Friday's B****x

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Friday's B****x

Postby Chinners » Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:05 am

THE BOLLOX

Bony could win Manchester City the title, says Monk
The Ivorian was the Premier League's top scorer during 2014 and has bagged nine of Swansea City's 25 league goals this season, but is edging closer to joining the champions
Wilfried Bony could be the difference in the Premier League title race for Manchester City, according to Swansea City boss Garry Monk.
Goal understands the Premier League champions are close to agreeing a £75,000-a-week contract with the 26-year-old as discussions continue over a fee with Swansea holding out for their £30 million valuation.
Bony has scored nine goals in 20 Premier League appearances this season and was the highest-scoring player in the top flight during 2014, and Monk sees his player fitting in at the champions with ease.
"Wilfried could well be the difference in the title race, that's what City see in him," Monk told reporters.
"I can see why their interest is there, he gets you goals. He can improve on certain things but the bottom line is he is a goalscorer and it's obviously what they want him for.
"But, in terms of money, Wilfried has to be up there. You look at guys like Romelu Lukaku and the money they went for. Compare their contributions with Bony's, it's pretty much a no brainer.
"I think the club is very clear on what he is worth and I can see why the club are holding out for the figure they are holding out for.
"If they haven't quite met that valuation, and that's what the situation must be, otherwise I am sure the deal would have been done, Huw will wait for it and quite rightly so. I assure you Bony is worth it."
Bafetimbi Gomis has been unhappy with a lack of minutes since his summer arrival, prompting past interest from Crystal Palace, but Monk does not expect the Frenchman to leave if promoted to first-choice striker.
He said: "You look at the clubs he has been linked with, why would you move sideways or backwards? That is not a logical step.
"If it was a bigger club with Champions League football you can understand it, but it is likely he will be our main striker and I am looking forward to it."

Jovetic could make way as Man City look to push through £27m Bony deal
Wilfried Bony's arrival at Manchester City would present Manuel Pellegrini with a Champions League-related problem.
Manuel Pellegrini will land himself a selection headache if City’s £27million offer for Wilfried Bony is successful.
The Ivory Coast striker is keen to sign for the Blues, with Champions League football a main attraction.
But if he does arrive in this transfer window it will mean Pellegrini has a tough choice to make when it comes to submitting a revised squad to Uefa on February 3.
Bony’s arrival will mean City have 17 foreign players in their squad, and with Uefa’s financial fair play rap restricting them to 16, it means someone will get the push.
It was a problem that Pellegrini initially faced in the summer, when he had 18 foreign stars – and solved the problem by shipping out Alvaro Negredo and Javi Garcia.
As it stands, City’s 21-man squad is full – they have the maximum 16 foreign stars, the maximum four association-trained players – Joe Hart, Gael Clichy, James Milner and Frank Lampard – and one home-grown player, Dedryck Boyata.
Negredo and Garcia had not convinced Pellegrini he needed them, and the prospect of them bringing in £37million in transfer fees was a big factor.
This time, it is less obvious where the axe will fall, and has led to speculation that a senior first teamer may yet be sold in this window, with some fingers pointing at Stevan Jovetic.
Pellegrini has started to run out of patience with the Montenegrin’s injury record, and with Bony rarely missing games, the man who joined City for £22million in 2013 could be the fall guy on a permanent basis.
It is also likely that Pellegrini feels he could get by in the Champions League with three strikers, as it has become obvious that playing a lone man up front is his best tactic in Europe.
Looking through the squad, it is hard to see where he could trim.
He could bank on Joe Hart’s impeccable injury and suspension record and drop his deputy Willy Caballero, while promoting 20-year-old Ian Lawlor from the elite development squad.
Or he could consider that having Pablo Zabaleta at right back, with Dedryck Boyata – who is the only home-grown player in the 21-man squad - as cover, could be enough, and drop Bacary Sagna.
On the other side, the off-colour Aleks Kolarov could make way, with Gael Clichy covered by Eliaquim Mangala.
City also have excellent full backs in the youth ranks – Angelino, Ashley Smith-Brown and Matthias Bossaerts spring to mind – and as under-21 players, they do not count in the restrictions.
Selling someone, with Jovetic an obvious candidate, would also solve the problem of finding the money for the Bony deal.
City are still subject to a restriction of a £49million cap on their net spending, and after their summer business of buying Mangala (£40m), Fernando (£12m), Willy Caballero (£4.5m) and Bruno Zuculini (£1.5m) and selling Javi Garcia (£13m), Jack Rodwell (£11m) and Emyr Huws (£2m) they have £17million left.
That is clearly not enough to buy Bony, so City either need to sell or to make an agreement with Swansea to stagger the payment.
The Uefa restrictions should be lifted this summer, and the Blues already have a binding agreement in place to sell on-loan Negredo to Valencia for £25million in July.

Manchester City defender Matija Nastasic is poised to wrap up his move to Schalke over the coming days.
Sportsmail revealed Schalke's interest last month and that of AC Milan. The Italians have failed to follow up with any substantial bid as they push their finances towards other priorities and Schalke are hopeful of concluding an initial loan with a view to a permanent £10million signing.
Nastasic, 21, has 16 caps for Serbia and was considered to have a promising future when he arrived from Fiorentina for £12m. However, he has failed to establish himself and the arrival of Eliaquim Mangala has limited his prospects further.
Manchester City outcast Matija Nastasic is poised to join German side Schalke over the coming days
Arsenal and Inter Milan showed interest initially but Schalke coach Roberto Di Matteo has pressed for Nastasic and the German side will conclude a deal shortly.
City are continuing to look for a left-sided defender but that is more likely to be for the summer.
They remain confident of James Milner signing a new contract with them and are waiting for Aston Villa to improve their offer for Scott Sinclair.

Aston Villa: Scott Sinclair can be Premier League star, says Paul Lambert
Boss believes Villa target can make an impact in the top flight despite making just two starts in two years at Manchester City
Paul Lambert reckons Scott Sinclair still has enough quality to make a major impact in the Premier League.
The Aston Villa target has had a torrid two years since moving from Swansea to Manchester City but Lambert insists he still has plenty to offer.
Sinclair is certain to leave the Etihad Stadium this month after becoming surplus to requirements and Villa want to add him to their ranks.
The claret and blues must find around £3million to lure him to the Midlands and be prepared to stump up a healthy wage packet for the winger and at this stage that appears to be slowing up the pursuit.
Lambert refused to comment on the chase for his signature but admitted that he is a player who he rates highly.
“It’s unfair for me to comment on somebody who isn’t here,” he said.
“But I know the lad from his Swansea days and I know exactly what he can do.”
Sinclair has made just two starts for Man City since moving to the club and has only featured as a late substitute this season.
He also failed to make an impact at rivals Albion during a season-long loan last term.
Lambert said: “It’s been a hard move for him going to Man City.
“When I was at Norwich we were vying with Swansea to get out of the league at the same time and they had him and Nathan Dyer at the time.
“The pair of them were major players in that team.
“Norwich managed to get second place behind QPR and he scored a hat-trick in the play-off final.
“The year he had in the Premier League was outstanding.
“He’s certainly got it in him to be a real good player.
“The Man City move has probably been a bit different to what he has imagined.”

Manchester City fan and former two-weight world boxing champion Ricky Hatton was among those to wish the club's Spanish playmaker David Silva a happy 29th birthday. "All the best amigo," he signed off on Twitter.

Lampard to join New York City FC in July, claims agent
Frank Lampard’s agent has revealed to talkSHIT’s Jason Cundy that the former Chelsea midfielder will not extend his stay at Manchester City beyond the end of the 2014/15 season.
Lampard’s agent, Steve Kutner, told Cundy that Lampard will be signing a contract with New York City FC in July.
It was announced on Thursday that Lampard was solely registered with Manchester City and was not on-loan from the MLS outfit.
And Kutner claimed the City midfielder was not offered a new contract by Chelsea last summer and was in talks with LA Galaxy and New York City FC before signing for the Premier League champions.

Milner calls on City to show title credentials
James Milner has challenged Manchester City to seize the initiative in the Premier League title race when they face struggling Everton on Saturday.
Manuel Pellegrini's side are joint top of the table with Chelsea, behind the Blues only on alphabetical order, after hitting a rich vein of form in recent weeks.
The reigning champions trailed Jose Mourinho's men by eight points in November and their indifferent form was raising questions over the long-term future of Pellegrini.
But those doubts have been swept aside amid a run of 13 games unbeaten in all competitions.
Their only blip during the congested festive programme was a 2-2 draw with Burnley and Milner sees no reason why momentum cannot be maintained, starting at Goodison Park this weekend.
"Hopefully we'll be looking to open up a little gap of our own," said Milner, who scored twice to seal last weekend's 2-1 win over Sheffield Wednesday in the FA Cup third round.
"You look at this run (ahead) and people think it is tougher than the games we had over Christmas but - it is an old cliche in the Premier League - there are form teams and out-of-form teams. Every game is difficult.
"You've got teams at the bottom who look and think, 'We're going to win that game,' - look at Burnley coming here and how well they played.
"Sometimes it is easier to play against teams who are mid-table and pushing for Europe and are moving it around a lot more. Who knows what an easy game is? It is the Premier League.
"All we can do is concentrate on our games and if we can get the results we want to get, it depends on how Chelsea do."
Everton manager Roberto Martinez hopes a positive result against City can provide the catalyst for his side to start moving back up the table and away from potential relegation trouble.
A run of four successive league defeats and six from their last eight games has dragged Everton - who finished fifth last season - to within just four points of the drop zone.
They stopped the rot with a late goal from Romelu Lukaku to earn a 1-1 FA Cup third-round draw against West Ham on Monday night.
And Martinez knows his side must now produce a near flawless performance to build on that against a City side who beat Everton 1-0 in December thanks only to a fortuitous Yaya Toure penalty as part of their remarkable winning run.
"Manchester City are playing with a real swagger and arrogance," Martinez said. "They don't need many chances to punish you, which is why our performance needs to be perfect.
"But the way we performed not long ago at the Etihad, we deserved a lot more than what we got. I feel we are ready to face a team like City at this point.
"We have had four really bad results and we need to put that right. It doesn't matter what the opposition is, we have to look at what we can do.
"We know how glamorous occasions can be, facing Manchester City. It's always a really exciting game.
"But in the position we are in the league, the only thing we are looking at is to get a good, positive momentum.
"To do that you need to put a real chain of good results together and that starts with one good performance.
"I still feel this squad is strong enough to be very successful. It's time now to get a couple of positive results and see how far we can go this season."
City hope to welcome key duo Vincent Kompany and Edin Dzeko back into the squad.
But Everton won't have to contend with Yaya Toure as the midfielder is away with Ivory Coast for the Africa Cup of nations.

Lionel Messi: I want Chelsea or Man City… if they pay £500MILLION!
LIONEL MESSI is open to a move to Chelsea or Manchester City - if they put together a stunning £500million package for him to quit Barcelona.
Messi in unhappy with life at the Nou Camp after clashing with Barca boss Luis Enrique.
The Spanish giants are currently in crisis with club president Josep Maria Bartemeu calling early elections.
And Messi is ready to QUIT Barca, should a Premier League club be willing to shell out £500m for his services.
Lionel Messi is reportedly ready to leave Barcelona
A source told The Sun: "Leo's minded to leave Barca. He is completely fed up with so many things at the club that it is difficult to see a way forward."
Messi has a reported £210m release clause that Chelsea or City would have to activate to snare him.
And the 27-year-old would expect a six-year deal worth a staggering £45m annually - worth a total £270m.
Therefore the transfer fee and contract cost to lure Messi from Barca would cost either Prem club just short of £500m.

Spoiler: Show/Hide
Spoilbox

Manchester United are looking at a £35m bid for defender Mats Hummels, 26, as boss Louis van Gaal looks to take advantage of Borussia Dortmund's perilous league position in the German Bundesliga. (Daily Mirror)

However, van Gaal may have to wait until the summer to sign both Hummels and long-time defensive target Kevin Strootman, 24, from Roma with both players reported to be happy at their current clubs. (London Evening Standard)

Liverpool are considering a move for Barcelona goalkeeper Marc-Andre ter Stegen, 22, as boss Brendan Rodgers considers replacements for Simon Mignolet . (Daily Star)

Newcastle are expected to speak to former Lyon coach Remi Garde about becoming the club's new head coach next week. (Daily Telegraph)

Lyon striker Alexandre Lacazette, 23, has given both Arsenal and Liverpool a boost in their pursuit of the striker as he reveals he wants to play in Spain or England. (Daily Express)

Liverpool striker Mario Balotelli, 24, has no interest in joining Olympiakos on loan after the Greek side offered to pay his wages in full until the end of the season. (Daily Star)

Manchester United could delay a decision on a new contract for goalkeeper David de Gea, 24, until the summer with the club facing the distraction of prioritising a decision on 28-year-old striker Radamel Falcao's long-term future at Old Trafford. (Daily Telegraph)

De Gea has been offered a double your money, £140,000-a-week deal to extend his Manchester United contract. (Daily Star)

Tottenham are struggling to offload midfielder Paulinho, 26, because neither Inter Milan nor Schalke will match the £17m Spurs paid for the Brazilian in 2013. (Daily Express)

But, the club look set to complete a loan deal for Paris St-Germain midfielder Adrien Rabot, 19. (The Times)

Celtic are lining up a £1.5m bid for Chesterfield striker Eoin Doyle, 24, who has also interested Rotherham and Sheffield United. (Daily Record)

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has told players any of them caught smoking on club duty will be sent to train with the youth team for the rest of the season following goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny's misdemeanour in the changing room shower after defeat against Southampton. (The Times)

Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge, 25, will return to training at the club's Melwood complex on Friday after working for nearly a month in the Unites States on his rehabilitation from a torn thigh muscle. (Liverpool Echo)

New Crystal Palace boss Alan Pardew believes managing Newcastle will be "difficult" for his successor at St James' Park because of the club's financial and transfer policies. (Daily Express)

Former Barcelona coach Henk Ten Cate says that playmaker Lionel Messi, 27, is still at the Catalan side because of a "deathbed" promise to former coach Tito Vilanova. (Daily Mirror)

Everton boss Roberto Martinez says he will rectify problems that have led to a number of players picking up hamstring injuries with the club already replacing some of its medics. (Daily Mirror)

Former Portugal star Luis Figo admits it is a tough choice for this year's Ballon d'Or, describing playmakers Barcelona's Lionel Messi and Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo, 29, as the "truffles and caviar" of the football world. (Goal.com)

Dennis Wise's son Henry has signed a one-year deal to play for Arsenal where the 15-year-old midfielder will team up with all three of David Beckham's sons - Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz - as well as Frank Lampard's nephew. (Daily Mail)

West Ham striker Andy Carroll's career to date has been dogged by injury, but the 26-year-old ended up inadvertently injuring himself again off the pitch - while making lunch. (Metro)


more bollox shortly
Last edited by Chinners on Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby mr_nool » Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:10 am

Cheers Chinners!
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby Goaters 103 » Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:17 am

Why is it the media continually tell us that "you must have 4 strikers" and then whenever we do have 4, we are immediately told that one of them must be sold and wont be happy? Odd.

I see the Mirror has printed some bollox about Barca wanting Soriano, Txiki and Manuel today; isn't Soriano currently banned from managing financial operations in Spain? Would be some ballsy, law-defying move by Barca to re-appoint him .... or could it just be shit stirring by the Mirror perhaps?
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby Mikhail Chigorin » Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:23 am

Does anyone know how Andy Carroll injured himself whilst making lunch ?? Was he cutting up onions and got some fumes in his eyes ??
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby Hutch's Shoulder » Fri Jan 09, 2015 10:50 am

I'm not sure how anyone interprets MP's enigmatic utterances as him being fed up with Jovetic's injury record. He probably is, but how would anyone know?
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby Peter Doherty (AGAIG) » Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:59 pm

Mikhail Chigorin wrote:Does anyone know how Andy Carroll injured himself whilst making lunch ?? Was he cutting up onions and got some fumes in his eyes ??

He sprained his wrist battering a fish.
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby Beefymcfc » Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:04 pm

Mikhail Chigorin wrote:Does anyone know how Andy Carroll injured himself whilst making lunch ?? Was he cutting up onions and got some fumes in his eyes ??

It was a liquid lunch, a stein of Vodka Redbull, without the Redbull.
In the words of my Old Man, "Life will never be the same without Man City, so get it in while you can".

The Future's Bright, The Future's Blue!!!
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby World Toure » Fri Jan 09, 2015 4:04 pm

Well done as always, Chinners.
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby nottsblue » Fri Jan 09, 2015 7:23 pm

Beefymcfc wrote:
Mikhail Chigorin wrote:Does anyone know how Andy Carroll injured himself whilst making lunch ?? Was he cutting up onions and got some fumes in his eyes ??

It was a liquid lunch, a stein of Vodka Redbull, without the Redbull.

What it didn't say was it was lunch for BFS. He hurt himself humping a sack of spuds and half a cow to make a pie for Sam
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Re: Friday's B****x

Postby Mikhail Chigorin » Fri Jan 09, 2015 8:37 pm

nottsblue wrote:
Beefymcfc wrote:
Mikhail Chigorin wrote:Does anyone know how Andy Carroll injured himself whilst making lunch ?? Was he cutting up onions and got some fumes in his eyes ??

It was a liquid lunch, a stein of Vodka Redbull, without the Redbull.

What it didn't say was it was lunch for BFS. He hurt himself humping a sack of spuds and half a cow to make a pie for Sam


Aaaahhh. A cow pie for Desperate Sam.

On that basis, he'll now be out for the rest of the season.
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