thibaut Courtois, 22, guessing - but says the team is in good hands whoever starts as his number one. Daily Telegraph

Henrik Larsson's son Jordan, 17, has followed in his father's footsteps by joining Helsingborg. Euronews

He may have had a World Cup horror show and now it looks like another nightmare for Pepe. The 31-year-old Real Madrid defender posted this picture of his new haircut on Instagram.

It has not been the best few months for Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard. After enduring a miserable World Cup with England and seeing Manchester City snatch the title, the 34-year-old gave up on football to try his hand at baseball, posting the results on his Instagram account.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger says he hopes Thierry Henry can be persuaded to don the Gunners strip once again for half a match when his side meet New York Red Bulls in a friendly. DSSC

Manchester United have promised to honour sales of their new home shirt after an online pricing error. The club's official shop listed the jerseys at £22 as part of their half-price sale by mistake. Manchester Evening News

Chelsea youngster Mitchell Beeney got a cream pie in his face from masseur-come-joker Billy McCulloch while trying to perform his initiation song in front of first-team stars. Metro

Napoli manager Rafa Benitez has compared his frustrations in the transfer market to swapping his wife for German model Claudia Schiffer. DSSC

West Brom boss Alan Irvine admits never having seen striker Brown Ideye before making him the club's £10m record signing. Daily Mirror

MORE BOLLOX SOON

[sheblue]

that's a bit of a fuck up isn't it.

[john@staustell]

Vidal rules out United? The silly cunts are convinced they are going to sign all these top players after they finished 7th and dont play in the CL. Ed Woodenhead seems to be the daftest of the lot - even the 2 non-CL players he signed this summer he started on last summer!

[Chinners]

Vidal rules out United? The silly cunts are convinced they are going to sign all these top players after they finished 7th and dont play in the CL. Ed Woodenhead seems to be the daftest of the lot - even the 2 non-CL players he signed this summer he started on last summer!

Notice how its 'dealt a blow' and not 'snubbed'

[Mikhail Chigorin]

So Giggs has stuck his head above the media parapet and described Butthead as the new Ferguscum.

In the first instance, this looks to be a cringeworthy piece of obsequiousness by the Welsh adulterer, trying to ensure that the new ruler of the Swamp doesn't off-load him at an appropriate juncture.

Secondly, given the arrogant and autocratic nature of Von Ghoul, I don't think he'll be too pleased by the comparison, as I'm sure he holds himself in far higher esteem than Bacon Face.

Looks as though Giggs might be developing a big mouth in which to put his little foot.

[South Stand Balti]

that's a bit of a fuck up isn't it.

Yes, no WAG

[Chinners]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

[Beefymcfc]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

To be fare mate, it's not the same. It's all in the surprise.

[craigmcfc]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

To be fare mate, it's not the same. It's all in the surprise.

Plus, some of us have no idea where to find them on t'internet

[mr_nool]

Pm Doomy.

[Moonchesteri]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

To be fare mate, it's not the same. It's all in the surprise.

It's deffo not the same! I feel like a kid at Christmas when I open the daily bollox thread! ;)

[South Stand Balti]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

To be fare mate, it's not the same. It's all in the surprise.

This is true, it's just not the same somehow.

[Beefymcfc]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

To be fare mate, it's not the same. It's all in the surprise.

It's deffo not the same! I feel like a kid at Christmas when I open the daily bollox thread! ;)

It's the thought of 'Should I read the Bollox first' while you're hovering over the 'Show Spoiler' button. Ahhh, fuck it, I'm straight in there ;-)

[craigmcfc]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

To be fare mate, it's not the same. It's all in the surprise.

It's deffo not the same! I feel like a kid at Christmas when I open the daily bollox thread! ;)

It's the thought of 'Should I read the Bollox first' while you're hovering over the 'Show Spoiler' button. Ahhh, fuck it, I'm straight in there ;-)

There's stuff to read?!

[Beefymcfc]

There are quite a few of them to be found on the internet, do you have access?

To be fare mate, it's not the same. It's all in the surprise.

It's deffo not the same! I feel like a kid at Christmas when I open the daily bollox thread! ;)

It's the thought of 'Should I read the Bollox first' while you're hovering over the 'Show Spoiler' button. Ahhh, fuck it, I'm straight in there ;-)

There's stuff to read?!

Fair point, I sometimes come into the thread just for the 'Hit'.

[getdressedmctavish]

Weird isn't it. You can go on the web and see close ups of every nook and cranny of delightful nubiles and yet it doesn't match the erotic pleasure of opening up to view one of Chinners discreet and mainly clothed lovelies. Sex, I'll never understand it.

[Bianchi on Ice]

Weird isn't it. You can go on the web and see close ups of every nook and cranny of delightful nubiles and yet it doesn't match the erotic pleasure of opening up to view one of Chinners discreet and mainly clothed lovelies. Sex, I'll never understand it.

women are sexiest fully clothed, and the ones that know this, and show it, are the sexiest of the lot. Saw one at work today...she wasnt the most beautiful woman id seen that day, in fact she was just.. ok...but the way she MOVED elevated her to absolute sex on legs imo

[Beefymcfc]

Weird isn't it. You can go on the web and see close ups of every nook and cranny of delightful nubiles and yet it doesn't match the erotic pleasure of opening up to view one of Chinners discreet and mainly clothed lovelies. Sex, I'll never understand it.

women are sexiest fully clothed, and the ones that know this, and show it, are the sexiest of the lot. Saw one at work today...she wasnt the most beautiful woman id seen that day, in fact she was just.. ok...but the way she MOVED elevated her to absolute sex on legs imo

What, she was at work and fully clothed?

I dooooooon't believe it!

[Bianchi on Ice]

Weird isn't it. You can go on the web and see close ups of every nook and cranny of delightful nubiles and yet it doesn't match the erotic pleasure of opening up to view one of Chinners discreet and mainly clothed lovelies. Sex, I'll never understand it.

women are sexiest fully clothed, and the ones that know this, and show it, are the sexiest of the lot. Saw one at work today...she wasnt the most beautiful woman id seen that day, in fact she was just.. ok...but the way she MOVED elevated her to absolute sex on legs imo

What, she was at work and fully clothed?

I dooooooon't believe it!

haha yes mate its the truth, but believe me beefy I imagined her without clothes so well the clothes she was wearing were irrelevant