The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

[london blue 2]

Sky are showing a video that pogba put on social media with lukaku doing some staged bullshit about him signing. They really will stop at nothing to feed the rags.

Proper cringy

[Mikhail Chigorin]

Lukaku has been arrested in the USA , too much partying in LA by the sound of things . Yes he really has !

He was probably partying because he thought the Scum deal had fallen through and he was returning, instead, to Chelsea.

His hangover, the following morning, would have been something else to behold when grim realisation set in.

[johnny crossan]

Lukaku has been arrested in the USA , too much partying in LA by the sound of things . Yes he really has !

He was probably partying because he thought the Scum deal had fallen through and he was returning, instead, to Chelsea.

His hangover, the following morning, would have been something else to behold when grim realisation set in.

sounds like a bright lad....

[PrezIke]

They won the treble though, you know? Next time it could be the bass...the bass...the bass...(ment)

[Mikhail Chigorin]

They won the treble though, you know? Next time it could be the bass...the bass...the bass...(ment)

Some sarcastic souls might say that's a baseless comment......

[CTID Hants]

Pinched off BMD's FB page....

[nottsblue]

Pinched off BMD's FB page....

Chuckling

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

This is from today's Cheshire Today:

LUKAKU GETS ‘DREAM MOVE’ TO MAN U

Romelu Lukaku has completed what he described as his dream move to Manchester United. The striker has moved from Everton in a move said to be worth up to £90 million with add-ons, but sources close to the club claim to be as high as Paul Pogba’s £130 million move last summer, a figure which includes a payment of more than £40 million pound to the agent Mino Raiola (who has brokered the Lukaku deal).

Lukaku, a Belgium international, says that the move has nothing to do with trebling his wages, or to do with the fact that Chelsea were not willing to pay his agent the exorbitant fee he requested, and was instead motivated by his desire to play for the Premier League champions. ‘I want to play for the Premier League champions,’ said Lukaku. When it was pointed out to him that Chealsea are in fact the champions, Lukaku retorted ‘I meant the champions from a few years back, history is important to me.’

Lukaku also claimed that he can’t wait to play for Sir Alec Feherguson and that he’s sure they’ll win lots of titles together. When it was further pointed out to him that Jose Mourinho was now the manager at the Stadium of Increasing Desperation and that he had not rated him at Chelsea and so got rid of him, Lukaku paused before declaring ‘He won’t be Mercenary United’s manager for much longer as all the players hate him. Oops! Can you not put that in your paper, I’m not supposed to say that?’

Lukaku, a passionate follower of Buddhism, said that he had always wanted to play for Man U as far back as when he’d been a cockroach in one of his previous lives and that he was looking forward to moving to Surrey to get closer to the fans. Asked what he was going to spend his new-found wealth on, Lukaku said that he - like all player at the Theatre of Increasing Debt - only played for the love of the shirt and the minimum wage.
Lukaku then drove off in his brand new red Lamborghini.

[Mikhail Chigorin]

This is from today's Cheshire Today:

LUKAKU GETS ‘DREAM MOVE’ TO MAN U

Romelu Lukaku has completed what he described as his dream move to Manchester United. The striker has moved from Everton in a move said to be worth up to £90 million with add-ons, but sources close to the club claim to be as high as Paul Pogba’s £130 million move last summer, a figure which includes a payment of more than £40 million pound to the agent Mino Raiola (who has brokered the Lukaku deal).

Lukaku, a Belgium international, says that the move has nothing to do with trebling his wages, or to do with the fact that Chelsea were not willing to pay his agent the exorbitant fee he requested, and was instead motivated by his desire to play for the Premier League champions. ‘I want to play for the Premier League champions,’ said Lukaku. When it was pointed out to him that Chealsea are in fact the champions, Lukaku retorted ‘I meant the champions from a few years back, history is important to me.’

Lukaku also claimed that he can’t wait to play for Sir Alec Feherguson and that he’s sure they’ll win lots of titles together. When it was further pointed out to him that Jose Mourinho was now the manager at the Stadium of Increasing Desperation and that he had not rated him at Chelsea and so got rid of him, Lukaku paused before declaring ‘He won’t be Mercenary United’s manager for much longer as all the players hate him. Oops! Can you not put that in your paper, I’m not supposed to say that?’

Lukaku, a passionate follower of Buddhism, said that he had always wanted to play for Man U as far back as when he’d been a cockroach in one of his previous lives and that he was looking forward to moving to Surrey to get closer to the fans. Asked what he was going to spend his new-found wealth on, Lukaku said that he - like all player at the Theatre of Increasing Debt - only played for the love of the shirt and the minimum wage.
Lukaku then drove off in his brand new red Lamborghini.

If Tenzin Gyatso finds out that Lukaku is a Buddhist, I could well see him converting to Confucianism.

[Mase]

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/wayne-rooney-paid-50m-ransom-to-stay-at-manchester-united-6528016.html

Never forget.

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/wayne-rooney-paid-50m-ransom-to-stay-at-manchester-united-6528016.html

Never forget.

The deal also comes just weeks after he faced allegations of having sex with a prostitute while his wife Coleen was pregnant. He allegedly paid for hotel sex sessions with £1,000-a-night prostitute Jennifer Thompson, 21, seven times over four months.

The announcement was made at lunchtime on the club's website below a picture of a beaming Ferguson with his arm round Rooney's shoulders.

Why would they announce he'd slept with a hooker 7 times on the website? And with a picture of a beaming Ferguson?

[Beefymcfc]

SCUM!

[nottsblue]

SCUM!

Never a truer word

[Mikhail Chigorin]

SCUM!

Never a truer word

Absolutely.

[Hutch's Shoulder]

Bizarrely, Rooney looks younger now than he did when he was 18

[patrickblue]

Bizarrely, Rooney looks younger now than he did when he was 18

Certainly got more hair.

[MilnersJaw]

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/wayne-rooney-paid-50m-ransom-to-stay-at-manchester-united-6528016.html

Never forget.

I remember this. Wow he was 25 then? He was already on his way out of being 'good'. in fact as soon as he signed that new contract he went from average to utter shit AT twenty FUCKING five.

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

Pictures of Lukaku's first training session have been posted on the rag website

[Nigels Tackle]

Pictures of Lukaku's first training session have been posted on the rag website

the classic dzonkey clip
one of the best on the internet

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

Pictures of Lukaku's first training session have been posted on the rag website

the classic dzonkey clip
one of the best on the internet

Apparently, part of the add-ons includes £10 thousand to Everton every time Lukaku traps the ball successfully. Everton are expecting to make as much as £20 thousand from this revenue stream over the course of Lukaku's 5-year contract.