Crazy predictions for the season

[Wooders]

We don't appear to have had the traditional predictions thread?
My fave part was always the "outside bet" predictions segment so i thought it coukd have its own thread
Here's mine:
We will face an english team in the champs league
My hunch is the arse

[Invisible Man Fan]

I thought this after the game yesterday....I reckon our first goalscorer of the season will be Silva

[craigmcfc]

I predict Sergio will go the entire season without picking up an injury and will score 40 goals. I took the title literally.

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

I predict we'll score 10 goals in a league game.

[craigmcfc]

I predict we'll score 10 goals in a league game.

That Huddersfield game will stay with me forever. Beating my home town team 10-1 whilst in my school years was priceless.

[Douglas Higginbottom]

Shrek to be sent off before Christmas
United won't win a game in Europe this season
Mourinho to be sacked before the season ends
another relegated prem side to win one of the cups
Kiddo to get a CBE/MBE or something

[Nigels Tackle]

I predict that...
- louis van moyes will be gone by xmas and baconface will be brought back to replace him
- we will face barca in the group phase of chumps league and we'll beat them home and away
- i also think we'll hit someone for 10 this season

[Hutch's Shoulder]

5 City players to score 20 each this season
Owen unable to appear on Sky in half of season due to injury
Moyse to get another PL managers job (I still miss him...)

[nottsblue]

I predict that...
- louis van moyes will be gone by xmas and baconface will be brought back to replace him
- we will face barca in the group phase of chumps league and we'll beat them home and away
- i also think we'll hit someone for 10 this season

Loving that. Think it might be Easter for Bacon to return. Was he there on Saturday? A few more performances like that and he might go out like his mentor, Jock Stein

[Slim]

Yaya to have no cake.
Sami will be persuaded to rejoin the french squad and then get left out of any qualifiers.
Aguero will score a goal a game, unfortunately he'll only play 30 games total.

[michaelcityfan]

Rooney to announce he's changing gender and wants to be known as Susan.
BBC apologise for reporting bias towards scum and scouse.
City to hit 175 goals this season.
Tony Pulis to take over as manager of qpr.

[Dameerto]

Whinger to drop dead of heart failure when our accounts are published later in the season - Pulis to take charge at Arse.

[dazby]

A United player to have a bird poop in his mouth.

[Goaters 103]

Pulis will be back in the Prem before Christmas doing another survival job. Prediction - Hull City

Despite much media hyperbole, Luke Shaw turns out to be absolutely wank

Fellaini goes out on loan from the cesspit, and promptly starts banging goals in for fun

Arsenal once again go another transfer window without signing the anchor midfielder they are absolutely crying out for

Spurs once again go another transfer window without signing the centre half they are absolutely crying out for

Transfer deadline day brings a Arry interview through his car window, and in total 63 players come and go at QPR on deadline day. Tony Fernandez states they have "learned their lesson from 2 years ago." QPR go down.

Despite having 90% possession, 234 shots at goal and 86 corners, City lose 1-0 away at Sunderland to a Jack Rodwell goal.

Phil Neville gets a job reading bedtime stories on CBeebies. He instantly provides a cure for worldwide child insomnia

Luis Suarez bites his own arm in confusion in the penalty box, gets a 12 month ban from all football and purchasing of BBQ Spare Ribs, appeals, loses and fooks off back to Uruguay where he receives a hero's welcome

Bayern Munich win the "there's only 1 team can win it" League again, sewing up the title just before the winter break. All the other German teams reward them by selling them their best players, as Reus and Hummels sign for Bayern for a plate of Wiener Schnitzel

BT Sport change their name to MUTV in recognition of their "ex Utd players" hiring policy

Keys and Gray land key roles commentating on the Womens Football World Cup. Twitter explodes and Germaine Greer jumps off tower bridge to protest. Nobody notices.

Adrian Chiles disappears up his own arse. Nobody goes looking for him.

ITV4 Hire Ron Atkinson as lead pundit for the ACON in January. The ensuing firestorm of protest - one tweet - raises the viewing figures by 23.

Roy Hodgson "goes for youth" in the Euro qualifiers fielding a front 2 of Ricky Lambert and Jermanine Defoe, with Fat Frank just behind them. Team captain Jimmy Armfield expresses mild surprise at his recall to the side.

[Slim]

Despite having 90% possession, 234 shots at goal and 86 corners, City lose 1-0 away at Sunderland to a Jack Rodwell goal.

Not even remotely crazy, giving up 4 points to Sunderland is a tradition.

[Ted Hughes]

City refused planning permission for Frank Lampard.
Paul Scholes pours petrol over his head & sets fire to it live on BT Sport.
Aguero becomes first player to score 50 goals in a Prem season.
Aguero comes third in POTY poll, behind Gerrard & Paul Scholes.

[Tokyo Blue]

Paul Scholes pours petrol over his head & sets fire to it live on BT Sport.

That would make good television.

[Mikhail Chigorin]

Paul Scholes pours petrol over his head & sets fire to it live on BT Sport.

That would make good television.

It would be most illuminating.