Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

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Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:45 am

UWAFFER BOLLOX
Manchester City and Chelsea face being excluded from the Champions League unless they can work the huge losses both have announced over the past seven days down to break-even levels within four seasons. Uefa is working up formal regulations that will entrench Michel Platini's plan to ensure that clubs operate without making significant long-term losses. "If a club gets a lot of money or subsidies from a big backer and is still in deficit in two years then it is a problem and we don't want that," Platini said in August.
Two days after those comments, the European Club Association (ECA) approved Platini's proposals and Uefa privately confirmed yesterday that it is adding the "financial fair play" rules to its statutes in time for the 2013-14 season. The delay in the implementation was yesterday described as an effort to provide clubs a "soft landing", but Uefa firmly envisages that clubs who fail to meet the regulations will be prevented from taking part in its competitions.
Since the biggest clubs generate interest and revenue for the Champions League, the suspension of those such as Chelsea and City would be a test of resolve. But Uefa has been emboldened by the broad ECA support, and insiders at Uefa are bullish.
"There needs to be a business model for breaking even within three and a half years," a source said. "The deadline is what it is and we will stick to it; we have tremendous support from the clubs."
Between them City and Chelsea have declared losses in the year to June 2009 of more than £130m. Chelsea's chief executive, Ron Gourlay, has abandoned a specific target date for break-even, reassessing it as an aspiration.
City playing catch-up
Profits, and so a sustainable place in the Champions League, seem a long way off for Manchester City, even though – as revealed in this column last July – Sheikh Mansour's £305m of loans have been converted into equity.
Turning Chelsea into regular title challengers has cost Roman Abramovich £500m in cumulative losses. City have not shrunk from that target, spending £117.5m on transfer fees last summer and an estimated £30m a year in wages for Emmanuel Adebayor, Carlos Tevez, Kolo Touré, Roque Santa Cruz and Joleon Lescott. But, crucially, Sheikh Mansour's club start from a weaker base.
When Abramovich bought Chelsea they were already in the Champions League and had a turnover of £153.6m, £66m – or 73% – more than City have. And City's prospects for raising extra revenues from ticket sales do not look great. Their attendances have risen more than 3,000 from their season average to 46,000, but, right up until its postponement, there were about 400 seats available on general sale for the Carling Cup semi-final against Manchester United: City's first last-four place since the 1981 FA Cup.

Financial thread: viewtopic.php?f=119&t=29263

Legend in his own head Bollox
CHELSEA are bracing themselves for another big financial hit next week when a compensation fee for their signing of Daniel Sturridge from Manchester City will finally be settled.
London club Chelsea could end up forking out £8million for 20-year-old striker Sturridge, who was Carlo Ancelotti’s first signing after taking over as manager last summer.
Although the player was out of contract, having rejected an offer of a new deal worth £45,000 a week, City are entitled to claim “development costs” for a player who came through their academy.
And given Sturridge’s potential, City’s valuation is understood to be around £8m – four times more than the figure Chelsea are prepared to offer.
Six months after the transfer went through, the two clubs have still failed to reach an amicable agreement and will now put their cases to a FA-Premier League tribunal next Thursday.
But the delay in sorting out the wrangle appears to have worked in City’s favour. Sturridge, who became Britain’s best-paid teenage footballer when he signed a four-year deal worth £75,000 a week at Chelsea when he was still 19, has recently broken into Ancelotti’s first team.
He scored his first two senior goals for the club in the 5-0 FA Cup thrashing of Watford, and Ancelotti believes he is good enough to help ease the loss of Didier Drogba, who could be away for up to a month on international duty with the Ivory Coast at the African Nations Cup.
City will point to Sturridge’s breakthrough at Chelsea as well as his potential to complete the full set of England honours – he has represented his country at every level up to Under-21 and is tipped to play for the senior team in the next couple of seasons. They regard Sturridge in the same bracket as Theo Walcott, who joined Arsenal from Southampton four years ago for a down payment of £5m rising to £12.5m.
And they will also point to the £6m fee Manchester United collected for striker Fraizer Campbell – a player of similar age and potential to Sturridge – when he moved to Sunderland in the summer.
Chelsea could be ordered to pay £5m immediately with another £3m based on appearances, honours won and senior international caps. Ironically, City had to pay compensation themselves after they “poached” him from Coventry’s academy when Birmingham-born Sturridge was only 13, although the figures were considerably lower than what they are now expecting.
An initial payment to Coventry of £30,000 was followed by a further payments up to £200,000 as Sturridge came through the ranks at City.
In 2007-08 he became the first player to score in the FA Youth Cup, Premier League and FA Cup in the same season. In fact, he helped City beat Chelsea to win the Youth Cup that season, scoring in the 1-1 first leg draw at Stamford Bridge.
Along with several other top clubs, Chelsea director of football Frank Arnesen had been monitoring Sturridge for years. Arnesen landed the player last summer after then City manager Mark Hughes had made repeated attempts to persuade him to sign a new contract throughout last season.
Sturridge’s father Michael played for Birmingham and his uncles, Dean and Simon, were also both professionals – Dean with Derby and Wolves and Simon for Birmingham.
He ended up making 12 first-team starts for City, plus 20 as a substitute, scoring six goals.Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich is well used to compensation pay-outs. He has given around £40m to the four managers he has sacked – Claudio Ranieri, Jose Mourinho, Avram Grant and Luiz Felipe Scolari. And he had to pay Leeds £5m in 2006 after Chelsea were accused of poaching two youngsters from them. While many Premier League clubs are counting the pennies, the Blues will be forced to splash the cash... ‘City are claiming development costs’

Arsenal legend Vieira will be first through the door - and £18million Palermo centre-half Simon Kjaer could be next.
MANCHESTER CITY will carry on spend, spend, spending as they welcome Patrick Vieira to Eastlands today.
Moneybags owner Sheikh Mansour has given the green light for new boss Roberto Mancini to splash another £100million in the January transfer window.

Mancini's scouts watched the Danish international against Sampdoria last night and City are poised to swoop for the powerful 20-year-old, who has also attracted interest from Manchester United and Real Madrid.
City have yet to concede a goal in three games under Mancini but defensive frailties were their undoing under sacked Mark Hughes - and Vieira is seen as another vital piece in the jigsaw.
Former Inter coach Mancini knows the Frenchman well and has offered him a £140,000-a-week deal to join City on loan for the rest of the season.
Vieira, 33, is due in Manchester today after saying farewell to his Inter team-mates last night.
He is eager to relaunch his career ahead of the World Cup this summer after failing to hold down a regular place in Jose Mourinho's team this season.
There is also the added incentive of a further year's contract with City if all goes well.
There seems no end to City's spending powers, even though Sheikh Mansour has already devoted £305m to wiping out the club's debts.
But he is willing to make another £100m available in a bid to push City into the Champions League.
And there will be plenty more in the summer if the top-four place materialises.
City posted record losses of £92.6m for the year ending to May 2009, just nine months since the men from Abu Dhabi swept in and revolutionised the club.
But that is nothing compared to the money the multi- billionaire Sheikh has written off from his own bulging pockets.
He spent £210m on buying the club plus a further £94m on players up to May of 2009.
He has also poured another £1m into the club's training ground.
And the Sheikh has also bought another £89.6m in new shares to help finance spending on down payments on players last summer.
It means City's debts are now zero - compared to the £690m hovering over neighbours Manchester United due to the Glazer takeover - a debt that costs United over £40m a year to service.

ESPANYOL hope it will be second time lucky in their bid to sign Roque Santa Cruz on loan.
The Spanish side tried unsuccessfully to prise the striker away from Manchester City just before Mark Hughes was sacked.
They will now approach Roberto Mancini about the Paraguayan, 28, who has made only two league starts since leaving Blackburn for £17.5m last summer. Santa Cruz scored twice in Hughes' last game, the 4-3 triumph over Sunderland, but otherwise has been restricted to one Carling Cup goal. He admitted: "My agents have received calls from other clubs asking about me."

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TRANSFER BOLLOX
Manchester United have been told they will have to pay £40m if they want to sign Marseille winger Hatem Ben Arfa.
The Sun

Cash-strapped Portsmouth have put their entire squad up for sale.
Daily Star

Everton are considering a deal for out-of-favour Blackburn striker Benni McCarthy as boss David Moyes looks to boost his options in attack.
Daily Mail

Birmingham boss Alex McLeish has launched a £9m bid for Sunderland striker Kenwyne Jones.
Various

Sunderland want to replace Jones with Schalke 04 striker Kevin Kuranyi.
Daily Mirror

McLeish, meanwhile, is set to improve his offer for Liverpool forward Ryan Babel from £8m to £10m.
Daily Mirror

Bolton could make a move for Eskisehirspor's Bosnia defender Safet Nadarevic, who is due for talks with Bolton on Monday.
Daily Mail

Newcastle will target Napoli's Ezequiel Lavezzi, nicknamed 'the Tank', if they make it back to the Premier League but the Italian club want more than £5m for their striker.
The Sun

Magpies boss Chris Hughton has received a setback after Sheffield United centre-back Matt Kilgallon decided he will remain at Bramall Lane until his contract expires in the summer, despite the clubs having agreed £2m fee.
The Sun

The Blades want to take Kyle Naughton back from Tottenham on loan - the full-back has played only once since his joint £12m summer transfer with Kyle Walker.

OTHER BOLLOX
Manchester United defender Gary Neville is set to retire from football at the end of the season.The Sun

West Ham are the target of £100m takeover offer, which could lead to a bidding war for the Upton Park club.
The Sun

LA Galaxy midfielder David Backham may have nowhere to play once his AC Milan loan deal ends in May because Major League Soccer faces a strike. International players union DIDPro is deadlocked in talks with MLS about a new deal for all players in the United States and the league is threatening a lock-out if a new contract is not signed by 31 January.

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has admitted he once tried to sign legendary AC Milan defender Paolo Maldini - only to be rebuffed by his father, the former Italy boss Cesare Maldini. "I always wanted to get Paolo here but it was impossible," said the Scot.
"I met his father at a game and told him how much I'd love to have his son at United. Cesare smiled at me and said 'My grandfather was Milan, my father was Milan, I played for Milan and now my son is Milan'. And that was it - story over!"
The Sun

Michael Oliver will become the youngest referee in Premier League history when he takes charge of Fulham's home game against Portsmouth on Saturday at the age of 24. (Daily Mail)
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby hyper » Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:32 am

"Manchester U***d defender Gary Neville is set to retire from football at the end of the season.The Sun "

Don't care about who we might or not might-not sign but please let this be true!
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby 13021J » Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:22 am

hyper wrote:"Manchester U***d defender Gary Neville is set to retire from football at the end of the season.The Sun "

Don't care about who we might or not might-not sign but please let this be true!


I'm not sure, I think I'd like to see him play in some more derbies where he and team will be destroyed in the coming years!
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Vhero » Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:54 am

We need to get into chumps league this season before these new rules take force if we don't get in before it happens we can never break even thus never be allowed in. It's a stupid idea for that reason alone... Also why the hell are the rags allowed in then? I mean with their debt surely they should be in the same boat?
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Niall Quinns Discopants » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:13 am

That wag makes me really horny. I reckon she is right dirty slut.
Sometimes we're good and sometimes we're bad but when we're good, at least we're much better than we used to be and when we are bad we're just as bad as we always used to be, so that's got to be good hasn't it?


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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:18 am

Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:That wag makes me really horny. I reckon she is right dirty slut.


Ah, and normallity is resumed ... good work
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby lets all have a disco » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:24 am

Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:That wag makes me really horny. I reckon she is right dirty slut.


Do i have to pay for this post?

Your horny words got me going.
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Niall Quinns Discopants » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:40 am

lets all have a disco wrote:
Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:That wag makes me really horny. I reckon she is right dirty slut.


Do i have to pay for this post?

Your horny words got me going.


£5.50 per post +vat
Sometimes we're good and sometimes we're bad but when we're good, at least we're much better than we used to be and when we are bad we're just as bad as we always used to be, so that's got to be good hasn't it?


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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby lets all have a disco » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:41 am

Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:
lets all have a disco wrote:
Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:That wag makes me really horny. I reckon she is right dirty slut.


Do i have to pay for this post?

Your horny words got me going.


£5.50 per post +vat


Do us two for a tenner.
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Niall Quinns Discopants » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:47 am

lets all have a disco wrote:
Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:
lets all have a disco wrote:
Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:That wag makes me really horny. I reckon she is right dirty slut.


Do i have to pay for this post?

Your horny words got me going.


£5.50 per post +vat


Do us two for a tenner.


Let's make it three for fifteen AND you can read the posts you've bought for as many times as you want for that money.
Sometimes we're good and sometimes we're bad but when we're good, at least we're much better than we used to be and when we are bad we're just as bad as we always used to be, so that's got to be good hasn't it?


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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Beeks » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:50 am

Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:
lets all have a disco wrote:
Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:
lets all have a disco wrote:
Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:That wag makes me really horny. I reckon she is right dirty slut.


Do i have to pay for this post?

Your horny words got me going.


£5.50 per post +vat


Do us two for a tenner.


Let's make it three for fifteen AND you can read the posts you've bought for as many times as you want for that money.


Eh?! Two for a tenner equates to 3 for 15...you hardly drive a hard bargain you slut!
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:52 am

Do you accept ...
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Dronny » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:58 am

Eh?! Two for a tenner equates to 3 for 15...you hardly drive a hard bargain you slut!


On the contrary IBH, 3 for 15 is a hard sell. You would expect to pay less for the more you buy, relative to the individual unit price. What Antii's done is throw in endless post readings to bolster his high price point, for him thats a cheap variable ;-)
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Niall Quinns Discopants » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:06 am

Dronny wrote:Eh?! Two for a tenner equates to 3 for 15...you hardly drive a hard bargain you slut!


On the contrary IBH, 3 for 15 is a hard sell. You would expect to pay less for the more you buy, relative to the individual unit price. What Antii's done is throw in endless post readings to bolster his high price point, for him thats a cheap variable ;-)


Exactly!

Oh, and we accept all the major credit cards, Paypal and nude pictures of women aged between 18 and 45.
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:09 am

sweet ... just off to brave the snow to buy some more Kleenex ...
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby lets all have a disco » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:11 am

Chinners wrote:sweet ... just off to brave the snow to buy some more Kleenex ...



I'll deliver it to you for £5.50.

2 deliverys for a tenner,3 for 15.

OK?
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Chinners » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:12 am

Ha ha, you guys are great, you'll be offering to charge me for having a shit on my behalf next
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Dronny » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:17 am

Niall Quinns Discopants wrote:
Dronny wrote:Eh?! Two for a tenner equates to 3 for 15...you hardly drive a hard bargain you slut!


On the contrary IBH, 3 for 15 is a hard sell. You would expect to pay less for the more you buy, relative to the individual unit price. What Antii's done is throw in endless post readings to bolster his high price point, for him thats a cheap variable ;-)


Exactly!

Oh, and we accept all the major credit cards, Paypal and nude pictures of women aged between 18 and 45.


As an independant FA do I get discount please?!
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby dazby » Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:16 pm

Chinners wrote:Ha ha, you guys are great, you'll be offering to charge me for having a shit on my behalf next


Hey hey, when has this offer been available????

How many cups?
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Re: Thursday's Uwaffer B*ll*x

Postby Rag_hater » Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:42 pm

It seems odd that a quotation from something Platini said in August is rehashed the day after the Sheikh clears our assumed debt.
And it appears from that article clubs that are in debt are the ones that should be worried.As we dont have any it just seems scaremongering to say we dont meet the criteria.We meet the fact that we dont make long term losses.With the Sheikh buying shares out of his own money how can the money he spends be counted as long term losses.
The only thing he can object to with us is that we dont make enough which firstly is non of his business and secondly a matter of accounting.
By the way best Wag ever
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